


You're The Kind of Person I Want To Be With When I Want To Be Alone

by funidontlikeyoueither



Category: Glee
Genre: Break Up, Canon Attempted Non/Con, Cheating, Don’t copy to another site, Endgame Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe, First Time, Fluff, How I Met Your Mother References, M/M, Major Angst in the First Part of this, Minor Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe, Minor Character Death, Minor Kurt Hummel/Chandler Kiehl, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Not Canon Compliant, Not Rachel Friendly, OOC Elements, Really really Blaine Unfriendly, Suicide Attempt, Valentine's Day Fluff, super slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:56:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 123,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25877044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funidontlikeyoueither/pseuds/funidontlikeyoueither
Summary: During his senior year, it seems like nothing can go right for Kurt. That is until someone decides to help him. S3 Rewrite[EDITED 19/02/2021 - 20/02/2021]
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Kurt Hummel/Noah Puckerman, Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 395
Kudos: 216





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kurtsiehummel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurtsiehummel/gifts).



> Hey! This is a S3 rewrite, but most canon elements have been changed.  
> Also TW’s will be mentioned in the notes of the chapters they’re in, so please read the notes before each chapter :)  
> This fic going to be super Blaine unfriendly but my next two are gonna be Blaine friendlyish (??)  
> Thank you ❤️

Blaine had never seen eyes that kind of green. The guy looked mischievous and intelligent; Blaine was already intrigued.

Blaine was sitting in the Lima Bean, drinking his coffee and working on his summer-reading, when this mysterious stranger caught his eye. He was tall, slim, and had great hair. But it was the eyes that caught him off guard.

"I couldn't help but notice your staring, killer," the boy said, smirking. "Like the view?"

"You bet." Blaine was breathless. The guy was gorgeous in every way possible. "What's your name?"

"Sebastian Smythe," he told Blaine.

"I'm-"

"Blaine Anderson," Sebastian cut off. "You're a Warbler legend."

"Oh, you attend Dalton?" Blaine didn't recognise the boy.

"Starting after the summer. So, you interested in seeing the rest of the show?" Sebastian winked and Blaine almost passed out. This guy was unreal. 

He was about to tell Sebastian that he had a boyfriend but then he backed out. Kurt had been away all summer and it didn't hurt for Blaine to talk to people, right? As long as he didn't act on it. "Sorry, you're not really my type."

Sebastian raised his eyebrow. "Really? Cause I can be anything you want, babe," he whispered, intertwining his fingers with Blaine's.

Blaine took a deep breath. "I'm sure. It was nice meeting you, though."

"See you around, Blaine Warbler." Sebastian nodded his head at Blaine and walked away.

Blaine watched as he left. There was something about that guy- Blaine couldn't put his finger on it. Sure, he was attractive. But so was Kurt. 

And Blaine loved Kurt; he really did. But Kurt was a _boyfriend_. Sebastian, however, was a sexy, mysterious stranger that Blaine could have his way with and then never see again. 

_But I could never cheat on Kurt_ , Blaine thought.

* * *

He knew it was wrong, but for the rest of the day, Blaine couldn't stop thinking about Sebastian. What he hated more was that he didn't feel guilty for it. _It's not cheating if you don't act on it_ , he kept reminding himself. 

He repeated it again and again while he looked the guy up on Facebook that night.

"Public page," Blaine muttered, reading the details aloud. "Plays lacrosse, from Paris, spent all summer with the Warblers... Damn, looks hot shirtless." He took a screenshot of the photo. That would come in handy later.

Before he could help himself, he switched over to the Messenger app. He typed in 'Sebastian Smythe' and texted him.

**Blaine Anderson: Did you enjoy your coffee?**

It took a while, but half an hour later, Sebastian replied.

**Sebastian Smythe: Stalk much?**

**Blaine Anderson: What else can a lonely guy do in his spare time?**

**Sebastian Smythe: IDK if you've been living under a rock, but sex is pretty good.**

Blaine sighed when he read the message. In Kurt's absence, he had been doing whatever he could to keep his mind off of sex. Which was strange, because he was missing something that he hadn't even tried to begin with. 

It wasn't that he and Kurt were opposed to the idea; it's just that there was never a good time. There was almost always someone in Kurt's house, or Blaine had a ton of homework. 

But then Blaine remembered that Sebastian didn't know him and they would probably never meet in front of Kurt, so it wouldn't hurt to lie.

**Blaine Anderson: Only pretty good? Clearly, you must be inexperienced.**

**Sebastian Smythe: Call me inexperienced when you use an average amount of hair gel.**

Blaine rolled his eyes. 

**Blaine Anderson: Trust me, it's better than my natural hair.**

Blaine stopped himself from typing. This was going too far; talking about his natural hair was a sensitive topic for him so he needed to control himself. _Kurt wouldn't do this to me_ , he thought. But then a dark part of him said, _Screw Kurt. He left you alone for the summer, you don't deserve to be lonely._

He received another text, but it wasn't from Sebastian.

**Kurt Hummel: I miss you. Wanna call? X**

Blaine sighed. _Fun's over, time to get back to reality_ , he thought. He texted a quick but flirty goodbye to Sebastian, promising that it wasn't the end, then called Kurt.

" _Hey, honey_ ," Kurt chirped. The sound of his boyfriend's voice instantly brought a smile to Blaine's face. " _How was your day?_ "

"It was... interesting," Blaine replied honestly. "I got some work done and read a bit. Talked to a Warbler."

" _Jeff or Nick?_ " Kurt asked, remembering that Blaine was closest to the two of them.

"Neither. Someone new," Blaine told him. Then, he decided to switch the topic to avoid being too honest with Kurt. Sometimes a little secrecy was good for a relationship, right? "So, how was your day?"

" _Fun. Finn tried to touch a crab; he called it a bigger failure than Nationals. Have you thought any more about transferring?_ "

Blaine rubbed the back of his neck and glanced over at the photo from prom. He didn't have the heart to tell Kurt that he didn't want to transfer, so, he tried to avoid the topic at all costs. 

Before today, he was unsure of his choice. But meeting Sebastian had made his mind for him; he wanted to stay at Dalton. He had been reminded of his love for the Warblers and how exciting it was to meet new members. And if he got to spend more time with Sebastian, then that was just a fun coincidence. "Um, I don't know, babe. I still need to talk to my parents and there's transferring papers and stuff. Plus, I’d have to say goodbye to all the Warblers."

" _Oh._ " Kurt couldn't hide the sadness in his tone. " _Well, just think about it. I'd love to spend more time with you, but I understand that it'd be hard to leave all your friends._ "

"It'd be harder to leave you..."

" _You wouldn't be leaving me if you stayed, Blaine. Things would be just like they were last year._ "

That thought scared Blaine. Last year, as soon as Kurt transferred back to McKinley, it was as if all the Warblers got 1000x more attractive. The truth was, whenever Blaine wasn't with Kurt, he didn't trust himself. His time with Sebastian today proved that. There was something about being unfaithful that just seemed so endearing to Blaine.

But he couldn't hurt Kurt.

" _Blaine? You there?_ "

"Sorry, I was just... daydreaming," he said. He had been fantasising about Sebastian. "Um, can I text you later? My dinner’s almost ready and I need to shower."

" _Of course. I love you_."

"I love you too."

Blaine hung up on Kurt and then went into the bathroom, but he certainly wasn't going to shower.

* * *

4 days later, Blaine ran into Sebastian again. He was just in the line at the Lima Bean when he felt someone put their arm around him. 

"Hey, Blaine. Fancy seeing you here," Sebastian greeted.

"I gotta ask, why do you drive down here? It's 2 hours away."

"Well," Sebastian clicked his tongue, "you don't get coffee like this in Westerville. Then, of course, there's the," he checked Blaine out, "eye candy." When he winked, Blaine had to clear his throat before saying his next sentence.

"Of course, of course..." He ordered his coffee then turned back to Sebastian. "So, Dalton... do you board or live at home?"

"Board. My parents live in Westerville, but they're a little... overprotective. So, I take as much freedom as I can get."

"I see."

"Are you still boarding next year? Because if you are, we could hang out."

"Oh." Blaine had to admit, the idea of spending every day with Sebastian sounded perfect, but he still had a boyfriend. And he couldn't lose Kurt. "I don't know, I might move back home..."

"Shame. Oh well, guess there're more Warblers for me to have 'study nights' with." Sebastian winked again.

"Um, Sebastian, I have to be honest. I have a..." _a boyfriend, just say it, Blaine_ , he thought. But the way Sebastian was looking at him... 

"A?"

"A weird nipple, i- it's very different from the other one. I'm kind of insecure about it," he lied. 

"Not what I was expecting." Sebastian laughed. "Not gonna lie, I thought you were going to say you had a boyfriend. God, if you did, you would be a total jerk."

Blaine leaned in closer. "A jerk? Why?"

"Because you're taken but you're talking to me like you're not. It's one thing to lead someone on and to just not be interested in sex. It's another to do it because you have a boyfriend."

"Oh." Blaine sat back. "I see."

"Wait, you _don't_ have a boyfriend, right?"

"Oh, no, of course not." 

"Well, good. Because, for the record, I don't mind 'strange nipples.'"

Blaine laughed. "Right... most guys do."

"By the way, I do have another purpose for being here," Sebastian told him. "There's a Warbler party next week, and you are invited. And this other guy... Curtis?"

"Kurt?"

"Yeah, he's invited too. Warbler tie is advised." Sebastian stood up and threw Blaine's empty coffee cup in the trash. "See you around, Blaine Warbler."

Once again, Blaine watched Sebastian walk away. _What have I got myself into?_ he thought.

* * *

"Are you sure you can't make it?" Blaine asked for the 10th time, flopping onto his bed.

" _I'm sorry, honey. I'll be back in 2 weeks at least._ "

"Yeah..." Blaine mumbled. He had tried desperately to make sure that Kurt came to the Warbler party but it was useless. 

Blaine didn't trust himself to be around Sebastian alone. The no-sex-no-Kurt was starting to affect him now more than ever, and he knew it would only be a matter of time until he did something he'd regret. 

" _I miss you like mad_."

"Yeah, I miss you too," Blaine said half-heartedly. He reached under his bed and grabbed his laptop. He had intended to play some music to fill in the silence but he instead found himself on Sebastian's Facebook page. It was filled with images of Sebastian- Sebastian and his friends, Sebastian and his dog, Sebastian and the Eiffel tower. He looked beautiful in every one of them.

" _What are you doing?_ "

Blaine hesitated. He knew that telling Kurt the truth would upset him, but he didn't want to lie anymore. "Do you remember that Warbler who I told you about?"

" _Yeah_."

Blaine sent Kurt the shirtless photo of Sebastian that he had previously screenshotted. "I was looking through his Facebook."

" _He's attractive. Um, why were you looking through his Facebook? If you don't mind me asking_."

"Oh," one more lie couldn't hurt, "he mentioned he lived in Paris, and I was intrigued. You don't mind, do you?"

" _No, no, not at all. I'm sorry about the party, though_."

"It's okay..." Blaine muttered, licking his lips as he looked through more photos of Sebastian. "I'm sure you won't miss anything."

* * *

Blaine got out of his mom's car and straightened out his jacket. He had opted to wear his usual style of clothes, switching out his bowtie for his Warbler tie, as Sebastian had suggested. 

"Have a great time, sweetie," his mom said before driving off.

Blaine sighed happily. He had missed Dalton.

* * *

He made his way inside the building and instantly spotted Sebastian.

"Missed me?" Sebastian said, giving his signature smirk. "We really have to stop meeting like this; people will think that we're sleeping together."

Blaine laughed and linked his arm through Sebastian's. "Well, they'd be wrong."

"Don't remind me, babe."

* * *

"So," Blaine said, taking another sip of his beer, "what made you transfer to Dalton?"

"We originally lived in America, but then my father got a job offer in Paris, so we moved there for about 10 years. Then he got _another_ job offer back here, so, here I am," Sebastian explained.

"Cute story, but you didn't tell me why you chose _Dalton_ to attend."

"I thought it was obvious." Sebastian turned to look at the other boys who were chatting amongst themselves. "Plenty of entertainment here."

"How did you get invited here, anyway? You're not technically a Warbler yet if you're only starting next year."

"I've known Nick since we were kids; he invited me. I've been hanging with most of the Warblers since I moved back. Did you know most of these guys are gay?" Sebastian laughed. "I found that out the fun way."

"So, I take it you're not a relationship guy?" Blaine guessed. Sebastian had done nothing but talk about hookups.

Sebastian sighed. "I doubt that I'd ever find a guy who would be worth settling down for."

Blaine tried to not get hurt by the comment; after all, he wasn't after a relationship with Sebastian. He wasn't after anything with Sebastian. "I'm sure the right guy will come along."

Sebastian laughed. "Maybe." He grabbed Blaine's arm. "For now, there's only one thing I want."

"I- I'm sure there's someone else."

Sebastian put his lips up to Blaine's ear and whispered, "Not tonight there's not. What do you say, pretty boy?"

"I- I'm sorry, Sebastian. It's not going to happen," Blaine stuttered. 

Sebastian pulled back and shrugged. "Fair enough. Can't blame a guy for trying."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Blaine. There's plenty of other guys here for me to have fun with." Sebastian began to walk away from Blaine.

"Wait." Blaine grabbed Sebastian's arm. "Y- You really just wanted sex?"

"Duh."

"And if you won't get it from me, you'll just get it from someone else?"

"Wasn't that clear from the start?"

"Then why did you try so hard to get me?"

Sebastian chuckled. "As I told you; you're a Warbler legend. I simply had to know if you lived up to the hype." He saw the hurt look on Blaine's face. "Don't take it to heart, babe. It's just who I am."

He walked away and went to talk to some of the Warblers that Blaine had never bothered to learn the names of. Sebastian effortlessly chatted the boys up and Blaine felt jealousy rise up in him.

He wanted nothing more than to march over there, grab Sebastian by his tie, and kiss him. 

He finished off his beer and took a deep breath. 

As soon as he was going to approach Sebastian, the other boy ran out of the room. Blaine chased after him. "Sebastian? What's wrong?" 

Sebastian turned around. "Can you help me find Nick's room? Trent accidentally spilled his drink on my shirt and I need to change."

"Um, sure. It's just this way." 

Blaine led Sebastian up to Nick's room. As soon as they walked in, Sebastian ripped his stained shirt off. 

Blaine couldn't help but stare. He had never seen Kurt shirtless, so he had nothing to compare it to. Sebastian looked better than he had in the picture; Blaine imagined that a photo could never do him justice.

"Like what you see?" Sebastian teased, noticing Blaine gawking at him.

"I..." Blaine wasn't sure what came over him. He ran up to Sebastian and smacked their lips together roughly.

Sebastian pulled away. "What are you doing? I thought you weren't interested."

"Don't question it. If you make me think about it, I'll back out," Blaine hissed.

"Blaine, I don't want to do this if you don't."

"I want to do this so bad... Sebastian, please," Blaine whined. He pushed Sebastian onto the bed.

"I- okay." Sebastian began to unbutton Blaine's shirt. 

Blaine kept kissing Sebastian over and over, and it was beginning to get annoying. It was as if he was desperate.

* * *

Blaine insisted on being on top. Sebastian didn't mind; in some cases, he enjoyed being on the bottom. But after witnessing Blaine's kissing, Sebastian was sure that he wasn't going to have a good experience.

The entire time, he had to stop himself from yelling, “And you had the nerve to call me inexperienced.” He was willing to bet everything he had that before that night, Blaine was a virgin.

Blaine didn't live up to the hype. The Warblers had said he was 'sex on a stick' and claimed that he 'sings like a dream,' but neither of those things was true. Blaine probably could be more attractive if he didn't gel his hair so much and if he got a decent wardrobe. He obviously had no experience when it came to sex. 

As for singing like a dream, Sebastian had watched some of the old Warbler competition videos. Blaine wasn't anything special. He had an average singing voice, if not a little flat in some places. But, still, he was a legend with the Warblers and Sebastian had to respect that.

Besides, even if Blaine had lied about not being a virgin, he still seemed like a decent guy. And that was enough for Sebastian.

* * *

Eventually, it was over, and Sebastian had never felt as relieved in his life. As much as he liked Blaine, he couldn't think of any circumstances where he would do it again.

"Did you like that?" Blaine asked, snuggling up to Sebastian.

 _Oh God, he's a cuddler_ , Sebastian thought, mentally rolling his eyes. "Um, yeah. Good job," he mumbled.

"Do I live up to the hype?"

 _Oh God, if he keeps asking questions, I'm going to have to break his heart_. "You sure do, babe. Maybe we should get back to the party?"

"5 more minutes."

Sebastian mentally groaned. He'd made a lot of mistakes in his life but this one was by far the worst. "Okay."

* * *

Blaine thought that cuddling Sebastian would make it better. He thought it would make the sex mean something. But it didn't. He had still poisoned his relationship with Kurt, and for what? He still didn't feel any better about himself. But he didn't regret it either.

He had loved every minute of it. The fact that two people who had nothing to do with each other wanted Blaine made him feel desired. He loved the feeling.

His phone buzzed on Nick's nightstand. He leaned over and grabbed it.

**Kurt: Hey, handsome. How's the party? X**

Blaine ignored the text. 

"Who was that?" Sebastian muttered.

Blaine smiled and rested his head back on Sebastian's chest. "No one."


	2. In Love With A Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt comes home from vacation to find there there is more to Blaine’s new friend Sebastian than he originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Inference of death

"Knock, knock," Blaine said as he opened Kurt's bedroom door. "I have a surprise for you."

Kurt's eyes lit up as he jumped off his bed to embrace his boyfriend. "You're the best surprise I could ever get! Oh my God, I've missed you so much." He kissed Blaine all over his face.

"I've missed you too. But please, I think you'll really like this."

Kurt sat back down on his bed. "What is it?"

"I'm moving to McKinley!"

"Oh my God! Really?!" 

"Yes, really! I love you and I want to spend all my time with you." 

"I- I can't believe this. God, I have the best boyfriend ever!" Kurt squeaked.

"Yeah?" Blaine smirked and sat beside Kurt. He put his hand on Kurt's thigh. "Why don't you show me how good I am?"

Kurt bit his lip and moved Blaine's hand away. "Um, how about I buy you a coffee? We can go to the Lima Bean."

Blaine sighed but nodded. Ever since his affair with Sebastian, Blaine had been desperate to have sex with Kurt. But he knew he had to respect Kurt's wishes and wait until they were both ready. "Sure."

* * *

Kurt hummed along to the music on the radio as he drove them to the Lima Bean. He couldn't help but notice that something about Blaine seemed off. 

Now that he thought about it, there had been something off about Blaine since he attended the Warbler party. He made a mental note to ask Blaine about it later. 

"Can I ask you something?" Blaine asked, turning down the music.

"Of course."

"Why won't you have sex with me?" 

"Blaine, I just don't think I'm ready yet. We've talked about this," Kurt blushed.

"We've been together for 6 months, how can't you be ready?"

"I- I don't know. Please, can we talk about something else?" Kurt fought the urge to pull over and scream. Talking about sex- especially with Blaine- was something that he tried to avoid at all costs. Kurt wasn't sure why he hated it. He didn't have a problem with sex, it was just that whenever Blaine tried to make a move, he froze. Something inside of him told him that Blaine wasn't the one.

"Is it me? Am I not good enough?"

"Blaine!" Kurt snapped. His boyfriend knew how uncomfortable he was with the topic, yet he wouldn't stop.

Blaine grunted and slouched back in the seat. He knew that sleeping with Sebastian was a mistake. Before, he hadn't known what he was missing, but now he wanted to be with Kurt more than ever. "I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't push you. It's just... we've been apart for so long and I missed you. But if you're not ready, that's okay."

Kurt sighed. "I forgive you. Can we talk about something else? How was the Warbler party?"

"It was great," Blaine smiled as he remembered what he and Sebastian did. "Though, there was a fire."

"A fire? What?"

"Yeah. We got pretty hungry and decided to cook a bunch of pizzas. Turns out that 20 drunk teenagers shouldn't use ovens."

"What happened next?"

"I don't know. I ran out of there and took a taxi home. I'm guessing they handled it," Blaine lied. 

"You were a true hero," Kurt teased.

"Are we okay?" Blaine asked.

"I... what do you mean?"

"It feels like we're out of sync. I didn't upset you with anything about the sex talk, did I?"

Kurt felt his face grow hot again. Why wouldn't Blaine just drop it already? "No, you didn't. We've been apart for a while; that might be it."

"We called each other every day. Did something happen to you?"

Kurt took a deep breath to prevent himself from saying something he'd regret. "Me? No. You? Maybe. You're the one who's bringing up sex in practically every other sentence. If you're that desperate for it, then why not find someone else?"

"Find someone else..? Kurt, I don't want anyone but you," Blaine whispered. He reached for Kurt's hand but he pulled away. 

"I'm driving, Blaine."

"Okay. Look, we've been together for half a year. Most kids our age do it after being together for a week. I get that you're nervous but don't you think this is a little much?" Blaine said gently.

Kurt didn't say anything. He turned the car around sharply and began to drive in the opposite direction. Blaine didn't know where Kurt was driving to but one look at his boyfriend's face told Blaine not to even ask.

Eventually, Kurt parked the car outside of his house. "I guess you're right, Blaine. This is a little much. So, come on. We're outside my house; my parents aren't home. Let's just go up to my room and get it over and done with! Screw being comfortable, right?" Kurt yelled. He slammed his hands on the dashboard.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I didn't mean it like that." Blaine put his hand on Kurt's shoulder. "What's going on? I know there's more to it."

Kurt sighed. "My dad started to get sick again on vacation. It wasn't anything bad, but..."

"The heart attack... Is he okay?"

"I don't know. Carole's taking him to the doctors later this week. Blaine, what if something happens to him?"

"It won't, Kurt. I promise." Blaine wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I wasn't being entirely fair either."

"Do you want to go inside and watch a movie, or go to the Lima Bean?"

Kurt wiped away the tears that were in the corners of his eyes. He didn't want to be alone with Blaine at that moment. "Lima Bean. I did promise you a coffee, remember?"

"Okay, honey."

* * *

Kurt held tightly onto Blaine's hand as they walked into the Lima Bean. He was embarrassed to admit that he had had a slight breakdown in the parking lot. After admitting the truth about his dad to Blaine, the memory of his dad collapsing when Finn and Carole were out on a walk wouldn't leave his mind. 

"I'll go get our drinks. Can you go find a table?" Kurt asked, letting go of Blaine's hand.

"Sure. You remember my order, right?"

Kurt smiled. "Like I could ever forget."

Blaine chuckled and was about to sit at an empty table when a familiar set of green eyes caught his attention. "Sebastian Smythe."

Sebastian looked up from his phone and smirked. "Blaine Warbler. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm just here with my..." there was no way he could hide the truth anymore, "boyfriend. Kurt Hummel."

"Is that the guy who was a no-show at the party?"

"That would be the Kurt." Blaine felt some shame rise in him. He couldn't help but wonder if the night would have ended differently if Kurt would have been at the party.

"So, what? Did you guys just get together last week or something?"

"Um, kinda," Blaine lied. 

"Can I meet him? Or are you worried he'll realise how badly dressed you are compared to me?"

Blaine laughed and took a seat on one of the spare chairs. "Always ready to put me in my place, Sebastian."

"Does he know about us or do you want me to pretend nothing happened?" 

"Um, pretend nothing happened. He's kind of sensitive about that kind of stuff," Blaine said.

"What stuff? Sex?"

"Yeah, exactly!" Blaine exclaimed, then he felt bad. He shouldn't be talking that way about Kurt. "But, you know, he's the best."

"Who's the best?" a voice asked from behind Blaine. He felt a chill go down his spine.

* * *

Kurt thanked the barista for the coffees and made his way back to the table. He spotted Blaine straight away but he could have sworn that he saw his boyfriend talking to someone. 

As he got closer, he saw that Blaine was sat opposite a very handsome guy who looked eerily familiar. That was when it hit him- it was that Sebastian guy. The Warbler that Blaine was talking to. The one who lived in Paris. The one who was at the party.

The surge of jealousy that Kurt had felt when he saw the shirtless photo of Sebastian came back. 

"He's kind of sensitive about that kind of stuff," he heard Blaine say.

"What stuff?" Sebastian said. Kurt drew in a sharp breath when he heard the guys voice. It was the type of voice that was soothing to hear. "Sex?"

Kurt gasped. Blaine was telling Sebastian about their sex life? About their _non-existent_ sex life? 

"Yeah, exactly!" 

Kurt felt like he was going to cry. Was this what they had been doing every time they had met up? Making fun of him?

"But, you know, he's the best," Blaine added, a small smile on his face.

Kurt took a deep breath, put on a straight face, and strutted up to the table. "Who's the best?"

* * *

"Who's the best?"

Sebastian looked away from Blaine and looked at the guy before him. He finally knew what angels looked like.

He assumed that the guy was Kurt, Blaine's boyfriend. There was certainly a lot of things that Blaine had a bad taste in- clothes, amounts of hair gel, how to use his lips- but his taste in men was definitely not one of them.

Kurt was one of the most attractive men he'd ever met. He was tall, had perfect hair, clear skin, gorgeous blue eyes... and he actually knew how to dress.

But when Sebastian looked closer he saw that Kurt seemed sad. His nose was slightly puffy, there was slight redness around his eyes, and his smile wasn't complete. Kurt had been crying, that was obvious. But he was also tense. Kurt seemed like the type of person to not trust easily.

Sebastian threw Kurt his signature smirk; the smirk that would normally make guys blush like crazy. But Kurt only gave him back a glare.

"Um, you, honey. Kurt, this is Sebastian. Sebastian, Kurt," Blaine said quickly.

"Nice to meet you," Sebastian said and held out his hand.

"Likewise," Kurt replied, shaking Sebastian's hand a little too roughly.

Kurt took a seat beside Blaine, making a show of linking arms with him and resting his head on his shoulder.

"So, Kurt, where do you go to school? Apparently, you transferred out late last year," Sebastian said, attempting to make conversation.

"McKinley High. Blaine's moving there, too."

Sebastian saw Blaine gulp. "Ah, I see you found your replacement school already then," he said to Blaine.

Kurt tilted his head. "Replacement school?"

"Didn't Blaine tell you? At the party, we kinda set a fire and part of the school burned down. So, they expelled all the Warblers who were at the party. Including Blaine and I."

Kurt bit his lip. "No, Blaine did not tell me that."

"I was going to," Blaine croaked. "Um, I'm going to go to the bathroom."

Kurt nodded halfheartedly. 

Sebastian looked at Kurt again once Blaine had left. He was still struck by Kurt's beauty. "Did I do something to offend you?" he asked.

"No," Kurt muttered.

"Are you sure?"

Kurt sighed. "I'm having kind of a rough day. It wasn't fun to see my boyfriend talking to the guy he wouldn't shut up about all summer."

"Oh," was all Sebastian said. 

"'Oh,' indeed."

"I couldn't help but notice that you've been crying. Is it anything you want to talk about?" 

"I literally just met you," Kurt snapped. "Can you mind your own business?"

"I'm sorry-"

Kurt sighed again. "No, I'm sorry. It's just really private and I'm trying to forget about it."

A silence followed between them. Sebastian coughed awkwardly and Kurt looked up.

"So, how did you and Blaine get together?" he asked since he had Kurt's attention.

Kurt seemed to perk up a bit. "Oh, well we first met when I went to Dalton to spy on the Warblers. It was pretty much love at first sight for me, and after a while, he felt the same. Though he kind of had a thing with another guy before we got together."

Sebastian wondered if he was the other guy. "That's cute."

"I have to ask," Kurt said. "Has anything happened between you and Blaine?"

Sebastian recalled what Blaine said earlier. "Nope. He's just a friend."

"I- I guess, maybe we should be friends too then?"

"Yeah. I'd like that," Sebastian said. 

* * *

Blaine returned from the bathroom to find Kurt and Sebastian happily engaging in conversation. He frowned at the scene; they were supposed to be the two people that fawned over him, not each other.

"So," he said, opting to sit on the seat beside Sebastian rather than Kurt, "what are we talking about?"

Kurt gave Blaine a strange look but moved past it. "Paris."

"Yeah, you know, I used to live there and Kurt's visited it many times. Blaine, you never told me how great your boyfriend was."

Blaine laughed. "Yeah, Kurt's great. But so are you, Sebastian." He playfully punched Sebastian's shoulder.

Kurt looked down at his coffee cup and Blaine caught the sudden change in his boyfriend. "So, Kurt, why don't we head out?" he suggested. He felt sort of bad for giving Sebastian attention when Kurt was sat right there.

"Sure," Kurt said, standing up. "Um, nice to meet you, Sebastian."

"You too, Kurt. See you around, Blaine Warbler." Sebastian winked at them both. 

* * *

The car ride back to Blaine's was awkward.

"So, that was Sebastian," Kurt drawled out. When he first saw the picture of Sebastian, he was caught off guard. He had hoped that Sebastian wasn't the same in real life- maybe he had a high-pitched voice or the picture was incredibly old and he no longer looked that way.

But Sebastian was every bit as perfect as Kurt had dreaded he would be.

"Yeah, that was Sebastian."

"You guys seem close."

"Kurt," Blaine rested his hand on Kurt's thigh, "I promise it's nothing like that. I would never do that to you." _Except you already have_ , he thought.

"I know. I trust you. It's just... he's so attractive."

"I know. But you're the only person I have eyes for," Blaine reminded him. He saw Kurt smile, but there was still a slight sadness to it. "Have you spoken to your dad?"

Kurt shook his head. "I think he's going to get better."

"I'm sure he will, Kurt."

* * *

Kurt dropped Blaine off at his house then made his way back home. He liked being alone. It meant that there was no one to judge him when he cried, no one to lie to him and tell him that everything will be okay.

He knew things weren't going to be okay.

Eventually, though, it all got to him. The idea that he was going to lose his dad; Blaine and Sebastian's friendship; Blaine talking about him behind his back...

Kurt pulled over to the side of the road. There was no one else around so he yelled and slammed his hands on the steering wheel. Then he whimpered because it hurt. 

He sighed and leaned back, wiping away the tears that fell down his face. _Get yourself together, Hummel_ , he thought. 

Looking out of the window, Kurt realised that he was only halfway home from Westerville. Driving the rest of the way home would be impossible since he couldn't risk breaking down again. He could get into an accident or something.

He grabbed his phone from his pocket and dialled Finn's number.

" _What's up, little brother?_ "

"F- Finn?" he stuttered. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Finn?"

" _Kurt? Are you okay?_ "

"No. Can you come and pick me up, please? I can't drive home."

" _Yeah, I'm just at Puck's. Where are you?_ "

"The gas station halfway between Lima and Westerville."

" _Um, okay. I'll get a taxi, so I'll be about an hour. Stay where you are, I'll be there soon._ "

"Thanks, Finn."

* * *

Half an hour into waiting, Kurt's phone died. He wasn't sure if anyone called him, so he just prayed that Finn would still be able to make it.

He passed the rest of the time by just listening to music and drawing on an old tissue he found. Before he realised it, he was drawing his and Blaine's wedding.

When it was almost dark, a taxi pulled up outside the gas station. Finn paid the driver and got out of the car. Kurt ran out of his own car and hugged Finn.

"Thank you so much," he whispered. "I'm sorry you had to-"

"Hey, don't apologise. You know that I'll always look out for you. Now, come on, let's get you home. Your dad's probably worried sick-" Finn stopped himself. "I'm sorry, that was..."

"It's fine, Finn. Can we go home?"

"Of course."

* * *

"So, what stopped you from driving?" Finn asked as he started the engine. 

"I didn't trust myself to drive. I was on my way back from dropping Blaine off, when everything just," he gestured a wave crashing down, "it all got to me."

"What is 'all' in this case?" 

"My dad, Blaine, this guy Sebastian, graduating..."

Finn smiled. "You aren't graduating for like another year. Your dad is going to be fine, I promise. But I don't know anything about Blaine and that Sebastian. I mean, the last I heard, you and Blaine were on the verge of eloping."

Kurt laughed. "I think we're far from it."

"Did you guys break up?"

"No. While we were away, he met this guy, Sebastian. He's like a God. And Blaine was like all over him, and I was just sat there. I feel like I'm not there anymore," his voice cracked, "and I know it's stupid, but I heard Blaine talking to Sebastian about how I'm sensitive and..."

"Kurt, oh, buddy. Do you want me to take you to Blaine’s house and you guys can talk it out?"

"No," Kurt shook his head, "I just want to see my dad."

* * *

Finn had barely managed to park the car before Kurt was running inside. As soon as he saw his dad, he embraced him in a huge hug and began sobbing.

"Buddy," Burt sighed, patting his son's back, "are you okay?"

Kurt nodded his head, despite his entire body shaking. He pulled back and wiped his face. "I just missed you."

"Kurt." Burt sighed, knowing that wasn't Kurt's reason for crying. "It'll be okay. We don't know for sure-"

"Dad, I'm not a little kid. I need you to be honest with me."

Burt hung his head. "It's not lookin' good, kiddo. You know I'll love you no matter what, though."

Kurt nodded. "I love you too, Dad."


	3. It’s Not Cheating If He Doesn’t Find Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian makes some decisions about school and gets closer to Kurt.

The next time Kurt and Blaine were at the Lima Bean, Blaine took the responsibility of ordering their drinks. This made Kurt the one to find them a table.

Despite it being an early Wednesday morning, the Lima Bean was surprisingly packed. Kurt was certain that they would have to find somewhere outside to sit, but then someone shouted his name.

“Kurt! Hey, care to join me?”

Kurt spun around and smiled at Sebastian. It had only been a few days since Kurt last saw the guy, so he was surprised to see Sebastian so soon.

“You live in Westerville, right?” Kurt asked, sitting opposite Sebastian.

“Yeah.”

“Why are you in Lima so often? It’s a pretty long drive, despite how good the coffee is.”

“Truth be told, I don’t actually like the coffee. I come here for the people.”

Kurt raised his eyebrow. “The people?”

“Yeah, there’s decent guys here.”

“I take it you’ve burned through all the Warblers,” Kurt teased.

“Well, the ones that will have me.”

“So, who do you have your eye on?” Kurt scanned the customers, but he couldn’t see anyone their age.

Sebastian pointed behind Kurt. “Him.” 

Kurt turned around to see a cute guy who was reading _Great Expectations_. “Isn’t he a little old?”

Sebastian shrugged. “I’d say 19 or 20, but I’m not here to score. After all, you’re not allowed to touch the masterpieces.”

“Sure.” Kurt laughed. “So, what are you gonna do now that Dalton burned down? Go back to your old school?”

“Well, seeing as my old school is in Paris: no. But, I actually wanted to talk to you about that.”

“Me? Go on.”

“You seemed to have a bit of a problem with me being around Blaine the last time we met. And I want to be on good terms with you, so, I thought I’d ask before making any final decisions: would you be okay with me transferring to McKinley? It’s not just me; Trent, Jeff, Nick, and a few of the other Warblers are considering it.”

Kurt sat back. “Uh, yeah, I’d be fine with it. But, no offence here, wouldn’t you rather go to a private school?”

“I would, but school starts next week so it’s a _little_ late to apply. Plus, expulsion doesn’t really sit well with private schools.”

“Yeah, I’d be okay with you going to McKinley. But next time, don’t ask. It’s your choice.”

Sebastian nodded. “Noted. Speaking of Blaine, where is he? Did you come here alone?”

“Nope, he’s getting our drinks.”

“Well, while he’s gone, can I get your phone number?”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “You have no shame, do you? God, my boyfriend is literally-”

“Not like that, Kurt. I just figured if we were going to the same school, and if we’re going to be friends, it wouldn’t hurt to be able to _call_ each other, would it?”

Kurt sighed. “Well, in that case, sure. Pass me your phone.”

Sebastian handed Kurt his phone and watched as he typed in his number. He had just handed Sebastian back his phone when Blaine approached the table. 

“Hey, guys,” he said. He passed Kurt his drink. “What are we talking about today?”

“I’m transferring to McKinley,” Sebastian told him. 

Blaine grinned. “Really? That’s great. God, I can see it now: us three will be like the three musketeers.”

Both Kurt and Sebastian let out a fake laugh. 

* * *

“I have a question,” Kurt said as he and Blaine left the coffee house a few hours later.

“Shoot.”

“Did you only transfer to McKinley because Dalton burned down?”

“I... Kurt, don’t take it the wrong way-”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that before? It’s not a big deal, you just made it out to seem like you did it for me.”

Blaine sighed. “I did do it for you. If I didn’t want to go to the same school as you, I would’ve gone somewhere else. I was just unsure about leaving Dalton.”

“Okay,” Kurt said and he linked his fingers with Blaine’s.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

That night, Sebastian jumped into his bed, relieved. His parents had asked about his whereabouts, trying to take an interest in his life for once. He was honest about going to the Lima Bean and hanging out with Blaine and Kurt, but the tricky part was lying about Scandals.

He made up a story about having to help Nick with some summer studying (a quick text was all it took to get Nick on board with the cover story), and finally, his parents let him go to bed.

It was 1 A.M. but Sebastian couldn’t sleep. He was still feeling the buzz from the alcohol (luckily his parents didn’t seem to notice that he was slightly tipsy, they were always oblivious to that kind of stuff) and he wanted something to do.

He scrolled through his contacts until he found Kurt’s.

** Sebastian: Hey this is Kurt right? **

** Kurt: If I say yes will you let me go back to sleep? **

** Sebastian: But I cant sleep **

** Kurt: That’s not my fault  **

** Sebastian: Well part of the reason I can’t sleep is that I don’t know if I’m texting Kurt or a 37 year old serial killer **

** Kurt: This is Kurt **

** Sebastian: I don’t believe you **

Kurt sent Sebastian a very cute, but also angry, photo of himself wrapped in a pile of blankets.

** Kurt: Believe me now? **

** Sebastian: I guess :D **

** Kurt: Can I sleep now? **

** Sebastian: No **

** Sebastian: I’m still wide awake **

** Kurt: Again, not my issue **

** Sebastian: I will spam you **

** Sebastian: Kurt? **

** Sebastian: I’m not lying  **

** Sebastian: Give me an S **

** Sebastian: S! **

** Sebastian Give me a P **

** Sebastian: P! **

** Sebastian: Give me an A **

** Sebastian: A! **

** Sebastian: Give me an M **

** Sebastian: M! **

** Sebastian: What does that spell? **

** Kurt: LET ME SLEEP OR I WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY **

** Sebastian: SPAMMMMMMM :D **

** Kurt: Just so we’re clear I wake up at 7am every morning and I’m not above being your alarm clock **

** Sebastian: Fineeeeeeee go sleep **

** Kurt: Thank you. GN Sebastian x **

** Sebastian: Gnight Kurt x **

Even hours after Kurt had left, he still found himself re-reading the texts. Kurt wasn’t like anyone he had ever met before. He was funny, kind, serious and immature at the same time. 

It was a shame that he was Blaine’s.

And for a moment, he thought that he wouldn’t mind being Kurt’s.

But that thought left the second that Kurt called him at 7:30 A.M, demanding that he woke up.

* * *

Despite them finally being at the Lima Bean without Sebastian, Blaine still wouldn’t shut up about him.

“Honestly, if we can convince him to join the New Directions, I think we could really have a shot at winning this year.”

Kurt just nodded and drank his coffee. 

“It’s a shame he’s only here for a year.”

Kurt paid attention then. “Is he going back to a private school next year?”

“No, he’s graduating.”

“He’s a senior?”

“Yeah, didn’t he tell you?”

Kurt shook his head. “It didn’t really come up.”

“So, how’s your dad doing?”

“Blaine, I don’t really want to talk about it here.”

Blaine reached across the table and took Kurt’s hand. “It’s good to talk about your feelings.”

“Blaine,” Kurt shifted in his seat, “not here. Please?”

Blaine sighed. “Okay, whatever.”

“Actually, can we go for a walk or something? I do need to get some things off my chest.”

“Uh, sure. Come on.”

* * *

It was a lot warmer outside than Kurt remembered so he shrugged off his jacket 10 minutes into the walk. He noticed that Blaine’s hand was unusually sweaty so he used the excuse of carrying his jacket as to why he wouldn’t hold hands. 

“So,” Blaine said, his tone a little cold, “what did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know what to do when I lose my dad.”

“Kurt, you don’t know that he’s going to die.”

“Think about it; when has anything ever gone right for me? I swear I have the worst luck in the world.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “So I guess that I’m not right for you?” he scoffed.

“Aw, no, Blaine. I just- I’m sorry, I didn’t...”

“I get it, Kurt. You’re worried about your dad. I know you lost your mom but that doesn’t mean anything is going to happen to your dad.”

The sun was shining into Kurt’s face, making his eyes water but Blaine mistook it for Kurt crying. 

“Honey, I’m sorry, that was insensitive-“

“No, no, it’s okay. I’ll be okay. My dad will be okay,” Kurt said softly. 

Blaine sat down on a nearby bench. Kurt joined him and rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“So, senior year? What do you think that’ll have in store for us?”

Kurt closed his eyes. “Hopefully not another Prom Queen fiasco.”

“Well, you know I’ll be your King any day.”

Kurt smiled, though he didn’t find the comment to be quite as romantic as it was intended to be. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I was thinking about running for school president,” Kurt said. “It might help me with my college application.”

Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hand. “You’re thinking about college already?”

“Yeah.”

_ A whole year without Kurt _ , Blaine thought. “Have you considered a gap year instead? You could stay in Lima and...”

“I don’t want to fall behind, Blaine.”

“I know, it’s just... I’m going to miss you.”

Kurt moved his head and kissed Blaine. “I’m going to miss you too,” he whispered.

* * *

2 days before going back to school, Kurt received a strange text.

** Sebastian: Do I dress too preppy? **

Kurt chuckled when he read it. He thought back to both times he had seen Sebastian: jeans and a striped polo shirt; buttoned shirt and shorts.

** Kurt: Kinda why? **

** Sebastian: Figured that if I’m gonna go to a public school I should dress differently.  **

** Kurt: You need help? **

** Sebastian: Yeah. Can we go to the mall? **

** Kurt: Sure, meet you at 2? **

After Sebastian had texted back an okay, Kurt called Blaine. “Hey. Can you meet me and Sebastian at the mall in 40 minutes?”

“ _Um, sorry, I’m really busy._ ”

“Oh, right. Sorry. I’ll cancel-”

“ _Kurt, you can go to the mall with Sebastian if you want. We’re allowed to hang out with other guys._ ”

Kurt couldn’t help but wonder if, at that moment, Blaine was with another guy. “Uh, yeah, course we are. I’ll see you later then. Love you.”

“ _Love you too_.”

* * *

Blaine moaned, the guy pushing him up against the cool wall of the bathroom. A couple of nights ago, he was texting Sebastian, who told him about the gay bar Scandals. Curiosity had gotten the better of him, and before he knew it, Blaine was surrounded by dozens of guys that were willing to sleep with him.

This one guy- Blaine had no idea what his name was- turned out to be particularly fond of Blaine, pulling him into the bathroom and pushing him up against the wall. He kissed Blaine all over, especially on his neck. Blaine got lost in the moment and forgot all about Kurt and Sebastian. 

It was almost 2 in the afternoon, yet the bar was filled with attractive guys. Blaine made a note to return one day in the evening. 

It wasn’t until the guy pulled at Blaine’s belt that he was pulled out of his trance.

“W- Wait,” he grunted. “I can’t do this.”

“Why not?” the guy said, annoyance clear in his tone.

“I have a boyfriend.”

“So? I won’t tell him.”

“Yeah, but I’ve already cheated on him once.”

“And what’s the issue with doing it again?”

“I love him-”

“If you loved him, you wouldn’t be with me now, would you?”

Blaine roughly shoved the guy away. “I do love him! I-It was just a mistake.”

The guy put his hands up in mock-defence. “Whatever, dude. Chill the hell out.” He walked out of the bathroom, leaving Blaine alone.

Blaine slid down the bathroom wall, holding back tears. His phone began to vibrate, and he considered ignoring it when he realised it could be something about Kurt’s dad.

“Hello?” he said.

“ _Hey. Can you meet me and Sebastian at the mall in 40 minutes?_ ” It was Kurt. Just hearing his boyfriend’s voice felt like a slap in his face.

“Um, sorry, I’m really busy,” he lied. He couldn’t see Kurt after what just happened. 

“ _Oh, right. Sorry. I’ll cancel-_ “ Kurt couldn’t cancel, especially just because Blaine couldn’t be faithful.

“Kurt, you can go to the mall with Sebastian if you want. We’re allowed to hang out with other guys,” he said, adding the last part to reassure Kurt.

“ _Uh, yeah, course we are. I’ll see you later then. Love you._ ”

“Love you too,” Blaine said softly. He dropped his phone onto the floor and rested his head between his legs. 

Kurt was the best thing that had happened to him and Blaine was always screwing it up. Kurt had never done anything to him- his dad was sick for God’s sake! Why couldn’t Blaine just help him be happy?

Blaine felt tears slip down his face. _What have I done?_ he thought.

* * *

Kurt grinned when he saw Sebastian wearing the hoodie. It suited him well- way better than the polo shirts he wore.

“You like it?” Sebastian asked, spinning around.

“Definitely,” Kurt said, browsing through some other shirts. He grabbed 2. “Try these.”

“God, you’re making me buy clothes for the whole year.”

Kurt laughed. “It’s funny that you think this is a year's worth.”

Sebastian began to pull the hoodie over his head.

“Whoa- whoa- whoa, what are you doing? Get in the changing room, mister,” Kurt said, pulling the hoodie back down. When he did, Sebastian looked at him for a long time.

“O- Okay,” he finally said. 

By the time he had come back, Kurt had picked out 10 more shirts. 

“Oh my God,” Sebastian said.

“This is the last of them, okay? Then we can get some food and start on pants.”

“Something tells me that opting to shop with you was a mistake,” Sebastian mumbled. “I’m exhausted already.”

“Better to be tired then underdressed.”

“Sure.” Sebastian laughed. “So, what do you think of this?”

Kurt drew in a sharp breath. Sebastian looked incredible- _too_ incredible. “Um, yeah. Looks great.”

“Looks great?” Sebastian wrinkled his nose. “Just _great_? I think I look drop-dead gorgeous.”

“Yeah,” Kurt looked away. “You do, okay? Now, try these on.”

“Does it really look that bad?” 

Kurt shook his head. “I- It looks really good.”

“Okay, I’ll take your word for it. I’ll go try on all,” he counted the shirts, “ _ten_ of these.”

“Yeah, you do that.”

* * *

20 minutes later, Sebastian still wasn’t back from the changing room. Kurt made his way over there and knocked on the wall. “Sebastian? Everything okay?”

“Um, I’m almost done. I just don’t think this shirt fits. Can you come in?” Sebastian called from inside the changing room.

“Yeah.” Kurt walked inside and was again struck by Sebastian’s beauty. The shirt was tight, in a good way. But it certainly wasn’t too small. “You just buttoned it wrong, that’s all.”

“Oh,” Sebastian looked down. He fumbled with the buttons for a few seconds until Kurt sighed.

“I’ll do them, hang on.”

“They’re really hard to do!”

“Because it’s new. It’ll break in after a while, okay?”

“Okay, whenever you say.”

Kurt began to unbutton the buttons from top to bottom. The lower he got, the more his hands started to shake. This was the most intimate he had been with a guy. He knew it was pathetic, but it was true.

“You okay? You seem a bit nervous,” Sebastian said.

“I- I’m fine.” Finally, Kurt had finished unbuttoning the shirt. Now all he had to do was button it back up. He reached for the first one at the bottom- Sebastian was right, it was stubborn. As he did each button, his breath grew hotter.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.” Kurt couldn’t believe that he was getting turned on by buttoning up a shirt- he wasn’t that much of a fashionista, was he? 

“Thanks,” Sebastian said, once it was finished. “So, what do you think?”

“You look perfect,” Kurt said before he could stop himself.

Sebastian blushed slightly, “Thank you. Um, shall we buy you some clothes while we’re here?”

Kurt snorted. “Do you have 8 hours to spare?”

“Maybe another day, then.”

Kurt started to leave the changing room when Sebastian cleared his throat. 

“I need you to unbutton it for me, please.”

* * *

Blaine wasn’t sure how long he was sobbing on the floor of the bathroom for, but, eventually, someone walked in. He didn’t bother to look up.

“Blaine? Is that you?”

Blaine looked up then. “Karofsky?”

David smiled, happy to see a familiar face. “Are you crying?”

“A little.” Blaine sniffed. He wiped the tears away and stood up.

“What’s wrong?”

Blaine sighed. “I’m the worst person in the world but I don’t feel bad about it. In fact, I kind of love doing it.”

David lost his smile. “Did you cheat on Kurt?”

“What? No,” Blaine shook his head. He’d forgotten that Kurt and David were closer now. “I...”

“Then why are you here? This is a gay bar.”

“I’m not here for sex! I- my mom... I snuck out because it annoys my mom, you know? And that makes me a horrible person but I love doing it.”

David shrugged. “Okay. So, why were you crying?”

“Because I knew that if K- my mom knew what I was doing, it would kill her. And I don’t want to do that to her, but I can’t seem to stop. I love it, and I love se- sneaking out.”

“Blaine, you’re a teenager. Teenagers sneak out and annoy their parents all the time. Don’t get so worked up over it, this stuff is normal.”

Blaine nodded. “Thanks, Karofsky.”

“Actually, I go by David now. I’m trying to put that stuff with Kurt behind me.”

Blaine nodded. “Well, I hope to see you around, David. Actually-“ was he really doing this? - “could I get your phone number?”

“Sure.”

* * *

Blaine left the bathroom feeling more confident, more sure of what he was doing. After a few minutes of searching, he found the guy that he was originally going to hook up with.

“Hey,” Blaine said coolly. He knew he had to redeem himself for his sort of breakdown earlier.

“Can I help you?” 

“Remember that little thing we had going on earlier?”

The guy chuckled. “I remember you only thinking about your boyfriend.”

“Yeah, well, forget about him,” Blaine replied, “because I have. At least for now.”

The guy set his drink down. “Now you’re speaking my language. Your place or mine?”

“Your place. I wanna make sure you don’t get too clingy and stick around for too long.”

“Whatever. As long as you’re out by 5, that’s all that matters.”

Blaine remembered that he and Kurt had plans for a date night at 6. “I’ll be gone by then.”


	4. I Imagine Death So Much It Feels More Like a Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt goes to school for his first day of his senior year, but not everything goes as he planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Minor character death  
> 

It wasn't how he imagined it. Kurt had thought that Blaine would be reasonable and would respect the fact that Kurt had been in the Glee club _way_ longer than he had. But he didn't. 

During lunch, the New Directions had to perform a song to help recruit new members. Kurt had expected them to all sing as a group but Blaine ended up singing more solo parts than Rachel.

Kurt rolled his eyes when he saw Blaine jumping on the tables. He snuck out of the cafeteria and decided to look for Sebastian. 

Kurt had noticed that Sebastian wasn't in the cafeteria at all, and if they were so desperate to recruit more members (despite 5 Warblers joining), then Sebastian was their best bet.

He looked through all the empty classrooms, the auditorium, the choir room, the football field, the bleachers, the gym, the locker room, but there was still no sign of Sebastian. He was about to give up when he decided to check out the library.

He had a polite catch up with the librarian, who was always kind enough to let him hide in the library after school when he was still being bullied. He asked her if anyone of Sebastian's description was in the library, and she said that someone was sitting in the back.

"Thank you," Kurt said and crept around the shelves to get a peek at who was sitting there. He didn't want to risk annoying any of the jocks on his first day back. He smiled when he recognised the shirt the guy was wearing- it was definitely Sebastian. No one but Kurt would be able to pick out that shirt.

He looked at the book Sebastian was reading and saw that it was all in French. "Tired of English?" Kurt said as he strutted over and sat down in the empty seat.

Sebastian grinned. "It's a boring language, what can I say?"

"How come you aren't in the cafeteria?"

"I can ask you the same question."

"I was looking for you."

"Should I be touched or afraid?" Sebastian winked. "Lunch is the only time I can read and I was missing France, so here I am."

Kurt nodded. "We- the New Directions- were being made to perform in the cafeteria to convince people to join us."

"And you left because..."

"I don't want to be there when they throw tomatoes."

"Ouch."

"So, my dear friend, I was wondering if you would be interested in joining?"

Sebastian laughed. "You just said that the students here throw tomatoes at you guys and _then_ you want me to join?"

"Please..."

"Sorry."

"Pretty please!" Kurt begged. 

Sebastian let out a long sigh then laughed. "I'll audition, okay?"

"Yes! Thank you! I'll talk to Mr Shue; you might be able to skip 6th and audition then," Kurt squeaked. 

"Um, teachers let you do that?" Sebastian laughed awkwardly.

"It's a public school, Seb. Teachers don't care what you do as long as they get paid." 

Sebastian laughed. "Okay, okay. Will you be at my audition?"

"Probably, I'll see if Blaine wants to come too."

"God, I can't believe I'm skipping class on my first day."

Kurt patted Sebastian on his shoulder as he stood up. "Welcome to McKinley."

* * *

Sebastian fidgeted nervously with his hands. Mr Shue had agreed to let Sebastian audition during 6th period. He was nervous, which was unusual because Sebastian was never nervous.

Maybe it was because Kurt was watching. He wasn't sure why that would make him anxious. Kurt had a boyfriend, so he didn't need to impress him or anything. Sebastian made a point to not go after guys who had boyfriends. 

He took 3 deep breaths then walked out onto the stage. Instantly, his eyes met with Kurt's, and the boy gave him a reassuring smile.

"Hi, I'm Sebastian Smythe, and I'll be singing _Glad You Came_ ," Sebastian said confidently. He saw Kurt whisper something to Mr Shue, then the teacher nodded at him. Sebastian gave the piano guy a thumbs up, then began to sing.

* * *

Blaine hadn't been able to make it to Sebastian's audition. Kurt had asked him nicely but Blaine had sounded annoyed and had hung up on him before Kurt could even explain the situation properly.

Sebastian had seemed nervous when he walked out on stage so Kurt had given him a reassuring smile.

"Hi, I'm Sebastian Smythe, and I'll be singing _Glad You Came_ ," Sebastian said. 

"Nick sent me a few videos of him singing," Kurt whispered to Mr Shue. "He's really good. He could be a new lead, maybe."

"Thanks for finding him," Mr Shue said, then nodded at Sebastian to start.

Sebastian took a deep breath, trying to wash his nervousness away. He had to remind himself that they were desperate for members, so he would most likely get in. _There's nothing at stake here_ , he thought.

_The sun goes down_

_The stars come out_

_And all that counts is here and now_

_My universe will never be the same_

_I'm glad you came_

Kurt gasped. The videos had been a few years old, low quality, and with a crappy mic- but in person, Sebastian's voice was _breathtaking_. 

_You cast a spell on me_

_Spell on me_

_You hit me like the sky fell on me_

_Fell on me_

_And I decided you look well on me_

_Well on me_

_So let's go somewhere no one else can see_

_You and me_

_Turn the lights out now_

_Now I'll take you by the hand_

_Hand you another drink_

_Drink it if you can_

_Can you spend a little time_

_Time is slipping away_

_Away from us so stay_

_Stay with me I can make_

_Make you glad you came_

_The sun goes down_

_The stars come out_

_And all that counts is here and now_

_My universe will never be the same_

_I'm glad you came_

_I'm glad you came,_

_You cast a spell on me_

_Spell on me_

_You hit me like the sky fell on me_

_Fell on me_

_And I decided you look well on me_

_Well on me._

_So let's go somewhere no one else can see_

_You and me_

_Turn the lights out now_

_Now I'll take you by the hand_

_Hand you another drink_

_Drink it if you can_

_Can you spend a little time_

_Time is slipping away_

_Away from us so stay_

_Stay with me I can make_

_Make you glad you came_

_The sun goes down_

_The stars come out_

_And all that counts is here and now_

_My universe will never be the same_

_I'm glad you came_

_I'm glad you came_

_I'm glad you came_

_So glad you came_

_I'm glad you came_

_I'm glad you came_

_The sun goes down_

_The stars come out_

_And all that counts is here and now_

_My universe will never be the same_

_I'm glad you came_

_I'm glad you came_

When Sebastian had finished singing, Kurt stood up and gave him a standing ovation. "Whoooo!" he cheered and mocked throwing a rose.

Mr Shue chuckled. "Thank you for that, uh, amazing performance, Sebastian. We'll see you after school?"

Sebastian grinned. "Yeah, yeah. Thank you." He left the stage, the smile still on his face.

"Again, thank you, Kurt," Mr Shue said. "Now, go back to class."

Kurt nodded, "Sure, Mr Shue."

He left the auditorium and ran down the hallway. "Sebastian?" he hissed, looking for the other male.

"Kurt?"

Kurt turned the corner and found Sebastian looking around cluelessly. 

"That was amazing-" "How was my performance?" they both said at the same time.

Kurt laughed. "It blew me away. Honestly, if you were with the Warblers, I don't think that we would've stood a chance."

"Thank you, that means so much."

They looked at each other for a minute, both smiling. Sebastian cleared his throat. "So, I'm still new here. Can you help me get back to class?"

"Oh, sure! What do you have?"

"French."

"You're kidding? You're in the same class as me."

Sebastian's smile grew. "Well, let's go then."

* * *

When they both made it to French class, their teacher wasn't impressed.

" _Why are you both so late?_ " Madame Thomas asked in French.

" _Um, we were with Monsieur Schuester_ ," Kurt replied, giving her a smile. Last year, she had been fond of him, mostly because he was the only student who could speak French.

"Very well," she said, switching back to English. "You two, sit on the back row," she pointed to the two seats at the back of the classroom.

Once they had sat down, Sebastian said softly, to avoid being heard by the teacher, "I thought you said teachers don't care if we miss classes?"

"They usually don't," Kurt whispered back. "She's one of the very few who do. If I'd have known that you had her, I would've arranged the audition for another time."

Sebastian nodded. "Can you wait for me before Glee? I don't-"

"Know where the choir room is? Yeah, I'll be your tour guide."

"Hey! It's my first day, it's not my fault."

"I know. Stoner Brett has been here for about 8 years and still shows up late to every class."

"8 years?" Sebastian raised his eyebrow.

"Well, that's just a rumour."

"Could you imagine being stuck at the same school for 8 years, though?"

Kurt felt sick just imagining it. It had become his dream to escape McKinley as soon as he first walked into the building. "It feels like I have."

* * *

The second Kurt and Sebastian walked into the choir room, Santana started yelling at Kurt.

"Oh, good to know you're alive, Kurt. Where the hell did you go during lunch? I swear to God, you better have brought back a new member or I will go-"

"I did, Santana," Kurt interrupted. "Everyone, this is Sebastian Smythe, and- what happened to you guys?" he asked, noticing how everyone was covered in stains.

"They threw fruit at us, Kurt," Rachel whined.

"Looks like you dodged a bullet," Sebastian muttered.

Kurt nodded and took a seat beside Blaine, who was still acting moody. "What's wrong?" Kurt murmured, squeezing Blaine's hand.

"You left right in the middle of _my_ performance."

Kurt fought back the urge to remind Blaine that it wasn't _his_ performance, it was a group song.

"I'm sorry," Kurt lied. He was actually happy that he left; it seemed like he was the only one who found a new member.

At that moment, Miss Pillsbury ran into the room, looking terrified. At first, Kurt assumed that it was because of the mess on the floor. But then, she said, "Kurt, Finn, your mother wants to see you both in Figgins' office. Fetch your things, please."

Kurt slowly picked up his bag and walked over to Miss Pillsbury with Finn.

* * *

Inside Principal Figgins' office was Carole. It was obvious that she had been crying.

"Mom? What's wrong?" Finn asked, embracing his mother.

"I- It's Burt," she stammered and turned to look at Kurt, "I- I'm sorry, Kurt. He's gone."

Kurt didn't say anything. He looked at the floor, shuffling his feet. _No_ , he thought. _She's wrong_. Kurt had just seen his father this morning- he looked fine; healthy. He had told Kurt how much he loved him, given him a hug, and then went to work. His father couldn't be dead. "No."

"Oh, honey," Carole said, shaking her head at Kurt. "I'm sorry."

"No," Kurt repeated.

Finn tried to hug him, but Kurt shoved him away. "Kurt," Finn said. "It's going to be okay."

"No," Kurt repeated. "Finn, you promised."

Finn sighed. "I- I know I did, Kurt. I'm sorry-"

"You promised this wouldn't happen!" he yelled. He covered his mouth with his hand and gasped. "I- I'm sorry, I know..."

"It's okay," Finn said softly.

"No... I-" Kurt sobbed then, and let the tears fall down his face. "He can't be gone."

"Sweetie, why don't we take you home?" Carole said, gently taking Kurt's hand.

Kurt didn't move until Finn put his hand on his back, leading him out of the room.

* * *

Glee club was nearly over and Kurt and Finn still hadn't returned. Blaine was starting to get annoyed. By now, Kurt normally would have texted Blaine about what was going on; he never kept anything from Blaine. 

"Does anyone have any idea what's going on with Kurt and Finn?" Santana asked. Mr Shue had refused to start the lesson until they were all there so she was starting to get bored.

"I'm gonna call Kurt and see what's taking them so long," Blaine said, pulling out his phone. He dialled the number, and it took 3 rings until Kurt picked up. "Kurt?"

" _Um, hey._ "

"Where are you guys?"

" _Home_."

"What? Home? Why?" Kurt had left without him? 

" _M- My dad... died_."

"Oh my God- are you okay?" Blaine felt horrible; he had assumed the worst about Kurt.

" _Not really, can I go, please?_ " Kurt sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

"O- Of course, I hope you feel better. Bye."

Kurt hung up without saying anything else. 

"What happened?" Rachel asked, and Blaine realised that everyone was looking at him. 

"Um, Kurt's dad died."

"Oh my God!" everyone gasped. 

Rachel pulled out her phone but Blaine stopped her. "He wants to be alone right now. Maybe call him tomorrow."

"Are you going to see him later?" Rachel asked, pouting slightly.

"No," Blaine lied.

* * *

As soon as Kurt got home, he ran straight upstairs to his room. He collapsed onto his bed and screamed into his pillow. No one followed him upstairs; Finn and Carole understood that he needed his space.

He screamed and yelled and cried into his pillow for about half an hour, then his phone rang. He considered leaving it, but a small part of him hoped that it might be his dad. 

It wasn't.

" _Kurt?_ "

"Um, hey," Kurt croaked out. His throat was sore from all the screaming.

" _Where are you guys?_ " Blaine asked. Kurt detected a slight hint of annoyance to his tone.

"Home."

" _What? Home? Why?_ " 

Kurt sighed. He wasn't ready to say it; saying it meant admitting it. "M- My dad... died." _And I'm never going to get to see him again and I hate myself for not spending more time with him while I could_.

" _Oh my God- are you okay?_ "

Kurt suppressed a sob. He needed to get a hold of himself. "Not really, can I go, please?"

" _O- Of course, I hope you feel better. Bye._ "

Kurt hung up without saying another word. He held his phone in his hand, just staring at it. It vibrated, telling him that he had a text message.

He didn't bother to read it. He knew what it would be; someone expressing their sympathy over his father. 

Suddenly, the wall seemed a really good target. He threw his phone at it, hearing a satisfying smash.

* * *

Finn sat down in the chair, smiling as his mom handed him a drink.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Carole asked, sitting beside her son.

"I- I don't know," Finn said. "I don't think it's hit me, yet."

"Me neither."

"I'm worried about Kurt."

"Me too. Do you want to take a drink or something up for him? He's been up there a while."

"Maybe. I'm _really_ worried about him, Mom."

"I know you are, honey." Carole patted his arm.

"What's going to happen to him now? I don't want him to stop being my brother."

"He won't, Finn. Go see him; he needs someone right now."

"Okay."

Finn walked slowly upstairs. He wasn't sure why, but he wanted to avoid seeing Kurt as long as he could. He wasn't sure what he would see in Kurt's room or the state that Kurt would be in.

He knocked apprehensively on Kurt's door but didn't receive an answer.

"Kurt, can I come in?"

"Yeah," a small voice said from inside.

As Finn opened the door and walked into the room, he accidentally kicked something. He looked down and saw Kurt's phone. "Uh," he picked it up and looked at the screen, "it's a bit cracked."

"I don't care," Kurt whispered.

Finn sighed and sat down on Kurt's bed. "What's up?"

"Well, I don't know if you heard, but my dad died a few hours ago," Kurt muttered.

"You know what I meant, Kurt."

"I miss him, and the stupid thing is, I haven't gone longer without seeing him than I would have on a normal day. It sucks that I won't get to see him again or tell him how much I love him," Kurt's face crumpled, "I'll just miss him so much."

"I know you will, buddy."

"He called me buddy," Kurt cried.

"Oh God, Kurt, I'm so sorry..."

"He used to call me Kurt, too."

"That's because it's your name." Finn put his arms around Kurt and held him tightly.

"I wish I could have said goodbye to him."

* * *

"Hey, hey, hey! Guess who's going to make your day a whole lot better!"

Kurt looked up from his pillow to see Blaine in the doorway, grinning. "Read the room, Blaine," he muttered.

Blaine sighed. "I'm just trying to make you feel better."

"Not possible."

"What about if I kiss you?"

"Look, I appreciate the effort, but I really just want to be alone right now. There's nothing you can do to make me feel better."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." Blaine pulled a DVD out of his bag. "How about we watch _Legally Blonde_ and cuddle?"

Kurt patted the empty spot on the bed next to him. He really didn't want Blaine there but it was sweet that his boyfriend was putting in an effort. "Just for a little while."

Blaine smiled and jumped on the bed, laying down beside Kurt. "It'll get easier, you know."

 _It's been 9 years since my mom died and I'm still not over it so I doubt it_ , Kurt thought. But aloud he said, "I know it will. Especially if I have you beside me."


	5. Welcome Back To Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine tries his best to comfort Kurt after the loss of his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW-  
> \- Slight non-con

When Blaine first heard about Burt’s passing, he was shocked. Then he was upset. Then he was thankful. 

The way he saw it, it gave him the opportunity to be the perfect boyfriend to Kurt. He could look after him, comfort him, be a shoulder for him to cry on.

It would help Blaine feel better about the cheating.

But it ended up backfiring. 

Blaine thought that after the funeral, Kurt would get a little better. But it had been weeks now and Kurt was still moping about and barely talking to him. It was starting to annoy Blaine; he knew that Kurt was grieving, but it wouldn’t kill his boyfriend to meet him halfway.

“Do you want to go somewhere?” Blaine asked, stroking Kurt’s hair.

“Not really.”

“Come on, Kurt, you haven’t left the house in 3 weeks.”

“I’m going back to school on Wednesday. I’ll leave the house then.”

“Wouldn’t it be good for you to get out? Prepare yourself?”

“Blaine, please.”

Blaine sighed. “Okay, well, if we’re not going to go out, then we can at least have some fun here.”

“What do y-“

Before Kurt could finish his sentence, Blaine was forcing his lips onto Kurt’s. He slid his hand down to Kurt’s thigh and pushed himself on top of Kurt.

“Blaine, get off,” Kurt said.

Blaine ignored him and kept kissing Kurt. Kurt groaned and shoved Blaine off of him roughly.

“What the hell, Kurt?” Blaine grunted.

“I asked you to stop.”

“I’m your boyfriend!”

“And that doesn’t give you the right to touch me without consent.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

* * *

The first day back at school felt like it lasted a year. Everyone had heard about Kurt’s dad, so the entire day was spent with people either giving their condolences or teasing him about it. Kurt preferred the teasing.

The truth was, he hated when people felt sorry for him. It reminded him of how serious the situation was and everything that he had lost. All-day he was close to tears.

Lunch was hard, too. The New Directions acted awkward around him; either talking to him too much or not at all, being picky about the conversations they had, giving him quick looks.

Kurt put his drink down. “Guys, no offence, but you’re all kind of freaking me out.”

Tina looked at him sympathetically. “Kurt, we don’t want to upset you or anything-“

“Go ahead! Upset me. I don’t care. I just want things to go back to normal.”

“It’s only been like a month since it all happened, Kurt,” Mercedes said. “You still need time.”

“It’ll be easier if you just act as nothing happened.”

Sebastian smiled. “Guys, I think we should respect what Kurt wants.”

“Thanks, Sebastian,” Kurt said. He noticed that Sebastian and Santana were sitting together- the two of them had apparently gotten a lot closer.

Kurt and Blaine had gotten the opposite. Kurt had purposely made himself late to lunch so he could make sure he was sitting far away from his boyfriend. He was still tense about the situation from a few days ago, and he needed time before he could sit beside Blaine again. 

He needed time before he could _trust_ Blaine again.

* * *

French was a lot easier than Kurt had anticipated. It was the last class of the day, so by that point, no one had anything to say to him. 

He spent the entire time talking to Sebastian, who never brought up his father. He was grateful for that. 

“So, I was wondering,” Sebastian said, “would you wanna go shopping again? You have great style and I need a suit.”

Kurt smiled. It had been the first time that someone had treated him like he was a normal person since his dad died. “Sure, I’ll ask Blaine later. What do you need a suit for?”

“My dad’s throwing one of his stupid party things in a few months. They’re so boring; I’ll be lucky if I survive the thing. Oh God, I didn’t-“ Sebastian gasped at what he said.

“Don’t, Seb. It’s fine, don’t worry. And yeah, I’ll help you pick a suit.”

The topic wasn’t brought up again for the rest of the class until Sebastian said, as they were packing up, “Um, could we maybe not invite Blaine?”

“What? Why?” Kurt frowned. He couldn’t go shopping with a guy twice without his boyfriend; that was crossing some sort of line.

“I- It’s just- You were gone for so long... he started to act weird.”

“Weird how?”

Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck. “He started hitting on me.”

“Hitting on you?” Kurt laughed, but deep down, he felt a stab of pain. 

“Yeah, like he was-“

“No, no, Sebastian, don’t,” Kurt interrupted. He didn’t need to hear it. “I’m sure you were just misunderstanding him. He- He wouldn’t ever feel that way about you. I’m sorry.”

Sebastian stared at Kurt until he understood. “Oh, Kurt. You misunderstood. I- I’m not interested in Blaine that way. I... I think he might be interested in _me_ that way.”

Kurt shook his head and glared at Sebastian. As he swung his bag over his shoulder, he said, “Forget about shopping, okay? I’m back now, and there’s no way in hell you’re getting between Blaine and me,” and left the room.

Sebastian stood there for a while. “Well, that didn’t go to plan at all,” he said eventually.

* * *

Glee was the worst part of the day for Kurt. Since no one except for Sebastian had gotten the hint about dropping the subject of his dad, Kurt had no choice but to sit next to him. 

Things were still tense between them despite Sebastian’s attempt to clear the air.

“Look, I’m sorry if I crossed a line or something earlier,” he whispered while Mr Shue was giving them a pointless assignment.

“Just drop it, Sebastian. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Don’t push me away, Kurt,” Sebastian continued. “That’s the last thing you need right now.”

At first, Kurt was furious at the comment. After all, who was Sebastian to tell him what he did and didn’t need? But when he was about to snap at Sebastian, Kurt realised that Sebastian was right. Kurt needed all the friends he could get at that moment, not to make new enemies. “We’ll talk about it later, okay?” he said softly. Sebastian nodded in reply.

* * *

The second that Mr Shue dismissed them, Blaine sprinted over to Kurt and snaked his arm around his boyfriend’s waist. Kurt immediately tensed; he still wasn’t comfortable with intimate contact with Blaine. 

“Ready to go?” Blaine asked, pulling Kurt slightly towards the door.

“Um, actually, I need to talk to Sebastian,“ Kurt said, pointing to the aforementioned boy, who was just exiting the choir room. Despite them having agreed to talk after the club, Sebastian had left as soon as he saw Blaine approaching.

“I think that what you do need is a good old cuddle-time with me.”

Kurt cringed at the phrase ‘cuddle-time.’ “Can we meet later? It’s really important.”

“It can wait. What can’t wait is me going back to your house.” Blaine put his lips close to Kurt’s ear. “To your bedroom.”

Kurt shoved Blaine away. “For the last time, Blaine,” he yelled and was thankful that they were the only ones left in the room, “I’m not ready to have sex with you. And the longer that you push me, the longer it will be until I _am_! So, drop it!”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “I have been nothing but a good boyfriend to you for months! I have waited and waited and you’re telling me that you’re still not ready? After everything that I’ve done for you! I deserve this, Kurt!”

“You don’t _deserve_ anything and I certainly don’t _owe_ you anything. Sex isn’t a reward for good behaviour, Blaine. It’s something that is supposed to be intimate and special, or at the very least, something between two people who are _both_ ready for it! And if you’ve just been nice to me so you can have sex, then get the hell out of my life, because you’re not getting anything. I’m going to talk to Sebastian; see you later.”

* * *

By the time Kurt reached the parking lot, he found that Sebastian’s way-too-fancy-for-public-school-grounds-car was gone. He sighed and leaned against his own Navigator. It seemed like nothing could go right for him today.

He was tempted to pull out his phone, get Sebastian’s address, and drive up to Westerville and see him in person, but he really couldn’t be bothered. Plus, Carole would freak if Kurt didn’t go straight home.

He got into his Navigator, slamming the door a little too harshly in the process, and began the long drive home. It wasn’t long distance-wise but Kurt had discovered over the years that the more you longed to be somewhere, the longer it felt to get there.

He used the time to wonder about what had been going on with Blaine. It seemed that ever since the summer, his boyfriend had become more and more desperate to have sex. 

Then he thought about what Sebastian had said. If what he said was true, and Blaine had been hitting on Sebastian, did that mean that Blaine had become so desperate for sex that he was willing to cheat to get it?

Or maybe Sebastian had just misunderstood Blaine.

Kurt shook his head, trying to get the thoughts to leave.

His first priority was to get home safely.

* * *

Kurt ignored both Finn and Carole when he walked into the house. One look at his face would tell anyone that he wasn’t okay and he didn’t need their sympathy. 

He knew that they both gave him a strange look but brushed past it. The sooner he could take a nap, the better.

“Um, buddy, can we talk to you for a sec?” Finn asked.

Kurt sighed. _So much for relaxing_ , he thought. As he turned around, he put a fake smile on his face. “Sure, what’s up?”

“How was your first day back?” Carole inquired, speaking slowly. 

“Fine.”

“Are you sure?” Finn cut in. “You seemed really tense all day.”

“Just tired.”

“Are you sure you don’t want a few more days off?” Carole offered, but Kurt shook his head.

“It’s fine, really. Could I, uh, go upstairs? As I said, I’m really tired.”

Carole nodded and Kurt sighed in relief. 

* * *

The nap was the best part about Kurt’s day, he decided. It allowed him to forget about all of his problems, all the pain, and all the questions that had been weighing him down all day. 

That was why Kurt was so grumpy when he was woken up by Carole, asking him if he wanted dinner.

“I’m fine,” Kurt muttered, rolling back over so he didn’t have to see his step-mother. She was too much of a reminder of his dad.

“Your brother said you didn’t eat much at lunch, Kurt. You should come downstairs-“

“I said I’m fine,” Kurt repeated, more forcefully.

“Kurt, you need to-“

“I said I’m fine!” Kurt snapped, pulling the pillow over his face.

He didn’t know if Carole said anything else, but when he pulled the pillow off, she was gone.

Kurt felt bad; in fact, bad was an understatement. He knew that he had overreacted, especially since Carole had only been looking out for him. She had been going through a lot as well and Kurt hadn’t been the nicest to her.

He didn’t know where all the anger was coming from, but from snapping at Sebastian, yelling at Blaine, and being rude to Carole, he knew he had a lot to make up for.

* * *

He started by going downstairs to apologise to Carole. When he walked into the kitchen, he was overcome by guilt. She was facing away from him but he could see right away that she was crying.

“Carole?” he said softly. She immediately turned around, faking a smile just like he had earlier.

“Hi, honey. Is everything okay?” she asked, sniffing.

“I- I’m sorry about what I said earlier...”

“Aw, you don’t have to apologise. It’s normal that you’re going to be short-tempered, Kurt. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I had no reason to get at you like that, you were just looking out for me. I’m sorry.”

“Come here.” She embraced him in a hug, then whispered, “It’s okay. I forgive you.”

“You do?”

“Of course. What kind of mother would I be if I held grudges, especially over silly things like that?”

Kurt smiled, letting a tear slide down his cheek. “Thank you,” he said.

* * *

The next person with who Kurt made amends was Sebastian. He couldn’t really apologise in person, so he chose the next best method: a phone call.

“Hello?” he said, unsure whether Sebastian had picked up or not. 

“ _Kurt?_ ”

“Sebastian?”

“ _Yeah_ ,” Sebastian said. “ _What’s up?_ ”

“I wanted to apologise, f- for what I said earlier. I had no reason to get at you like that. I’m sorry.”

Sebastian chuckled softly. “ _It’s okay. I shouldn’t have sprung it on you like that; it wasn’t fair. Besides, I think you were right; I probably exaggerated it in my head. But I promise that I’m not into Blaine that way._ ”

“I- Thank you. Um, could you tell me how Blaine did ‘hit on’ you, please?” Kurt asked, picking at the hem of his shirt.

“ _I think we should save that for another day. You should probably get some rest or something_.”

“Okay. Good night,” Kurt said, despite the fact that he had no intention to sleep. It was 10 P.M., and after his nap from earlier, he had more than enough energy to keep himself going for a little while longer. Plus, he still had to talk to Blaine.

“ _Good night, Kurt_.”

* * *

The phone call with Blaine didn’t go that well. First of all, Blaine was still demanding that he was right and was refusing to compromise. He said that as Kurt’s boyfriend, he had every right to want sex. Then, he had rejected Kurt’s apology, claiming that if Kurt was truly sorry, he would make an effort to show it.

Kurt sighed, throwing his phone on the bed in frustration. He knew what Blaine meant by ‘make an effort’ but he was too tired to drive all the way to Westerville at 10:30 P.M. But he didn’t want to fight with Blaine...

He went downstairs again to sneak out, but Carole was still in the living room.

“You should go to bed, Kurt,” she said. “You have school in the morning.”

“Yeah, I just,” he quickly thought of an excuse, “wanted to get a snack. You were right; I should eat something.”

Carole smiled. “There’s some leftover lasagna in the fridge.”

“Thank you,” Kurt said. He ate it slowly, trying to outstay Carole downstairs. Much to his displeasure, she didn’t go up to bed until Kurt did.

He would have to find another way out. 

“Good night, Kurt,” Carole said, making her way to the empty bedroom. Kurt wondered if it was lonely in there for her and briefly considered buying her a body pillow. 

“Night, Carole.”

He waited in the hallway for 10 minutes until he heard soft snoring from her bedroom. He crept downstairs and grabbed his keys from on top of the cabinet, his muscles hurting from all of the stretching that he had to do. He knew he couldn’t risk going out of the front door so he went back up to his bedroom.

He had never climbed out of his window before, not even in daylight, so it took a long time for him to shuffle towards the end of the roof. It took him 5 minutes to get enough nerve to jump down off the roof and onto the ground. 

He got into his car, shaking. _Am I really doing this_ , he thought. _Would Blaine do this for me?_ He cursed when he realised that he forgot his phone, meaning that he couldn’t give Blaine a heads up that he was there.

Knowing that it was too late to turn back, he shrugged and got into his car. It was quarter to midnight and he wanted to be home by 4:30 at the earliest.

It was a long drive to Westerville. It seemed that no matter how many times Kurt made the journey, it never got faster. 

* * *

Kurt eventually pulled into the street a bit away from Blaine’s house. He knew that if he parked in Blaine’s drive he would risk his boyfriend’s parents catching him.

He ran until he reached Blaine’s back garden and stared up. Blaine’s bedroom was on the second floor, but each floor was really high. Looking around the garden, he spotted a ladder. He sighed in relief and grabbed it, resting it just below Blaine’s window. 

After climbing up, he knocked on the window and waited for Blaine to open it so he could climb in. Blaine was a light sleeper; it didn’t take much to wake him up. After a few minutes of no answer, he knocked again, and this time hissed, “Blaine, it’s Kurt. Open up.”

This time, Blaine pulled back the curtains but didn’t open the window. Kurt frowned; it was freezing outside and he was only dressed in a thin ‘ **McKinley Titans** ’ shirt that used to belong to Finn. 

“What the hell are you doing here, Kurt? It’s 2 A.M., for God’s Sake!” Blaine yelled, clearly not having the same concern as Kurt did for his parents.

“I- I was making an effort to make you forgive me like you asked me to!” 

“Are you out of your mind? I meant serenade me in Glee or something, not wake me up in the middle of the night,” Blaine scoffed.

“Are you kidding me? Can you not appreciate a single thing I do for you,” Kurt shouted. “Now can you _please_ let me inside, I’m freezing!”

Blaine rolled his eyes but unlocked the window anyway. Kurt pushed it open and jumped inside.

“So, are you going to apologise?” Blaine snarled, crossing his arms as he sized Kurt up.

“I’m sorry,” Kurt whispered.

“I can’t hear you.”

“I’m sorry!” Kurt hissed, still wanting to keep his voice down.

“Sorry for what?” 

“For yelling at you.”

“Yelling at me _for no reason_ ,” Blaine corrected.

“It wasn’t for no reason.”

“You yelled at me because I wanted to have sex. That is a normal need, Kurt, and you’re playing me off to be some villain!”

“I yelled at you because you were pressuring me, and if you do it one more time, then we’re over!” Kurt screamed, his voice trembling.

Blaine smirked, then chuckled. “Then I guess we're over,” he said. “You can see yourself out.”

“Blaine, I- I’m sorry. I don’t want to break up.”

“You clearly do, Kurt. Because if you loved me, you wouldn’t put me through this.”

“I do love you, so much,” Kurt tried to put his arms around Blaine but the other boy pushed him away.

“Don’t lie to me, Kurt. You’ve put me through enough.”

Kurt wiped the tears away, not looking at Blaine. He slowly made his way over to the window and climbed back out. 

When he was safely back in his car, he let himself go. “How could I do that to him?” Kurt cried, slamming his hands on the dashboard. “How could I do that to him?”


	6. How To Summarise Your Feelings? It’s simple. You can’t.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt tries to make things right with Blaine. Sebastian comes to a realisation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW-  
> \- Outing / Santana’s coming out story rewritten.

The entire drive home, Kurt took deep breaths and tried to calm himself down. He didn’t make it back until 20 to 5, so when Carole caught him sneaking back inside, he lied and said that he couldn’t sleep so he went for a walk to clear his head.

“Have you been crying?” Carole asked, despite the fact that it was obvious Kurt had.

“Um... it’s just been a long night,” Kurt muttered, avoiding the question.

“Sweetie, go back to bed. You don’t have to go to school tomorrow.”

“I am,” Kurt said. “I have to.” He really didn’t want to but he couldn’t back out. 

“Okay, just get some sleep,” Carole said, clearly not in the mood to argue. She walked back up the stairs, not checking that Kurt was following her.

Kurt sighed and took a seat on the barstool, putting his head in his hands. 

How had everything gone so wrong? He’d somehow lost 2 of the most important people in his life in less than a month. 

He closed his eyes, trying to block everything out.

* * *

“ _Mom? Do you know where Kurt is? He’s not in his room_.”

“ _He fell asleep downstairs_.”

“ _Should I wake him up?_ ”

“ _I’m going to give him a bit longer. You go get ready for school, Finn._ ”

“ _Okay_.”

Kurt cracked his eyes open and groaned, blinded by the sunlight. Carole turned around, looking surprised. “Sweetie, go back to sleep. You’re not going to school today.”

Kurt looked around, noticing that he was on the couch. “I thought... counter,” he slurred, letting his head drop back down.

“I moved you onto the couch,” Carole said. “You shouldn’t fall asleep down here, Kurt. It’s not good for your back.”

“It was an accident,” Kurt replied, once again trying to sit up. The memories of what happened that morning hit him like a train. _Right_ , he thought, _Blaine and I broke up_.

“I should’ve made sure that you came back upstairs,” she said. “It’s my fault.”

“No, no,” Kurt groaned. “Don’t blame yourself.” He started to make his way back upstairs, but Carole stopped him.

“Where are you going?”

“To get ready for school.”

“You’re not going, Kurt. You look half-dead.”

“Geez, thanks.” Kurt rolled his eyes. He felt half-dead. “I have to go, Carole. If I keep having days off, I’ll never get back into a routine.”

“Honey, just one day. You’ll pass out.”

Finn walked down the stairs but stopped halfway down upon seeing his mom and brother. “What’s going on?” 

“Finn, tell your mom that I’m going to school,” Kurt demanded, slightly annoyed. Carole wasn’t his mother, she couldn’t tell him what to do.

“Dude, you know I support you and all, but you look like hell.”

“Well, I’m just drowning in compliments today,” Kurt deadpanned.

“I’m being serious, Kurt. You haven’t seen yourself. You should get some sleep.”

Kurt gently pushed past Carole and said, “I’m going to school. I- I...” he bit back the tears. “I need to see Blaine.”

Carole looked at Finn in defeat and her son just shrugged in reply. “Okay,” she said, “but if you need to, come home at lunch. And I don’t want you stopping behind for Glee.”

“Deal.”

* * *

Blaine felt awful when he saw Kurt. His ex-boyfriend looked horrible. In fact, horrible was an understatement. His hair was a mess, he had deep purple eye bags, he was dressed in a simple hoodie and jeans, and he looked like he hadn’t even done his skincare routine. 

He hated the fact that he had caused this. He needed to fix it.

Blaine saw Kurt opening his locker and randomly shoving books inside. He took a deep breath and approached his ex, clearing his throat.

Kurt sighed, not turning around. “Rachel, I really don’t want to talk right-“

“Kurt...”

Kurt turned around then, a crestfallen expression on his face. “B- Blaine.”

“Can we talk in private please?”

Kurt rubbed the back of his neck but nodded. 

Blaine pulled him into the first empty classroom he saw and sat on the table. “I think that things got a little bit out of hand last night.” Kurt didn’t say anything, so Blaine continued talking. “You were right; I don’t appreciate anything you do. You’ve done so much for me, Kurt. And things got so crazy last night... you were also right. I shouldn’t pressure you to have sex. It’s just... I love you so much and I want to take things to the next level and I got so caught up in how much I wanted to be with you that I got out of control.”

Kurt looked at the ground for a minute and Blaine waited patiently for him to say something. “Blaine, I- I don’t even know what to say.”

“I love you, Kurt. And I’m sorry that I broke up with you. Can we get back together?”

“Blaine... I would love that, but- but I need you to understand that I’m not ready to have sex. And if you can’t accept that, and if you won’t stop making moves on me when I make it clear I don’t want it, then it’s over for good.”

Blaine sighed. He wanted sex with Kurt but he wanted Kurt more. Besides, if worst came to worst, he could just hook up with guys at Scandals. “I understand, Kurt. I promise I won’t try anything like that again.”

Kurt’s eyes lit up. “Really? So, can we get back together then?”

“Yes, yes!”

Kurt grinned then ran into Blaine’s arms. They kissed and Kurt was more passionate than he had ever been before. He looked at Blaine with lustful eyes. “I’m ready.”

“A- Are you sure?” Blaine couldn’t keep the grin off his face. It was happening!

“Yes, yes, God, yes! Blaine, I want this.”

“Okay, okay. My place after school?”

“Yes!”

“This is happening?”

“Yes! Blaine! Yes!”

“God, I love you so much,” Blaine said softly.

“I love you too. I’m so lucky.”

“Mm, you better go to the nurse's office though.”

“What?” Kurt narrowed his eyes.

“Honey, you look exhausted. Go lay down for a while; you’ll make yourself sick.”

Kurt sighed. “Okay.” He reluctantly pulled himself away from Blaine and left the room, his head pounding. 

As he walked out of the door, he saw Santana stood there, her face a mix of anger and shock. 

“Santana.” Kurt gasped. “Um, did- did you hear any of that?”

“Nope,” Santana said, smiling too sweetly. “Not a single thing.”

* * *

Santana watched as Kurt walked towards the nurse's office, still smiling. She had heard every word. Once Kurt was gone, she stormed into the classroom. 

“Okay, listen here, Hobbit,” she lectured, pointing her finger in Blaine’s face. “I heard every single idiotic thing you just said and let me tell you this: you are messed up. Kurt is in a very vulnerable state right now, and you took advantage of that. If Kurt was thinking straight- actually, let me rephrase that, thinking _clearly_ \- he would have dumped you so hard. And from what I hear, you’ve been putting the moves on him just after his dad _died_. And I’m all for sex, but have some respect for God’s Sake. And then you broke up with him when he’s sensitive. Have you not seen him? He’s not even ready to come back to school yet, and here you are, breaking his heart. I had my eye on you the second I met you. And the girls and I agree: you shouldn’t be with Kurt. After all, you would’ve thought that the one person he would want right now would be his boyfriend but it seems like he’s avoiding you like you have the plague. So I’m going to tell you this once- and _only_ once- either get your act together and treat Kurt right or face the severe consequences,” she ranted.

“Oh, Santana,” Blaine drawled, tilting his head to the side. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with here. Kurt loves me and he won’t leave me no matter what.”

“You tread carefully, Anderson, or I will-“

“You’ll what?” Blaine laughed. “Besides, don’t you have somewhere better to be? Like, oh, I don’t know, the closet?”

Santana’s heart dropped. “I... how do you... don’t tell anyone!” she begged, suddenly forgetting all about Kurt.

“Don’t worry, Santana, I won’t. But just remember who you’re talking to before you try and mess up my relationship again. Have a good day,” he sang, strutting out of the room.

* * *

Kurt ended up being sent home by the nurse before first period. He sent Blaine a quick text notifying him and then sent one to Sebastian to tell him that he wouldn’t be in French. 

Carole was happy that Kurt was home so that he could rest properly but she had to go to work, meaning that she couldn’t look after him.

“Just look after yourself, okay?” she said as she was walking out of the door. “There’s food in the fridge, you can watch TV, or go to sleep, or... you know what, you know all this. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” Kurt muttered. “Bye.” He wasn’t in the mood to be pleasant. He couldn’t even make it through one day of school- how the hell was he going to graduate? He wasn’t too far behind; he had a friend in every class who helped him keep up to date and yesterday he had received catch-up work from all his teachers. 

He sighed, deciding to do some of the homework, and then maybe take a nap.

Kurt didn’t know how he felt. It was a mix of emotions, but the one that he felt suited him the most was broken. He couldn’t do anything right, he was empty, he missed his dad and Blaine, and no one understood him. He just wanted to be whole again.

He found his phone in his bag while looking for the homework and decided to check it. He found that he had 2 texts, both of which were replying to his texts from earlier.

** Blaine: Ok  **

Kurt smiled at the text. At least Blaine wasn’t mad at him for leaving. The second text was from Sebastian.

** Sebastian: Hope you feel better soon. Let me know if you need anything. **

Kurt’s smile faltered slightly. He felt horrible. Not only had he left Sebastian alone in French for weeks, but the one time that he was back he snapped at him.

Kurt decided then that he would keep perfect attendance for the rest of the year for 3 reasons: to keep his perfect grades, to keep Sebastian company, and to make sure that Blaine didn’t ‘hit on’ anyone else.

He was just about to start working when he received another text from Blaine.

** Blaine: Should I come round to yours after school then so we can have fun ;) I’ll skip glee  **

Kurt pondered over the text. He was torn; he didn’t want to hurt Blaine but he had promised that they could have sex in the heat of the moment. He didn’t feel it anymore. 

** Kurt: Sure **

He hoped that math would distract him enough.

* * *

Blaine knocked on Kurt’s door excitedly. He wondered if sex with Kurt would be as good as it was with Sebastian or the other two random guys he had done it with. 

Kurt opened the door, looking slightly better, but he didn’t have a smile on his face.

“Shall we go to your bedroom?” Blaine asked, letting himself in.

“Sure,” Kurt said, his voice monotone.

Blaine practically pushed Kurt upstairs and onto his bed, barely hesitating to kiss him. Kurt relaxed into it, enjoying the sweet make-out session. He froze when Blaine’s lips moved down to his neck, where he roughly bit at the sensitive skin. 

“Blaine! Stop,” Kurt said, moving his head away.

“Why?” 

“It hurts.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Fine, take your shirt off then.”

“You take yours off!”

“Fine!” The second Kurt saw a glimpse of Blaine’s chest, he covered his eyes. 

“Don’t!”

“Oh my God, Kurt, if you can’t handle this then we’re screwed. Do you even want this?”

“I- I don’t think so,” Kurt whispered, moving away from Blaine.

“Then why did you-“

“I’m sorry!”

“Are you trying to lead me on? Promising sex so I won’t leave you?”

“No... I thought I wanted this but... I’m sorry.”

“Whatever, I’m going home,” Blaine scoffed. “And this time, don’t come knocking on my window at 2 in the morning.”

Kurt didn’t stop Blaine from leaving. For some reason, he was glad that he was gone.

* * *

Kurt went back to school the next day feeling more confident. After a hot shower, a good night of sleep, and choosing a fashionable outfit, he was more than ready to face the day.

By now, most of the random kids had stopped talking about his dad. 

But Santana wasn’t feeling as good.

Apparently, someone had overheard her and Blaine’s conversation yesterday (at the very least, the part where Blaine accused her of being in the closet and her admitting it), and long story short, everyone knew.

Kurt felt awful for her, so he decided to pay her a visit. Brittany had told him that she was in the janitors closet, crying.

Kurt knocked on the door and whispered, “It’s Kurt.” The door opened and Kurt was pulled in, and before he could even blink, he was face to face with Santana.

“Santana, are you-“

“Kurt, we’ll get to that later. I need to talk to you about something,” Santana interrupted.

“Shoot.”

“You need to break up with Blaine.”

Kurt would’ve laughed, but one look at Santana’s face told him that she wasn’t joking. “Why?”

“He’s not good for you, Kurt; he’s manipulating you so you’ll screw him.”

“He- He’s not manipulating me.”

“You don’t even see it. Tell me: why did you guys break up?”

“Because...” Kurt sighed, “because I wouldn’t have sex with him.”

“And you guys got back together the next day, right?”

Kurt nodded. 

“And the second you took him back, you were agreeing to do it with him.”

Kurt hung his head and nodded again.

“Kurt, he played you.”

“N- No, he didn’t. I backed out last minute.”

“Oh, yeah. Bet he took that well.”

“He didn’t...”

“You have to get out of this, Kurt. It’s not a good relationship, believe me; I’ve had enough of them.”

Kurt let himself cry a little. “I need him...” he whispered.

“Why? Because if you don’t have a boyfriend that means your life is over?”

“Because everything else in my life is a mess, Santana! I’ve lost everything and I can’t lose Blaine too. I just need him to keep _something_ in my life normal. I know that he’s not good for me and I know our relationship isn’t healthy, but when I thought for just _one night_ that I’d lost him for good, I almost lost it. So I need him, okay? Because I don’t trust myself without him.”

Santana didn’t say anything, she just embraced her friend and patted his back. 

“I need him,” Kurt whispered, but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Santana.

“Okay,” she said, just as quietly.

Kurt sniffed and wiped the tears away. “How are you doing?”

“I- I’m more okay than I thought I would be. I told my parents about it; they were okay. It’s just the guys at school- I- I’ve never been treated like...”

“Like me?”

“Yeah, no offence.”

Kurt sighed. “None taken. But speaking of Blaine, we have a little something we need to give you.”

“It doesn’t involve me having to listen to Blaine’s flatter-than-Rachel’s-chest singing, does it?”

Kurt cringed. “I’m sorry, not my idea.”

Santana took his hand. “It’s okay. Thank you, for everything.”

“Thank _you_ , for looking out for me.”

* * *

Sebastian felt jealous. He wasn’t sure why; after all, all he was doing was watching Kurt and Blaine sing _Perfect_ to Santana.

He knew straight away that it wasn’t the Santana part of the equation that was making him feel this way.

After a few more seconds of watching the scene, he figured out that it also wasn’t Blaine- at least, not Blaine personally. His feelings- if you could even call them that- for the guy had long since gone.

Maybe it was Kurt? He and Kurt had grown close since first meeting and there was definitely something between them that could be classed as more-than-friendship. But Kurt had a boyfriend. And it was clear from the way they were holding each other at the front that they wouldn’t be breaking up anytime soon.

That was when it hit Sebastian. He was jealous of Kurt and Blaine’s relationship. The way they harmonised, how they could hold each other so fondly, and how they smiled at each other...

He wished he had someone to do that with.

But then Blaine started rapping, and all he felt was cringe.

* * *

Santana smiled after the performance, though it was only genuine when it was aimed at Kurt. 

“Thank you both so much,” Santana said, fake happiness clear in her voice. “Especially you, Blaine. After all, _none_ of this would be possible without you.”

Blaine frowned at the double meaning of her words. It wasn’t his fault; how was he supposed to know that someone was listening to them? Truth be told, a dark part of Blaine was just relieved that no one had exposed the conversation between himself and Kurt. 

“You’re welcome, Santana,” Blaine replied, just as fake. 

They both kept up their smiles until everyone in Glee had left. It was just the three of them left- Kurt, Santana, and Blaine.

“Santana, I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable,” Kurt quickly said, trying to stop his friend and boyfriend from fighting.

“Kurt, don’t apologise on behalf of your idiotic boyfriend. I want to hear him say it,” Santana scoffed.

“What do _I_ have to apologise for?” 

“You’re the one who said I was in the closet when we were talking!”

“When were you guys talking?” Kurt asked, shuffling his feet. He had always hated being in the middle of arguments.

“Doesn’t matter,” Santana said, flipping her hair. “We’ll settle this another time.” She sashayed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Kurt watched after her, a confused look on his face. He was only brought back to reality by Blaine grabbing his wrist harshly. 

“We are going back to your house,” he hissed, “and sorting this out once and for all.”


	7. Leave Your Heart With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Blaine talk things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW-  
> \- Attempted suicide, non-graphic

Kurt locked his bedroom door and turned around. Blaine was sitting on his bed.

“So,” Kurt said, unable to keep his voice from trembling, “what do mean by, ‘sorting this out once and for all?’”

“You and me. You obviously have a problem, right?” Blaine snapped.

Kurt shook his head. “I- I’m fine and we’re fine.”

“Really.” Blaine stood up and pushed Kurt against his door. Kurt let out a small gasp. “So, if I kissed you right now, you won’t push me away?”

Kurt nervously shook his head. Blaine clashed his lips with Kurt’s and it only took a few seconds until Kurt shoved Blaine back. 

“See,” Blaine said. “If we were fine, you’d be more than happy to make out with me. I could see it all over your face while we were doing that duet. So, what the hell is your problem?”

Kurt gulped, avoiding eye contact with his boyfriend. “I’m scared,” he muttered.

“You’re what?”

“I’m scared of you! I- I don’t know what happened to you over the summer, but you’re not the person that I met. You keep forcing yourself onto me and I’m terrified that you’re not going to stop...”

“Kurt, I’m just trying to cheer you up,” Blaine excused. “You’ve been so goddamn depressed lately.”

“Because my dad just died! I’m grieving.”

“You’ve been grieving for like a month, Kurt. Isn’t that long enough?”

“You’ve never lost anyone before, Blaine! You don’t know what it feels like,” Kurt shot back.

“Oh, I’m sorry, is it my fault that I’ve never had anyone close to me die?”

Kurt shook his head.

“So, is it my fault that I don’t understand how you feel?”

Kurt shook his head again.

“So, if you think about it, none of this my fault.”

“What happened to you?” Kurt snapped. “Last year, you were the sweetest boyfriend ever. And now... now I don’t even know you. You’ve just turned into this huge jerk and I don’t know why.”

Kurt wasn’t looking at him so Blaine let himself smirk. “It’s Sebastian,” he said, adding a fake sadness to his tone.

Kurt looked at him then, so Blaine changed his expression. “What?”

“While you were away, he kept hitting on me. He kept saying that our relationship was boring and that he can give me what I want. That’s why I keep trying to have sex with you, Kurt, I’m scared I’ll give in to him,” Blaine lied.

“I... Is that true?” Kurt stammered, close to tears.

“Would I lie to you?” Blaine said. 

“I can’t believe him...”

“Me either. I just wanted to keep our relationship good, but I messed up.”

“I- It’s okay,” Kurt said, wrapping his arms around Blaine. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Blaine thought for a minute before saying, “You know, I can kind of relate to you. About your dad, I mean.”

“How?”

“I feel like I’ve lost my dad. He doesn’t understand how I feel being gay, and all he does is try to make me... manlier?”

“Blaine, you haven’t _lost_ your dad. Losing him would be if he iced you out or disowned you. He’s still spending time with you, even if it’s on things like cars. He doesn’t know anything else.”

Blaine nodded. “Y- You think I should talk to him? Maybe we could find something in common.”

“Yeah, it’d be good if you could have a bond with him.”

“Great!” Blaine pulled away from Kurt and grabbed the door handle.

“Wait, you’re going now?” Kurt asked.

“Yeah, I’ll call you later,” Blaine said and left Kurt’s room.

_ Please don’t leave me alone _ , Kurt wanted to say, but instead, he just slammed the door shut.

* * *

Kurt slid down his wall, crying. His dad was gone. Blaine was gone. And now he’d lost Sebastian too, apparently. Sebastian- the only person who had been fully supportive of him since his dad’s passing. Sebastian- the person who Kurt considered to be his best friend. Sebastian- the person with who Kurt had more in common than he did with his own boyfriend. Sebastian- the person who had stabbed Kurt in the back.

Kurt sobbed loudly, not caring that Carole and Finn could probably hear him. He felt the trash can next to him and threw it across the room, scattering the trash everywhere. The trash can hit the wall, making a loud crash.

“ _Kurt?_ ” Finn yelled from the next room, obviously hearing the noise. “ _I’m coming in!_ ”

“No, don’t-“

It was too late, Finn had already burst into the room and looked around in disbelief. “Dude, are you okay? What happened?”

“I- I...” Kurt shook his head. “I just had a bad day, that’s all.”

“You look a mess.”

“You really can’t stop complimenting me, can you?” Kurt said, his words dripping with sarcasm.

“I didn’t mean it as an insult-“

“Then how am I supposed to take it, huh?” Kurt snapped. 

“Kurt, calm down, I-“

“Don’t tell me to calm down!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you want-“

“I want you to leave me alone!”

“You’re my brother, dude, I want to comfort you-“

“You’re not my brother!” Kurt yelled and pushed past Finn to get out of the house.

“Kurt, where are you-“

Kurt didn’t listen to the rest of Finn's question. He ran down the stairs and was about to leave the house when he heard Carole say, “Where are you going?”

“Out,” Kurt muttered and quickly walked to his car. It was pitch black outside, but he didn’t care.

Too much was going on, and he couldn’t stand being in Lima anymore. He drove for about an hour with only one thing on his mind: he has to get away.

* * *

* * *

That was when the bridge caught his eye. It was isolated and dark enough that nobody would be able to see him. He absentmindedly pulled into the abandoned parking lot. He took 3 deep breaths before getting out of the car.

He slowly walked to the middle of the bridge, letting the rain fall on him. He climbed over the rails and looked down. 

The water crashed against the rocks under the bridge and Kurt was drawn to it. So drawn, that he screamed when someone grabbed his arm.

“Kurt, what are you doing?”

Kurt turned around with a terrified look on his face. It was Sebastian. “I- I don’t know...”

“You- You weren’t going to jump were you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Kurt, take my hand. Come on,” Sebastian pleaded, trying to get Kurt back to the other side.

“No.”

“Kurt, please. I- I’ll help you. I’ll do anything; just please come back over.”

“I- I can’t. I’m scared.”

“Kurt, I’ll help you get back over. Just take my hand. I’ve got you.”

Kurt grabbed onto Sebastian’s hand, but Sebastian led Kurt’s hand down to the top of the rail. “What are you doing?” Kurt asked, panic clear in his voice.

“Grab hold of the rail, okay? Use both your hands.”

“What are you doing?!” Kurt repeated, more frantically.

“Hold on, trust me, please.”

Kurt did as Sebastian asked, and he gasped when Sebastian put his hands on Kurt’s waist and pulled him back over. 

* * *

* * *

“Are you okay?” Sebastian asked, breathless.

Kurt spun around and threw his arms around Sebastian. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Sebastian replied. He sighed in relief. “I- I’m so glad I was here when I was...”

“Why are you here?”

“We’re really gonna question my reason for being here? Kurt, what were you thinking?”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt mumbled, still holding onto Sebastian.

“Don’t apologise, just... what made you want to... you know?”

“It’s just too much- Blaine, my dad, Finn, you-“

“Me? Kurt, what did I do?”

“Don’t act innocent!” Kurt snapped. “Blaine told me what you did; you lied to me!”

“I- what? Kurt, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Please, tell me. I- I never meant to hurt you.”

“You said Blaine hit on you... but today, he told me that you said our relationship was boring and you tried to convince him to sleep with you,” Kurt admitted.

“Kurt, I promise, I never did that. I- I- I wouldn’t do that to you, I swear. You have to believe me.”

“Why should I believe you? You’ve done nothing but ruin my life since you got here!”

“What?”

“You-You ruined my relationship with Blaine because now all he wants is to sleep with me! And- And you’ve taken over Glee with your stupid singing voice and your stupidly good looks! And none of this happened until you came!”

“I’m sorry, Kurt,” Sebastian mumbled, “I thought- I didn’t mean to do any of that.”

Kurt sighed and put his arms back around Sebastian. “Please don’t apologise. I- I don’t know what’s wrong with me; I just can’t stop getting at people that I care about. I swear, I didn’t mean any of that.”

“I think part of you did,” Sebastian said softly, “but it’s okay.”

“I’m just so angry,” Kurt said.

“I know you are, it’s part of grieving. It’ll get easier.”

“I’m starting to think it won’t.”

“It will, Kurt. Don’t give up.”

Kurt nodded and buried his head in the crook of Sebastian’s neck. “Thank you for saving me.”

“Anytime,” Sebastian patted Kurt’s back. “Let’s go back to my car, you’re shivering.”

“Wait. Just a bit longer,” Kurt said, pulling Sebastian back into a hug. 

* * *

Kurt felt immediately relaxed in Sebastian’s car. The seat was comfy and Sebastian was kind enough to put the heating on and give Kurt a change of clothes. They sat together in the back seats, Sebastian holding Kurt close.

“Are we okay now?” Sebastian murmured. 

“Yeah. I’m sorry about the whole accusing-you thing.”

“I promise I didn’t do anything like that.”

“I think I believe you. Blaine hasn’t always been exactly honest with me in the past. And he’d do anything to keep me from being mad at him.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Seb, it‘s not fair for me to bother you with this stuff...”

“Shh, Kurt. You shouldn’t bottle up your feelings, it’s not good for you.”

“I’ve been thinking of seeing a therapist,” Kurt confessed.

“Really? That’s good.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll mention it to Finn and Carole when I get home.” Kurt frowned then. “But I don’t know if Finn will talk to me.”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“I said all this awful stuff to him,” Kurt felt shame rise in him again, “about how he’s not my brother and I want him to leave me alone. He was only trying to help.”

“He’ll forgive you.”

“But he shouldn’t.”

“Kurt, don’t think that way. He’ll understand. You’d forgive him if he said the same to you, right?”

“Well, yeah, but-“

“No buts. Try to think positive.”

Kurt nodded.

“So, what happened with Blaine?”

“We-” Kurt sighed, “we’ve been fighting so much lately. It started in the summer; he wanted to have sex and I didn’t. And he knows how uncomfortable it makes me, but he wouldn’t drop it. He kept trying to come onto me whenever we were alone, and eventually, I snapped and we broke up for a night. But it made me so depressed, I took him back. And then we fought again today and he blamed it on you, but I don’t even know if he lied or not.”

From the outside, Sebastian always assumed that Kurt and Blaine were a perfect couple. But now... it seemed like they had a lot of issues. “I’m sorry,” he eventually said. “When did all this happen?”

“Most of it was within the past few days.”

“The- what? Your dad just died.”

“It’s okay, I don’t expect him to understand it because he’s never lost anyone.”

“Neither have I, Kurt. But I know when you need to leave someone to grieve.”

Kurt sighed and snuggled further into Sebastian’s arms, letting himself drift off to sleep.

* * *

“ _Kurt? Wake up, please. We’re at your house._ ”

Kurt groaned and felt the absence of Sebastian. “Se- Se- Sebastian?” he mumbled.

“We’re at your house.”

Kurt opened his eyes; Sebastian was sat in the driver's seat and he was still in the back. “Did you drive me home?”

“Yeah, you fell asleep, and it was getting late.”

“How’d you know where I live?”

“Finn invited us back to your place a while back,” Sebastian explained.

“Ah.” Kurt put his hand on the handle, but he didn’t open the door. 

“Is something wrong?” Sebastian asked, noticing Kurt’s lack of movement. 

“I- I’m scared to go inside.”

“Kurt...”

“I have to tell them what happened, and I don’t know what they’re going to say,” Kurt teared up, “they’ll be so disappointed in me.”

“No, no, Kurt, they won’t. You can’t help the way you feel, okay? It’ll be okay. They’ll understand.”

Kurt broke down, sobbing loudly. “I don’t want to hurt them; they’ve been through so much already.”

“Kurt, it’s okay, I promise. Do you want me to come inside with you?”

Kurt shook his head. “I- I’m okay. I need to do this.”

“Call me, okay? Let me know that you’re safe,” Sebastian said. He got out of his side of the car and walked around, opening Kurt’s door for him. He took Kurt’s hand and gently pulled him out of the car.

“Thank you,” Kurt said and pulled Sebastian into a hug.

“It’s okay. I’ll see you later.”

“See you,” Kurt sighed. He waited until Sebastian had driven away until he walked up to the front door. When he opened it, he saw Carole and Finn in the living room; Finn was comforting her.

“Kurt!” Finn exclaimed, letting go of his mother. He ran across the room and embraced Kurt. “Where the hell were you? Why didn’t you answer your phone? Are you okay?” he demanded, his tone almost angry.

“I... I’m sorry.”

Carole sniffed them stood up. “We thought something had happened to you. Where were you?”

Kurt rubbed the back of his neck. “You know the bridge halfway between Lima and Westerville?”

“Kurt,” Carole gasped. “You weren’t...”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt cried again.

“No, no, don’t apologise, just-“ She sighed. “Why didn’t you talk to us?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Dude, answer the question.” Finn squeezed Kurt’s shoulder.

“I- I didn’t even know until... I didn’t plan on it.” Kurt turned to Finn. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier, I didn’t mean it- I- I just...”

“I know,” Finn said, “it’s okay. It’s natural for you to-“

“No, don’t justify my actions just because my dad died. I should know better than that.”

“Kurt, we’re getting off-topic here,” Carole said. “I mean this in the nicest way possible because I am _so_ glad that you’re alive, but why... didn’t... you... you know?”

“I don’t think I was even going to- to do it, but Sebastian... he stopped me.”

Carole sighed, muttering a “bless that boy.”

“He also brought me home... wait, where’s my car?” 

“I’ll take you to get it tomorrow,” Finn offered.

“Look, it’s been a long night, why don’t we all go up to bed? We’ll talk about this more tomorrow,” Carole suggested.

Kurt nodded, and Finn led him upstairs. Kurt changed into some comfier clothes in the bathroom, and when he went back into his room, he saw that Finn was sat on his bed. “Um, y- you can go now,” he said awkwardly.

Finn shook his head. “I want to know why,” he confessed. “Was it something I did?”

Kurt gasped and sat down next to Finn. “God, no, no, Finn. You’ve been the best big brother I could ask for.”

“Then why?” Finn’s voice cracked. “I- I could have lost you... I should have gone after you but I didn’t. I just called you.”

“My phone was on silent,” Kurt whispered. “Finn, I promise none of this is your fault. I- It’s mostly Blaine.”

“Blaine?”

“Today he started to fix his relationship with his father and it made me realise that I’m never going to get that again. I had the best and most supportive father in the world and now he’s just _gone_.”

“I know it’s hard, Kurt. But you know I’ll always be here for you, and you can talk to me about anything.”

Kurt nodded and rested his head on Finn’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, it’s what I’m here for. And by the way, you look great right now.”

Kurt chuckled. He had caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and he knew he looked awful. “Yeah. Can I go to sleep now?”

“Of course,” Finn stood up and ruffled Kurt’s already breakdown-worthy hair. “Good night, little brother.”

“Night, Finn.”

* * *

Kurt couldn’t sleep that night. He was tempted to call Blaine, but after finding out that his boyfriend had lied again, he wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. His second thought was to call Sebastian but he had already bothered him with his problems. So, he settled for calling Rachel.

“ _Kurt?_ ” Rachel groaned. “ _Are you okay? It’s 2 A.M._ ”

“Yeah,” Kurt whispered, “I just can’t sleep. Can I talk to you for a while?”

“ _Of course_.” Kurt heard Rachel shifting and assumed she was sitting up. “ _What’s got my bestie awake?_ ”

“Do you think Blaine is good for me?” That was the question that had been on Kurt’s mind the longest.

“ _I- I don’t know, Kurt. I thought you guys were happy. Did something happen?_ ”

Kurt decided to spare her most of the details; enough people knew already and he didn’t need rumours spreading around the school. “Just... he hasn’t been supportive about my dad dying and he’s been really selfish about it. It just makes me wonder if he’s the one.”

“ _I don’t know what to tell you, Kurt. This is your choice. Are you okay?_ ”

“I think so. I know I have you guys to be there for me.”

“ _Always, babe. Do you want to do something tomorrow? You, me, and Mercedes can go shopping or something_.”

“Maybe. I don’t know if I’ll be up for it. I’ll let you know, okay?”

“ _Okay. Anything else you want to talk about?_ ”

“I’m good for now. I’ll call you tomorrow. Night, Rach.”

“ _Night, Kurt_.”

Before he went to sleep, he sent one last next to Sebastian, thanking him for everything he’d done.


	8. Clear Your Mind. Your Heart Is Trying To Tell You Something.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt spends the day with Rachel, Mercedes, and Finn. Blaine gets closer to someone.

When Kurt went downstairs the next morning, Carole and Finn were already sitting at the table. Carole gestured for Kurt to sit in the empty chair and he did so. He wasn’t sure why they were looking at him weirdly until he remembered what had happened the night before.

“So, Kurt; Finn and I were just talking and we're wondering how would you feel about going to therapy?” Carole asked, offering him a cup of coffee.

Kurt gratefully accepted the drink and, after taking a sip, he said, “Yeah. I was thinking about it as well.”

Carole nodded. “Well, my friend is a therapist, and she’s agreed to see you. Only if you’re comfortable, of course.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Secondly,” Carole continued, “how do you feel about going back to school on Monday? Or maybe we could transfer you again?”

Kurt shook his head. “Um, I want to stay at McKinley, and, if it’s okay, could I go back on Monday?”

Carole nodded. “Whatever makes you feel comfortable, sweetie.”

“Can I go shopping with Rachel and Mercedes?”

Carole and Finn looked at each other. “Yes,” Carole said, “but I’d prefer if Finn went with you.”

Kurt nodded, not too surprised by the conditions. “Okay. I’m gonna go get dressed,” he said. “We’re meeting them outside of the GAP at 12, okay?” he told Finn.

“Okay.”

* * *

When Kurt was getting ready, he decided to take a little bit more care into his appearance. A day without Blaine or Sebastian sounded good to him; it seemed that whenever he was with either of them, there was drama. He washed and brushed his hair, spent a lot longer on his skin regimen than usual, and chose a fashionable, but also comfortable, outfit, consisting of his sweater, jeans and boots. 

Sliding his wallet and phone into his jean pockets, he ran downstairs and saw Carole and Finn looking at him. “What?” he said, checking his sweater for stains.

“Nothing,” Carole drawled, a smile on her face. “You look nice, that’s all.”

“I know.” Kurt laughed, flicking his hair.

“Wanna get a cab to the bridge and then we’ll drive your car to the mall?” Finn suggested, wiping his hands on his jeans.

“Uh, sure,” Kurt said, “I think I left my keys in my pants from last night. I’ll go get them.” He ran back to his room and found his pants on the floor. He remembered a time when he couldn’t sleep unless his clothes were folded neatly and put away. 

Kurt grabbed the keys, but when he was leaving the room, he saw a photo of himself and his dad. He sighed but kept walking. Today was a day for having fun, not a depressive episode.

With a smile on his face, he waited outside for the cab with Finn, pushing all negative thoughts out of his mind.

* * *

“Do you think that there was more that we could have done?” Kurt abruptly asked Finn as they were going back to the bridge.

“What?” 

“For my dad, I mean. Maybe if we would have noticed the signs sooner, or helped with his diet.”

“Kurt, don’t overthink it. You looked after your dad more than you looked after yourself. For all we know, it could have been inedible.”

“You mean inevitable?” Kurt corrected.

“Um, yeah, sure.”

“I know,” Kurt sighed, “but I just wonder: what if we did something different? He could still be here...”

“Or maybe he wouldn’t and you’d be blaming yourself for a different reason.”

Kurt nodded; that sounded like something he’d do. “What’s new with you? Puck got anyone else pregnant,” he joked.

“Rachel and I went to find Sam to bring him back. You’ll never guess what he was doing!” Finn’s eyes lit up like a little kid’s.

“What?”

“He’s a stripper; can you believe it? I can never unsee what I saw.”

Kurt gasped, but for a different reason. “You went to a strip club without me?!”

“Well, I- uh... not exactly.”

“I can’t believe you! You know that is on my bucket list.”

“I’ll take you another time, okay?” Finn laughed. “But that’s not the best part. His parents are letting him come back but only if he lives with us!”

“Oh my God! Is he moving in?”

“Yes!”

“Oh my God! When?”

“In 2 weeks! But he’s spending the night tonight for a test run.”

“Oh my God! This is great!”

“I know! He’ll be like our brother.”

“Eww, no.” Kurt cringed. “I do not need 2 brothers that I had weird, short-lasting crushes on.”

Finn chuckled, realising that the driver could hear everything. “You’re right, we’ll get a reputation.”

* * *

Kurt felt like hugging his Navigator when he first caught sight of it, but then he saw the bridge in the distance, and all joy left his body. 

He knew that Finn was pretending not to see it too so he didn’t bring it up. They silently got into the car, fastened their seatbelts, and Kurt pulled out and finished their journey to the mall.

* * *

All the despair was gone when Kurt saw his two best friends chatting together outside of the infamous GAP. “God, you two just get prettier each day,” Kurt gushed.

“Oh, Kurt!” Mercedes exclaimed. “You look drop-dead gorgeous. Blaine better keep an eye on ya.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Rachel agreed, linking arms with Finn.

“Are you guys always this... complimentary?” Finn asked, slightly insecure that none of the girls had flattered him. 

“Aww, is someone feeling left out? Don’t worry, you’re just as handsome as ever,” Rachel reassured, stroking Finn’s arm.

“I second that,” Mercedes said. “Kurt?”

“Oh no.” Kurt put his hands up. “I am not going there after our conversation in the car.”

“What conversation?” Mercedes asked. 

“Long story short: Sam is moving in with Finn and me.”

“Really? Sam’s coming back?” Mercedes said, her tone slightly afraid.

“Oo, is there gossip, Miss Jones?” Kurt teased. 

“Well, Sam and I may have had a little... thing.”

“Oh my God! I thought you were waiting until marriage,” Kurt hissed, keeping his voice low so the couple couldn’t hear.

“I am! We didn’t do _that_ , I’m not ready for that. We just kissed a little.”

“Um.” Kurt steered Mercedes towards Macy’s. “We’re gonna go in here, okay? We’ll meet you guys later,” he called to Finn and Rachel. He needed to talk to Mercedes without fear of them overhearing. Hearing a faint “Okay” from Rachel, Kurt and Mercedes went into the store.

“What’s up, babe?” Mercedes said, noticing Kurt’s unusual behaviour.

“I need to talk to you.” Kurt sighed. “You know how you said that you’re not ready to have,” he lowered his voice to a mere whisper, “sex.”

“Yeah?”

“H- How did you know you weren’t ready?”

“Well, it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just I want to wait until marriage.”

“Oh.”

“Why? What’s going on, Kurt?”

“Blaine keeps wanting to... _you know_. But I don’t want to and I don’t know why. I mean, I think he’s attractive and stuff, but the whole idea of doing it with him just...” He shuddered.

“Do you think you might not be into sex?” Mercedes suggested.

“I don’t think so,” Kurt said, “it’s not sex itself that I don’t like the idea of. It’s just sex with Blaine. I don’t know; I’m still figuring stuff out.”

“That’s okay,” Mercedes replied. “Maybe you aren’t attracted to Blaine like that.”

“I... you think? I mean, I think he’s hot and stuff.”

“Hun, there’s a difference between finding someone _attractive_ and being _attracted_ to them. I mean, you find me attractive, right? But you’re not tempted to sneak me into the bathroom or anything.”

“That’s true,” Kurt admitted. “But, I mean, the idea of doing it with Puck doesn’t scare me as it does with Blaine.”

“You and Puck are close. Maybe you’ve lost your connection with Blaine, and that’s put you off the idea of being with him. Rachel told me that you two have been fighting a lot.”

“Good point, but it’s always been there. Like an alarm going off in my head whenever he touches me saying, ‘Don’t do it, Kurt.’ I just wish I knew why.”

Mercedes patted his cheek. “You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

* * *

Mercedes and Kurt met Finn and Rachel in the food court half an hour later.

“You guys aren’t going to believe who I saw!” Rachel exclaimed, checking over her shoulder as if to see if someone was watching her. 

“Who?!” Kurt hissed.

“Blaine!” She leaned in and whispered, “And you’ll never guess who he was with!”

“Who?!” Finn and Mercedes cried. Kurt didn’t say anything.

“Karofsky,” she spat, acting as if the name was a curse word.

“K- Karofsky?” Kurt stuttered. _That can’t be right_ , he thought.

“Yeah.”

Kurt gulped. “He told me he was going golfing with his dad.”

Finn sighed, wishing Blaine would get his act together. “Maybe his dad cancelled?”

“You should totally call him! See what he says,” Rachel told him, clearly not reading the room.

“Yeah,” Kurt said, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

Finn lowered his voice, “Dude, don’t. You might not like what you hear.”

“I have to know if he’s being honest with me.” Kurt was already dialling. Blaine picked up on the 2nd ring. “Blaine?”

“ _Yeah?_ ”

“Where are you?”

“ _Kurt, I told you, I’m with my dad. I can’t talk long, it’s almost my turn_.”

“O- Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” Kurt hung up and sighed. “He lied.”

“Oh, Kurt.” Rachel looked at him sympathetically. “I’m sorry.”

* * *

Blaine woke up that morning feeling desperate for attention. For some reason, Kurt was ignoring his calls, and so was Sebastian. He wanted to talk about his conversation with his father to someone, and since neither Kurt nor Sebastian was available, he decided to call David instead.

He sent a quick text to Kurt, telling him that he was golfing with his dad (it wasn’t a complete lie, it just so happened to be that he was doing that next week) so that Kurt wouldn’t bother him. 

David suggested that they go to the mall together and Blaine agreed to it. What were the chances that Kurt would be there while he was so depressed about his dad?

They were walking around the mall, talking about David’s new school, when Blaine decided to steer the conversation in the direction of him and his father.

“So, you’ll never guess what happened last night,” Blaine said.

“What?”

“I always thought that my dad had a problem with my sexuality, but now, it’s not that big of a deal. We’re actually starting to do some things I enjoy together. Last night, we watched _Dirty Dancing_.”

“That’s great,” David replied halfheartedly.

Blaine frowned; that wasn’t the reaction he wanted. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no, it’s just,” David sighed, “me and my dad aren’t as close as we used to be. But it’s good that you have a better relationship with yours now.”

Blaine’s phone began to ring and when he checked it he saw it was Kurt. “I gotta take this,” Blaine said and made his way to the outside of the bathroom.

“ _Blaine?_ ” Kurt’s voice was almost afraid.

“Yeah?”

“ _Where are you?_ ”

Blaine rolled his eyes. Wasn’t his lie good enough for Kurt? 

“Kurt, I told you, I’m with my dad. I can’t talk long, it’s almost my turn.”

“ _O- Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Bye._ ”

Blaine hung up, feeling annoyed. That phone call was completely useless. He walked back over to David.

“Everything okay?” David asked. “You look upset.”

Blaine loved the way that David was looking at him. He looked genuinely concerned.

And he thought Blaine was upset.

“Not really,” Blaine said, using his saddest voice. “Kurt just broke up with me.”

* * *

“Why would he lie to me?” Kurt asked, still staring at his phone. “I mean, I’d be fine with him hanging out with Karofsky if he would be _honest_ about it. Why would he lie? Do you think he’s cheating on me?”

“I- I don’t know,” Mercedes said. She gently took the phone out of Kurt’s hand and placed it on the table. “Maybe there’s a good reason why he lied. He might need tips for a Christmas gift or something.”

Kurt nodded, despite not believing that reason one bit. 

“I can go ask him what he’s doing if you want. He was just leaving here when I saw him,” Rachel offered.

“I’m going to talk to him about it later,” Kurt said, though he wasn’t entirely sure he was. “So, anyway, let’s change the subject.”

“Sure,” Mercedes said. “What did you guys do last night?”

“Another subject,” Kurt demanded, unable to keep the sharpness out of his tone.

Mercedes and Rachel shared a look but ignored it. “Okay,” Rachel drawled. “Where’s Sam going to be staying when he moves in?”

“Sharing a room with me,” Finn answered. “Which I don’t think is fair, really.”

“Why?” Kurt wrinkled his nose.

“Because you get a bathroom to yourself _and_ your own room.”

“It’s called an en suite, Finn. And it’s not my fault it comes with the smallest bedroom.”

“Touchy,” Finn said.

“Touché,” Kurt corrected.

* * *

“What? Why?”

Blaine looked at David helplessly and shrugged. “He just said that he didn’t love me anymore.”

“And he ended it over the _phone_?! I thought Kurt was better than that,” David scoffed.

“Me too.” Blaine let himself smirk a little before he said, “Honestly, I think he’s cheating on me.”

“With who?”

“This new guy, Sebastian. They’ve been spending so much time together, it wouldn’t surprise me if they had slept together,” Blaine lied. He wrapped his arms around David.

“It’ll be okay,” David said. “You can do better.”

“Maybe...” Blaine smiled, an idea popping into his head. Sex with David sounded amazing to him, but he knew it wouldn’t be as easy to get as it was with the guys at Scandals. He would have to date David. “Do you want to go catch a movie? There’s this incredible romance one.”

“I- I don’t know, Blaine. You just got dumped, shouldn’t you, I don’t know, cry while watching _Titanic_?”

“Kurt and I were going to see the movie...” Blaine fibbed. 

“Okay then. Let’s go, I guess.”

* * *

Sebastian couldn’t stop thinking about Kurt. Around 2 that morning, Kurt had texted Sebastian, thanking him again for what he had done the night before. Sebastian had replied when he was awake, asking him how he was feeling. Kurt still hadn’t replied.

Sebastian knew he had nothing to worry about. Maybe Kurt was just sleeping in really, _really_ late. Or he was busy. Or he broke his phone. But Sebastian couldn’t help himself from calling.

“Hey,” Sebastian said when Kurt picked up. “Are you okay?”

“ _Yeah, I’m sorry for not texting you back. I’m just out with Finn, Rachel, and Mercedes._ ”

“I- It’s okay,” Sebastian said. “I was just a little worried. It’s good that you’re going out.”

“ _Yeah, these guys radiate a ton of positive energy, so I’m just gonna spend as much time with them as I can. Can I ask you something?_ ”

“Sure.”

“ _Do you know anything about David Karofsky?_ ”

“Um,” Sebastian couldn’t recall hearing the name from anywhere, “no, sorry. Why?”

“ _Blaine lied about hanging out with him, and I don’t know why._ ”

Sebastian sighed, hating the fact that Blaine treated Kurt so badly. “I’m sorry. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation.”

“ _Me too. I’ll call you later, okay?_ ”

“Okay, bye,” Sebastian said. He couldn’t help but miss Kurt as soon as he hung up. And he felt jealous. Jealous because Blaine had Kurt, but wasn’t treating him the way he deserved. Jealous because Kurt wanted to hang out with his friends, but not him.

Sebastian groaned. Jealousy was a worthless emotion to him. Sebastian knew he was attractive and that guys everywhere wanted him. So why did he care that _Kurt_ didn’t want him? 

Or that Kurt wanted everyone but him.

* * *

Blaine snuck David back into his bedroom, laughing. He wasn’t sure why, but hearing David insult Kurt did something to Blaine.

He led David into his bed and climbed on top of him. He kissed him and was surprised when David kissed him back. But then David stopped kissing him back.

“What’s wrong?” Blaine asked, slightly annoyed. It had been so long since he had cheated on Kurt, and he missed the thrill of it.

“You and Kurt just broke up today. Isn’t it a little soon?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Blaine, I don’t just want to be a rebound. Let’s take this slow, okay?” 

Blaine sighed. That meant he would have to go on dates and control himself, and he had to do that enough with Kurt. “Okay.” He pushed himself up and sat beside David. 

“I think I should go home,” David said.

“No, wait!”

David looked at Blaine as if to say, “Why?”

“I don’t want to be alone right now,” Blaine continued. “It’s just so hard no longer having Kurt. Just stay please, even if it’s just as a friend.”

“Okay.”

* * *

When Kurt and Finn went back home, they were welcomed with the sight of a familiar blond playing video games in the living room.

“Sam!” Kurt and Finn both exclaimed together. Sam turned around, grinning. 

“Hey, it’s my new roommates!” Sam yelled, abandoning his video game and jumping off the couch. He pulled Finn into a hug, then Kurt. “I’m sorry to hear about your dad, by the way,” Sam said.

Kurt shrugged it off. He wasn’t in the mood to get into it. “It’s okay. So, you’re staying in Finn’s room?”

“Yeah,” Sam confirmed, “but I was wondering if we should all have a guys night, you know, get to see what it’s like to live together. You’d be okay staying with us just for tonight, right, Kurt?”

“Uh, sure. That’d be okay.”

“Great! God, it’s going to be so much fun.”

Kurt laughed, wondering how Sam had so much energy. “It is.”


	9. It Hurt Because It Mattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t mess with Blaine’s tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW-  
> \- Violence

Kurt flopped onto the mattress, stretching his legs. Finn and Sam were already bickering about who got to use the bathroom next so he was trying to enjoy as much of the quiet as he could. He used the time to check his phone, remembering Finn's no-phone-during-bro-time rule.

He sent a quick text to Sebastian, letting him know he wouldn't be able to talk until morning. He didn't send Blaine his usual good night text, deciding he wouldn't talk to his boyfriend until he confronted him about the lying.

With Finn having won the argument, Sam reluctantly came back into the bedroom, muttering about how as the guest he should be able to use the bathroom first. "So," he said, upon noticing Kurt, "what's new with you? Still dating that guy?"

"If by 'that guy,' you mean Blaine lying-cold-hearted-probably-cheating-on-me Anderson, then yes, I'm still dating 'that guy,'" Kurt muttered.

"Damn, Cupid sure stuck it's arrow somewhere, but I'm not sure it's your heart." Sam chuckled. "Wanna talk about it?"

"You remember David Karofsky?"

"That jerk who bullied and threatened to kill you?"

"That would be the one."

"What about him?"

"Blaine told me he was going golfing with his dad but he was hanging out with Karofsky today, and when I asked him where he was, he lied to me again."

"Look, I was as surprised as anyone when Karofsky came out at prom, but he seemed to really like you then. I'm gonna be honest, I think that if Karofsky was going to sleep with anyone, it would be you."

"Because I'm so attractive?" Kurt teased. 

"Because you're so likeable."

"And attractive?" 

"And not at all smug." Sam laughed.

"You know it." Kurt winked.

Finn walked back into the bedroom, a confused look on his face. "Bathroom's free."

"Finally; you take longer than Kurt," Sam scoffed, his tone playful.

"Hey! I'm worth it!" Kurt yelled, making Sam and Finn laugh.

* * *

Kurt took a small sip of one of the beers that Finn had snuck up, not wanting to feel left out. Both Finn and Sam were drunk, clearly having no concern about getting caught by Carole.

"You guys are lucky we don't have school in the morning," Kurt muttered, wincing as the beer burned his throat.

"Come on, Kurt," Sam teased, "live a little."

"Yeah, maybe the reason Blaine is cheating on you is that you're so uptight." Finn put his arm around him but Kurt shrugged it away.

"You really think I'm uptight?"

"No... no," Finn drawled unconvincingly. "It's just, you know, you're never any fun."

"Maybe I'm not any fun because I've had to spend every minute looking over my shoulder because if I relax for even a second I'll get punched in the face! Maybe I'm not any fun because everything in my life gets worse just as it gets any better! Maybe-"

"Whoa, Kurt, calm down," Sam said, taking Kurt's hand. 

"I- I need some air," he said, pulling away from Sam. He ran downstairs and out of the front door. 

After standing on the porch for a few minutes, Sam and Finn carefully approached him.

Kurt rubbed his forehead and turned around. "Guys, I'm sorry about that back there, I-" Sam and Finn both pulling him into a hug.

"It's okay," Finn said. "I shouldn't have said that. You're not uptight."

"No, I am..." Kurt sighed, then he grinned. "Let's have a little fun."

"Fun? How?" Sam asked, looking at Finn with concern.

"How about we teach Blaine a lesson? For lying to me, of course."

"Thank God I never dated you." Sam laughed. "What did you have in mind?"

"Any ideas, Finn?" Kurt asked. "After all, you were the one who used to bully me Freshman year."

"I dunno," Finn said. "Pee balloons?"

"That's gross. TP his house?" Sam suggested.

"Not his house... he has this tree in the front yard that he's really proud of."

Finn nodded. "I don't think we have that much toilet paper left. Shall we buy some?"

"Sure. I'll start up the car. Sam, grab some bags. Finn, put on shoes."

"Okay."

* * *

Kurt giggled as Sam pushed him into the store; Finn was already sliding across the floor. "You brought cash, right?" Finn said. "I don't think we can explain this to Mom if we use card."

"Of course. I'm organised," Kurt said, pride evident in his voice. 

"Uptight," Sam said, covering it with a cough, but Kurt still heard. "I'm kidding!"

"Sure you are. Well, from now on, I will be Fun Kurt Hummel."

"Then who's going to stop me from making mistakes?" Finn asked.

"Here's an idea: yourself," Kurt said, grabbing 2 9-packs of toilet paper.

"Do we really need that many?" Sam asked.

"Probably not. But it's a big tree, and whatever we don't use, we can take home. The fact that you said we were so low on paper made me concerned."

"So, why is this tree so special to him anyway?"

"I don't know, but whenever I went round to his place, he made a big deal of showing it off."

"Hey, there's cupcakes over there!" Finn cried. "They're so small!" He ran over to the cupcake display, leaving Kurt and Sam alone.

"So, you really are mad at Blaine, huh?" Sam said, putting his arm around Kurt's waist. 

"Yep."

"You gonna break up with him?"

"I don't know. If he slept with David, probably. That's just... inexcusable."

Sam leaned his head on Kurt's shoulder. "If you do..."

"Sam." Kurt sighed and turned to face his roommate. "I'm sorry, but... I'm not interested in you that way."

Sam shrugged. "Okay, fair enough. Can't blame me for trying."

"I really can't; I've seen how I look in these jeans."

Sam laughed and pulled away from Kurt. "So, what else did Blaine do?"

"Well, he kept pre-" Kurt wondered for a minute if he was comfortable with Sam knowing the details of his sex life, and when he decided he was, he said, "pressuring me to sleep with him."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know. He even went as far as to keep climbing on top of me, even when I said no..."

Sam gasped. "Kurt, if he ever does something like that again, tell me. Finn and I will break his face."

"Okay."

"He deserves more than a TP'd tree. I'm gonna see if this place has any plastic wrap," Sam said.

"Why?"

"I'm gonna cover his car with it."

Before Kurt could say anything, Sam was already running to the next aisle. 

* * *

The three of them met at the checkout 10 minutes later; Kurt carrying 2 packs of toilet paper, Sam with 4 large tubes of plastic wrap, and Finn fetching 3 tiny cupcakes. They paid then carried the shopping back to the car.

"Want me to drive?" Sam offered.

"Aren't you intoxicated?" Kurt replied.

"Nah, didn't drink any. I just pretended to so I didn't disappoint Finn," Sam said, gesturing to the taller boy who was jamming out to no music.

"Then sure." Kurt tossed Sam his keys. 

When they were driving to Blaine's, Kurt asked Finn if he had any beer. The reality of what they were doing was finally dawning on him and he knew he wouldn't be able to go through with it if he was sober.

"Ya." Finn passed a can to Kurt, who proceeded to drink several mouthfuls of the drink, despite the burning it caused. "So, dude, Kurt, Kurtdude, I have a question for _you_!"

"Proceed," Kurt said, wishing he was drunk enough to be as carefree as his brother.

"How'd you know you were gay?"

"I don't know. It's just something that has always been there, I guess. I always felt attracted to guys and not girls. I can't explain it. Why do you ask?"

"You're my brother and I wanna understand you better. Guys are hot."

Kurt laughed and took another few drinks. "That's sweet."

* * *

They pulled up outside of Blaine's house, a mix of nervousness and excitement in the air. Kurt was drunker than he had ever been in his life (which, in all fairness, wasn't too drunk), and he stumbled out of the car. He grabbed one of the packs of toilet paper, took out 3 rolls and tossed one to Sam and another to Finn. Sam put his roll on the floor. "I'm gonna get started on his car," he said.

Kurt nodded and ran with Finn into the Anderson's front yard. They both tried to stifle their laughter as they pulled off the end of the toilet paper and threw it across the tree, the other person catching it at the other side. 

10 minutes later, the tree was covered in white toilet paper, the branches barely able to be seen. 

It was all going fine until Finn threw the roll too high, causing it to hit a window. 

They both gasped, letting the roll hit the floor. The window's room's light turned on and before the trio could gather up their things and run away, the front door was opening.

It was Blaine.

With a guy behind him.

* * *

Kurt stared in disbelief. _Who the hell is that guy behind my boyfriend?_ he thought. 

"Kurt? What the hell are you doing?! This is my house! My tree!" Blaine shrieked. "My _car_!"

"Who is _he_!" Kurt screamed, pointing to the stranger behind Blaine. "I knew you were cheating on me, you bas-"

"Shut up, Kurt! You've destroyed my property! I can get you arrested, you know!" 

"Like hell, you will!" Kurt threw the almost empty roll of toilet paper at Blaine. "Take this! You can use it to clean up your tears when you realise how much you'll miss me 'cause of how hot I am! And I don't mean that because of global warming, I mean because I'm so se-" Sam grabbed Kurt's arm and started pulling himself back to the car.

"Let's go, I think you've said more than enough," Sam said.

* * *

Blaine watched Kurt be dragged away by Sam. He looked at the mess of his lawn and sighed. It would take some cleaning up. But his car- that was where he drew the line. Who was Kurt- _his_ Kurt- to get revenge on him? And for what, exactly? 

_ "I knew you were cheating on me!" _

_ Crap _ , Blaine thought. Had Kurt somehow found out about his hookups? Blaine looked at the good looking guy behind him. " _I knew_ " meant that Kurt had suspected it, but the guy had confirmed it. Blaine would have to come up with some sort of lie to get out of that mess. 

The guy- Blaine was still adamant to not learn any of their names- put his arms around Blaine's waist. "What was all that about?" he murmured.

"Just my stupid boyfriend," Blaine answered. "He's so pathetic sometimes. He always makes scenes like this."

"So, why do you put up with him?"

"He's worthless without me. Before I came along, he was getting bullied and was practically a nobody. I felt bad for him."

* * *

No one said anything on the ride home. Sam focused on driving, Finn crunched up an empty can of beer, and Kurt cried silently. The music was low but somehow comforting.

Eventually, Kurt spoke. "What's wrong with me?" 

"Nothing," Finn and Sam replied instinctively.

"Kurt, don't think like that," Finn said.

"I mean it. Why would Blaine cheat? Wasn't I good enough for him?" 

"Kurt, he never deserved you. He doesn't appreciate how good you are," Sam reassured.

"There's nothing good about me," Kurt whispered, and neither Sam nor Finn heard him.

* * *

Kurt didn't get out of bed the next day and refused to talk to anyone. It wasn't until Carole went into his room on Monday morning, asking him if he wanted to go to school, that he said, "No." Carole didn't press him to tell her what was wrong. From what Finn had told her, something bad had gone down with Blaine.

After Finn had gone to school and Carole to work, Kurt finally dragged himself out of bed. Checking his phone, he saw that he had hundreds of missed texts and calls from Blaine, a few dozen from Sebastian, and a few from the New Directions. Kurt ignored them all.

He went into the kitchen and made himself a snack, deciding to at least read through a few of the texts even if he never intended to reply until later. Straight up skipping Blaine's messages, he skimmed through Sebastian's. There was one a few nights ago, telling him to have fun at the guys night. There were a few from that morning, asking where he was. But there was 2 that caught his eye.

** Sebastian: Finn told me what happened with Blaine. I hope that's okay **

** Sebastian: And I hope you're okay. He's a complete idiot for not seeing how amazing you are. I don't know if you're going to break up with him, but I hope you're happy no matter what you do **

Kurt teared up at the text. Was he going to break up with Blaine? "I don't know," he whispered to himself. 

Forgetting his rule to not reply, he sent a text back to Sebastian.

** Kurt: Thank you. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, probably talk things out with him and take it from there. Is he at school today? **

It was still class time, so Kurt assumed that Sebastian wasn't going to get back to him until lunch. He was surprised when his phone vibrated. 

** Sebastian: Yeah, though he's only hanging with the ex-Warblers. I'm keeping my distance, mostly because he's a terrible person, also because his clothes scare me **

Kurt chuckled. 

** Kurt: Aren't you in class? **

** Sebastian: Math is boring **

** Kurt: Math is fun. You're boring **

** Sebastian: Now we both know that isn't true **

** Kurt: Do we now?  **

** Sebastian: Yeah. I'd say you're boring, but I heard what you did last night with Blaine's house. Also next time you TP a place, invite me. I can do it without hitting a window **

** Kurt: Ha bet  **

** Kurt: Does anyone else know? **

** Sebastian: Uh that Puck guy, Santana, Rachel, and Mercedes **

** Sebastian: BTW I don't know how sensitive you are about the subject so I'm giving you a heads up **

** Sebastian: Some of the ND's are planning an intervention for you  **

** Kurt: Oh God  **

** Sebastian: Yeah **

** Sebastian: GTG Mr G is staring me down and think he's gonna take my phone. TTYL **

** Kurt: TTYL **

Kurt ran his fingers through his hair. Sebastian wasn't specific about which New Direction's were handling the intervention, so the topic could be anything from breaking up with Blaine, staying with Blaine, his absence from school, or how he dresses. 

* * *

Blaine walked confidently through the hallway. So far, Finn hadn't mentioned the incident to anyone- or, if he had, no one had brought it up. He knew that he would be able to get away with it all and if everything went correctly, Kurt would forgive him too. 

Out of nowhere, someone grabbed his arm and pulling him into an empty classroom, then shoved him up against the door.

Blaine gasped and dared to open his eyes. Was this what Kurt used to go through? Was it because he was gay?

Puck was staring back at him.

"What the hell, Puck?" Blaine snarled. He tried to push Puck away, but he was stuck. "What's wrong with you?"

"I should ask _you_ that! You cheated on Kurt!"

"So?"

"So? _So_?! Kurt is one of the best people I know, and after everything he's been through- even if you don't include his _dad dying_ \- he's been through a hell of a lot! He doesn't deserve this!"

Blaine laughed. "And what are you going to do about it? Go back to jail?"

"I'll give you two options," Puck got closer to Blaine's face. "One, you can break up with Kurt, because it's fairly obvious he won't leave you no matter what you do."

"Or two?"

"I can break your face in."

Blaine laughed. He knew Puck was trying to be intimidating, but to him, it was nothing. Cooper had done worse to him. "What if I choose neither?"

"Then I'll automatically beat you up."

"Fine, I'll break up with Kurt," Blaine said. 

Puck looked confused for a minute, then lowered Blaine to the floor. "Okay."

Blaine chuckled as he opened the door. "Can't believe you fell for that," he muttered. He felt Puck grab his shoulder and spin him around. Before he could say anything, Puck's fist hit his face. 

"Why won't you just leave him?!" Puck yelled as he went in for another punch.

"Because like you said, he'll never leave me. And I want him," Blaine hissed, grabbing Puck's fist. 

"I knew there was something off with you the second I met you," Puck yelled, using his other fist to punch Blaine. 

Blaine used his hand to open the door, hoping a teacher would help him. Instead, Puck used the gesture to shove Blaine out of the room, into the hallway, and up against the lockers. He grabbed a handful of Blaine's hair and smacked his head against the metal. Blaine groaned and kicked Puck in the leg, making the other male loosen his grip. Blaine used this to his advantage and punched Puck himself.

"What is going on here?" Mr Shue asked, running up to the pair and pulling them apart. 

"He- He cheated on Kurt," Puck panted, wiping the blood off his face.

"It's not your place to intervene," Mr Shue said.

"Exactly," Blaine shouted.

"I'm disappointed in you too, Blaine! I expected better. Now, the two of you, get to Figgins' office."

Puck and Blaine gave each other a death glare but went anyway.

Sebastian, who had watched the whole scene, ran up to Mr Shue. "What happened?" he asked.

"They were fighting over Kurt," Mr Shue. "I just hope Figgins doesn't expel them or anything. We can not afford to lose any members."

"Is that really the priority here?" Sebastian asked. "Isn't it more important that they get punished rather than have them compete? I mean, we've already won Sectionals, and we have more than enough members to-"

"Just go to class, Sebastian. You're already late."

Sebastian sighed, but on his way to English, he slipped into the bathroom and pulled out his phone.

** Sebastian: Sorry to be the one to tell you this but Blaine and Puck got into a fight over you **


	10. Blaine-tervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt confronts Puck, while the gang throw him an intervention.

Kurt reread the text over and over. Had Blaine got in a fight with Puck? Or had Puck got in a fight with Blaine? Either way, it was over Kurt.

He thought over what could have caused it. Had Puck made another joke about wanting to sleep with him, and then Blaine got jealous? Or had Blaine insulted Kurt because of what he did to his tree and house? Puck had been more overprotective of Kurt lately...

Kurt was going to ask Sebastian who initiated the fight when he decided to just ask Puck instead, knowing that Puck was more honest than Blaine and had more of a chance of being accurate since he was actually in the fight. 

It was then that his phone began to ring. Blaine.

Kurt sighed and picked up. “What do you want?”

“ _To talk to you. Something happened today-_ “

“I already know. What were you thinking, fighting _Puck_? You could’ve gotten seriously hurt.”

“ _You were worried about me?_ ” Blaine’s tone sounded touched.

“Of course, you’re my boyfriend. I care about you.”

“ _I got suspended for the rest of the week._ ”

“Oh,” Kurt hesitated before saying, “do you want to come over then? We should talk about what happened on Saturday night.”

“ _Yeah, that’d be good. Can you pick me up?_ ” 

“Didn’t you take your car to school?”

“ _I’m still yet to unwrap it._ ”

Kurt laughed. “Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

“ _Thank you._ ”

* * *

On the ride over to McKinley, Kurt thought over what he would say to Blaine. He figured that he would hear Blaine out- see who that guy was and what he was doing with Karofsky. 

Based on Blaine’s answers, he would see if they would break up or not. 

He parked his car in the almost-full parking lot, went into the building (grateful that everyone was still in class) and made his way to the reception. 

Blaine and Puck were sat on opposite sides of the room, both looking miserable and annoyed. 

“Hi,” Kurt said, smiling at his boyfriend.

“Kurt-“

“I’m not talking to you, Puck,” Kurt said, cutting off his friend. One look at Blaine’s face told him that Puck had gone too far.

“Fine,” Puck muttered. “I’m sorry.”

“You ready to go, Blaine?” Kurt asked, picking up his boyfriend’s bag.

“Wait, you’re picking up him?! After-“

“Puck, be quiet!” Kurt snapped.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Blaine said. He shot Puck one last look before taking Kurt’s hand. They signed out then walked back out to Kurt’s Navigator. “Thanks again, it means a lot,” Blaine said.

“Anytime,” Kurt said, getting into the driver's seat.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine sat in silence on the couch. Suddenly, all the planning that Kurt had done it the car left his mind. 

Blaine cleared his throat. “So, we have some stuff to sort out.”

“True,” Kurt said. “Who was that guy? You know, the one you were with that night.”

“My cousin,” Blaine lied. “He and my aunt were visiting for the weekend.”

“I- I’m so sorry,” Kurt apologised. “I feel horrible! I thought you were cheating on me. And I threw toilet paper at you!”

“To be fair, it was really soft. And it’s okay; if I saw you with a random guy, I’d think the same thing.”

“I know you were with Karofsky when you told me you were golfing with your dad.”

“How...”

“Rachel saw you. Why did you lie to me?”

“I...” Blaine sighed. “David doesn’t want to be friends with you. He said some horrible stuff about you. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings so I kept it from you.” It wasn’t an exact lie. David had said those things, it was just after Blaine had lied about breaking up with Kurt.

“Oh.” Kurt held back the tears. He had finally thought that his friendship with David was stable- but now... “Oh.”

“I’m sorry, Kurt. I was just trying to protect you but I shouldn’t have lied.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt said. “You had good intentions.”

Blaine took his hand, and Kurt leaned in. They kissed for what felt like the first time in forever and Kurt didn’t feel disgusted. Or afraid. He felt happy. He climbed onto Blaine’s lap and kissed him harder, only stopping to say, “Just so we’re clear, we’re not having sex.”

Blaine nodded. That was okay with him- his relationship with David was getting closer and closer to being more intimate each day. Being with David wasn’t the best choice to Blaine, but it was safer than having random hookups. 

Blaine pulled back. “Do you want to do something tonight? Maybe go to Breadstix or something?” He stroked Kurt’s arm. “Just the two of us. I’ve missed you.”

Kurt rested his head on Blaine’s shoulder. “I would love to but I have therapy later.”

“Since when do you go to therapy?”

“Since tonight. Maybe tomorrow night though?”

Blaine smirked. “I’m suspended for the rest of the week, so maybe if you skip school tomorrow, we could have a whole day together.”

Kurt groaned. “Stop tempting me... I have to go to school. I’m falling behind so much. Saturday! Just the two of us on Saturday! I promise.”

“Oh, I’m so lucky.” Blaine sighed happily. 

“No, I am. I’m sorry about your car and your garden.”

“It’s okay, you were angry at me and you had every right to be. It was just a misunderstanding. I forgive you.”

Kurt smiled and kissed Blaine’s forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

Kurt unplugged his phone from the charger and ran downstairs. “I’m going now,” he told Finn and Carole. 

“Wait a minute, please,” Carole said. “Finn’s driving you.”

“What?” Kurt said, slightly annoyed at his lack of freedom.

“He’ll be driving you, waiting, and then driving you home for the first few sessions.”

“Why?”

“Safety, Kurt. That’s the most important thing here.”

Kurt sighed but nodded his head. “We’re taking your car, then. I’m not letting you drive my Navigator.”

“Fair enough,” Finn said, grabbing his own keys.

* * *

Finn drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as they waited for the traffic to pass. Despite the music, there was an uncomfortable silence between them, so having a conversation was inevitable.

“Did you hear about the fight today?” Finn asked, turning the music down.

“Yeah. Blaine and Puck,” Kurt replied, not moving his head off the window. “Blaine and I made up, by the way.”

“What?” 

“I was wrong. He wasn’t cheating, that guy was his cousin, and the whole Karofsky thing was because Karofsky doesn’t like me,” Kurt explained.

“Kurt,” Finn said gently, “you don’t actually believe that, do you?”

“I have to.”

“Why?”

“I just have to. If I don’t trust him, what’s the point in us having a relationship?”

“There’s a lot of reasons why you guys shouldn’t have a relationship, Kurt, but trust issues don’t even crack the top 10.”

Kurt sighed. “Just drive.”

* * *

Kurt left therapy feeling confused. His therapist, Dr Lee, had listened to him talk about his relationship with Blaine, his feelings about the loss of his dad, his friendship with Sebastian and the New Directions. She told him that his relationship with Blaine is unhealthy, though Kurt struggled to believe her. He tuned out as she explained why and instead thought about why his relationship with Blaine was _good_.

He met Finn in the waiting room. “Hey,” his brother said, “how was it?”

“Fine,” Kurt said. “Thanks for waiting.”

“Anytime, little brother,” Finn said, ruffling Kurt’s hair. “How about we swing by McDonald's or something on the way home?”

“Sure,” Kurt grabbed Finn’s arm. “You’re the best big brother ever, you know that?”

Finn smiled. “And you’re the best little brother ever. No matter how annoying you are.”

* * *

A few days went by with no mention of the intervention, and Kurt had almost forgotten about it. It wasn’t until Kurt received a picture from Blaine, showing the huge cuts and bruises on his face from the fight, that he stormed downstairs and remembered it, because Finn, Rachel, Santana, and Brittany were gathered in the living room. 

“Kurt, could you please-“ Rachel began.

“Not now,” Kurt spat, storming out of the house. 

* * *

He got in his car and angrily drove until he reached Puck’s house. He knocked loudly on the door and was still as mad when Puck answered.

“Kurt, what are you-“

“Shut up, Puckerman! What were you thinking, fighting my boyfriend?! You could have seriously hurt him!” he yelled, backing Puck into his house.

“He deserved it!” 

“Why?!”

“He cheated on you-“

“That was a misunderstanding!”

“That’s not all he’s done, Kurt. And you know that but you just ignore it!”

“It’s my business, not yours! You had no right!”

“You’re my friend-“

“I’m not your property!”

“Did you just come here to yell at me?” Puck asked, no longer shouting.

Kurt went back to his normal voice as well. “I- I think so.”

“Look, I’m sorry that I beat up your boyfriend, but he deserved it.”

“You had no right to intervene. You could have ruined our relationship.”

Puck snorted. “Like I could make it any worse.”

“Fine, you’re clearly not gonna take this seriously, so I’m just gonna go,” Kurt said.

“No, wait- I’m sorry. Look, I know I took it too far, and maybe I was a little rough on him, but I was trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need you to protect me!”

“Clearly, you do! You don’t see what he’s doing to you, and if you let this go on, I don’t know what’s going to happen to you. I care about you, Kurt.”

“I don’t need you to protect me,” Kurt repeated, his tone smaller. “I’m going, and if I get home and there’s an intervention there, I’m going to kill everyone.”

* * *

As soon as Kurt walked into his house, Santana shoved him into a chair. 

“Welcome,” Rachel said, “to the Blaine-tervention.”

“Nope,” Kurt said.

“Just hear us out, Kurt,” Finn said.

“Fine. I guess that you’ve all prepared speeches or something?”

“Yup. We’ve all taken an aspect of Blaine being a bad boyfriend, and then we’re going to recite it to you.”

“Fine. Brittany, you start.”

Brittany smiled and pulled a post-it note out of her pocket. She cleared her throat and said, “Kurt, I love you, but when you’re with Blaine it makes you sad. And when you’re sad, I’m sad. I don’t want to be sad. Please break up with Blaine. I want you to be happy.”

“Well, this is going to be great,” Kurt scoffed.

“Kurt, be nice! Brittany worked on that all week,” Santana snapped. “Brittany, that was amazing. Thank you.”

“They were more Lord Tubbington’s words than mine,” Brittany said.

“Whos next? God, I can’t wait to see what Rachel’s prepared.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Why are we doing this for him again,” she hissed to Finn. “He’s being a jerk.”

“You know he’s not being himself. Give him the doubt of the benefit or whatever.”

“Fine.” She turned back to Kurt, smiling. “Kurt, I would like to talk to you about Blaine’s supportiveness through your dad’s passing. The fact is... he hasn’t. He’s been nothing but selfish the entire time, and that’s not what a good boyfriend would do, is it?”

“It’s not his fault-“

“Kurt, you know that’s not true. And it’s obvious it’s taken an effect on you. You need someone who can comfort you. Blaine is the most self-absorbed person I’ve ever met. And that’s coming from me.”

Kurt didn’t say anything, so Rachel gestured for Santana to go next.

“Okay, Hummel,” she said, “I’m gonna be plain and simple here. A good relationship doesn’t include one of the people trying to force the other to have sex with them. Multiple. Times. And to be fair, if he wants it so bad, do you really think he would stay with you if you refuse to do it with him? Do you honestly believe he isn’t getting any on the side?”

“Santana, you’re kinda taking my point,” Finn cut in.

“Go on, Finn,” Kurt said. “I really hope you guys saved the best for last because if not, this whole thing is just a huge waste of time.”

Finn sighed. “Kurt, Blaine has been lying to you this entire time-“

“About what?”

“He’s not being loyal, he’s being dishonest about who he’s been hanging out with-“

“For a reason-“

“A stupid, made-up reason. How can you believe anything he says?”

“Do I have a reason not to?”

Finn didn’t say anything so Kurt stood up. “Is that it then?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Finn muttered. “ _You_ got anything to say?”

“Just that you guys should focus less on my relationship with Blaine, and more on your presentation skills.” Kurt started to walk towards the stairs when Santana grabbed his arm.

“Wait just a minute, Kurt! Do you really have nothing to say here; not even a thank you? We all went out of our way to _help_ you-“

“I didn’t ask you to!”

“I can’t believe I actually cared about you!” Santana yelled. “You know what, go be with Blaine. You guys deserve each other.” 

* * *

Kurt climbed out of his window and sat on the roof. He needed fresh air, but he didn’t want to go back downstairs. 

“They’re all wrong,” he whispered to himself. “Blaine is a good person and he cares about me. He wouldn’t cheat.”

* * *

Blaine slid into the booth, sitting beside David. 

“Hey, gorgeous,” Blaine said, flashing David a flirtatious grin.

“Stop, we’re in public.” David laughed.

“Oh, please, we’re in a gay bar, I could top you right now and no one would bat an eye.”

“That’s not exactly true-“

“Shh, you know when you correct me it makes me want to kiss you.”

David leaned closer. “Not true. I didn’t know that.”

Blaine laughed and kissed David. “Stop,” David said. “I need to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“Are we dating?”

Blaine paused. The answer to this question would change everything for him. If Kurt found out, he may be able to forgive all the hookups, but if he actually dated David... that would make even someone as naïeve and pathetic as Kurt leave him. But Kurt wouldn’t find out, would he? Not when Blaine was so careful. “Yeah,” Blaine said. “We are.”

* * *

“That went well,” Rachel said sarcastically after Kurt had gone upstairs.

“You see what I mean?” Brittany spoke up. “He’s not being himself. Kurt wouldn’t normally act like that.”

“Blaine used to be alright,” Santana chimed in. “Now he isn’t. Maybe the same thing happened to Kurt. As I said, they were made for each other.”

“Santana!” Finn snapped. “You shouldn’t have said that. You’re just making him think he deserves what Blaine does to him.”

“I don’t care what happens to Kurt. _He_ had no right to treat _us_ like that.”

“You must care about Kurt a little,” Rachel said. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be so upset over it.”

“Whatever.”

“Maybe we should try again,” Finn suggested. “He might hear us out this time.”

Santana rolled her eyes. “You really think I’m going to just walk into that dragon cage?” she sneered. “Why do _you_ care so much, Finn? Hasn’t he treated you the worst?”

“I care because he’s my brother. And I want the old Kurt back. I don’t care how many times he yells at me or has a breakdown; if I can get him to be happy again, it’ll be worth it.”

* * *

There was a knock on Kurt’s door but he didn’t hear it. Someone was shouting his name from the other side but he didn’t hear that, either. Someone busted his door open but he didn’t hear that.

What he did hear was when Finn rushed right up to the window and yelled his name.

Kurt turned around and climbed closer to the window so that Finn could see him. “What?” he said.

“Oh, thank God!” Finn said, breathless. “I knocked and shouted you, and you didn’t answer. Then I came in and saw your window was open and- oh God, I was so worried.”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt murmured.

“Can you come in, please? We need to talk to you.”

Kurt nodded and climbed back inside, noticing that Rachel, Brittany, and Santana were sat on his bed. He jumped onto the floor but he stayed near the window. 

“Santana,” he muttered, “guys... I’m sorry about what happened. I didn’t appreciate what you guys did for me. It means a lot.”

“It’s fine, Kurt,” Santana replied. “I shouldn’t have said what I said either. No one deserves to be treated the way Blaine treats you.”

“W- What did you guys need to talk to me about?”

“I’ve just got one question for you, Kurt,” Finn said. “Are you happy?”

* * *

When David led Blaine back up to his room, Blaine had only one thought on his mind: was he going to finally get laid? 

He didn’t actually mind the set-up. Kurt could be his emotional boyfriend, who he vented to and went on dates with. David could be his fun boyfriend, who would sleep with him and give him affection. The best part of it all? He got double the attention.

David sat down on his bed and pulled Blaine onto his lap. They started kissing again, only this time it was more passionate. David didn’t stop Blaine from unbuttoning his shirt, and Blaine sighed in relief when it was finally off. He pushed David back and then climbed on top of him.

He was certain now.

He was most definitely going to get laid.

* * *

“Happy? Of course I’m happy.” Kurt laughed, despite the question not being at all funny.

“Are you sure, Kurt? Because the way you’ve been acting out, getting annoyed easily, crying, and what happened last week,” Finn said, ignoring the questioning looks from the girls, “that’s not how a happy person would act.”

“It was just a rough patch.”

“I think Blaine’s the rough patch,” Santana commented.

“Relationships are complicated,” Kurt replied. 

“Your relationship with Blaine isn’t complicated, Kurt. It’s toxic. And it’s only going to get worse.”

“Finn, I- I...”

“Why won’t you leave him? I need you to be genuinely honest right now.”

“I love him.”

“But do you love _being_ with him?”

“I did...”

“It’s exactly what I thought,” Santana voiced. “You stay with him because you hope he’ll turn back into the person he was last year. Guess what, Kurt, on the slight chance that could ever happen, it definitely won’t if you don’t correct his behaviour. You’re letting him get away with so much that you’re normalising him being abusive to you.”

Kurt didn’t say anything. No one said anything. But when Kurt started to cry, Finn walked across the room and hugged him. “It’ll be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser for the next chapter:
> 
> [Blaine rolled his eyes. If this was how Kurt was going to behave, maybe he just wouldn’t leave David after all.]


	11. It’s  A Yeet Or Be Yeeted World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Blaine still absent from school, Kurt has to choose another partner for his duet.

Puck gently knocked on Kurt’s bedroom door and was surprised when Kurt opened it. He was more surprised when Kurt didn’t send him away.

“Puck.”

“Kurt.” Puck cleared his throat. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“So, uh, it’s been a few days since I last saw you. You doing okay?”

“I’m fine.” Kurt shrugged. “You?”

“I’m good, yeah. Can I talk to you?” 

“Sure.” Kurt took a step back so Puck could enter his room. They both sat next to each other on Kurt’s bed. “What did you want to talk about?”

“We left things pretty bad last time.”

Kurt looked down guiltily. “That’s true.”

“I guess that I am sorry about what I did to Blaine. I probably went too far; but you didn’t hear what he said about you.”

Kurt nodded. “I’m sorry for yelling at you and for saying all that stuff. I should’ve heard you out.”

“I’m sorry for assuming that you can’t protect yourself against Blaine. You’re the strongest person I know; if anyone can handle Blaine, it’s you.”

“I could totally beat you up in a fight,” Kurt murmured.

Puck chuckled and put his arm around Kurt. “I know you could.”

* * *

That Friday, Sebastian met Kurt at his locker. “Walk me to Glee?” he asked.

Kurt nodded. “Sure.” 

Blaine was still suspended from school, so the two of them were safe to hang out without the threat of Blaine getting violent. 

They sat next to each other in Glee and when Mr Shue assigned them to sing a duet on Monday, Sebastian asked Kurt to work with him.

“Sure,” Kurt said. Blaine wasn’t there, so it wasn’t like he could work with him. Blaine had no reason to get mad, right?

“What song shall we do?”

Kurt thought for a minute, knowing he had to choose wisely. If he made the wrong choice, Blaine could get seriously mad at him. “I don’t know, we’ll talk about it later, okay? Wanna come over tonight or something?”

“Sure, text me when.”

* * *

“ _Broken Strings_?” Kurt repeated, staring at Sebastian. 

“Yeah, you know it?” 

“I do,” Kurt said. “Isn’t it a little... break-up-y? Maybe we should do something happier?”

“Kurt, we’ve been brainstorming for 2 hours now. The song’s easy to learn so let’s just do it.”

Kurt sighed. “Okay, I guess. Do you want a drink?”

“Yes, please.”

Kurt left his bedroom, leaving Sebastian alone. He picked up his phone and dialled Santana’s number. “Santana?”

“ _Yeah?_ ”

“We’re doing the song.”

“ _Great! Make sure to help him think about how the song applies to him and Blaine._ ”

“San, I feel bad about this. Isn’t it manipulating him?”

“ _It’s better to do that than to leave him in the relationship with Blaine_.”

“I don’t know. What if it backfires?”

“ _I’ll take the blame. Besides, this benefits you, too_.”

“How?”

“ _I’ve seen the way you look at Kurt. You totally have a crush on him_.” Santana laughed.

“I do not!” Sebastian exclaimed. “Crushes are pathetic and gross. And Kurt? No. He’s just my friend. I don’t do relationships.”

“ _Whatever you say. I’ll remember you said that when I’m at your guy’s wedding_.”

“Bye, Santana,” Sebastian said, hanging up. He sighed and laid back on Kurt’s bed.

Kurt chuckled when he reentered his bedroom and saw Sebastian’s position. “Tired?”

“I’m a teenager; I don’t have a normal sleep schedule,” Sebastian muttered, closing his eyes.

“I could use a nap too.” Kurt yawned. Over the past few days, he had had too _much_ sleep. He flopped onto his bed beside Sebastian, facing away from him.

* * *

Sebastian woke up to Kurt in his arms, still asleep. At first, he found the position to be cute, but when he recalled what Santana had said earlier, he pushed Kurt away. He didn’t like Kurt _that_ way.

Kurt whined at the harsh gesture and shot up. “What was that for?” he mumbled.

“Y- You scared me.”

“You know, Seb, I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but ‘scary’ is not one of them.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Kurt laughed. “Just be more gentle next time.”

_ Next time? _ So they were going to sleep in the same bed again? “Sure,” Sebastian replied nonchalantly.

“Okay, so what happened before we fell asleep?” Kurt asked, struggling to recollect if they had made any progress on their duet.

“We decided to do _Broken Strings_.”

“Oh yeah.” Kurt stretched. “So, what part do you want?”

“I’ll do the _Nelly Furtado_ lines.”

“You sure?” Kurt was surprised as it was the first time he had willingly been given a male lead to his recollection.

“Yeah. It’s your Glee Club, I don’t wanna take over. Besides, I like your voice. You should have the bigger part.”

“Okay,” Kurt managed to reply casually, but inside, he was overcome with joy. Blaine had never been as generous. “Do you have, uh, an instrumental of the song or anything? I don’t play any instruments.”

“Me neither. I’ll find one on YouTube, hang on.” Sebastian once again grabbed his phone, and noticed the time. “Shall we have one run through? I have to be home by 10.”

“Yeah. Do you want to come over again tomorrow?”

“You can come to mine if you want,” Sebastian offered. “My mom will be home but she’s okay once she gets to know whoever’s over.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Sebastian pressed play and, after skipping 2 ads, the intro for the song played.

Kurt, using his lower voice, began singing,

_ Let me hold you for the last time _

_ It's the last chance to feel again _

_ But you broke me _

_ Now I can't feel anything _ -

Kurt was cut off when his phone started to ring. “It’s Blaine,” he said. “I gotta get this, I’ll be right back.”

He left the room and answered the call. “What’s up?”

“ _What movie do you wanna see tomorrow?_ ”

“Tomorrow? I’m sorry, I’m busy tomorrow,” Kurt replied.

“ _What happened to a day for the two of us?_ ”

Kurt facepalmed. He had forgotten all about it. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m all yours tomorrow, I swear. And surprise me with the movie.”

“ _Okay, great! I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you_.”

“Love you too.” He sighed and went back into his room. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I can’t do tomorrow. How’s Sunday?”

“That’s cool,” Sebastian said, shrugging. Kurt appreciated how he respected his privacy. “Shall we run through now?”

“Yeah, definitely. From the top...”

* * *

Kurt picked Blaine up outside of his house at 10am. They left his car in the Anderson’s driveway and walked to the park, holding hands.

After walking around for a while, they settled down on a bench, just like how they did in the summer. But things were different now.

“Do you ever miss how we were last year?” Kurt voiced.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, how we were so overly in love with each other and could barely go a day without seeing one another?”

“Isn’t that how we are now?”

_ Maybe to you _ , Kurt thought. “Yeah, yeah, I guess. Maybe it’s because you’re at McKinley now.”

“Is this your way of telling me you want to move schools?”

“What? No, that’s the opposite of what I want,” Kurt said quickly. He didn’t want to make Blaine mad. Not today. “I love you and I want you around all the time.”

“Good.” Blaine leaned forward and kissed Kurt’s nose. “Because I want you around all the time too.”

Kurt smiled and leaned on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “I wonder what things will be like next year.”

“They could be like this,” Blaine said. 

“How? I’ll be at college.”

“What if you didn’t go to college?”

“Why wouldn’t I go to college?” Kurt laughed nervously.

“Well, you could skip a year. Get some experience, save some money. Then we could move to New York together and I’ll go to some acting school or something and you could get a job and do some plays.”

“Y- You really have this all thought out,” was all Kurt could say. He didn’t want that life at all. “So, what, you’d be famous and a star and I’d be your trophy wife?”

“If that’s what you want.” Blaine clearly wasn’t getting the hint.

“It’s not what I want!” Kurt exclaimed. “I want to go to college next year, and I want to star in Broadway shows, and I want to leave Lima as soon as I can. I can’t have you holding me back, Blaine.”

Blaine froze. This sounded like it was leading up to a breakup. “I- I don’t want to hold you back,” he lied. “I want what’s best for you. That was just one possibility.”

“I don’t want that kind of life to even be a possibility.”

“Okay, then it won’t be. You can be a star, Kurt. We can both be.”

* * *

They walked out of the movie still holding onto each other. Kurt was certain more now than ever that his relationship with Blaine was good; they had spent the entire day almost argument free and had gotten along great.

It was just like the old days.

Blaine felt his heart drop when he saw David leaving the opposite theatre. He was so close to his two boyfriends colliding and, if he wasn’t careful, he could lose them both. He steered Kurt away from the exit and turned them around.

“What are you doing?” Kurt asked, looking over his shoulder to see if he could spot the issue.

“Uh, I need to use the bathroom,” Blaine lied, hastily pulling Kurt into the men’s room.

“Oh, okay. I’ll wait here.”

In the stall, Blaine panicked. What if David had seen him? Or worse, what if he saw him with _Kurt_?! There was no way he could lie out of that situation. And what if David told Kurt about it? Knowing he couldn’t hide away forever, he slowly opened the door. He caught a glimpse of Kurt’s face through the crack and immediately shut it again. Kurt looked... happy. It was a look that Blaine hadn’t seen on his boyfriend in a long time.

He couldn’t risk letting Kurt get hurt.

He had to end it with David.

He opened the door fully this time, a smile on his face. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” Kurt instinctively intertwined his fingers with Blaine’s.

“Today was great.”

“It was,” Kurt agreed.

“Do you want to do something tomorrow?”

“I can’t; I have to finish my duet.”

“Duet?”

“Yeah, while you were gone on Friday, Mr Shue told us we have to do a duet. Whoever wins gets to do the duet at Regionals.”

“Who are you working with?”

“Sebastian.”

“Oh,” Blaine couldn’t mask the frustration from his tone. “Fun.”

“Are you mad?” Kurt asked, a little afraid. 

“No, no. It’s just, I assumed that if you were going to do a duet with a _guy_ , it would be your boyfriend.”

“I know but you weren’t there and he asked me. We’re only doing it as friends.”

“Friends? Kurt, you don’t have guy friends.”

“I do.” Kurt couldn’t help but feel hurt at the statement. “I have Finn, and Puck, and Sam, _and_ Sebastian.”

“Finn’s your brother, he’s forced to be friends with you. Sam doesn’t even go to school with you anymore. Puck is just trying to sleep with you. And Sebastian... he’s probably just trying to sleep with you too.”

“That’s not true!” Kurt exclaimed, pulling his hand back. “How could you say those things?”

“We both know they’re true, Kurt. Let’s be honest here, you’ll never be as close with the guys as I am. You’re better off painting your nails with the girls.”

“Do you have any idea how _offensive_ that is?! Just because I’m more feminine doesn’t mean I can’t be close with them.”

“Weren’t those guys bullying you like 2 years ago?”

Kurt bit his lip. That was true. “People change.”

“Just because they changed doesn’t mean they like you.”

_ They do like me _ , Kurt thought. _If they didn’t then they wouldn’t go out of their way to help me_. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shot back. He stalked away from Blaine then, feeling furious. 

Of course, his car was all the way back at Blaine’s house. They were supposed to be taking a cab back there, and Blaine was supposed to be paying, so of course, Kurt didn’t have his wallet.

And of course, a quarter of the way back to Blaine’s, it started raining. 

And of course, Kurt didn’t have an umbrella.

So, when he finally made it back to his car, he was drenched, freezing, and mad. 

* * *

By the time Kurt got back home, he had calmed down but wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone, so, he said a quick hi to Finn and then went up to his room. 

Later that night, Finn knocked on his door. “Dinner’s ready,” he said.

“Can I ask you something?” Kurt asked, sitting up.

“Sure.”

“Are you only friends with me because I’m your brother?”

“Dude, of course not.” Finn laughed. “We were friends long before our parents got married.”

Kurt nodded. “That’s what I thought. And is Puck only friends with me because he’s trying to sleep with me?”

“Puck’s trying to sleep with you?” Finn asked, highly concerned. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Kurt chuckled, sliding past Finn to leave his room.

“Kurt, is he trying to have sex with you? Because if he is, I’ll kill him. Kurt? Don’t walk away from me. You’re my little brother, he can’t-“

* * *

The next day, Kurt apprehensively knocked on Sebastian’s front door. He knew he was nervous- the house was huge and fancy. Way more intimidating than Blaine’s.

A woman with a friendly face opened it. “You must be Kurt!” she exclaimed, pulling him into a huge hug.

“Yeah,” Kurt breathed, feeling overwhelmed by the intimacy. The woman, who he assumed was Sebastian’s mom, reminded Kurt a lot of his own mom. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too, sweetheart,” she said.

“Mom, stop trying to crush my friend's spine, please.”

Kurt looked over the woman’s shoulder to see Sebastian stood, waving at him.

“Okay, sweetie,” Sebastian’s mom finally released Kurt. “It’s just so nice to meet a friend of yours that isn’t Nick.”

“I’m sure it is,” Sebastian replied, his tone slightly teasing. He nodded at Kurt. “Wanna go upstairs?”

“Yeah,” Kurt said, waving goodbye to Sebastian’s mom. “Your mom is really nice,” he told Sebastian once they were out of her earshot.

“She is... just sometimes she can be a bit much.”

“How so?”

“She tried so hard to homeschool me instead of letting me go to McKinley just because she thought that me going to a public school would be bad for my dad’s image. It can be really annoying sometimes-“ he stopped himself when he realised what he was saying. “I- I’m sorry, I know I’m lucky to have parents and all-“

“Don’t. It’s okay,” Kurt reassured him.

Sebastian opened the door to his bedroom, and Kurt was surprised by how casual it was. It was painted a basic blue, a double bed against the back wall, a desk to the side, a large wardrobe, and a couch in the corner. 

“Couch or bed?” Sebastian asked.

“Oh, uh, whichever you want.”

Sebastian shrugged and carelessly flopped down onto the couch. “I’ve got the backing track ready; you wanna start?” 

“Um, yeah, yeah.” Kurt couldn’t help but notice that Sebastian was being slightly off with him. The conversation between them was stiff and Sebastian seemed like he couldn’t wait for Kurt to leave. 

Kurt started singing and, just like he had been on Friday, Sebastian was mesmerised. He didn’t notice that he was staring until Kurt said, “You’re supposed to take the next verse.”

“Right, sorry,” Sebastian rewound the video back to where he was supposed to start. He sang his solo lines, then sang the rest together with Kurt.

They had 3 more successful practices until Kurt said, “I should get going.”

“What? You’ve only been here for half an hour,” Sebastian pointed out.

“Yeah, but I have Blaine coming over later and then Sam’s moving back in...”

“Oh, okay.” Sebastian tried to hide his disappointment.

“I’ll see you later though. We can have a quick run through Monday morning if we get to school early enough.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Kurt wasn’t sure why he did what he did next. Maybe it was because Sebastian looked so disappointed, or because the affection from Sebastian’s mom earlier still had an effect on him, but he leaned over and pulled Sebastian into a hug. “Bye,” he whispered.

“Bye, Kurt.”

* * *

Kurt was casually laid on his bed when Blaine walked into his bedroom. Blaine was noticeably annoyed but Kurt wasn’t sure why.

“Are you going to apologise?”

_ What?! Blaine wants me to apologise _ , Kurt thought with disbelief. “For what?”

“You left me yesterday! I had to go home by myself! Why did you leave me?”

“You insulted the hell out of me! And by the way, none of what you said was true.”

“I don’t see how what I said was wrong-”

“Okay, Blaine, you need to get this through your thick, gelled skull-”

And after that comment, Blaine completely tuned Kurt out. Kurt was ranting about how Blaine was wrong and offensive, and when Kurt wasn’t looking, Blaine rolled his eyes. If this was how Kurt was going to behave, maybe he just wouldn’t leave David after all. Who did Kurt think he was? Telling Blaine how to act. Blaine had the right to behave how he wanted, and no one, especially not the sensitive little Kurt Hummel was going to control him.

Eventually, Kurt took a deep breath and glared at Blaine. He looked seriously annoyed- maybe Blaine had done something wrong after all? He would have to play this right to get back on Kurt’s good side.

“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t know I upset you that much,” Blaine said softly. He opened his arms and pulled Kurt into a hug, stroking his back. 

Kurt sighed, seeming more hurt than angry. “Just think about your words next time, okay? Other people may not be as forgiving as me.”

“Okay,” Blaine said, but he wasn’t really paying attention. He was thinking about how he needs to definitely pursue acting as a career because God did he have Kurt fooled.


	12. Broken Strings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian’s duet leads to Blaine making a threat and Sebastian coming to a realisation. One of Blaine’s secrets comes out, leading to a very difficult conversation.

Kurt and Sebastian were the first to perform their duet. It took only one look at Blaine's face to make Kurt nervous. 

The two of them stood on opposite sides of the piano, staring into each other's eyes.

Kurt took a deep breath and began singing, 

_Let me hold you, for the last time_

_It's the last chance to feel again_

_But you broke me, now I can't feel anything_

_When I love you, it's so untrue_

_I can't even convince myself_

_When I'm speaking, it's the voice of someone else_

_Oh it tears me up_

_I try to hold on, but it hurts too much_

_I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay_

_You can't play on broken strings_

_You can't feel anything_

_That your heart don't want to feel_

_I can't tell you something that ain't real_

_Oh the truth hurts_

_And lies worse_

_How can I give anymore_

_When I love you a little less than before_

Sebastian came in,

_Oh what are we doing_

_We are turning into dust_

_Playing house in the ruins of us_

They harmonised together,

_Running back through the fire_

_When there's nothing left to save_

_It's like chasing the very last train_

_When it's too late_

_Oh it tears me up_

_I try to hold on, but it hurts too much_

_I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay_

_You can't play on broken strings_

_You can't feel anything_

_That your heart don't want to feel_

_I can't tell you something that ain't real_

_Well the truth hurts_

_And lies worse_

_How can I give anymore_

_When I love you a little less than before_

_But we're running through the fire_

_When there's nothing left to save_

_It's like chasing the very last train_

_When we both know it's too late_

Y _ou can't play on broken strings_

_You can't feel anything_

_That your heart don't want to feel_

_I can't tell you something that ain't real,_

_Well truth hurts_

_And lies worse_

_How can I give anymore_

_When I love you a little less than before_

_Let me hold you, for the last time_

_It's the last chance to feel again_

They were both still staring at each other when everyone began to clap, excluding Blaine.

"Kurt..." Sebastian whispered. He was going to say more but Mr Shue spoke instead. 

"That was great, guys. Good job. I think it's going to be tough to beat."

"Thanks," Kurt and Sebastian said together. They went back to their seats, Kurt sitting beside Blaine.

"What did you think?" Kurt whispered, pretending to watch Finn and Rachel go to the front. 

_What the hell was that, Kurt? You two were practically undressing each other with your eyes. And why were you singing lead? That should've been Sebastian's part; we all know that you should've had the girl lines. And what was with the song choice? A breakup song? Are you being serious? I think you should apologise to everyone in this room for giving us earache_ , was what he wanted to say. But they were in public and after what had happened on Sunday, Blaine wasn't in the mood to see what would happen if he said all that. "It was great. I can see why you wanted to duet with Sebastian," he whispered back. He wouldn't be voting for them.

Through the rest of the class, each member performed a duet with another, minus Sam, Puck, and Blaine, who were absent when the assignment was set.

"Okay, you guys are going to vote for who you think was the best performer. And to make sure none of you vote for yourselves, I've printed out individual cards for you all without your names as an option," Mr Shue announced. He handed out all the cards.

Kurt quickly voted for Santana and Brittany; they were definitely the best performers in his opinion. He hated to admit it, but Rachel hadn't been her best in that duet. Unable to help himself, he snuck a glance at Blaine's card. He was disappointed and hurt to see that his boyfriend had voted for Rachel and Finn.

Mr Shue collected back the cards, and after counting up the scores, he said, "Okay, I just want to say, you guys all did well, and-"

"Just say who won!" Santana yelled, clapping her hands. 

Mr Shue sighed. "Kurt and Sebastian, you guys got 7 votes. Brittany and Santana, you guys got 4. Finn and Rachel, 2. Trent and Rory, also 2. The rest of you guys got 1."

"Wait," Rachel said. " _Kurt and Sebastian_ won? Not Finn and I?"

"That seems to be the case," Kurt mumbled.

"But I still get a duet at Regionals, right?"

"No, Rachel. It goes to Kurt and Sebastian, as it should do." Santana winked at the boys. 

"But that's not fair!" 

"Rachel, that's enough. They won, so they get the duet," Mr Shue said firmly.

"But-"

"Enough!"

"Actually, Mr Shue, I agree with Rachel," Blaine said. 

"Blaine, what are you doing?" Kurt hissed. 

"I'm just saying, it's Rachel's final year and she's our best chance at winning. Besides, a male and male duet probably won't sit right with the judges. We don't want to lose just because of Kurt and Sebastian."

"Are you kidding, Blaine?" Santana snapped. 

"I just don't want us to lose because-"

"No, you just don't want them to perform because: A) you're jealous of Sebastian, B) you're jealous that you won't get a solo _ever_ , and C) you're so damn controlling of Kurt that you don't want him to do anything without you."

"Santana, that's enough," Mr Shue ordered. "Blaine, I appreciate your concerns but Kurt and Sebastian won fair and square, so they will be doing the duet. And I don't want to hear any more complaints from anybody or you'll be suspended from Glee for the rest of the week. I'll see you all tomorrow, you're dismissed."

No one said anything as they grabbed their bags and flooded out of the room. Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm when they were in the hallway. "What was that about? Do you not want me to sing at Regionals or something?"

"I never said _you_ shouldn't sing, just that you shouldn't sing with Sebastian. It'd be better if you'd sing with someone like Rachel, then we'd actually stand a chance at winning."

Kurt ignored the "actually stand a chance at winning" jab, and focused on the "shouldn't sing with Sebastian" part. "I'm singing with Sebastian."

"Look, if you absolutely have to sing with a guy, why not with me?"

Kurt couldn't help but wonder if that had been Blaine's plan all along. "Sebastian and I won together, it would be wrong to leave him." He hesitated before deciding to speak the truth. "Besides, I don't want to sing with you."

"Why?" Blaine sounded more angry than hurt.

"Because this is my final year, and my first chance to sing at a competition with the New Directions. And when I sing with you, you make it all about yourself."

"We always sing equal parts!"

"You still take over. You make it so people can only hear you. When I sing with Sebastian, no one gets noticed more."

"Maybe that's because I'm a better singer than you!"

Kurt paused, making sure his voice wouldn't show how upset he really was. "Even if that was true, that still wouldn't make you in the right."

* * *

The next day at school, Blaine followed Sebastian into the bathroom. 

"Sebastian," Blaine said coldly.

The other boy turned around, an exhausted look on his face. "Blaine."

"I'm going to make this very clear to you right now," Blaine growled, getting in Sebastian's face. "Kurt is _my_ boyfriend- not yours! So, back out of the duet with him."

"And why would I do that?"

"Do you want to know a fun fact, Sebastian? Your father works for _my_ father. And the only reason why you're in Ohio now is that my father relocated you. So, you can either drop out of the duet or I'll get you sent somewhere else. Somewhere away from Kurt," Blaine revealed. 

Sebastian felt his heart drop. That couldn't be true, could it? "I'm just being nice to him. There's no harm in that. And there's no harm in us doing a duet."

"Oh, please," Blaine spat. "I saw the way you two were looking at each other during that duet. It is so obvious that you like him-"

"I do not!"

"Keep lying to yourself then. You have until the end of the week to drop out or you can start packing your bags. Literally." Blaine turned on his heel and strode out of the bathroom.

"But Regionals aren't until January-"

"I want you to end things with Kurt. Stop trying to steal him from me." He slammed the door behind him.

Sebastian stood there in shock. Blaine's father was his father's boss? Blaine could make Sebastian move away? He had to drop out of the duet with Kurt? Blaine thought he liked Kurt? 

Did he like Kurt? Of course not. Sebastian didn't do relationships and Kurt certainly wasn't an acceptation to that rule. No matter how cute... attractive... talented... sweet... caring... incredible he was.

Sebastian most certainly didn't have feelings for Kurt. Just because Sebastian wouldn't mind kissing Kurt or hanging out with him all the time, and he missed when Kurt wasn't around and wished that he could have everything he ever wanted, that didn't mean he wanted to _date_ Kurt. 

Kurt was too good for Sebastian anyway. Kurt was the nicest person in the world, and Sebastian? Sebastian just broke hearts and played with guy's feelings. 

Kurt would never settle for someone like Sebastian. So, why did that fact bother him so much? Knowing that no matter what, Kurt would never feel the same...

 _Feel the same?_ Sebastian thought. _Where did that come from?_

"Crap," Sebastian whispered. "I have feelings for Kurt."

* * *

Sebastian was hanging out with some of the other Glee kids (thankfully not Kurt nor Blaine) when he heard something that caught his attention.

He had just been pondering over his newly discovered feelings for the aforementioned brunet, half-listening-half-not to the conversation Tina and Sam were having. That was when said conversion turned to the topic of 'Klaine' (Sebastian cringed at the ship name).

"I can't believe Kurt and Blaine have been together for almost 8 months," Sam observed, though his tone made Sebastian wonder if Sam was as much against Kurt being with Blaine as he was.

"I know! I swear, they're like the longest-running couple we've had in a long time," Tina replied.

"Uh." Sebastian cleared his throat. "Did-Did you say 8 months?"

"Yeah," Tina responded.

"As in, since March?" 

"Yeah. Why?"

Sebastian looked at the two with horror-filled eyes. "They, uh, didn't happen to be on a break or something during the summer?"

"Not that we know of," Sam answered.

"Oh crap," Sebastian whispered. So, not only had Blaine lied to him about not being a virgin, but he had also lied about his relationship. Blaine had cheated on Kurt. With him. Sebastian had helped Blaine cheat.

"Everything okay?" Sam asked, looking at Sebastian with concern.

"Um, in the summer, uh, Blaine and I hooked up," Sebastian admitted.

"What?!" Tina gasped.

"He- He told me he was single, I swear! I never would have done it if I'd have known he was with Kurt. I didn't even know Kurt then!"

"Sebastian, you have to tell Kurt," Sam told him.

"I know."

"Well, go do it then!"

Sebastian nodded and jumped out of his seat, making his way to the exit. He got in his car and began to drive when he realised that Kurt wouldn't be home yet. And besides, he had no idea what he was going to say to his friend when he did see him. How could you explain you slept with their boyfriend without knowing he was cheating? 

So instead of turning into Kurt's street, he kept driving straight forward, making his way home. 

* * *

Blaine did the opposite. Instead of going back home to Westerville, he decided to pay his boyfriend a visit. Not Kurt- David. He had spent all day with Kurt, and the sickly-sweet-caring-boyfriend act that he had to fake all day had made him exhausted. He needed some release. 

After David's mom had let Blaine into her house, Blaine went upstairs to David's room. David was sat at his desk, facing away from Blaine. He used this to his advantage, sneaking forward and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. "Working hard, babe?" Blaine teased, taking the pencil out of David's hand and dropping it on the table.

"Don't you know it,” David replied. He spun his chair around, allowing Blaine to sit in his lap. "How was your day?"

"Pretty rough. I had to spend most of it with Kurt; he's so clingy. He's acting as if I ended it."

"I hope you're not going to take him back."

"Why would I? I have the best boyfriend right here." Blaine leaned forward and planted a kiss on David's cheek. It was true; while Blaine had more of an emotional connection to Kurt, he found himself favouring the time he spent with David more than the time he spent with Kurt. It was mostly because time with David was more fun. And had fewer clothes.

"You're sweet." David blushed.

"Only for you."

* * *

Sebastian sat on his bed and sighed. He ripped out the page in his notebook and screwed it up. He threw it in the trash can, where all the other failed drafts were. He had spent the last hour trying to figure out what to say to Kurt and had come to the conclusion that no matter what he said, it only mattered that he _said_ it. A note was not the right direction. 

His mom knocked on his door and opened it without Sebastian giving her permission to. "Hi, sweetie. Everything okay?"

"Not really," Sebastian muttered.

"What's wrong? Did you get into trouble at school? Have you ruined your father's reputation-" 

"No, Mom. I- I have this secret and it's something that I have to tell my friend but I don't know how. It'll crush him."

"All you can do is be honest with him. Tell him what you have to, and hear him out. There's no easy way around this, Sebastian. You know that."

Sebastian nodded. "Thanks, Mom."

_Be honest. Tell him I slept with Blaine. Explain that he lied about being single. Hope he forgives me._

* * *

Finn paused the video game, earning a whine from Sam. "Can you repeat that?" 

Puck read the text again. "Tina said: Oh my God, you are never going to believe this. Sebastian slept with Blaine in the summer!"

Finn shook his head. "I _can't_ believe that! Blaine actually slept with Sebastian? He cheated on my little brother!" Finn said the last sentence threateningly. "And Sebastian did that?! He was supposed to be Kurt's friend."

Sam spoke up, "He didn't know Kurt at the time, and Blaine told him that he was single."

"Fine, I'll let him off. But Blaine..."

"I say we beat him up," Puck suggested.

"Because that put you in Kurt's good books the last time you did that?" Sam shook his head. "That'll just make Kurt hate us. We don't know if he's going to leave Blaine yet."

"You think he's going to stay with that jerk?" 

"Probably. All Blaine has to do is say he's sorry and Kurt will happily jump into his arms again."

"Does Kurt know?" Finn asked, praying he wouldn’t have to tell his brother.

"Not yet. Sebastian's going to do it," Sam told him.

* * *

Sebastian was halfway to Kurt's house when he heard his phone ring. He pulled over to the side of the road and answered it.

" _What the hell, Sebastian?! I thought we were friends!_ " Was the first thing he heard. Sebastian was a little scared at first, but then he identified the voice as Santana's and felt a little reassured.

"We are," he said calmly. "And what is this about?"

" _I know you slept with Blaine!_ "

 _Oh_. "Yeah, I did. But I never meant to hurt Kurt, Blaine told me-"

" _Yeah, yeah. I know all that. I'm mad because you didn't tell me about it yourself!_ "

 _Oh!_ "I know I should have, but it was the worst experience of my life. I was embarrassed. Blaine isn't the type of guy that I'd show off."

" _But Kurt is_."

It was as if Santana had read his mind. "Yeah," he whispered.

" _So, you've finally admitted it, huh? You like Kurt._ "

"I really do. Do you think I've screwed up any chance I have of being with him by hooking up with Blaine?"

" _No. Everyone has a past, and as you said, you weren't trying to hurt him. What you do now, however, will determine if you have a future with him or not._ "

"Who else knows about Blaine and me?"

" _Everyone but Blaine and Kurt. We all know you're going to be the one to tell him. How are you going to do it?_ "

"Blatant honesty. Do you think he'll forgive me?"

Santana laughed. " _Babe, he's forgiven way worse than that. You'll be fine._ "

* * *

Kurt heard someone knock on his door. _Not Finn_ , he thought. _Not Sam, either_. "Carole?" he asked.

"Sebastian."

"Oh, come in." Kurt watched Sebastian open the door, but he didn't come any closer. "Everything okay?"

"Um." Sebastian rubbed his neck and avoided eye contact. "Not really."

"What's wrong?" Kurt patted the empty space on his bed, hoping Sebastian would sit down. 

"I can't believe I have to be the one to tell you this," Sebastian still didn't move. "Blaine cheated on you."

Kurt looked confused for a minute, then laughed. "Seriously, did Santana put you up to this?"

"No, Kurt-"

"I mean, come on. If you're going to lie to make me break up with Blaine at least make it believable."

"Kurt-"

"He would never cheat on me," the humour in Kurt's voice was gone now, and it sounded as if he was trying to convince himself. "He wouldn't. He loves me."

"Kurt, it's true," Sebastian said gently.

"It's not. Santana's lying-"

"Santana didn't tell me."

"Then who did?"

"No one."

"Then how did you know?" Kurt's voice got more and more afraid with each question.

"Because..." Sebastian took a deep breath. _Please forgive me, Kurt_. "I was the one he slept with."


	13. I Don’t Need To Feel Love, I Just Wanna Feel Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt confronts Blaine about his infidelity. Santana comes up with a plan to expose Blaine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, apparently i missed a few updates. really sorry about that! i took a break from ao3 and was stupid enough to only mention it on my tumblr  
> thank you to all the comments asking about updates and i’m so sorry for only just replying  
> sooooo this chapter probably won’t be worth a 3 week (4?) wait but i promise it does get better after this chapter :)  
> love you all and again i’m really sorry about the wait!

“What?”

Sebastian wasn’t sure why, but that one word sent chills down his spine. It was clear that Kurt was mad- no, not mad. Furious. 

“You slept with Blaine?”

Sebastian still didn’t know what to respond with. He knew that he should say something, Kurt was getting angrier and angrier with each unanswered statement. Of course he would, Kurt had just had a huge bombshell dropped on him and he wasn’t getting any answers.

“Sebastian!”

“Yes, I did.” Okay, that probably wasn’t the right thing to say. He was just confirming Kurt’s worst fears, not explaining anything. He was digging himself into a deeper hole.

“Why?”

Sebastian hasn’t been expecting that. He had expected Kurt to yell at him or kick him out. Not for him to ask, in the calmest tone possible, “Why”

“I didn’t know you then and he told me that he was single.”

“That’s not answering the question. _Why_ did you sleep with _Blaine_?”

“I...” Why had he slept with Blaine? The Warblers had painted him out to be amazing. They said that despite his looks, no one could ever get him. “Because he was a challenge.”

“A challenge?” 

“He rejected everyone else,” Sebastian explained. “So I wanted him.”

“There was no emotional connection? You didn’t care about him?” Kurt sounded like he was in disbelief.

“No.”

“Why do you do this, Sebastian? Intimacy is supposed to mean something...”

“Not to everyone.”

“I don’t understand how you can throw yourself around like you don’t matter.” Kurt recalled his father's words to him, “You matter, Sebastian.”

Sebastian bit his lip. “Yeah. You’re right.”

“Did it make you feel better about yourself?”

“What?”

“Sleeping with Blaine. After you did it, did you feel better?”

Sebastian remembered the awful experience. And he remembered how, after, he had wanted nothing more than to take it back. And then he wanted nothing more than to get Blaine out of his life forever. “No,” he admitted. “It made me feel worse.”

Kurt sighed. “So, he really cheated on me.”

“I’m sorry, Kurt.”

“Can you go, please? I have to think over my life choices.”

Sebastian nodded, having expected the request to come at some point. “Of course. I’ll see you later.”

“Bye.” 

* * *

Numb. That was what Kurt felt. No matter how many times he thought about Blaine’s betrayal, he felt nothing. He wasn’t too surprised at what Blaine had done, and he had come to terms with the possibility that Blaine could cheat on him way back when he TP’d his house.

Kurt knew he had a very difficult conversation with Blaine ahead of him. It seemed like his life was filled with difficult conversations.

Why had Blaine cheated? It made more and more sense now on why Blaine had wanted to have sex with Kurt. 

Had Blaine cheated because he was so desperate for sex?

Kurt sighed again. The only person who could answer these questions was the last person he wanted to see.

* * *

Finn softly knocked on Kurt’s door. “Kurt? Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” a small voice said from inside the room. 

Finn creaked the door open and looked at his brother, who was curled up in a ball on his bed.

“How are you doing?”

“I don’t know.”

Finn went over and sat beside Kurt, putting his arm around him. “I take it Sebastian told you.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you know what you’re going to do?” 

Kurt shrugged. “I’m just tired. The relationship is more work and pain than it is beneficial, and I’m tired of hurting. I want to be happy.”

“If you have to leave him to be happy, Kurt, then do it. Blaine doesn’t deserve you.”

“Yeah. Can we watch _Mean Girls_?” Kurt asked, lifting his head out of his knees.

Finn laughed. “Sure. You go get changed, I’ll get the ice cream out.”

“Thanks.”

* * *

“I’m sorry, but Cady and Janis would have been cute together!” Finn exclaimed. “And Regina isn’t that hot!”

“What the hell?!” Kurt threw popcorn at his brothers face. “It’s Janis and Regina who should be together! And Regina _is_ hot.”

“You’re gay!”

“I have eyes!”

“Okay, but what about Aaron and Damian? Damian should’ve gotten a love interest.”

“Thank you! Now you’re getting it.” Kurt laughed.

* * *

Kurt asked Blaine to meet outside of the school 2 hours earlier than usual the next day. Finn had told Kurt that Blaine was still in the dark about everyone knowing his secret.

He was waiting in the parking lot when he saw Blaine’s car pull up. Kurt watched as Blaine got out of the car and walked over to him, obviously unsure as to why they were meeting.

“The school’s not even open yet, what are we doing here?” he asked.

“Follow me,” Kurt replied. He went behind the school and found the side entrance. Puck had long since busted the lock so Kurt opened the door and snuck inside, Blaine still following him.

Kurt had always found it strange how schools looked creepy when all the lights were out. It was still dark outside, the sun close to rising, so Kurt had to feel around to find a door that would open. Once he had flipped on the light switch, he saw that the room was the janitors closet. The janitor unlocked it before he went home for the night, in case any kid who was being bullied got shoved inside of it. Kurt found that out the hard way. 

He pulled Blaine inside of the closet.

“What is going on?” Blaine demanded, slightly annoyed at how Kurt was the one doing all the breaking in and having all the secrecy. Kurt wasn’t supposed to be the fun one in their relationship.

“I know about you and Sebastian,” Kurt said.

_ Crap _ . “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You and Sebastian hooked up at some point. He told me.”

“I...”

“I want to break up.”

“What?! Why?!” Blaine exclaimed. This had come out of nowhere. Kurt couldn’t leave him!

“You cheated on me-“

“It was your fault!”

“How?!”

“Because you left me! You went on holiday with your stupid family and you left me all alone. What did you expect to happen?”

“Wait,” Kurt said, “this happened in the summer? You went 2 months without telling me!”

“I- Kurt, please, hear me out!” Blaine begged. “I’m sorry, okay. It was wrong, and the only reason I didn’t tell you was that I knew that if I did, you would be _so_ hurt. And I loved you, and I couldn’t bear to lose you. Please, forgive me. I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, Blaine. It’s over.” Kurt turned to leave the room, but Blaine grabbed his wrist.

“Please, Kurt, give me one more chance. I promise I will never cheat again. I love you so much.” Blaine was almost on his knees.

“Blaine...”

“I love you. I’m nothing without you! You need me too, you know it. We need each other, Kurt.” Blaine threw his arms around Kurt.

“I- I love you too,” Kurt whispered and hugged Blaine back.

“I need you, Kurt. Don’t leave me.”

“Blaine, what you did was wrong.”

“I know that now. Please, don’t leave me. I need you, Kurt. Please don’t hurt me.” Knowing that Kurt couldn’t see his face, Blaine allowed himself to smile. Kurt was the forgiving type; if Blaine played this exactly right, he could win Kurt back.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Then don’t. Stay with me. You left me alone for too long, what choice did I have but to cheat? We’re both to blame here, Kurt.”

“I called you every day-“

“No, you didn’t.”

“Blaine, I remember. I did.”

“If you did, I wouldn’t have slept with Sebastian.”

Kurt didn’t reply.

“I thought you were done with me, Kurt. But you’re right. I’m sorry, I was wrong.”

“No, no, don’t apologise. You were right. It was my fault.”

Blaine felt like laughing. It was so easy. Kurt could be so gullible sometimes, especially since he was so vulnerable right now. Burt dying had worked out perfect for Blaine.

“So, we can stay together?” Blaine checked.

“Yeah, and I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better, I’ll pay more attention to you. Just please don’t cheat again.”

“I promise.” As Kurt rested his head on Blaine’s shoulder, Blaine pulled out his phone and texted David.

** Blaine: Wanna meet up tonight? **

* * *

Kurt was beginning to find French boring. It had always been his favourite subject, but since he was practically fluent in the language, he found it uninteresting to relearn it. This meant that he could spend the lessons daydreaming or talking to Sebastian. 

Just as Kurt was thinking about how fluffy llamas were, a note was thrown on top of his book. The only other reasons why Kurt had been given a note was to either pass it to someone else or for him to open and find a homophobic insult scribbled on the paper. But no one had told him to pass the note on, so he was about to throw it away to save himself the humiliation until he realised Sebastian had given him the note.

Kurt unfolded it, and in neat handwriting was written the question:  _Did you break up with Blaine?_

Kurt looked at Sebastian and shook his head. Sebastian gestured for Kurt to turn the note over.

_ Why? _

Kurt laughed at the fact that Sebastian had that prepared. “He apologised,” he whispered.

“So?”

“So, I forgave him, and we’ve moved past it.”

“He still cheated.”

“It was mostly my fault why he did it.”

“Kurt, I can't think of a single scenario where it could be your fault..”

“Well, it was.”

“And why was it?”

“Because- it doesn’t matter. Be quiet, I’m trying to listen to Madame Thomas.”

Sebastian snorted. “Sure you are.”

“I am!”

“Look, just tell me why it was your fault.”

Kurt sighed. “You are so annoying. It’s because I didn’t give him enough attention so he thought we were over and he slept with you.”

“Kurt, please tell me you don’t believe that. It’s not your fault, he’s painting himself as the victim.”

“He’s my boyfriend, I believe him.”

“It’s not your fault,” Sebastian repeated, but by this point, Kurt had gone back to ‘listening’ to the teacher. 

* * *

At the end of class, Sebastian reminded Kurt about their date to go suit shopping for his father’s party.

Kurt sighed. “Look, Sebastian, I don’t think we should spend any time alone together anymore.”

Sebastian’s face fell. “Why not?”

“Because it makes Blaine upset when we do, and I don’t want to give him another excuse to cheat on me.”

“Kurt, you’re kidding, right? You’re walking on eggshells to make sure that he doesn’t screw up? You shouldn’t have to live your life based on his actions. He should be able to control himself.”

“It’s for the best," Kurt muttered. “Our relationship is complicated.”

“More like toxic,” Sebastian said, equally as quiet. Kurt pretended that he didn’t hear him and left the room. 

* * *

“Hey bachelor,” Rachel teased, her, Santana, and Mercedes ambushing Kurt at his locker.

“What?”

“You’re single now,” Mercedes explained.

“No, I’m not.”

“What?! But Blaine-“

“We worked it out.”

“You worked it out?” Santana scoffed. “And how exactly do you ‘work out’ him cheating on you?”

“That’s between me and him.”

“Hardly between the two of you when the whole school knows.”

Kurt sighed. He’d be lying if he’d say that no one had brought it up. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve moved past it.”

“You shouldn’t have. If you’re going to stay with him, at least give him a hard time.”

“I’m not like you, Santana. I forgive-“

“-Way too easily. Can you two give us a minute?” Santana asked Rachel and Mercedes, who had been watching the back-and-forth. They both eagerly nodded, happy to be excused from the awkward situation. “Kurt, you shouldn’t be with someone who cheated on you.”

“You’ve cheated on like half the guys at this school.”

“And do you want to know why I cheated? Because I wasn’t happy in the relationship.”

_ Is she saying that I’m not enough to make Blaine happy?  _ Kurt thought. “That’s not the only reason people cheat.”

“True, but I’m just saying. Your relationship with Blaine is the same as it was before. Who’s to say that he won’t cheat again. How can you live with the constant fear? And the worst part is: you’ll never know if he does cheat or not.”

Kurt knew that she was right, but he refused to let her get to him. “He promised he wouldn’t do it again.”

Santana snorted. “Promised? God, I can think of at least half a dozen promises he’s made to you that he hasn’t kept.”

“He’s changed.”

“You know, when people change, they normally change into a decent person-“

“Shut up, Santana!” Kurt snapped. She had struck a nerve.

“Or what?”

“Or... look, you love Brittany, right?”

“Correct.”

“What if she cheated on you? Wouldn’t you give her the benefit of the doubt and stay with her?”

“It’d be hard, but,” Santana teared up a little at the thought of it, “I’d leave her. Because I can’t be with someone who doesn’t love me 100% back.”

Kurt didn’t say anything.

“Do you know what the difference between you and I is, Kurt? I may not forgive as much as you do, but it’s for a reason. The more you forgive, the more people think they have the right to let you down. And if you keep forgiving Blaine for every-“

“Shut up.”

“...single mistake he makes, that is not your fault at all-“

“Shut up.”

“... then he is going to keep hurting you until you completely-“

“Shut up.”

“... break down-“

“Shut up, Santana! Just mind your own damned business!” Kurt yelled, slamming his locker shut.

Santana was stunned. She had never seen Kurt lose his cool like that before. “Fine, I will. But you and I both know that the only person you’re mad at is yourself.” Santana flipped her hair and walked off.

Kurt rested his head against his locker, taking deep breaths. A voice deep down said, “You know she’s right.” “I can’t leave him,” Kurt whispered. “He needs me.”

* * *

“I can’t believe he’s staying with Blaine,” Santana said for the 5th time that Glee lesson. Blaine had convinced Kurt to skip Glee with him, claiming that the others would judge him too much and he’d feel uncomfortable- which wasn’t exactly untrue. 

“Santana, can we talk about something else-“ Mr Shue began asking.

“What’s the big issue with Blaine?” Artie asked, clearly out of the loop. “Sure, he cheated, but haven’t almost all of us cheated at one point?”

“Oh, Artie, this goes way deeper than just cheating. Blaine is an emotionally abusive, manipulative, toxic, as-“

“Santana!”

“I mean, the way I see it, he used Burt’s death as a way to hurt Kurt as much as possible and get away with it-“

“Santana, that is enough!” Mr Shue yelled. “That stuff is private between Kurt and Blaine, let them sort out their issues.”

“That’s the point, Mr Shue. They can’t. Blaine won’t ever change and Kurt lets him get away with everything. It’s like you care about us enough to perform with us in front of the entire school, but when it comes down to actual important stuff, you don’t give a damn.”

“Santana,” Mr Shue warned, “drop it, or get out.”

“I’ll get out,” Santana said, grabbing her bag. “Finn, Sebastian, come with me.”

“What?” Finn raised his eyebrow.

“Just do it.”

Finn and Sebastian shared a look but each grabbed their bags and followed her into the hallway.

“I think we all agree that Kurt is out of his mind,” Santana begun, “and he needs our help.”

“I don’t think we should get involved,” Sebastian voiced.

“And,” Santana continued, ignoring Sebastian’s statement, “I think we can all agree that Blaine cheated more than once. You said it yourself, Finn, he had a guy at his place.”

“That’s true.”

“ _And,_ I think we can all agree that Blaine is holding something over Kurt’s head, something that is stopping Kurt from leaving him. But if we give Kurt the final push, he will leave Blaine for good. We just need to find evidence.”

“So, what you’re saying is,” Sebastian clarified, “is that we find a guy that Blaine cheated with or something and prove to Kurt that Blaine’s a serial cheater?”

“Isn’t that what I just said? Now, is there anywhere close by where guys can get hookups easily? Somewhere where Blaine might have gone?”

Sebastian facepalmed. “Scandals. It’s a gay bar in West Lima; I told him about it. He probably hooked up there.”

“Great! You take Kurt and Blaine there and see if you can get anyone to admit to sleeping with him. And Finn?”

“Yeah?”

“You’ll follow Blaine around and see if you can get any evidence. Photos, videos, audios, I don’t care.”

“Why am I on stalking duty?”

“You did it last year with Sam, remember?”

Sam nodded at Santana. “What will you do?”

“I’m going to look for mistakes. Blaine’s cocky, if he got away with cheating once, he’d most likely do it again and be more careless. There’s got to be somewhere he messed up and I’ll find it.”

“You really care about Kurt, don’t you?” Finn smiled.

“I care about justice,” Santana defended, but then her face softened. “And that idiot too, I guess. No matter how much of a pain he can be.”


	14. Operation Expose Blaine Anderson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn, Sebastian, and Santana try to find evidence on Blaine. Sebastian takes the couple to Scandals, but nothing goes right for any of the boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW-  
> \- Canon attempted non-con scene  
> \- Slight domestic abuse

It was like they had travelled back in time.

Kurt and Blaine had gone to the Lima Bean together, and Kurt had gone to get their drinks and had returned to the table to find a gorgeous stranger sitting across from his boyfriend.

Only, this time, he wasn't a stranger.

Kurt knew who Sebastian was.

But he had the same anxious feeling as before.

"Sebastian," he said, setting down his and Blaine's drinks, "what are you doing here?"

"Just hanging out with my two best buddies!" Sebastian said with fake enthusiasm. "Speaking of which, I was wondering if you guys would be interested in joining me tonight. You know, putting some fun into your guys' relationship."

"Joining you where?" Blaine asked, wondering if Sebastian was proposing a threesome.

"Scandals. This gay bar in West Lima."

The look on Blaine's face told Sebastian that Santana's theory was right; Blaine had definitely hooked up there.

"Um, Sebastian, that's a really nice offer, but-"

"But what, Blaine? What do you have to be scared of? You got a secret?" Sebastian teased.

"No," Blaine said quickly. "We'll be there at 8, okay?" Blaine took a sip of his drink and frowned. "Did you give them the wrong order?" he asked Kurt.

"No, no, I swear," Kurt squeaked.

"Really? This isn't your way of getting back at me for that comment about your shoes?"

"No, I promise!"

"You better not be lying," Blaine scoffed and stood up, marching towards the barista. 

Kurt looked down at his own drink. _Did I give the wrong order?_ he thought. No, he'd never messed up once. It must have been the barista. 

"You okay?" Sebastian asked gently.

"Yeah, I just hope that I didn't make him mad."

"Relax, it wasn't your fault. These things happen."

"Try telling him that," Kurt muttered. "What are you doing, by the way? By inviting us to Scandals? I told you, we can't do this anymore."

"No, you said we can't do stuff alone. This is me, you, _and_ Blaine."

Kurt stayed quiet. After a few minutes had passed, he said, "Can we do something else? A gay bar, I- all those guys... Blaine might be tempted to cheat again."

"I thought you said he promised not to cheat? So, we're good, right?"

Kurt reluctantly nodded his head. There must be some way he could get out of it.

* * *

Finn climbed up the side of the Anderson's house. He knew that Blaine's parents were both at work, and Sebastian had texted him to let him know that Blaine was at the Lima Bean. So, Finn had at least a half-hour to search around Blaine's room.

Breaking and entering wasn't an idea he was fond of, but if it would get his little brother out of the relationship, it was worth it. Besides, it wasn't like he was going to steal anything- unless it was evidence. 

Thankfully, Blaine's window was left unlocked, so Finn just had to push the window to open it. He jumped into the room and looked around. 

Blaine's room was depressing. There was a deer head on the wall, bland wallpaper, and a few shelves filled with non-fiction books. The most decorative parts of the room were pictures of Kurt. 

Finn decided to look through the trash. Maybe he could find a phone number from a hookup, or a condom. Something to show that Blaine had cheated more than once. 

The trash had nothing more than a few clothing tags, recites, and discarded homework. Either Blaine was staying faithful or he was more careful than anyone anticipated.

Finn sighed and moved onto the drawers. Still, he found nothing. _Blaine must really want to keep Kurt_ , he thought. He searched under the bed and mattress, in the closet, the en suite, and the cupboards.

There was absolutely no evidence against him.

* * *

Finn didn't mention anything to Kurt about breaking into Blaine's house and Kurt didn't mention anything to Finn about going to Scandals later that night.

Kurt was in the middle of getting changed when Blaine walked into his room.

"You're early," Kurt said, quickly trying to pull on his shirt.

Blaine didn't say anything. It had been the first time that he had seen Kurt shirtless, and he didn't know how to react. All the guys he had hooked up with couldn't even begin to compare to Kurt. However, he spoke up when he saw what Kurt was wearing. "You're not actually going to wear that, are you?" he asked, pointing to Kurt's sweater.

"Yeah, why?" Kurt inspected it for stains.

"It's a bit... feminine, don't you think?"

Kurt frowned. "It's less feminine than most of the stuff I wear-"

"I know," Blaine interrupted. "But it doesn't really suit you. We'll stick out for sure if you wear it."

"Blaine, we're going to a _gay_ bar. This is one of the only places where I can really be myself. Just relax, please."

"Change, please? For me?" 

Kurt sighed. "Why should I?"

Blaine stood behind Kurt and put his arms around his boyfriend's waist. "Because I love you," he whispered. He grabbed the bottom of Kurt's sweater and pulled it off of his head. "Now, finish getting dressed so we can go."

"I don't know what to wear," Kurt said. He was afraid that he'd make the wrong choice again.

Blaine opened the door to Kurt's closet. He browsed through the clothes and spotted a bland shirt. He picked it out as well as one of Kurt's vest. "Wear this," he said.

"It's a bit ordinary."

"It's perfect."

Kurt rolled his eyes, unable to help but notice that Blaine was wearing bright, primary colours. _So much for not wanting to stand out_ , he thought. He put the clothes on anyway. "I'm ready," he said, sending a text to Sebastian, telling him that they were on their way.

"Okay."

Kurt went to grab his keys but Blaine stopped him. "We're taking my car," he said.

"Why? You're staying here tonight, and I'm not drinking, so we might as well take mine-"

"I want to take mine, so we're taking mine," Blaine snapped, unwilling to compromise.

"Fine."

* * *

They met with Sebastian outside of Scandals, who gave them fake ID's.

"Will these work?" Kurt asked, noticing how bad the IDs were.

"They haven't failed me before," Sebastian commented.

Blaine quickly switched the ID Sebastian had given him for his own fake, not wanting the bouncer to notice his identity change. The bouncer raised his eyebrow at the three of them, but let them in any way.

"What do you guys want to drink?" Sebastian asked. "I mean, you guys are _drinking_ tonight, right?"

"I'm not," Kurt replied. "I'm driving."

"Guess Blaine's the only one drinking then."

"You're not?" Blaine sounded a little disappointed.

"I'm driving myself." Sebastian handed a beer over to Blaine. "So, Blaine, you see any familiar faces here?"

Blaine laughed awkwardly. "Aside from the two in front of me, no. Why would I?"

"Just wondering. You haven't been here before, have you?"

"No."

"Huh, just checking." Sebastian pointed to a few guys in the back that were staring at Blaine. "You two care to be my wingmen? I wouldn't mind introducing myself to those guys in the back."

Blaine turned around and quickly turned back to Sebastian and Kurt. The look on his face confirmed Sebastian's suspicion; Blaine had slept with one of those guys. Now all Sebastian had to do was to get the guys to admit it in front of Kurt and- 

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Kurt, you help Sebastian out," Blaine rambled, jumping off the stool and running in the direction of the bathroom. Kurt didn't want to ask how Blaine knew where the bathroom was.

"Come on, then," Kurt said, pulling Sebastian by the arm in the direction of the guys.

Sebastian took Kurt by his free arm and pulled him closer. He slid his hands down to Kurt's hips. "I'm not interested in those guys," he said softly. "Dance with me?"

"Um." Kurt blushed at the intimacy. He couldn't help but notice that the feeling was different than when Blaine had held him close like this. It was a good feeling. "Just until Blaine gets back."

"Good enough for me." Sebastian led them both onto the dance floor, which was filled with other guys. They danced together in silence, Sebastian arguing with himself in his head on whether or not he should share his question with Kurt. Eventually, he said, "Why do you stay with Blaine?"

"What?"

"It's clear you're not happy with him. It's okay if you want to be with him, but I just want to know: _why_?"

Kurt paused for a minute and rested his head against Sebastian's chest. "I'm scared to leave."

"Kurt-"

"I know what you're thinking, but... he said he needs me, and he begged for me to not leave him. What kind of person would I be if I left him?"

"You'd still be a good person, Kurt. What Blaine's put you through is... is awful. You'd be standing up for yourself."

"He said he needs me..."

"But do you need him?"

Kurt paused. "I thought I did... but now I think I'd be better without him."

"Then why stay with him?"

"As I said, he needs me. I can't break his heart."

"But he can break yours over and over?"

"Seb, it's more complicated than that..."

"No, it's not. You need to put yourself first and stop letting him walk all over you. You're not being yourself."

Kurt didn't reply and instead thought about Sebastian's last comment. _I'm not being myself,_ he thought. _This outfit. The way I'm treating my friends. Letting someone hurt me over and over. This isn't me. What happened to the confident Kurt Hummel who wouldn't take crap from anyone?_

* * *

Blaine came back from the 'bathroom' 10 minutes later feeling satisfied. Despite having just hooked up with someone who was 100% not either of his boyfriends, he still felt angry and jealous when he saw how close Sebastian and Kurt were. He cleared his throat, and Kurt immediately pushed himself away from Sebastian.

"Blaine, you're back!" Kurt exclaimed, linking arms with his boyfriend.

"Yeah, I am. You two seemed like you were having fun."

Kurt laughed awkwardly. "Yeah, just waiting for you to come back!"

Blaine laughed too, though his had more of a sour tone. "You know, Sebastian, it's so great that you moved here all the way from Paris. It'd be a shame if you were to move back suddenly."

"Blaine, may I speak to you in private?" Sebastian asked stiffly.

"Sure."

The two of them walked over to the bar, trying to act as if they didn't want to murder each other.

"What are you doing? Why are you threatening _again_ to send me away?" Sebastian demanded.

"Well, you haven't dropped out of the duet and you were dancing with Kurt! I told you to back off!"

"Please, just let me have the duet with him. Just let me have this..." 

"Ha, you do like him, don't you?" Blaine sneered.

"What? No!"

"Admit it, and..." Blaine smirked, "I'll let you have the duet."

"Fine," Sebastian sighed. "I have feelings for Kurt."

"I knew it. Now," Blaine made his tone as friendly as possible, "stay away from what's mine."

Blaine sashayed away and made a huge show of pulling Kurt close to him. Sebastian glared at the Hobbit. This had gone on for long enough.

_ "Now, stay away from what's mine." _

How possessive was that? 

Sebastian marched over to the guys from earlier. "Excuse me, sorry to bother you guys. Have either of you slept with a guy called Blaine Anderson?" he asked.

One of the guys started laughing. "God, I was just telling my man Grant about him. Worst experience of my life. I feel bad about whoever ends up with him."

Sebastian smiled. "Tell me about it. I was the first guy he was with. Sorry to bother you." Sebastian walked away feeling excited. If he could get that guy to repeat that back to Kurt then he would surely leave Blaine! 

He paced his way over to Kurt and pulled him away from Blaine. "Hey, I have to show you something," he hissed.

"N- Not now, Seb," Kurt pleaded. "I just want to home."

"Kurt..." Sebastian knew this was his one chance. He had a low chance of seeing the guys- or anyone else that Blaine might've slept with- again. But Kurt looked so desperate to leave...

"Please."

"Okay." Sebastian sighed. He might be able to get the guys to record a confession or something. "Can you handle Blaine?"

"Yeah. Are you coming too?"

Sebastian shook his head. "I'm gonna stay a bit longer. Call me when you get home, okay?"

"Okay. You too. Bye." Kurt walked back over to Blaine and grabbed his arm, leading him outside.

* * *

* * *

Kurt slung Blaine's arm over his shoulder. "Your breath smells disgusting," he commented.

"Your shirt is disgusting," Blaine shot back.

"You're the one who picked it out."

"You're the one who picked it out," Blaine repeated back in a mocking tone.

"God, you're a jerk when you drink," Kurt opened the back door of the car. He was about to ask Blaine to get in when his boyfriend pushed him onto the back seat and crawled on top of him. "Blaine, what the hell!" he screamed. He tried to push Blaine off of him, but the other boy was heavier and stronger than he was.

"Let's just do it now, Kurt. I want you," Blaine moaned, trying to kiss Kurt's neck.

"Get off of me!"

"Let's do it." Blaine's hands travelled down Kurt's body.

"I don't want to!"

"Yes, you do. I know you, Kurt. You act like you don't want it, but I know you do."

"Get off!" Kurt yelled, tears rolling down his cheeks. _This can't be happening_ , he thought. 

Blaine's hands reached Kurt's belt buckle,] and he began to undo it. "Let me have you," Blaine begged.

"Please, don't do this, Blaine," Kurt cried. He had never wanted anything more in his life than for Blaine to let him go. "Please."

"You're so sexy, Kurt." Blaine clearly wasn't listening.

Kurt got his leg free and kicked Blaine in his crotch. Blaine startled up and hit his head on the car roof as he did, but he finally got off of Kurt and lept out of the car. "What the hell, Kurt?!" he screamed. "You hurt me!"

"You hurt me! You were going to rape me!" 

"That was nothing like rape-"

"Oh yeah?! So was me begging for you to get off of me consent to you?!"

"Just shut up, Kurt! Get in the car!"

"No! I'm not going with you, Blaine, or anywhere near that car." He reached into his back pocket and got out his wallet. He threw a few notes at Blaine. "Get a cab home, please. Don't drive while you're intoxicated. I'll call you tomorrow." Kurt ran back to the bouncer, who let him into the bar with no ID. Kurt thanked him and shimmed through the crowd until he found Sebastian.

* * *

* * *

Sebastian was talking to two guys that Kurt didn't recognise at first. Then he remembered- the guys Sebastian wanted from earlier. He was about to turn away but Sebastian saw him.

"Kurt? Are you okay?" Sebastian asked, abandoning the guys and almost jogging over to his friend. "Have you been crying?" He pulled Kurt into a hug.

"Blaine- He... He..."

"What did he do?"

"Car... He tried to-to..."

Sebastian caught on. "He tried to-" he whispered the word into Kurt's ear. Kurt nodded. "Oh God, oh God. It's okay, you're safe now. Let me take you home."

"No, I'll get a cab," Kurt croaked.

"I'm not letting anyone else near you tonight," Sebastian cautioned. He wrapped his arm around Kurt and gently walked him outside. He triple checked that Kurt was okay with getting in his car before he opened the door. 

"You okay?" Sebastian inquired before starting the engine.

Kurt nodded silently. He closed his eyes as Sebastian began to drive. _This can't be happening._

* * *

Kurt wasn't sure how long he was asleep, but when he woke up, he was in a parked car.

_ Car. _

_ Blaine. _

_ It hurts. _

He shot up and frantically tried to open the door, still wearing his seatbelt. "Let me out!" he screamed.

"Hey, Kurt, it's me. It's okay."

Kurt turned around to see Sebastian looking at him with concern. Sebastian. More memories came back to him. He threw his arms around Sebastian. "Thank you."

"It's no problem. How are you feeling?"

"Scared. How can I face Blaine after that?"

"Maybe- Kurt, I'm being serious here- you should break up with him."

"I can't..."

"Kurt, he's pushed the limits. You're not safe when you're with him," Sebastian said gently.

"I- I don't think I'd be safe if I broke up with him. He can get so angry and..."

"And what?"

_ Blaine pushed Kurt up against the wall of his bedroom, his hands dangerously close to Kurt's throat. "Don't you dare sing with that man-whore again!" he warned. _

_ "Blaine, you're hurting me," Kurt squeaked. He wanted to defend Sebastian's honour so badly but he couldn’t get the words out as Blaine's hands got closer. He didn't want to endanger himself. _

_ "Good, maybe you'll remember next time who your boyfriend really is." Blaine finally let go of Kurt, and a smile was back on his face. "Want to go to Breadstix?"  _

"Nothing," Kurt said quickly, looking away from Sebastian. "The one time I tried to stand up to him," he whispered.

"Kurt," Sebastian reached forward and took Kurt's hand, "if you want to leave him, you know Finn, Puck, Sam, and I will be there for you. We won't leave you alone with him."

"I wish I was stronger," Kurt whispered.

"You're the strongest person I know. It doesn't make you weak to ask for help."

"Why can't I leave him?" Kurt cried. "I want to leave him, but I can't."

"You can."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can, Kurt. Whatever it takes, we'll help you get away from him."

"What happened to him? He used to be so... good."

Sebastian felt a pang of guilt. Maybe if he hadn't slept with Blaine, then Blaine would still be the kind person he used to be. Sebastian shook his head. Sleeping with someone doesn't make them turn into the type of person that Blaine was. It made him show his true colours. "I think," Sebastian said, "that he started to be who he really was and you let him get away with it. So, he started getting more and more abusive and manipulative."

"So this is my fault?" Kurt asked, horrified.

"No, no." Sebastian rested his forehead against Kurt's. "You're just such a good and forgiving person and he took advantage of that."


	15. 8 Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Santana finds out some information that will help convince Kurt to leave Blaine, but she’s not fond of it. She, Sebastian, and Finn try to find something else to use instead before it’s too late.

Santana was at a loss. Finn had failed to find anything incriminating in Blaine’s room, and Sebastian had been forced to abandon the guys from Scandals to help Kurt, and so far, Blaine had left no trail that she could follow.

She was just moping about in her bedroom, ready to give up and face the fact that she couldn’t help Kurt when she received a text from Finn.

** Finn: IDK if this will help, but Rachel saw B and Karofsky together like 3 weeks ago **

Santana facepalmed. That information would’ve been so helpful to know a while back! She recalled Kurt mentioning that his friendship with Karofsky had been terminated for some reason, so if Blaine was now BFF’s with the Bear Cub, Karofsky would certainly know about Blaine’s affairs.

According to Karofsky’s Facebook, he was currently at the Lima Bean. If she was lucky, Santana might be able to just catch him and get her interrogation going.

* * *

Santana strutted into the Lima Bean like she owned the place. Guys checked her out but she didn’t care. She had the best girlfriend waiting for her at home anyway.

It was easy to find Karofsky. He had always sat in the corner booth so he was out of sight and that was exactly where he was now. She effortlessly slid into the seat opposite him and gave him a fake smile. “Hey, Karofsky,” she said.

“Santana.” Karofsky nodded at her, looking slightly terrified. “What are you doing here?”

“Just catching up with my favourite ex-beard. How have you been, by the way?”

“Um, good actually.” Karofsky leaned forward to make sure no one else could hear him. “I have a boyfriend.”

“Really? Who?” She knew she had to make small talk; if she tried to claw the information out of Karofsky he’d most likely not spill anything.

“Kurt’s ex, Blaine.”

“Oh,” Santana could hardly keep the smile off her face; this was too good! Blaine was straight-up dating another guy- a guy that everyone knew!

“Yeah. He’s like no one else I’ve ever met...”

_ Unless you’ve met another sociopath _ , Santana thought. Karofsky went on and on about how amazing Blaine was, and Santana started to feel a little bad for him. Unlike Kurt, Karofsky didn’t know Blaine’s true colours; to save Kurt would also mean breaking up Blaine and Karofsky.

But Karofsky deserved better.

“Yeah, Blaine’s great,” Santana falsely agreed. “So, Britt and I are having a date night; why don’t you and Blaine tag along? I’ll handle getting Blaine to my house, you just come to my place at 7. Don’t tell Blaine, though. I want it to be a surprise.”

Karofsky nodded. “Yeah, sounds great. Shall I bring anything?”

“Just tissues.” Santana threw him a smile before standing up. “I have a feeling we’re going to be watching a breakup movie.”

* * *

“No.”

“Finn, come on-“

“ _No_! That’s too far!”

Santana grunted. She had shared her plan with Finn and Sebastian and neither of them was taking it well. “Do you have any other ideas?”

“Can’t we break it to him gently?” Sebastian suggested.

“We have to have Blaine admit it to Kurt, otherwise Blaine will find a way out of it. And we need to be there for whatever explanation Blaine gives so we can make sure he doesn’t manipulate Kurt.”

Finn sighed. “Look, it’s one thing for Kurt to find out Blaine cheated again, but with _Karofsky_... it’ll destroy him.”

“What happened with Karofsky?” Sebastian asked.

“Oh, that’s right, you don’t know why Kurt moved to Dalton,” Santana realised. “Karofsky was Kurt’s bully, only he made it more personal because Kurt was gay. He bullied him for a while until it really started to get to Kurt, and one day Karofsky... kissed him.”

“What?!” Finn gasped. “How do you-“

“Shh, Kurt told me this in confidence. Anyway, Kurt went to Blaine for advice and Blaine tried to talk to Karofsky about it but it didn’t work. Then, Karofsky threatened to kill Kurt if he told anyone else. So, Kurt transferred to Dalton.”

“Oh my God,” Sebastian whispered. He couldn’t believe that one kid had gone through all that.

“See, this is more the all reasons for why we shouldn’t tell him!” Finn exclaimed. “It’s too far, Santana.”

“It’ll be worth it,” Santana reassured him, but she was becoming more and more unconvinced that it would be. What if it did break Kurt completely? “Look,” she said. “If we can find any other way to break them up by 6 tonight, I’ll cancel on Karofsky. Does that seem fair?”

“Fine,” the two boys said.

“Okay, we have 8 hours, get a move on!”

* * *

** 7 hours and 45 minutes remaining **

Sebastian decided to start simple- ask Blaine. Of course, after Scandals, he and Blaine were on worse terms than ever, but he had a kind-of plan.

His tactic involved trying to seduce Blaine to show that he would cheat again, and if Blaine refused, Sebastian would simply use it to his advantage and ask if its because he’s sleeping with someone else.

Blaine loved to brag.

Sebastian made his way over to Blaine’s house, and when a woman he assumed was Blaine’s mother opened the door, he introduced himself as Blaine’s friend. She eagerly let him into the house and told him that Blaine was upstairs.

Sebastian knocked on Blaine’s door but didn’t wait for a response to let himself in. Part of him hoped he would catch Blaine in the act with another guy just so Kurt wouldn’t have to hear about Karofsky.

Blaine looked up, a surprised look on his face. “Sebastian? What are you doing here?”

Sebastian put a fake sexy look on his face and sauntered over to Blaine. He sat down on the bed, scooting so close to Blaine that he was almost sitting on his lap. “I’m here for you,” he whispered into Blaine’s ear, and then moved his lips down to Blaine’s neck and began to plant kisses.

Blaine suppressed a moan and pushed Sebastian away. “I have a boyfriend.”

“That didn’t bother you before,” Sebastian murmured. “What do you want to do?”

Blaine ran his hands through Sebastian’s hair and moved his hand down to Sebastian’s back. “I want you...” he slid Sebastian’s phone out of his back pocket, “... to stop recording.” He turned the phone on and cancelled the recording.

Sebastian cursed. “How’d you know?”

“It’s pretty obvious.” Blaine laughed. “God, are you that desperate to get Kurt to yourself; he’d never go out with you, you know.”

“I don’t care if he’s with me,” Sebastian snapped, “I only care that he’s not with you.”

* * *

** 6 hours remaining **

“Do you wanna go to a gay bar?”

“ _What?_ ” Puck laughed at Finn’s question. “ _Dude, no offence, but you’re not my type. I’d rather get with Kurt-_ “

“Not like that!” Finn corrected, rolling his eyes despite Puck not being able to see him. “I mean, like, just go to see if anyone there has slept with Blaine. That way, if we find someone, we can convince Kurt to leave Blaine.

“ _Oh! Then sure. Which gay bar?_ ”

“Scandals, I think. It’s in West Lima. I’ll find it on my GPS.”

“ _‘Kay. Um, but we aren't gay_.”

“As long as we have our fakes we’ll be fine. Just act like my boyfriend.”

“ _Again?!_ ” Puck whined.

* * *

** 5 hours and 37 minutes remaining **

The two of them pulled outside of Scandals, Finn double-checking that he had the right address.

“Are you sure we’ll get in?” Puck asked. “I mean, it’s a gay bar.”

“It’s not exclusively gay, right? And we’re just here to talk to people, it should be fine.”

Puck sighed but got out of the car. Since it was only 12:23 in the afternoon, there wasn’t a line to get inside, so they walked straight up to the bouncer.

They flashed their fake ID’s at him, and he nodded for them to go in. The place was slightly crowded- not Lima-Bean-crowded, more like Breadstix-in-the-middle-of-the-week-crowded.

Finn looked around, searching for the most eligible guy that Blaine would want. He wouldn’t settle for unattractive, or for anyone that much older than him. He spotted someone who looked like Blaine’s type- young, blond and was wearing a beanie and glasses.

Finn nudged at Puck and pointed at the guy. Puck nodded and they approached him.

“Hey, my boyfriend and I were wondering,” Puck said, pulling out his phone, “if you’ve met this guy.” He showed a photo of Blaine. “Blaine Anderson.”

“Uh,” the guy shook his head, “can’t say I have, sorry.”

“No problem,” Finn said. “Uh, see you around, I guess.”

“What’s your name?” Puck asked abruptly.

“Chandler Kiehl,” the guy said.

Finn nodded and pulled Puck away. “Are you into him?” Finn asked.

“No, I was thinking about Kurt, you know, for after he and Blaine break up.”

“Chandler does seem nice...” Finn admitted.

“Exactly! So, who’s next?”

Finn glanced around the room again. No one seemed to stand out to him as Chandler did but there was one guy who seemed to be Blaine’s type. He had dark brown hair, freckles on his face, and was wearing a turtleneck. Finn decided to give it a shot.

“Hey, uh.” Finn approached the guy while Puck held his hand.

“Let me stop you right there,” the guy said. “I’m on a date and I don’t do threesomes.”

“No, we’re not into that either-“ Finn said.

“Well...” Puck tilted his head.

“We were wondering if you’ve slept with this guy, Anderson.” Finn showed him the same picture as before.

“No,” the guy responded.

“Well, what about your date?” Finn started to get desperate.

“Just get lost, you’re creeping me out.”

Finn sighed and he and Puck went back to the bar.

“Well that was useless,” Puck muttered.

“No kidding. You see anyone else?”

Puck pointed to two individuals on opposite sides of the room. “I’ll talk to him, and you talk to him,” he said.

Finn had no idea who was “him” and who was “him,” so he waited until Puck had left to talk to the other guy.

“Hi, sorry to bother you but have you slept with this guy?” Finn showed the photo.

“This is weird, could you not?” the guy asked.

Finn felt someone tap his shoulder, and he turned around and saw one of the bartenders.

“I’m going to have to ask for you and your friend to leave,” he said.

“What? No, please!”

“You can’t go around asking people who they slept with; it’s creepy.”

Finn was about to protest when he heard Puck yell, “Just answer the question! Did you, or did you not, have sexu-“

“Puck!” Finn shouted over to his friend. “Let’s go.”

“But-“

“Now!”

They begrudgingly went back to the parking lot, Puck muttering about how he was so close to getting an answer. “Now Kurt’s going to have to be hurt all over again.”

“He’s a strong guy, he’ll be okay.”

“I could’ve done better.”

Finn grabbed Puck’s arm. “Hey,” he said softly, “don’t blame yourself. There’s still hope.”

Suddenly, Puck leaned in and connected their lips. For a brief second, Finn kissed him back. But all too soon, he was pushing Puck away.

“Dude,” he whispered. “I- I’m sorry, but I don’t feel that way about you.”

Puck shook his head. “I don’t feel that way about you. I- I should go.”

“No, let me give you a ride home.”

* * *

The drive home was awkward, but then Puck spoke. “I don’t have a guy crush on you, by the way.”

“I don’t think it’s called a ‘guy’ crush; it’s just a crush.”

That wasn’t the reply Puck was expecting. “I think I have feelings for Kurt.”

Finn slammed on the breaks, ignoring the honking from the cars behind him. “My brother! My fu-“

“Dude, I can't help it! I mean, I wouldn’t _act_ on it. Not unless he was okay with-“

“What about if I’m okay with it?!”

“I know you’re his brother, but you barely get a say in who he dates unless it’s serious.”

Finn sighed and started driving again. “That’s true but... it’s so weird. So, if you like Kurt, why’d you kiss me?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never kissed a guy, and you’re my best friend and you were there... I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

“It’s fine. I didn’t mind, actually. As you said, we’re best friends. But don’t go kissing Kurt!”

Puck laughed. “Fine, I’ll stay away until he leaves Blaine.”

* * *

** 2 hours and 24 minutes remaining **

Santana decided that that moment would be the perfect moment to invite Kurt and Blaine to the ‘date night.’

She made a group chat with them both and sent a text:

** Santana: Date night. 7. My place X **

Blaine immediately responded:

** Blaine: We’re in **

She wasn’t sure why he agreed. They both hated each other’s guts, and no amount of money would persuade them to be friends. She didn’t fixate on it, figuring that she was lucky enough that he was coming.

That was when Kurt called her. She could barely get through a polite greeting before he was begging her to call off the date night.

“Why?” She asked.

“ _I- I can’t see Blaine today. Please, just call it off. Please, Santana. Pl-_ “

Santana rubbed her forehead. As much as it pained her to hear Kurt so desperate, she knew she couldn’t cancel.

She would just have to be there for Kurt while he recovered. “Sorry, Kurt, but it’s too late to cancel. You’ll just have to deal with it." It hurt her to be so rude.

“ _Santana, please. I’m begging you. I can’t do this, please..._ ” He sounded close to tears.

“Kurt-“

Sobbing. Santana could hear him crying on the other end of the phone. “ _Please_ ,” he whispered. She didn’t know why he was so desperate to avoid Blaine, but at least after that night, he wouldn’t have to see Blaine again.

“I’ll see you at 7,” she said firmly, then hung up.

* * *

“So, this is happening,” Finn commented. “We’re going to break my little brother's heart.”

“What other choice do we have, Finn?” Santana snapped. “What’s better: we tell him about Karofsky and he’s sad for a few weeks, or we let his go on and he ends up with Blaine forever?! If this is what Blaine’s like now, and add 10 years onto that behaviour, plus the fact that they’re married! Kurt would have no friends, nowhere to run to... do you want that life for him, Finn? It sucks that we have to do it this way, I know, but it’s better than doing nothing.”

Sebastian hadn’t spoken during the entire conversation. His mind couldn’t stop wandering back to the memory of when he almost lost Kurt. He looked at his phone for a distraction. “It’s almost 7, guys.”

Santana sighed. “You guys will just have to stay here when it happens.”

* * *

Blaine and Kurt were the first to arrive. They seemed surprised to see Sebastian and Finn there instead of Brittany, but they didn’t comment on it.

Despite almost everyone in the room hating Blaine, he seemed nonchalant, almost cocky. It was Kurt who seemed tense; looking around cautiously and keeping close to himself.

“So, what are we doing?” he asked quietly.

“We have to wait for someone else,” Santana revealed.

“Who?” Blaine inquired. “Do we know them?”

“You could say that.” Santana winked, but her confidence was starting to falter. _What if this went horribly wrong?_ she thought.

They made small talk for a few minutes until there was a knock at the door. “That’s him!” Santana ran to the door and opened it.

“D-David?!” Kurt exclaimed, subtly hiding behind Finn.

Blaine didn’t say anything. His face went pale and his chest felt tight. _No_ , he thought. _Dear God, no_.

“Karofsky, welcome to my home,” Santana welcomed.

“Kurt?” David looked as confused as Kurt did. “What’s going on?”

“I think Blaine can clear everything up,” Santana advised.

Blaine still didn’t say anything.

“Cat got your tongue? Let me help you out. Blaine is dating the two of you.”

“No- No, that’s not true!” Blaine exclaimed.

“Oh really? We all know he’s dating Kurt. Karofsky, is Blaine dating you?”

David nodded slowly.

“T- They set this up! Sebastian did this!”

Santana snorted. “And why would Sebastian do that?”

“Be-Because he likes Kurt,” Blaine yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Sebastian. He pulled his phone out and pressed play.

“ _I have feelings for Kurt_ ,” echoed around the room. Sebastian felt his blood turn cold. _Blaine recorded our conversation at Scandals_ , he realised. And now everyone knew how he felt about Kurt-

Kurt looked heartbroken. That was the only word Sebastian could think to describe him. “Tell me it isn’t true,” Kurt whispered. At first, Sebastian thought Kurt was talking to him, but then he saw Kurt look at Blaine.

“It isn’t!” Blaine said firmly, but Santana shook her head.

“Admit it, Blaine. It’s over; no one believes you.”

“I believe you,” Kurt said, his eyes full of hope.

Blaine was torn. He could keep leading Kurt on; all he would really lose was David, but he could always sleep arou-

_ No _ , Blaine thought. Kurt had trusted him with everything he had, and Blaine had broken that trust. He had to set Kurt free. “It’s true, Kurt,” Blaine admitted. _It’s over_.

“No, it’s not,” Kurt said. “Blaine- no, no.”

“Kurt, I’m sorry,” Blaine shook his head. “Just, please forgive me-“

“I- I can’t.” Kurt shook his head and stumbled his way to the door.

The cold air felt like a smack in the face, and the realisation hit him. Blaine had cheated again. Kurt collapsed to the floor, but no tears came.

No one came outside to check on him, or to even see if he had left. They were probably handling Blaine and David-

Blaine and David. They were dating. It wasn’t even the fact that Kurt wouldn’t put out that made Blaine unfaithful, he just needed another boyfriend. Kurt wasn’t enough. No matter what he dealt with, what he put up with, how hard he tried. He wasn’t enough.


	16. I Am Tired Of Being Told I Am Loved  And Cared About But Never Made To Feel That Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt gets advice from someone about his relationship with Blaine. Sebastian finds out some upsetting news.

What was Blaine thinking? After Kurt had run out on him the other night, David had ended it with him and everyone had demanded that he left. Due to Santana’s orders, he went out of the back door so he couldn’t see Kurt. 

It had been 3 days and Kurt still wasn’t answering his calls or texts. He had never felt as boyfriendless- he had lost Kurt, David, and none of the guys at Scandals would sleep with him. Apparently, there were two guys that were concerned about who was sleeping with him.

He couldn’t see Kurt at school either, since they had a week off. It was as if Kurt had disappeared from his life completely, and he didn’t know what to do.

* * *

“He won’t leave his room,” Finn told Puck and Sebastian, who had asked about their friend’s whereabouts. “I’m not even sure he’s alive.”

“He’s alive; I heard him moving around in his room last night,” Sam chimed in. “Should we try again?”

“I think he might actually kill us; he’s not in a good mood.”

The stairs creaked, and the guys looked up to see Kurt walking down the stairs. “Hi,” he said.

“H- Hey, how’s it going?” Finn cursed himself for asking that.

“Fine.” Kurt pointed to the door. “I’m going to go out for a while, is that okay?”

“Of course. Do you need any of us to drive you?”

Kurt shook his head. “I’m fine, thanks. See you later.”

After Kurt had gone outside, Finn and Sam looked at each other in confusion. “He’s being... sweet?” Sam asked rather than said. “Am I imagining things?”

“Nah, it’s weird, dude.” Finn shuddered. 

* * *

Kurt parked his car in the hospital parking lot. He was a regular there, so the receptionist let Kurt straight through as soon as he asked to see Carole, as she was on her break. He went into the break room, which was empty aside from Carole.

“Hi- Hi, Carole,” Kurt greeted his stepmom. “Could I talk to you?” 

“Oh, honey, have you finally decided to leave your bedroom?” she teased, but she was actually relieved to see him. He didn’t look _great_ \- he had deep purple eye bags, his hair was messy, and he had on a simple outfit. But for now, Carole was just glad to see him at all. She had been worrying herself silly over him.

“Yeah, because, um, this is really important.” Kurt rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

“What’s up, honey?”

“I- I want to leave Blaine but, um… I’m scared.”

Carole looked concerned for a second, then nodded. “Okay. Sit down, sweetie.” Carole gestured to the empty seat beside her. Kurt did so, and she gently put her hand on his shoulder. “What do you mean by you’re scared?”

“I- I found out that he cheated on me a bunch- and apparently he’s manipulated me so I w- won’t leave, and I want to break up with him. But the thing is, he can get really desperate and angry, and occasionally violent if he doesn’t get what he wants. I’m scared of what he will do if I try to leave him,” Kurt explained, his voice quavering. 

“Oh, sweetie.” Carole sighed sympathetically. “Do you have anyone that could be there for you while you do it? So they can make sure you’re safe. You know I’d be there if I could.” 

Kurt thought for a second. “Finn, Puck, and Sam. Probably Sebastian too.”

“Okay, now, the important thing is that you don’t let him talk you out of it. No matter what he says, remember that he is in the wrong and you don’t owe him anything, and you have the right to leave him,” Carole advised.

“Okay.” Kurt nodded, making a mental note of everything.

“What do you mean when you say he can be ‘violent’?” 

“S- Sometimes if I disagree with him or try to stand up to him he’ll shove me against a wall and pin me there until I apologise, one time he hit me but said it was my fault because I ‘scared’ him. And,” Kurt took a deep breath, “healmostrapedmeanditreallyhurtmebecausehekeptpushingmedownandclimbingontopofme-“

“Could you slow down a bit, honey?”

“I- We were out at a gay bar, and he was a little drunk, and when we got back to the car he tried to- to- to... and he kept grabbing me and pushing down and it-it...” Kurt swallowed and held back tears. 

“Oh, Kurt, it’s okay.” She patted his back comfortingly. “Do you want another adult to be there for you? To make sure that you’re safe. I can call that creepy glee teacher of yours.”

Kurt shook his head. “I’ll be okay with Finn and the others. Thank you, though. Do you think I’ll be okay? What if… what if he hurts me?”

“Then me and the widowers club will avenge you,” she joked. Then she pulled him into a tight hug. “You will be okay, I promise.”

“Thanks…”

“No problem, honey. Stay safe.” Once Kurt had left, Carole pulled out her phone and sent a text to Finn.

** Carole: Look after your brother or else!!! **

* * *

Kurt drove back home, thinking over what Carole had said. 

_ Don’t let him talk me out of it. Remember that he is in the wrong and I don’t owe him anything. I have the right to leave him.  _

Kurt pulled back into the drive and walked inside the house. Sam, Finn, Sebastian, and Puck were looking at him expectantly. “I’m going to break up with Blaine,” he announced.

The boys looked at him for a second, but then what Kurt had said clicked in their heads.

“Is this an ‘I’m going to break up with Blaine but not go through with it break-up,’" Finn asked, “or a ‘break up for good’ break up?”

“Break up for good,” Kurt said.

“Then that’s great!” Finn jumped off the couch and embraced his brother in a hug. “Are you going to be okay? When are you going to do it?”

“Today,” Kurt said, deciding that it would be the best to do it now before he could change his mind. “And could you guys stay down here while I do it, please? In case I need you?”

“Of course,” Puck said. “We’re here for you, man.”

“Thanks, I’m gonna go call him. When he gets here, send him to my room please.”

“Sure,” Sam said.

Kurt and Sebastian locked eyes for a few seconds until Sebastian gave him a reassuring smile. 

“Kurt, could I talk to you in private for a second?” he asked, gesturing to the kitchen.

“Sure.” Kurt smiled brightly and went into the aforementioned room. Sebastian joined him a few seconds later. “What’s up?”

“A- About the video-“

“The one where you said you have feelings for me?” Kurt laughed. “Yeah, it’s fine, I know it’s fake.”

“Fa- Fake?” 

“Yeah, it didn’t even sound like you. Don’t worry about it.” Kurt shrugged it off.

“Oh- you think... okay. Yeah, it was fake.” Sebastian sighed. Part of him wondered if Kurt was just saying this to avoid Sebastian having feelings for him. He would just have to confess another time.

* * *

Blaine was at Scandals, getting rejected by his 3rd guy that night. Why were guys suddenly immune to his charms? His phone started vibrating in his pocket and he considered ignoring it, but he assumed it would be a booty call. 

It wasn’t. It was just Kurt. 

“What?” Blaine snapped when he answered it. His sympathy for Kurt had faded when his boyfriend had failed to answer his 6th call. He decided then that if Kurt was going to be a child about the situation, then so was he. 

“ _Are you busy? Can you come over?_ ”

Blaine smirked. He knew that it wouldn’t be long until Kurt came crawling back to him. “I guess I can make it work, only for you, babe.”

“ _Um, okay. Now would be great, by the way_.”

“Okay, I’ll be there soon. Bye, I love you.”

“ _Bye._ ” Kurt hung up the phone. Blaine frowned; Kurt had never _not_ said ‘I love you.’ 

* * *

Blaine drove slowly, taking as many detours as he could and intentionally running into traffic. Ever since Kurt didn’t return the ‘I love you,’ Blaine had started to think that maybe Kurt was going to end their relationship. If he took a while, maybe Kurt would talk himself out of it.

Despite taking 40 minutes to get to Kurt’s house, it still felt like he hadn’t stalled long enough. If he went inside, it could be over with Kurt.

But Blaine had convinced Kurt to stay before and he knew he could do it again. 

He knocked on the door and was a little surprised when Finn was the one who answered.

“He’s upstairs,” Finn told him, letting Blaine go past. “But if we hear any yelling, we are coming up; do you understand?”

Blaine nodded, hoping he didn’t look as terrified as he felt. Though he was the founder and former captain of Dalton’s fight club, he knew he had no chance of beating Sam, Finn, Puck, _and_ Sebastian. 

He made his way up the stairs, stopping briefly to consider his options. He doubted that any of the guys would let him leave and Kurt would most likely hear him if he opened a window to escape. He continued going upstairs, knowing that he had to face the music.

He didn’t bother to knock on Kurt’s door, and just let himself in. Kurt was sat on his bed, an unreadable look on his face. Blaine walked over and tried to embrace his boyfriend, but Kurt pushed him away. “Don’t,” he said. 

“Oh, okay.” Blaine frowned, that wasn’t a good sign. 

“I think we should talk,” Kurt declared. “About _us_.”

* * *

Finn watched Blaine go upstairs, a tight feeling in his chest. He doesn’t see Kurt for 3 days, and when he finally does, Kurt’s ready to end things with Blaine? It didn’t make sense to Finn. Where had Kurt gone earlier? Who did he talk to? What did they say? How had he come to the conclusion to break up with Blaine? There were too many unanswered questions running through Finn’s mind.

Puck seemed to be having the same thoughts too. “Where did Kurt go earlier?” he asked.

“I’m not sure.”

“Is he really going to break up with Blaine?” Sam inquired.

“I don’t know.”

“Is-“

“Guys,” Sebastian cut off Puck’s second question, “maybe we should just wait and see.”

“I can’t just sit here and wait,” Sam said. “What if Kurt’s in danger?”

“He’ll yell if he is, don’t worry,” Puck reassured. “Maybe we should, like, think about what’ll happen after Kurt’s left him. Like, setting him up with that Chandler guy.”

“Setting him up with who now?” Sebastian demanded, feeling slightly jealous. Kurt wasn’t even single yet, and he already had a new boyfriend waiting? And it _wasn’t_ Sebastian?

“Oh, crap, I forgot, you like him, don’t you.” Finn facepalmed. 

“W- What?! No, I don’t. That was all Blaine,” Sebastian exclaimed. “I- It’s just, you know, Kurt is my friend, so I’m interested in who he’s dating. Who’s Chandler?”

“This guy we met at... this place,” Puck covered up, not wanting any more people to know that they went to a gay bar. “He’s cute, you know, and nice.”

“Oh.” Sebastian always thought that he was cute and nice- occasionally nice if he was with the right people. “What do you think they’re talking about right now?” he asked, pointing to the ceiling. 

“Maybe how much of a jerk Blaine is,” Sam imagined. “Or maybe they’re making out, it could be either.”

Finn pulled Puck to the side. “What are you doing?” he hissed. “I thought you liked Kurt? I didn’t think you were serious about setting him up with Chandler!”

“I think Kurt needs a fresh start, you know?” Puck replied. “Someone who he isn’t already friends with?”

“Are you-“

“ _What the hell, Kurt?!_ " was heard from upstairs, as well as the sound of something smashing. 

All four looked at each other in shock. “Let’s go upstairs,” Finn said, and the rest agreed.

* * *

“Talk about what?” Blaine asked, acting dumb. Maybe he could somehow manage to avoid the subject altogether. With the way that Kurt was looking at him, there was a possibility that Kurt would just drop the whole thing. Kurt’s eyes were full of love and hope, he clearly wanted to stay with Blaine.

“You know what, Blaine. Your relationship with David. You admitted it was true and I have some questions,” Kurt replied.

“I... Fine. What questions?”

“When did it start?”

“A few weeks ago.”

“Are you still with him?”

“No, we broke up. Kurt, listen-“

“I’m doing the talking now. I have one last question: why?”

“'Why'?”

“Why did you date him when you were with me?”

Blaine sighed. Honesty could save their relationship. “Because he would have sex with me.”

Kurt drew in a sharp breath. “You cheated because he would sleep with you?”

“Yes.”

“I lied; I have a few more questions. Were David and Sebastian the only ones?”

Blaine shook his head. “There were a few other guys here and there.”

“Were you tested?”

“No, why would I be?”

“Because you slept with random guys who could be carrying an STD, and then they could pass it onto you. Not to mention that you admitted to having slept with David- and you could have passed something onto him- and then you try to sleep with me, and could have passed something onto me as well. You need to get yourself tested, and also tell David, too.”

“Fine.” Blaine rolled his eyes. To him, this conversation was ridiculous. After all, he used protection most of the time. “So, are we okay now?”

“Not exactly. I want to break up, for good.”

“What? Why?!” Blaine whined, reaching for and failing to get a hold of Kurt’s hand.

“Blaine, you’ve cheated on me _so_ many times, dated my ex-bully, manipulated me into staying, and hurt me. I have no reason to stay with you,” Kurt said firmly.

“Kurt, p- please don’t do this. I love you-“

“If you loved me you wouldn’t have cheated-“

“I wanted to have sex, and you wouldn’t. What other choice did I have?”

“To stay faithful! You could have waited until I was ready. I’m sorry, Blaine, but it’s over.”

“What the hell, Kurt?!” Blaine yelled. He raised his hand at Kurt, who grabbed the glass on his nightstand in self-defence. Blaine slapped the glass out of his hand, causing it to smash against the wall.

“B- Blaine, please calm down,” Kurt begged. He hated when Blaine got angry; he could never tell what would happen next. 

Blaine grabbed hold of Kurt’s wrist. “You’re not leaving me, Kurt. You can’t, please! I need you.”

”Yes, he is,” Finn said, appearing in the doorway with the other guys behind him. “And you’re leaving.”

“No, I’m not! This isn’t over, Kurt.”

Puck marched over and pulled Blaine away from Kurt. “You can leave the easy way or the hard way, buddy.”

Blaine grunted but made his way over to the door. “Just remember that no one will love you as I do,” he told Kurt before leaving. 

“Kurt, that’s not true,” Sebastian reassured him. “There are so many people who-“

“Can you guys go, please?” Kurt asked, then he had second thoughts. “Wait, Puck? Can you stay?”

Sebastian felt like a knife had been stabbed through him 11 times. He knew Kurt was going through a lot, but... it still hurt. He should have known that he had no chance with Kurt when the first cheating scandal was uncovered. 

“Of course,” Puck waved the other guys off then made his way over to Kurt’s bed. “You okay?”

“I’m not sure. It hasn’t hit me yet,” Kurt mumbled. He laid down on his side. “C- Can you just hold me please?” 

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Puck instantly got into the same position, laying down beside Kurt. He wrapped his arms around his friend.

It took a while for Kurt to fall asleep.

Every time his mind started to drift away, it came back to one thought: _I’m single now_. He no longer had Blaine tied to his ankle, controlling his every move. That thought made him relieved, but also afraid. He was so used to Blaine dictating his life that he didn’t know what to do. 

It had been so long since he had had so much freedom.

Freedom to dress how he wanted, to hang out with his friends, to date who he wanted...

Crap. Dating. Meeting new people. New people who could end up like Blaine...

He shrugged that thought off. He had been through a lot today, and he needed time to recollect himself. Dating was the last thing on his mind.

So, instead, he let his mind ponder over what had happened. Blaine had cheated (again) and they had broken up. That should be what he should tell people, right? _Don’t mention David_ , he thought. 

Puck wrapped his arms tighter around Kurt, making him realise how much he was going to miss being held. Being kissed. Being hugged and having someone to hold hands with. Just being with someone.

* * *

They work up in the same position a few hours later, when Finn knocked on Kurt’s bedroom door. 

“Kurt? Santana’s here to see you,” he said. 

“Mm,” Kurt mumbled, refusing to open his eyes. “‘Kay.”

“Want me to go?” Puck offered, stretching.

“If you don’t mind. Thanks for... everything.”

“Anytime.” Puck leaned down and kissed Kurt’s cheek before getting out of the bed. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, thank you.”

As Puck left the room, Santana walked in. 

“Hey,” Kurt said, nodding at her.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt replied, chuckling softly. He really was feeling _everything_.

“I feel like I owe you an apology.”

“For what?”

“For the whole Blaine/ Karofsky thing. I guess I didn’t think about how painful it would be for you-“

“San, don’t apologise. You did nothing wrong, okay? You were just looking out for me.”

“Still, maybe there was-“

“Santana.” Kurt threw his arms around her and hugged her tightly. Without her meddling, he knew he wouldn’t have had the courage to leave Blaine. Without Sebastian, or Finn, or Puck, or Carole, he knew he’d still be with Blaine. “Thank you... just... Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser for the next chapter:
> 
> [He touched his face and felt the absence of moisturiser.]


	17. The Date P1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt goes back to school, dreading seeing Blaine. Finn and Puck run into Chandler again.

The week away from school was over all too soon and, before Kurt knew it, he was getting out of the passenger seat in Finn’s car.

“You gonna be okay, dude?” Finn asked, taking his keys out of the car. 

“I think so. I’m just worried about seeing _him_.”

“If you need us, you know where to find us,” Sam, who was sat in the back, replied. “You don’t have any classes with him, do you?”

“Nope, just Glee.”

“Well, Mom said you can skip Glee if you need to,” Finn reminded him.

“I’ll see how I feel later,” Kurt said. “Um, do I look okay?”

“You always look great,” Sam said while Finn nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, but I mean...” Kurt looked at his reflection in the side mirror. He’d tried his best to put more effort into his appearance but he barely had the energy. He touched his face and felt the absence of moisturiser. “God, look at my eyes. Can you tell I’ve barely slept?”

“Kurt, don’t worry about it. You look fine, okay?” Finn reassured him. “We’ll see you at lunch.”

“What if everyone judges me?” Kurt muttered, restyling his hair.

Finn frowned; Kurt had never been really insecure. And now that Finn thought about it, Kurt wasn’t even dressing like he used to. It was like he was a whole other person. “Come on.” Finn ruffled Kurt’s hair, making his brother whine. “What happened to my confident little brother, huh? You don’t care about what people think of you.”

Kurt laughed and turned around to Finn and Sam, smiling. “I’m a single guy now,” he chuckled, “I have a lot of people to impress with my looks.” He winked at them both and jumped out of the car. 

Finn turned around and looked at Sam. “I think he’s going to be okay,” he said.

Sam shrugged. “Maybe. At least he’s not yelling at us or moping about anymore. Do you think he’s seriously going to move on already?”

“I’ve seen people move on faster.”

“Yeah, but this is _Kurt_. And it’s not like there’s a ton of options anyway.”

“I mean, there’s Puck, Sebastian, Chandler, I think a few of the Warblers are gay?” Finn saw the way Sam was looking at him. “You?” 

“I- I’m not gay, though I was kind of into Kurt like a while back. It was just leftover feelings from last year. But he turned me down, so...”

“Ah, cool, man. Still, that’s a lot of possibilities, so he could move on soon.”

“Isn’t Kurt the type of guy who has to have an emotional connection to date?”

“True. Still, Puck and I are going to set him up with Chandler and we’ll see how that goes.”

“Okay,” Sam opened his car door, “we should get going or we’ll be late.”

* * *

Kurt was putting his books away in his locker when he was ambushed again by the girls.

“Are you okay?” Rachel asked gently, taking his hand.

“Yeah,” Kurt replied.

“Are you sure?”

Kurt turned away from his locker then, smiling at his friends. “I’m okay, I promise.”

“You and Blaine were together for a long time-“ Mercedes started.

“I know, I know, but I’m relieved, you know? I loved Blaine, but he hurt me a lot. And now, I have this huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I can be happy again.”

Santana took his other hand. “That’s great, Kurt. We’re happy for you, right, girls?”

“For sure!” Rachel agreed while Mercedes nodded.

“We should do something later,” Santana suggested. “Like, go shopping or to Breadstix. We haven’t had a 'girls + Kurt' night in ages.”

“Yes! Oh my God, we _so_ need to!” Rachel exclaimed, clapping her hands.

“I’m in! Mercedes?” Kurt asked.

“Of course, any chance to hang out with you guys.”

* * *

Mercedes and Kurt further discussed the ‘girls + Kurt night’ in Home Economics.

“What do you feel like doing?” she asked as their teacher droned on and on.

Kurt tossed his whisk between his hands as he considered his options. He didn’t need to go shopping and he wasn’t in the mood to walk around all day anyway. He was sick of the Lima Bean coffee and that place had too many memories of him and Blaine. “I guess Breadstix would be fun,” Kurt said. A night of just joking around with his friends sounded heavenly to him.

“Great. By the way, have you thought about joining any more clubs? I was considering rejoining the Cheerios if you’d join me.”

“I don’t know,” Kurt pondered. “A while back I was thinking of running for senior class president.”

“You totally should! Do you know what a difference you could make, Kurt?” 

“Mm. Maybe. Is there anyone else running?”

“I don’t think, so it’s basically guaranteed win, right?”

“Hopefully. It’d look great on college applications, too.”

“You’re already thinking about college?”

“Kinda,” Kurt admitted. “Rachel and I are auditioning for NYADA later in the year, but I feel like my lack of extracurricular activities will be a problem.”

Mercedes chuckled. “Kurt, you’re not _that_ low. You have Glee, and Cheerios, and football.”

“Which were all sophomore year. Isn’t senior year the one that counts?”

“True. Think about joining the Cheerios, okay?”

Kurt nodded. “NYADA only accepts like 20 students a year. What if Rachel gets in and I don’t?”

“Don’t worry about that. You’re both really talented and there’s a good chance you’ll get in. If not, you can always go with your back-up, right?”

Kurt nodded again, deciding not to tell her that he doesn’t have a back-up. Rachel had ..somehow gotten him on board with her ‘only apply to one college plan,’ claiming that it would be better to focus all their energy on getting into NYADA rather than having distractions. He wasn’t completely sold on the idea, but the thought of applying to somewhere else felt like admitting that he wouldn’t get into NYADA. 

* * *

Sebastian was on his way to lunch when he heard someone crying in the empty classroom. He poked his head in, not recognising the student until he saw the hair. “Blaine?” he said, the usual sourness not present in his tone. “Are you crying?”

Blaine turned around, the distraught look on his face quickly fading when he saw it was Sebastian. It was replaced with anger. “You!” he hissed. “You’re to blame for all this.”

“Whoa,” Sebastian put his hands up in mock defence, “I came in here to see if you were okay, but if you’re going to be like that...” he turned on his heel and started to walk away.

“Whatever. Just go and ruin another relationship,” muttered Blaine.

“Another?” Sebastian turned back around and marched over to Blaine. “You’re not telling me that you blame me for what happened between you and Kurt, are you?”

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t.”

“Give me one reason why it’s my fault!”

“You slept with me!” Blaine accused.

“I never made you!”

“Oh please, you kept coming onto me,” Blaine shot back.

Sebastian hesitated. “I- I never made you like _you_ tried to make _Kurt_. Besides, I never would have come onto you if I knew you had a boyfriend. You chose to sleep with me, and you chose to sleep with all those other guys, and you chose to date Karofsky."

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“It’s not ‘whatever,’ Blaine. You hurt people, especially Kurt and Karofsky, and losing them was a consequence of your actions. Look on the bright side; you can sleep with whoever you want now.”

“Everyone was happy, you know?” Blaine snarled.

“What?”

“Everyone was happy until you, Finn, and Santana told them the truth.”

“Kurt was miserable!” Sebastian explained. “Are you telling me you didn’t see it? He was the complete opposite of happy. And Karofsky was being lied to; he deserved better. You can’t think that you lying and manipulating them was okay.”

“Everything was fine until you came along.” Blaine obviously wasn’t hearing him out.

“Blaine, you can’t blame me for this-“

“You started it all! If I hadn’t have had sex with you, then I wouldn’t have had it with the others, and Kurt and I would still be together.”

“Forget it!” Sebastian yelled, storming out of the room. 

* * *

He bumped into Kurt in the hallway. 

“S- Sorry,” Kurt stammered.

“It’s fine, it was my fault.” Sebastian sighed. He was trying to cool off so he wouldn’t have to explain to Kurt why he was so mad.

“Why aren’t you in the cafeteria yet?”

“Got caught up doing something. You?”

“Had to call at my locker.” Kurt linked his arm through Sebastian’s. “Come on, I’ll walk with you.”

“O- Okay.” Sebastian tried not to blush at the physical contact. _Since when did I blush?_ he wondered. “So, how are you feeling?”

“Fine, actually.”

“Really? No bad thoughts, like what you had before?”

“Honestly, no. I’m sure that, eventually, it’ll hit me and I’ll miss him, but I don’t npw. He’s not the person I fell in love with, and now that I’ve seen him for who he really is, I’m glad he’s out of my life,” Kurt explained.

“Huh.” Sebastian had to admit, he wasn’t expecting that. “H- Have you thought about dating anyone?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“Well, Finn told me about this guy he met. Joey?”

“Chandler?”

“Yeah! I knew it was a _Friends_ character. He said he’s going to set us up, but I’m not sure...”

“Not sure about moving on or about the guy?”

“Oh, I’m ready to move on for sure. I kind of mentally got over Blaine a while ago, if you know what I mean.” 

Sebastian nodded.

“It’s just,” Kurt continued, “I don’t know anything about this guy, and the last time I got set up on a blind date, it was with a girl. If I do date him, it’s not going to be anything serious.”

“You sure? You could really like him.” Sebastian prayed that Kurt wouldn’t like him. He was planning on asking Kurt on a date at some point, but not until Kurt was- as he phrased it- ready for something ‘serious’. 

“I’m sure. Besides, there’s this other guy I like.” Kurt turned and smiled at Sebastian.

“R- Really?” 

“Yeah, and I think we could be something special.”

* * *

During Glee, Mr Shue brought back up the subject of Kurt and Sebastian’s duet. He said that the two of them could brainstorm ideas for what they could sing, and then perform them to the group.

Sebastian agreed, despite him not having any intention to do the duet with Kurt.

Blaine was still in Glee. It was awkward, as no one but Trent would talk to him on anything non-Glee related subjects. But it didn’t seem to bother Blaine, he still acted as if nothing had happened. He even had the audacity to try and sit beside Kurt until Santana shot him daggers. 

The rest of class went smoothly, the only commotion being when Blaine tried to talk to Kurt at the end, but Sebastian handled it.

“Hey, Kurt, can I talk to you?” he asked when he saw Blaine approaching Kurt.

“Sure!”

Sebastian led Kurt towards the corner. “Um, I can’t do the du- duet with you.”

“Why?”

“Blaine kind of threatened me-“

“What?” Kurt grabbed Sebastian’s hand. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No, no. He-“ Sebastian took a deep breath. “My dad works for his dad, and Blaine said if I don’t back out then he’ll make his dad relocate us.”

“Oh.” Kurt sighed. “Well, um, I-I’m not with Blaine anymore, right? So, he doesn’t really have a purpose to get rid of you now. It’ll be okay, he’s full of empty threats.”

“Right...” Sebastian nodded. _God, I hope you’re right_ , he thought. _I can’t bear to be away from you_.

“Do you think we should tell Mr Shue or someone? Maybe they can make sure he doesn’t do anything,” Kurt offered.

“No... it’ll be okay,” Sebastian said, not wanting Kurt to have anything to do with Blaine anymore. 

“Okay,” Kurt took his hand back, and Sebastian instantly missed his touch, “I’ll text you later, okay? I’m having a girls night!” He skipped away then, a smile on his face. 

“Okay,” Sebastian whispered to himself.

* * *

“Girls night! Girls night! Girls night!” Kurt chanted as Santana brought over their drinks.

“Okay, calm down, Hummel.” Santana laughed, though she was really happy just to see her friend so... well, happy. 

“So, any gossip? Besides Blaine, of course,” Mercedes asked.

“I never liked him,” Rachel said. “He always seemed so... selfish and manipulative.”

“1. You dated him,” Kurt pointed out, “and 2. you’re describing yourself.”

“Shut up.” Rachel threw a straw wrapper at her best friend. 

“You can’t deny it.” Kurt chuckled. “And as for gossip, Finn has apparently got someone for me.”

“Gross, he’s your brother.” Santana winced.

“Not himself,” Kurt deadpanned. “A guy he met... somewhere?” Kurt realised he had no idea how Finn knew... Ross, was his name? 

“What guy?”

“I have no idea. He could either be my soulmate or a murderer, or someone in between.”

“At least you’re getting back out there,” Rachel tried. She could see how hard it was for Kurt.

“I guess.”

“Are you... ready, to get back out there?” 

“Yes and no. I’m ready to date, just not to commit. Longterm relationships are kind of off the table for now.”

“Is there anyone you have your eye on right now? Besides Mr Soulmate/Murderer?” Santana asked.

Kurt smirked. “There is someone...” He gestured for the girls to lean in. He whispered the name of his crush, and all the girls squealed.

“OMG, Kurt! You two would be... cute, actually. Are you going to ask him out?” Rachel exclaimed.

“Maybe. Not until I’m longterm relationship ready. He means a lot to me, you know?”

“I know,” Mercedes agreed. “I feel the same with Sam.”

“Sam? Aren’t you with Shane?” Kurt pointed out.

“There has been... moments. But this isn’t my story Kurt, and the author has no memory of Shane so she’s going to skip that part.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

* * *

“Is that Kurt over there?” Puck asked, pointing to the brunet with his fork. He, Sam, Finn, and Artie were all sat in Breadstix, a few tables away from Kurt and the girls.

“Probably,” Finn said, not bothering to look. He was more interested in a certain blond who was just going into the bathroom. “Psst,” he nudged Puck, “I think that was Chandler.”

“Going into the bathroom?” 

“Yes! Come with me.” He started to pull Puck up, but the other boy refused. 

“Nah, man. That’s weird. It’s bad enough we went to a gay bar together.”

“You guys what?” Artie asked, sharing a confused look with Sam.

“On second thought, let’s go,” Puck said, following Finn into the bathroom. 

It _was_ Chandler. Luckily, they had managed to catch him before he started doing anything, so it wasn’t too awkward. 

“Hey, Chandler, right?” Finn said, leaning against the door, trying to look casual.

“Um, yeah.” Chandler looked afraid for a moment, then his face relaxed when he recognised Finn and Puck. “Oh, you’re the guys from Scandals.”

“Yes, that’s us!” Puck fist-pumped the air.

“Anyway,” drawled Finn, looking strangely at his best friend, “are you single?”

“Y- Yeah, but I don’t-“

“We’re not asking for a threesome,” Finn cleared up. “My little brother just got out of a bad relationship, and you seemed nice, so-“

“It’s not the guy you were asking about before, is it?”

“No, not Blaine. His name is Kurt.”

“Um, not gonna lie to you, this is kind of weird. I don’t even know you guys, and the only times we have met have been at a gay bar, and now, a bathroom.”

“This is nothing weird, I swear,” Puck said. “We’re just trying to cheer up our friend.”

Chandler sighed. “I’m probably going to regret this, but okay.”

“Really?!” Puck fist-pumped again. “Okay, give me your number, I’ll text you the details.”

“Great. Can I go to the bathroom now?”

“Oh, sure, sure,” Finn grabbed Puck and dragged him out of the bathroom. 

* * *

Finn and Puck saw Kurt and the girls head towards the door. The two shared a look, and without saying anything, they made their way over to the door.

Rachel saw them. “Hey! What are you guys doing here?”

“Food,” Puck answered. “Kurt, can we talk to you for a minute?”

The girls giggled then, and Kurt had to lightly nudge Santana in the ribs. “Uh, they’re my ride home-“

“Kurt, we live in the same house, I’ll give you a ride,” Finn replied. He grabbed Kurt and pulled him towards an empty table.

“Sure, Finn, that’ll be okay,” Kurt said sarcastically. “What did you guys need to talk about?”

“You remember that guy, Chandler, we told you about?” 

“Oh, that was his name. What about him?”

“We got you a date with him.”

“Really?” Kurt couldn’t help but smile and blush a little. “When?”

Finn looked at Puck for confirmation. “Saturday?” he guessed, and Puck nodded.

“Pass me your phone,” Puck said, and when Kurt did, he typed in Chandler's number. “Here,” he passed Kurt his phone back, “text him when you wanna meet.”

“Thanks,” Kurt said. He sent a quick text to Chandler.

** Kurt: Hey, it’s Kurt. My brother and his friend kind of set us up **

He slid his phone back into his pocket. “So, when are we going home?” 

“Uh,” Finn looked back to the table where Sam and Artie were sat. “I’ll go let them know we’re going. I’ll meet you guys at the car.”

As Finn made his way over to the table, Puck and Kurt went into the parking lot together. “So,” Puck said, “what were you and my exes doing?”

Kurt laughed. “Just talking about life.”

“Life, huh? Like, colleges?”

“Yup.”

“Where are you going?” Puck slid into the passenger seat, while Kurt sat on the middle back seat. 

“Rachel and I are applying to NYADA later. What about you?”

“Lima University, probably. If I can get my grades up.”

“I’m sure you will.” Kurt smiled. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, and he pulled it out. 

** Chandler: Hey! It’s strange to actually talk to you ha. Also I thought your brother was dating that guy with the mohawk????  **

Kurt laughed at the text. 

** Kurt: Haha it’d be funny if they were, but they’re just friends :) **

** Chandler: Really? When I first met them they said they were boyfriends **

** Kurt: Hmm I’ll have to talk to them about it :) where did you meet them BTW? **

** Chandler: Scandals  **

Kurt laughed out loud, having to cover his mouth. Puck looked at him strangely. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” Kurt giggled. 

Finn opened the car door and jumped into the driver's seat. “Ready to go?”

“Yup,” Puck said. Kurt didn’t say anything, not trusting himself to not laugh. 

Kurt waited until they were halfway home before casually asking, “So, do you guys make out a lot?”

Puck gasped and Finn stomped on the breaks. “What?!” he yelled, breathing heavily.

“Chandler told me you guys were dating.” He chuckled.

The two sighed in relief. “Oh God, Kurt, you almost gave me a heart attack,” Puck exclaimed.

“Why did you guys go to a gay bar?” Kurt asked, ignoring Puck’s comment.

“We were... trying to find another guy that Blaine slept with,” Puck said, while Finn started the car again. 

“Why?”

“So you wouldn’t have to find out about Blaine and Karofsky. We figured if you found out that Blaine cheated again, you’d leave him without having to get more hurt.”

“Oh.” Kurt smiled a little; that was actually sweet. “So, um, how did that lead to you two... ‘dating.’” Kurt used air quotes.

“We did it to fit in,” Puck admitted, hanging his head a little in shame.

“You don’t need to...”

“I figured that out a little too late. But anyway,” Puck changed the subject, “you’re talking to Chandler?”

“Yeah, we’ve been texting; he’s really nice.” Kurt reread back through the texts. He and Chandler had exchanged pictures of themselves so they can recognise each other in person. Chandler was really cute- actually, no, he was really hot. And Kurt was definitely interested. Chandler was also complimenting Kurt a lot; he had noticed the broach that Kurt was wearing, which somehow led to Kurt sending Chandler pictures of his outfits. Chandler had a good taste in fashion. _Finally_ , Kurt thought, _someone I can relate to_.

“So, what’s his deal?” Puck asked.

“His deal?”

“You know, like with his future and stuff.”

“Oh. Well, he’s 20 years old and auditioning to NYU later in the year.”

“He’s 20?!” Finn exclaimed. “Kurt, he is too old for you! There is no way you’re-“

“Finn, it’s 2 years, chill out.”

Finn grunted but didn’t say anything else on the subject.

Puck turned around in his seat to look at Kurt. “So, have you planned your date yet?”

“Yep, we’re going to Breadstix on Saturday.” Kurt gasped then. “What am I supposed to wear?!”


	18. The Date P2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt goes on his date with Chandler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty sure this is the last sad chapter so yay :)

Kurt laid out his entire wardrobe on his bed- well, his bed, floor, and cabinets. Nothing seemed right. He had mixed-and-matched his most fashionable outfits but they didn’t seem good enough. Though the blond hadn’t said anything, Kurt knew that Chandler had high expectations for him. After all, Kurt had shared his fiercest outfits with him. 

The only clothes that Kurt hadn’t brought into suggestion were the ones that Blaine had bought him. Besides, Blaine’s fashion taste wasn’t the best.

But back to the problem at hand- none of Kurt’s current clothes seemed right. The outfit had to be... perfect. They were going to Breadstix, so it couldn’t be too formal, but not too casual either. Not too fun, but nothing too serious. And nothing that reminded him of Blaine, either.

Kurt spent the next 5 minutes searching for his phone, which ended up being hidden under a pile of ‘No Way’ shirts. He scrolled through his contacts until he found Brittany’s number.

“Hey, Britt,” he said, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. He only had 27 hours until the date and that wasn’t much time. “You’re not busy, are you?”

“ _Not really_ ,” Brittany replied. “ _Me and Santana are just in the middle of... doing something._ ”

“Um, okay... anyway, I have a fashion emergency. Can you come over?”

“Sure. Shall I bring Santana, too?”

“Uh, no. It’s just purely your advice that I need.”

“ _Okay, I’ll be over soon. Bye-bye!_ ”

“Bye.”

* * *

“Oh my God,” Brittany said, eyeing the clothing-tornado that had hit Kurt’s room. “This is like... the dullest rainbow I’ve ever seen.”

Kurt gave her a confused smile. “Dullest?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, your clothes are great but even you have to admit that they’re kinda... colourless compared to what you used to wear.”

Kurt skimmed his eyes over his clothes once more. “You’re right,” he agreed. He looked at Brittney’s outfit- different primary colours combined together in a bold way. She would stand out anywhere. “Could you help me?”

“Of course.” Brittany picked up a few of Kurt’s shirts and examined them. “What’s this for, anyway?”

“I have a date in...” he looked at his watch dishearteningly, “25 hours and 37 minutes.”

“A date?” Brittany’s face lit up. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

Kurt laughed. “This guy Puck and Finn met when they went to a gay bar. His name’s Chandler.”

“Finn and Puck went to a gay bar?”

“Yup.” Kurt would never get tired of telling people that. 

“So, you’re dating again?”

“Not until I get new clothes,” Kurt said. “Should we go to the mall?”

Brittany looked at the time herself. It was almost 5:40 in the evening, so there wouldn’t be much selection. “Sure,” she said, deciding that anything would be better than Kurt’s current wardrobe. 

“Great, thank you! I owe you so bad.” Kurt pulled Brittany into a hug.

“Yes, you do.”

* * *

At the mall, Brittany was looking through shirts when she decided to investigate more into Kurt’s date.

“So,” she said, “how long have you been ready to get back out there?”

“Mm, I don’t know,” Kurt replied.

“You’ve only been single a few days, so...”

“It’s more of just a trial run,” Kurt explained. “You know, to see what ‘getting back out there’ would actually be like. If Finn and Puck found the guy, he’s not likely to be my soulmate.”

“Why not date someone you already know?”

“You mean like Puck? Because I don’t-“

“No, I mean like Sebastian.” Brittany recalled Santana telling her about the aforementioned male’s crush on Kurt, and she thought they would be cute together.

“Sebastian...” Kurt distracted himself by picking up a random shirt and headed towards the changing room. While he was in there, he thought over Brittany’s suggestion. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about being with Sebastian- in fact, he was ashamed to admit that he had thought about it from the moment he saw the boy. But there was just so many problems that would come with the relationship. For starters, Sebastian had slept with Blaine. Not to mention their great friendship. Sebastian was probably Kurt’s best friend and he wouldn’t want to do anything that would jeopardise that. 

Kurt tucked the shirt into his pants and only then did he notice what he was wearing- a bright purple dress shirt. He smoothed it down and examined his reflection. He didn’t look bad. 

He pulled back the curtain and saw Brittany standing outside of it. 

“It’s rude to just run off like that,” she said.

“Sorry.”

“That shirt looks great, by the way,” she passed him a blue cravat, “try this with it.”

Kurt put the scarf on, leaving it to hang down his shirt. “How’s this?”

“You look great,” she said, winking. “Maybe some lighter coloured pants, though. Let’s go look!”

“Wait-“

“What?”

“I need to get changed.”

* * *

Kurt waited at the table for Chandler. After an almost meltdown about his outfit again, Finn and Sam had managed to get him to Breadstix in one piece. Now all he had to do was wait for his date.

His phone buzzed on the table, and at first, Kurt thought it was Chandler again, but he was wrong.

** Sebastian: Heard you got a date :) have fun!  **

Kurt had mixed feelings. The text was a normal, friendly thing to say, but ever since Brittany’s comment... he wasn’t sure. Was there more to it? 

Kurt shook these thoughts out of his head. _No,_ he thought. _We’re just friends_. Sebastian was the only person in his life who hadn’t screwed him over- at least, not purposefully. Finn had called him a slur, Puck had bullied him, Rachel had... well, too many to count for Rachel.

He had a strong relationship with Sebastian and he didn’t need feelings to ruin that. After all, that was what had happened with Blaine. 

“Kurt?”

Kurt looked up and saw Chandler standing there in person. “H- Hi,” he croaked, his mouth suddenly felt so dry. He took a sip of water and stood up. Chandler pulled him into a hug, acting as if they were lifelong friends. It felt good.

“You look great,” Chandler said, taking in Kurt’s outfit. 

“R- Really? That’s great to hear, I was so nervous about what to wear,” he confessed. 

Chandler laughed. “ _You_ were nervous? After seeing your outfits, I got so insecure.” Chandler’s voice was fast and enthusiastic, and it rubbed off on Kurt. “I even went shopping.”

“Same!” Kurt exclaimed, feeling the rush. “Um, wanna sit down?”

“Sure!” Chandler certainly was... enthusiastic. “So, tell me about yourself. You’re a senior, right?” 

“Right.”

“How’s it going? Is the work okay?” 

“Um.” Kurt didn’t know how to answer. He hadn’t spent much time at school and had a lot of catchup work. “I-I don’t know, I’ve had a lot of time off.”

“Really? Why?”

“Uh, my d- dad died 2 months ago. So, I had to have some time off, and then my boyfriend- _ex_ -boyfriend- got really... it just wasn’t a good relationship,” he explained.

“I’m sorry,” Chandler expressed. “How are you feeling now?”

“Better,” Kurt answered honestly. “I mean, m- my dad... I’ll never be over that. But I’m out of the relationship with Blaine now and that’s a huge relief.”

“If you’re not ready to do _this_ ,” he said, referring to his and Kurt’s relationship, “I understand-“

“No, no.” Kurt gave him a smile. “I’m okay.”

“Okay/” Chandler reached across the table and took Kurt’s hand. 

* * *

Kurt wasn’t sure what the issue was. Chandler was great- perfect, in fact. He loved fashion, music, was going to New York next year... he shared all the same interests as Kurt. 

But for some reason, Kurt couldn’t connect with him. Maybe it was because of his feelings for Puck, or because he knew he wouldn’t have a long-running relationship with Chandler, but by the end of his date, he had made up his mind.

They were just walking back to Chandler’s car when Kurt was pulled in for a kiss. Kurt was shocked at first, but then he kissed Chandler back. It had been a while since he had been kissed as, towards the end of his and Blaine’s relationship, there was almost no intimacy. But with Chandler, Kurt was left wanting more. _I can’t lead him on_ , he remembered.

“Chandler-“ he said, using the tone that Finn had used back during their sophomore year whenever he thought that Kurt was going to make an unwanted move on him.

“Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, no. You’ve been great, actually. But I can’t do this.”

“Is this about your ex?”

“God, no.” Kurt laughed. “It’s just, I-I don’t feel _this_.”

“Ah.”

“And usually I fall in love at the sight of a guy, but with you...”

“Wow,” Chandler chuckled, “you really know how to make a guy feel special.”

“I- I’m sorry, I... I just don’t feel _it_.”

“It’s okay, Kurt.”

“If it helps, you’re a great kisser.”

Chandler winked at him. “I know,” he opened the passenger door to his car, “now, let me take you home.”

Kurt smiled and got into the car. “Again, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise for how you feel, it’s not your fault.”

* * *

Old habits die hard.

Later that night, Kurt called Blaine. He didn’t mean to, it was just instinct for him. There had been a lot going on that day and it was normal for him to call Blaine and tell him all about it. At least, it _was_ normal.

As soon as Kurt realised his mistake, he hung up. But not before Blaine had answered. Kurt threw his phone on the bed and stared at it. _Crap_ , he thought. 

The phone started ringing again- Blaine was calling him. Kurt waited for the call to go away, but Blaine kept recalling him. 

Slowly, Kurt went onto Blaine’s contact and pressed the block button. It was as if a huge weight had lifted off his shoulder. 

He spent the next hour trying to rest, but sleep eluded him. Sighing, he slid his phone into the pocket of his sweats and went downstairs. 

As he heated up the milk, he thought over what he had done. He had made the right choice, right? If Blaine was blocked then that meant that Kurt wouldn't be tempted anymore, and there would be no more accidental phone calls. _I did the right thing_ , he told himself.

It was at that moment when Finn came into the kitchen, giving him a questioning look. “What?” Kurt said, taking a drink of his milk.

“It’s...” he looked at the clock on the wall- which Kurt was happy to note, matched the colour scheme of the rest of the kitchen perfectly, “1:30 in the morning, and you’re drinking milk.”

“I was thirsty and couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh. Can I have some?”

Kurt chuckled and passed Finn the half-full jug of lukewarm milk. “Knock yourself out.”

“So, how was your date with the 20-year-old?”

“It was good,” Kurt looked into his almost empty cup, “but we’re not going to do it again.”

“Why?”

“I just didn’t feel a connection.”

“I didn’t feel one with Rachel at the start either but I grew feelings for her over time.”

“While that may be the case for you, I normally catch feelings straight away. I mean, I fell for you just watching you walk down the hall, and for Sam just by thinking he was gay, and for Blaine just for his...” Kurt sighed, “smile.”

“And did any of those work out?”

“No...”

“Exactly! Maybe that’s the problem.”

“Possibly, but,” Kurt ran his fingers through his hair, “I don’t know how to explain it. He’s too perfect. I need someone who’s a work in progress, someone who can help me grow as I person, and I do the same for them. I want a relationship that will make me better, but if I was with him, I’d stay the same. We have too much in common, there’d be no pathetic arguments or time apart. There’d be no spark. He’s too perfect for me.”

“Opposites attract,” Finn said, and he and Kurt clinked their mugs together.

“I’ll drink to that.”

Finn and Kurt heard someone coming down the stairs. They ducked under the kitchen table, thinking that it was Carole and not wanting to get grounded for making a mess in the kitchen at 1 A.M. 

“Guys?”

The brothers sighed in relief, recognising the voice as Sam’s. They got out from under the table and smiled at their roommate. 

“What are you guys doing up?” Sam asked.

“Just talking,” Finn answered. “Uh, why are you up?”

“I heard you leave the room and assumed you were going to the bathroom, then you didn’t come back so I figured you came down here.”

“Ah." He and Kurt shared a look.

“So, do you guys do this often?”

“Not really,” Kurt replied. “Just when neither of us can sleep.”

“Can I join you guys?”

“Of course.” Kurt poured Sam the last of the milk. 

* * *

“I can’t believe you!” 

Puck had just found out about Kurt rejecting Chandler, and to say he was peeved would be an understatement. 

“Listen, Puck-“

“I can’t believe you!”

Kurt sighed. He and Puck were supposed to be watching a movie together, and he had tried to casually drop the news but it had all blown out of proportion. “Puck, it just wasn’t working out-“

“Kurt, he was perfect for you!”

“That’s the problem, I don’t want perfect.”

“How can you not want _perfect_? It’s _perfect_.”

“Perfect is too easy,” Kurt muttered. “Why are you so mad about this, anyway?”

“Because I want you to be happy.”

Kurt turned to Puck and smiled. “I don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy.”

“I know, but...”

“No buts. I have the best friends in the world, and that’s all I need,” Kurt leaned his head on Puck’s shoulder. “Now, can we play the movie? Finn and Sam will be home soon.”

“Yeah.” Puck pressed play and then intertwined his fingers with Kurt’s.

* * *

Kurt decided to spend as much time as he could with Puck as he could. He couldn’t spend every minute with him since he also had a ton of schoolwork to catch up on. Unless...

Kurt grabbed his phone from his desk. He had been staring at the same math question for almost 40 minutes and it was going nowhere.

He dialled Puck’s number, knowing that he needed some help, and Finn was almost as bad at maths as he was. Puck was actually mediocre when it came to maths, so he could be some use to Kurt.

“ _What’s up, Hummel?_ ” Puck greeted.

“Are you busy?”

“ _Nope_.”

“Great! Um, I’m trying to do maths, but I don’t really get it. Could you help?”

“ _I’ll try my best. Do you want me to come over or..?_ ”

“Yes! Please.” He could hardly contain his excitement. It had been a few days since he had last seen Puck.

“ _‘Kay, I’ll be there in 10_.”

Kurt hung up the phone and hugged the device to his chest. 

* * *

“Kurt!”

“What?” No answer. “What?!” Kurt yelled back, louder.

“Kurt!”

“What?!”

“Kurt!”

“Oh my God!” Kurt dragged himself off his bed and went to see what Finn wanted in person. He got halfway down the stairs and yelled, “What, Finn?!”

“Puck’s here,” Finn said, standing beside the open front door. He and Puck both looked a little afraid of Kurt’s attitude.

“Oh.” Kurt took a deep breath. “Okay. Shall we go upstairs?” 

“Uh, sure.” Puck nodded, approaching the staircase. 

Finn patted him on the shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen. “Good luck, dude,” he muttered. 

Kurt shot him daggers despite his brother not being able to see, then pulled Puck up to his bedroom. 

“So, this maths problem,” Puck started. He was about to sit at Kurt’s desk when instead he was pulled onto the bed.

He and Kurt looked at each other for a long time, until Puck leaned in and connected their lips. They kissed for a few seconds until they had to pull apart to breathe. “Yeah,” Kurt murmured, catching his breath. “It’s really hard.”

“S- So, uh, what is it?”

“Algebra.”

“Oh, yeah, it can be-“

“Just shut up,” Kurt whispered and pushed his lips back against Puck’s. 

“Kurt, wait-“

“What?” Kurt reluctantly pulled away.

“Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, you and Blaine broke up like a week ago, then Chandler, now me? This isn’t like you.”

“M- Maybe I wasn’t myself before. You know, there wasn’t much choice and-“

“Kurt, I don’t want to do this.”

“ _You_ kissed _me_ first!”

“I know, I know. But that was wrong-“

“It’s wrong to kiss me?” Kurt couldn’t help but feel a little offended.

“You’re really vulnerable right now and-“

“I’m _not_ vulnerable!”

“You’re not fooling anyone, Kurt. We know that you’re not even over your dad yet-“

“Shut up!” Kurt snapped. _Don’t talk about my dad_ , he wanted to scream. 

“I- I’m sorry, I just-“

“Don’t! Just-Just stop, please.”

Puck didn’t say anything. Kurt took a few deep breaths, desperately trying to hold back tears.

“Are you okay?” Puck asked gently. Kurt didn’t answer him, concentrating on his breathing.

_ Don’t think about him. Don’t think about him. Don’t think about him _ , Kurt thought over and over. 

“Kurt-“

“P- P- P- Please go,” Kurt stammered. Tears rolled down his cheeks. 

“Kurt, what’s wrong?” 

“Why did he have to die?” Kurt whispered, shoving his head into his hands.

“Kurt, don’t do this.” Puck put his arm around his friend, patting his back. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I miss him so much,” Kurt whimpered. He uncurled himself and then wrapped his arms around Puck. “Why can’t I have him back?”

“You know why,” Puck shushed.

“Anyone else in the world and they took the greatest dad ever.”

“I know, dude.”

“And it’s my senior year and it’s just one thing after another. When will it be enough? When will I have been _hurt_ enough?!” Kurt started to yell again, so Puck held him tightly and whispered “It’ll be okay” over and over. 

“I just miss him so much.”


	19. A Night To Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Puck takes Kurt and the guys out drinking. Sebastian confesses his feelings to Kurt.

Kurt thought that after that night with Puck, things would be awkward. They were, but not as uncomfortable as he assumed they would be. They still hung out together, but never just the two of them. And Puck acted extra careful around Kurt, being mindful of what he said.

Kurt thought he had ruined his chances with Puck for good.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since the breakdown and the guys were going out drinking later that night. Kurt wasn’t aware that he was being included in the term ‘guys’ until Puck asked if he was picking up Kurt, Sam, and Finn, or if they were getting there another way.

Kurt tried to not look completely taken aback by being included when Puck asked. Finn turned around to face Kurt, “What do you wanna do?”

“Uh, whatever,” Kurt replied nonchalantly, shrugging.

“Sam?”

“I guess Puck can take us,” Sam said, looking at Kurt for confirmation. 

After Kurt had nodded, Puck said, “Okay. I’ll pick you guys up at 7.”

* * *

Finn, Sam, and Kurt were driving back home when Finn mentioned casually, “I told my mom we’re studying at Puck‘s tonight, so go along with it.”

“What bar are we going to?” Kurt asked, slightly concerned. 

“Uh, I dunno, one Puck found, why?” Finn replied. 

“I-” Kurt shook his head. “Nothing.”

Sam poked his head in between the two front seats. “No, what is it? Do you not want to go?”

“W- What if the bar has homophobes?” 

Finn looked at Sam through the mirror, a concerned look on his face.

“We’ll protect you if anyone says anything,” Sam said. “You know that.”

“Who else is going?” 

“Uh, Mike, Rory, Sebastian, those two Warblers that are dating, and... I think that’s it,” Sam listed.

Kurt made a sound in acknowledgement. Surrounding himself with 9 other people sounded like a good option- nothing really bad could happen, right? “Okay.”

* * *

“Dude, you ready to go?” a faint voice asked. 

Kurt couldn’t detect whether it was Finn or Sam, so he just yelled back, “Almost. Just gotta get dressed!”

“So, we’re gonna be like another 40 minutes, right?” Kurt could hear clearly now that the voice was Sam’s.

“At least,” Finn replied.

Kurt rolled his eyes. He wasn’t going to be _that_ long, especially since his outfit was only simple. He didn’t want to draw too much attention to himself as long as he was in a regular bar- it was 6:40 P.M on a Saturday night, who knew who would be in the bars. 

He pulled on a pair of barely-ripped jeans that he had worn exactly twice since he had bought them. He then studied what shirt to wear. In the end, he decided on a loose black-and-white striped shirt. He spent a minute checking his outfit in the mirror then grabbed his phone and ran downstairs.

Finn glanced at his watch, a surprised look on his face. “Dude, you took like 5 minutes. You’ve taken longer to get ready when the fire alarm went off.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Kurt said. “How long is Puck going to be?”

“Uh, we didn’t think you’d be this fast, so, I’ll tell him to set off now,” Finn said, walking into the kitchen for privacy. 

“You gonna be okay tonight?” Sam asked, swinging his arm around Kurt’s shoulder.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve been to bars before...”

“ _A_ bar. And it was a gay bar.”

“So?” Kurt snapped.

“Nothing,” Sam said, squeezing Kurt’s shoulder. 

Carole came into the hall, smiling at them. “You boys look nice. Are you going to have a good time at Noah’s?”

“Yup!” Sam chirped.

Kurt nodded in agreement. “Do I look okay?” he asked, brushing down his jeans.

Carole blushed a little. “Aw, look at you.”

“What?” Kurt frowned.

“You have a crush on Noah!”

“What! No, I don’t!”

“Oh, come on. Why else would you dress up for him?”

“It’s not just for him, there’s-“ Kurt was about to rant about how others were going with them, but Sam covered his mouth with his hand. 

“Kurt is totally crushing on Puck!” Sam exclaimed. Kurt, annoyed, licked Sam’s hand. “Ew!”

“I do not!” Kurt blushed, but by that point, Finn had walked back into the room.

“Puck’s on his way,” he said. “Let’s go wait outside.”

Kurt sighed. _I can already tell this night is going to be a disaster_ , he thought.

* * *

“Whoa, you might wanna slow down.”

Kurt rolled his eyes at Sebastian. As it turned out, the bar was almost empty aside from a few others, so Kurt’s anxiety fell a little. 

The night started off okay, and Kurt would have admitted to enjoying himself a little, but that was when _she_ walked in. Kurt had no idea who she was, but Puck did- or at least, seemed to. As soon as she walked inside the bar, Puck made his way over to her table. 

By this point, he had been talking to the girl for around half an hour and Kurt would be lying if he’d said he hadn’t noticed. 

He was on his second glass of beer, drinking it quite quickly, when Sebastian came over and commented on it.

“Why?” Kurt asked, taking another huge gulp of the burning beverage. 

“Because you drink, like, never, so it’s not good to consume so much at once,” Sebastian said. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.”

“C’mon, Kurt, I know you. You wouldn’t be acting like this if something wasn’t bothering you.”

Kurt put his empty glass down. “Buy me another drink and I might confess.”

Sebastian sighed. “Fine, but after this, no more. I don’t want to be responsible for you throwing up.”

“I haven’t done that since sophomore year.” Kurt laughed.

Sebastian gave Kurt a curious look. “What happened sophomore year?”

Kurt chuckled again and, in between sips of his drink, he told Sebastian the story of how April Rhodes gave him alcohol at school and he ended up throwing up on Miss Pillsbury’s shoes. By now, he was starting to feel a little lightheaded and excited. He abruptly pulled Sebastian into a hug.

Sebastian hugged him back. “Kurt,” he said softly. “I have to tell you something.”

Kurt pulled away slightly, still keeping his arms wrapped around Sebastian’s neck. “What is it?”

“I- I like you.” 

Kurt looked confused for a few seconds, then smiled. “I like you too!”

“R- Really?” Sebastian felt his heart flip. _He likes me too_ , he thought excitedly. 

“Duh! That’s why we’re friends.”

_ Friends _ . “Friends?” Sebastian should have seen this coming. Why would Kurt- perfect, amazing Kurt- feel the same was as Sebastian did? “Right, friends.”

“Can I tell _you_ a secret?” 

“Sure.” Sebastian sighed. He had just been friend-zoned by the man of his dreams; not like things could get any worse.

“I have a crush on Puck.”

Nope. Way worse. Way, way worse. _Puck_?! Noah ‘Puck’ Puckerman? “Oh.”

“But, y- you see, he’s talking to another girl now! Her.” Kurt pointed to Puck and the girl, giving her a death stare. “I thought he liked me. We made out a few weeks ago, and I- I think he rejected me?”

_ Why would anyone reject you _ , Sebastian thought.

“But,” Kurt continued, “he also _didn’t_ reject me. He just said I’m vulnerable right now, which doesn’t make sense, because I’m 100% a-okay, and besides, he set me up with Chandler! So, why set me up with someone if he’s not willing to date me himself? No sense!”

The image of Kurt dating someone else made Sebastian feel sick. “Right.”

“What should I do?”

_ Oh crap _ . Was he seriously about to give his crush dating advice? “I- I don’t know.” Sebastian let go of Kurt’s waist. “Maybe talk to him?”

“He’s with _her_.”

“Wait for him to finish.”

“What if he leaves and...” Kurt lowered his voice to a whisper, “ _does the devil’s tango with her._ ”

Sebastian laughed loudly. “You did not just refer to sex like that.”

“I think I just did.” Kurt winked. He stared at Sebastian until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Puck.

“Mind if I steal this cutie from you?” Puck asked Sebastian.

“Be my guest.” Sebastian pushed Kurt in the direction of Puck. 

Puck took Kurt by his shoulders and led him towards the bar. “Can I get you a drink?” he asked.

“Sebastian cut me off.”

“Okay,” Puck drawled. 

“Who was that girl?”

“Who- oh! Uh, Abby. I cleaned her mom’s pool once and we kinda hit it off.”

“Why aren’t you going home with her?”

Puck chuckled. “Dude, I already did. Like, a year ago.”

“O- Oh.”

“Didn’t you get that from ‘hit it off?’” 

“No.”

Puck looked at Kurt curiously. “You okay? You seem a little off.”

“I’m fine,” Kurt lied. It hurt to hear about Puck sleeping around. 

“Do you wanna go home? I can drive you-“

“I can’t,” Kurt replied quickly. “Carole thinks we’re staying at yours.”

“Then I’ll take you back to my place.”

“R- Really? It’s only,” Kurt checked his phone, “10:30.”

“You’re clearly drunk so the sooner you get to bed the better.”

“Okay.” Kurt took Puck’s offered hand. Puck quickly told Finn that he was taking Kurt home, and after confirming that no one else wanted a ride, the two of them went to the car. 

* * *

Kurt stared out of the window. It wasn’t a long drive back to Puck’s, only about 20 minutes, but it felt like it lasted forever. Between listening to Puck softly hum along with whatever song was on the radio (Kurt had no idea what was playing), and the way that the stars barely lit up the dark sky, made Kurt feel... safe? He felt like he could stay this way forever and he wouldn’t mind. 

Puck felt the same. Every time they drove past a streetlight, Kurt’s face lit up. His eyes sparkled, but at the same time, he looked clueless. Content. Peaceful. “You can borrow some of my clothes,” Puck said. The radio had gone onto adverts so he needed to say something to fill up the silence.

“What?” Kurt looked at Puck, a confused look on his face. 

“To sleep in.”

“When?”

“Tonight, we’re going home now.”

“Oh,” Kurt turned away from Puck, “okay.”

“You don’t feel sick or anything, right? You drank quite a bit.”

“I’m good.” Kurt realised something. “Wait, you drank. Why are you driving?”

“I didn’t drink.”

“I saw you!”

“Non-alcoholic, genius. I wouldn’t drink and drive.”

Kurt nodded his head. 2 years- no, probably only one year- ago, Kurt would’ve bet everything he had that Puck would drive while intoxicated without a second thought. But now? It was clear that Puck had grown up a lot. 

* * *

Kurt felt his heart race when Puck took his hand and helped him get up the stairs. 

“Do you wanna sleep in my bed?” Puck asked. 

“Where would you sleep?” Kurt asked. He couldn’t help it; the alcohol made his mind dirty. 

“The couch.”

“Oh. No, I’ll take the couch-“

“Sure you will.” Puck chuckled. 

Puck opened his bedroom door, and Kurt’s eyes immediately set on the double bed in the corner. It looked so warm and comfortable...

And before he knew it, he was being gently pushed into the soft mattress. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Are you telling me that you wanna get back up and go sleep on that uncomfortable couch instead?”

“I’m tired.” Kurt avoided the question.

“Go to sleep then.”

“I’ll feel bad. This is your bed-“

“Kurt, I’m being nice. Goodnight.” Puck turned around to leave the room but Kurt grabbed his hand.

“Wait.”

He turned back around and Kurt pulled him onto the bed. He was about to say something when Kurt kissed him roughly. This time, Puck didn’t reject him and instead kissed him back. He let himself get lost in the moment for a while until he had to come back to reality to catch his breath. “Kurt,” he whispered.

“Don’t tell me that I’m vulnerable.”

“Kurt, I- I just don’t think you can handle a relationship right now-“

“Then why did you set me up with Chandler?!”

“Because... Kurt, just go to sleep.”

“Do you not feel the same way? Because _you_ kissed _me_ first, and I-“

“I do.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t want to be with me.”

“Blaine was a jerk- more than a jerk- to you. You didn’t deserve to go through that, and I’m scared that if we date, I’ll accidentally hurt you. You know my past. I cheated and lied and broke so many hearts. I don’t want to add you to my list of mistakes.”

Kurt sighed. What Puck was saying made sense. A _lot_ of sense. People could change. Blaine had changed. Puck had grown up a lot since sophomore year. “You’re aware that what you did to those girls was wrong, right?”

“Of course.”

“And you wouldn’t do that to me? Or to anyone else?”

“Never.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I...” Puck was stumped. “Huh.”

“I know that I let Blaine get away with too much and I won’t make the same mistake with you if you do anything bad to me." He took Puck’s hand. “I promise.”

“And I promise too.”

Kurt leaned in to kiss Puck and was thankful when he was kissed back. Puck got adventurous and moved his lips down Kurt’s neck, kissing it and then sucking it. Kurt let out a whine and begged for Puck to keep going but the other boy put a finger on his lips. “We’ll talk about this in the morning before we do anything else. You’re still drunk and I want to make sure that you want to do this. Okay?”

“Okay.” Kurt reluctantly flopped back on the bed. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

* * *

Kurt woke up in the morning with a minor headache. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. 

He was still a little woozy, so when he saw that he wasn’t in his own bed, he assumed he was in Blaine’s. 

Kurt threw his hand to the other side of the bed and was surprised when he found it to be empty. _Blaine’s not here_ , he thought. He yawned, stretched, then finally looked around the room. It was bright, which made him realise he wasn’t in Blaine’s bed. _Blaine and I broke up_ , he recalled. 

But he still didn’t know where he was.

He must’ve slept funny because his neck was slightly sore. He groaned as he cracked his knuckles and decided to go downstairs to see where he was. 

His phone was on the nightstand and since there weren’t any mirrors anywhere, he used the camera to see how he looked. Upon seeing the dark hickey on his neck, he let out a gasp and immediately slapped his hand over it to cover it up. _Who the hell gave me this?_ he thought. Had he accidentally gotten back together with Blaine? Was he in a strangers house? Why couldn’t he remember the night before? Had he been drugged without knowing? 

He pulled his hand away and made his way downstairs, walking down slowly so he could hear if anyone was already down there. Noises were coming from the kitchen. They were barely audible and it sounded like one person talking to themselves. In fact, they sounded awfully familiar.

“Kurt?” The person walked into the hallway, and after a second, Kurt recognised him. Puck. “You’re finally awake.”

“Am I at your house?” Kurt asked, looking around. There were no pictures on the walls.

“Yeah. Are you sure you only had 3 drinks? You shouldn’t be losing your memory of last night.”

“Last night?” Kurt tried desperately but he couldn’t remember anything. “I don’t remember. I don’t drink.”

“You definitely did last night, I had to take you home.”

“Oh.” That’s how he ended up here. “Do you know who gave me this?” he asked, pointing to the hickey on his neck.

“I did.” Puck seemed very proud of himself.

“Y- You did? Did we... you know?”

“Wow, you really don’t remember anything. Maybe it’s because you slept for so long.”

“How long?”

“14 hours.”

“Four- Fourteen?!” If Kurt was drinking at that moment he would have spat it out. “What time is it?”

“Around 1 P.M.”

Kurt had never slept past 8 A.M.- not even on a weekend. “God. Where’s everyone else?”

“They crashed at Mike’s. I’ll take you home later.”

“Okay. Can you answer my question please?”

“We didn’t have sex if that’s what you’re wondering. We just made out a little.” Puck reached out and took Kurt’s hand. “Listen, last night you said some pretty cool stuff-“

“Like what?”

“About how I’ve changed and you won’t let me get away with the stuff Blaine did if we did date.”

“I said all that while I was drunk?”

“Yeah, it was weird.”

“So,” Kurt bit his lip, “what did you say?”

“I said we’ll talk about it in the morning. I didn’t want you to make any big decisions unless you’re sober.”

Kurt could hear his heartbeat. “And now?”

“Now,” Puck took a deep breath, “do you want to go on a date with me?”

“Yes!” Kurt smiled widely and threw his arms around Puck. A few months ago, he never would have thought he’d be with Puck. But now? It seemed... normal. “On one condition though.”

“Yeah?”

“You have to tell Finn.”

“Damnit!”

* * *

On Monday, Puck and Kurt walked into Glee together holding hands. They got a few curious looks from some of the members but no one said anything.

“Okay,” Mr Shue said. “Your assignment for this week is to-“

“Hang on, Mr Shue. Uh, I have something I’d like to announce to everyone,” Puck interrupted. He walked to the front of the classroom, not waiting for Mr Shue to answer him. “Kurt and I are dating. Finn, please don’t kill me.”

Kurt looked around the room. Finn looked shocked, Rachel looked a little jealous, Santana was whispering to Brittany. Sebastian- Sebastian looked... Kurt couldn’t read his face.

_ “Why not date someone you already know?” Brittany asked. _

_ “You mean like Puck, because I don’t-“ _

_ “No, I mean like Sebastian.” _

Kurt wasn’t sure why he didn’t feel that way about Sebastian. He knew you weren’t supposed to crush on every gay guy- after all, he didn’t like David or Chandler that way. But Sebastian was the dream guy; everything he wanted in a boyfriend. The guy he daydreamed about marrying when he was younger. Smart, attractive, caring, sarcastic, funny... the best friend who was also your partner. His Prince Charming.

Sebastian was his best friend. Their friendship was too strong to go to that level. Besides, he had Puck now. Puck, who had gone out of his way time and time again to protect him. Puck, who had gone from throwing him in the trash to walking him to class every day to make sure he wasn’t harassed. 

Kurt had made Puck a better person. Puck had made Kurt happier. They had both changed each other for the better.

And that was all Kurt wanted in a boyfriend, right? 


	20. Sebastian Smythe: Dark Side P1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s duet week again in Glee, and Sebastian gets stuck working with the last person he wants to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year!  
> Since all the chapters so far have been Kurt-centred, I’ve decided to dedicate a chapter to Sebastian :3  
> TW:  
> \- Attempted non-con  
> i believe this is the last chapter with a non-con tw so yay :)

Sebastian caught Kurt’s eye and gave him a supportive smile. He was happy for Kurt; his friend deserved to be with someone who treated him well. Even if that person wasn’t Sebastian. 

After Kurt had looked away, he dropped the fake smile. He wished he was Puck, that he could wrap Kurt in his arms and kiss him over and over. That he could hold Kurt’s hand and show him off to the world. That he could listen to Kurt’s problems and be supportive and get to know about his life. 

Sebastian let his mind wander back Saturday night. 

_ “I- I like you.”  _

_ “I like you too!” _

_ “R- Really?” _

_ “Duh! That’s why we’re friends.” _

Kurt had basically told him that they would never be anything more than friends, hadn’t he? Sebastian couldn’t blame him. He had slept with Blaine- why would he choose Blaine when Kurt was _right there_?!- and then when Kurt was finally single, he didn’t make a move until Kurt was practically in another guy’s arms.

Were he and Kurt still friends? Kurt was drunk, but he wasn’t _stupid_ \- did he know what Sebastian was trying to say, and chose to let him down easy? Or was he really just clueless?

There were so many unanswered questions, but Sebastian couldn’t get any answers. Kurt was with Puck now, and that was that. 

“You okay?”

Sebastian turned around in his seat to see Santana staring at him. She was one of the only people who knew about his feelings for Kurt, aside from Blaine and his best friend back in France, and by the way that the blonde was looking at him, Brittany, too. “Yeah,” he lied. “Just sucks, I guess.” It more than sucks. Everything hurts.” 

“If it makes you feel better, I don’t think they’re going to last.”

“Yeah,” Brittany chimed in. “This proves it.” She took a piece of paper out of her back pocket and passed it to him.

Sebastian unfolded it and laughed. It was badly drawn, but the labels clearly showed that it was a double wedding between Santana, Brittany, himself, and Kurt. “That’s cute. Thanks, Brittany.”

“No problem. I had some spare time in bio so I got creative.”

“I can see that.”

Sebastian turned back to the front to listen to Mr Shue. They had to do another duet. Sebastian sighed; why was it always duets? He and Kurt were already doing the duet at Regionals, so really, they should be rehearsing Mercedes’ solo and the group number.

He looked around the room and realised he had to find someone to actually work with. Normally, he would go with Kurt, but it seemed like his friend was doing it with Puck. Santana was with Brittany. Trent was with Rory. Nick and Jeff were together. Rachel and Finn. The only person left was... _Blaine_. Ugh. 

It seemed that the ex-Warbler had the same realisation because he jumped out of his seat and almost ran over to the empty seat beside Sebastian. 

“Good luck,” Santana teased before turning back to Brittany. 

“Do you want to come to my place after school?” Blaine asked. Just the sound of his voice made Sebastian cringe. How could he ever get through a duet with this monster?

“No. I’ll drive you to my place,” Sebastian replied. _That would be the safest option_ , he thought. “Or you could drive yourself.”

“Fine. What song do you want to do?” 

“We’ll talk about that later,” Sebastian muttered. He noticed Kurt waving him over, so he stood up and made his way across the room. “Hey,” he said, sitting backwards on an empty seat.

“Are you okay working with him?” Kurt asked, looking at Sebastian with concerned-filled eyes. It gave Sebastian a warm feeling in his chest to know that Kurt cared. 

“Yeah, it’s okay.”

“Are you sure? Maybe we could convince Mr Shue to let you work in a trio with us-“

_ Us _ . “It’s okay, Kurt. Someone has to work with him. Besides, I wouldn’t want to be the third wheel between you and your,” he swallowed hard, “ _boyfriend_.”

“Thanks, man,” Puck said. “If he gets to be a bother or anything, let us know. I wouldn’t mind teaching him another lesson.”

“Puck, you’ll get suspended again,” Kurt said, leaning his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“True,” Puck muttered. “Still, I wouldn’t mind doing that for Sebastian. He looked out for you and all.”

Sebastian smiled. Maybe Puck wasn’t that bad after all. “Thanks.”

* * *

Blaine insisted on riding in the car with Sebastian, claiming that he was bad at following drivers and would get lost. Sebastian was too annoyed to point out that they lived only a few streets apart so it wouldn’t be too hard to find his house. Blaine also tried to coax Sebastian into letting him stay over, but Sebastian said that Blaine could walk home and find another way to school.

After that, Blaine had tried to make small talk, but Sebastian turned the radio on full volume, and Blaine annoyingly sang along.

_ Everybody's got a dark side _

_ Do you love me?  _

_ Can you love mine?  _

_ Nobody's a picture-perfect _

_ But we're worth it _

“We’re doing this song,” Sebastian told him.

“Why?”

“We both know the words so we can get it over and done with.”

“Whatever,” Blaine muttered. 

Sebastian sighed. This would be over before he knew it. 

* * *

He threw his bag on the floor while Blaine neatly hung his on the back of the door. He plopped himself down on the couch while Blaine sat on his bed. 

“When do you want to perform?” Blaine asked, breaking the silence between them.

“Tomorrow.”

“That soon? We have all week-“

“My dad has this stupid party thing I have to go to,” Sebastian explained, subconsciously looking at the suit that hung on his door. Kurt had bought him the suit, claiming that it was ‘made for him.’ “I can’t practice this weekend, so we might as well get it over and done with?”

“Is the party this Saturday?”

“Yeah, why?” Sebastian half-heartedly turned his gaze towards Blaine. 

“I think my dad’s going to it, that’s all.”

“Whatever. Shall we get started?”

“My throats a little dry, can you get me a drink or something?”

“Fine,” Sebastian grunted and sat up. If a drink was what it took to get this done with, then so be it. 

He ran downstairs, grateful that his parents weren’t home. If his mom was here, she might actually make Blaine feel _welcome_.

He grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen and thought over how he got into this situation. He was doing a duet with the guy who he regretted sleeping with, who also happened to be the ex of the guy he ~~was in love~~ \- had a crush on. 

He opened his door and was met with a surprise. Blaine was lying shirtless on his bed in a rather... suggestive position. 

“What are you doing?” Sebastian yelled, dropping the bottle on the floor. He didn’t bother to pick it up.

“Oh, come on, Sebastian. Don’t act like you don’t want this,” Blaine murmured, sitting up and patting the empty spot on Sebastian’s bed.

“I _don’t_.” 

“Then why did you choose to work with me?”

“I was _forced_ to! I didn’t have a choice, I don’t want this. Get the hell out of my house!” 

“Why do you hate me?” Blaine asked.

Sebastian scoffed. _As if you don’t already know_ , he thought. “You made Kurt’s life hell!”

“But I didn’t do that to _you_!”

“I care about Kurt!”

“Why?” 

Sebastian marched into his room and pointed his finger in Blaine’s face. “Because he is the only decent person left in my life.”

Blaine ran his hands up and down Sebastian’s arms, sending chills down Sebastian’s spine. “You know you don’t have a shot with Kurt, right?”

“I- I know.” Sebastian wasn’t sure why he wasn’t pushing Blaine away. 

“So,” he pressed his lips against Sebastian’s ear, “why don’t we do this?”

That was when Sebastian pushed him away. “Because I can't hurt Kurt.”

* * *

* * *

“So you don’t care that he hurt you?” 

“He never hurt me.”

Blaine laughed and didn’t say anything.

“What’s so funny?” Sebastian asked, narrowing his eyes.

“You don’t see it, do you?”

“See what?”

“Kurt will never want you. You’re too good. Why do you think he’s with Puck? Why do you think he was with me for so long? He only dates people who hurt him.”

Sebastian’s heart dropped. From what he had heard about Puck’s past, Blaine’s comment checked out. 

“So,” Blaine continued, “why should you keep trying to make him happy? He’ll never see you that way.” Blaine leaned back in and kissed Sebastian’s exposed collarbone. “Let’s do this.”

“No!” Sebastian yelled, pushing Blaine away from him. _Why won’t he stop?_

“Come on, Sebastian,” Blaine murmured, unaffected by Sebastian’s harsh movements. “We both know you want this. I saw the way you looked at me when I was with Kurt. Could you make it more obvious that you want me?”

“It’s not you that I want, it’s Kurt! You _know_ that.”

Blaine narrowed his eyes at that. _Sebastian wants Kurt, and not me?_ Blaine thought. _I thought that was a joke…_ “I’ll have to change that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Blaine smirked and crawled closer to Sebastian, backing the other male up until his back hit the bed frame. Sebastian was trapped.

“Please, let me go.” Sebastian’s mind drifted back to what Blaine tried to do at Scandals. This wasn’t the same thing, right? Blaine wouldn’t do it. He just had to get free and kick Blaine out.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Sebastian,” Blaine purred, holding Sebastian’s arms in place and putting his lips against the other male’s neck, “because no one can like Kurt and not me.”

“You’ll never change my mind, and even if you could, this certainly isn’t the way to do it.” Sebastian’s voice was shaking. Blaine couldn’t be _serious_ ,#; he was full of empty threats, just like Kurt said. All he had to do was...

“Oh, Sebastian…” Blaine leaned in to connect their lips.

Sebastian took the opportunity to use his legs and kicked Blaine off of himself. 

Blaine doubled over in pain as Sebastian jumped off the bed and ran towards the door. “Oh, that’s it, you just love hurting people,” Blaine growled.

“What?” Sebastian paused at the door.

“That’s why you told him about us sleeping together. That’s why you told him about Karofsky. So he would feel pain. And then you would swoop in and act as the hero. You’re not a hero, Sebastian. You’re the villain. Just face it, you enjoy hurting him. You’re just like me.”

“Why do you want to hurt him?” Sebastian asked, ignoring everything Blaine had just said. It wasn’t true. 

“Because it’s easy to. He’s weak.”

“He’s the strongest person I know,” Sebastian shot back. 

Blaine held back his laughter. “Whatever you say, babe.”

Sebastian was about to hiss ‘ _don’t call me babe_ ’ when he was pushed back up against the door, his face hitting the cold wood.

Blaine began to take off the rest of his clothes.

_ He’s not going to stop _ , Sebastian realised with horror. There had to be away to get him off.

“You’re going to thank me,” Blaine whispered into Sebastian’s ear.

“No, I won’t.”

Was this how Kurt had felt? Sebastian had never felt as scared in his life. Blaine was feeling up Sebastian now.

“Do you remember the first time we slept together?” Blaine asked.

_ Like I could ever forget _ , Sebastian thought bitterly.

There had to be some way to escape this, but Blaine was _so strong_ and he had such a tight grip.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” Blaine continued.

“Why me?” Sebastian asked, trying to hold back tears. It was only a matter of time until… “I thought you wanted Kurt.”

“I do.”

“Then why are you making me sleep with you?” That was it, the tears were falling and Blaine finally pulled away.

“Are you _crying_?” he scoffed. “And I’m not making you do _anything_.”

Sebastian turned around. He was finally free. “Yes, you were. _Now get the hell out of my house before I call the cops_.”

* * *

* * *

Sebastian couldn’t sleep that night. 

How was he supposed to handle what had happened? He couldn’t tell his parents, they either wouldn’t care or would make him keep quiet about it so as to not disgrace the Smythe or Anderson name. Even if he went to the police about it, Blaine had bragged on many occasions about how he and his Dalton buddies had gotten out of trouble thanks to his father buying him out. And Nick, after explaining the GAP attack incident, had told Sebastian in private that Jerimiah and his boss had filed a complaint about the Warblers, yet it all quietly went away. So, yeah, none of that would work. 

Would reporting it to the school work? Or would Blaine somehow talk his way out of that, too? If Sebastian told Mr Shue, it would probably end in the pair having to sing out their feelings. No one would really take him seriously, would they?

Kurt was on his mind now more than ever. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Kurt would say if he knew what Blaine had done. He would probably force Sebastian to tell someone. And that would put Kurt in danger. No, Kurt couldn’t have anything to do with Blaine anymore.

Would Kurt even care, though? He had Puck now...

_ No _ , Sebastian told himself.  _Stop thinking like that. Kurt will always be my friend, no matter who he’s dating. He’s not that kind of guy._

Sebastian sighed. He had to find _something_ to do. His parents were still at work, as usual, so it wouldn't be fun to sneak out. Besides, the idea of sex right now… He just grabbed his phone from the nightstand and climbed onto his roof. He felt somewhat rebellious, as his mother had told him to never sit on the roof.

He went onto the favourites section on his phone and hovered his finger between Kurt’s number and Santana’s. Who would he rather talk to?

Eventually, he decided to call Santana, knowing that he would end up telling Kurt what Blaine had done.

“Hey,” he said after Santana picked up. “Can I talk to you?”

“ _Sure._ ” Santana yawned. He must’ve woken her up. “ _You do know that it’s 2 A.M. right?_ ”

“Yeah, I just can’t sleep,” he took a deep breath, “I feel really… used.”

He heard her shuffle and then say, “ _What happened, babe?_ ”

“Blaine tried to have sex with me...”

“ _What?_ ”

“He got really pushy and I didn’t want to sleep with him but he wouldn’t stop… Eventually, I managed to say that he was forcing me, and he stopped and left.” Sebastian started to tear up. He never cried.  _What’s wrong with me?_

“ _Are you okay?_ ”

“I don’t know. I just feel so uncomfortable and the fact that I have to see him tomorrow just… it scares me for some reason.”

“ _Sebastian, what are you going to do?_ ”

“Nothing. Just avoid him, I guess.”

Santana sighed and he knew he would have a lecture coming at some point. “ _Are you going to tell Kurt?_ ”

“I don’t want to hurt him, but I also don’t want to lie to him. So, I guess I am.”

“ _God, Sebastian_.”

“I know. Now I know how Kurt felt..”

“ _What?_ ”

Sebastian cursed under his breath. “Nothing.”

“ _Speaking of nothing, you should definitely tell someone about this._ ”

“I have; I told you.”

“ _An adult, Sebastian. You shouldn’t keep these things to yourself, please._ ”

“I’ll think about it.” He wouldn’t. “I’m going to go to sleep now, goodnight.” He wasn’t.

“ _Goodnight, Sebastian._ ”

* * *

Sebastian woke up feeling something dig into his back. He groaned and slapped his ‘mattress,’ assuming it was a lump or something. He winced in pain and realised it wasn’t his mattress. It was a roof tile. “Crap,” he muttered. He’d fallen asleep on the roof again. 

He rubbed his sore muscles and jumped back into his bedroom. He took his phone out and found that he had a missed call from Kurt. No, 4 missed calls from Kurt. And a text. 

** Kurt: Where are you? Schools about to start. **

_ Crap!  _ He looked at the time. _9:37_. He was so late for school. Why hadn’t his mom woken him up?!

Quickly pulling on his clothes, he ran downstairs, grabbing his pre-packed backpack, and jumped in his car. 

He got to school by 12 P.M., just in time for lunch. After signing into school and apologising for being late, he made his way into the cafeteria. As he sat down at the table with the rest of the New Directions, he saw Santana look at him and then gesture to Kurt. _Did you tell him?_ he assumed she was asking.

He shook his head. _Not yet_.

She shot him a concerned look but didn’t add anything else.

“Why are you so late?” Kurt asked him. 

“Slept in.”

“Oh.” Kurt didn’t look too impressed. “Blaine spoke to me.”

“Why?” 

“He wanted to know if you were gonna show up today cause you two are performing in Glee, and apparently, I know your location 24/7.”

Sebastian chuckled. “Sorry. Where is he?”

“I don’t know. He cornered me at my locker after first and I haven’t seen him since.”

“I’ll find him later.” Sebastian rested his head on the table. He wasn’t sure how much sleep he had gotten but it certainly wasn’t enough.

“That’s what you get for going to bed so late,” Santana said, running her fingers through his messy hair. “Let’s call it karma for waking me up.”

“Why’d you wake her up?” Finn asked, letting himself into the conversation.

“Uh.” Sebastian looked at Santana for help, but she gave him nothing. “No reason?”

“Okay.” Finn shrugged.

The bell rang, signalling the end of lunch. As everyone was leaving the table, Sebastian grabbed Finn’s arm. “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure,” the taller male said, “what’s up?”

“Okay, so I have to tell you something, but I also can’t tell you. But I have to tell you. But I can’t tell you. But I-“

“Calm down. Just, I don’t know, tell me what you can.”

Sebastian took a deep breath. “Do you think I have a chance of being with Kurt?” he asked quickly.

Finn was silent for a few seconds before saying, “Yes.”

“Really?”

“Look, Kurt and Puck are good together, but they have a bad history and are very different people. I don’t think they’ll work out.”

“And if they do break up?”

“I think he’ll choose you.”

“But,” Sebastian sighed, “I made it obvious that I’m into him and he chose Puck. What if he chooses someone else next?”

“Then he’s an idiot. Ever since his dad died, he’s not been making the smartest choices. He just needs time.”

“Right.”

“I mean, he stayed with Blaine for so long, and now he’s with Puck, my guess is that he’s clinging to what’s familiar. He’s never been good at handling change so maybe he doesn’t want to start fresh with someone.”

Sebastian nodded. He understood. Time. Patience. Let Kurt come to him.


	21. Sebastian Smythe: Dark Side P2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian performs his duet with Blaine, and somehow finds himself third-wheeling Puck and Kurt’s date.

_Where is he?_ Sebastian thought, staring at Kurt’s empty seat more than he probably should. It stood out like a sore thumb. He tried to focus on the French questions on the sheet of paper in front of him, but it was so hard. His mind kept asking unanswerable questions. _Is he with Puck? Is he sick? Is he going to come in? Is he skipping?_

Sebastian put his pen down harshly and rested his head on the desk. Madame Thomas knew how good he was at French, so it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t do the quiz. _Another perk of public school_ , Sebastian thought, _no one cares if you sleep in class_.

There were 10 minutes of class left when the door opened. Sebastian looked up hopefully, and his prayers were answered: Kurt was back!

“ _Sorry, Madame Thomas_ ,” Kurt said in French. “ _I was with Miss Pillsbury_.”

“Okay. Go sit down,” Madame Thomas replied, pointing to the empty seat. 

Sebastian picked up his pen again but didn’t continue answering the questions. Instead, he flipped his paper over and wrote a note on it. After Kurt had sat down, he positioned his paper so that Kurt could see it.

**Everything okay?**

He watched Kurt’s face as his friend read the note, wishing he knew what Kurt was thinking. His expression was blank. 

Kurt picked up Sebastian’s pen since there was no point in his getting his own out with so little time left. 

**Yeah**.

Kurt wrote nothing else and turned to face the front, having nothing else to do. 

Sebastian sighed. Things had seemed fine at lunch, so what was wrong with him now?

 **What did Miss P want?** he wrote, once again passing the paper to Kurt.

 **That was a lie** , Kurt replied.

Sebastian raised his eyebrow, gesturing for Kurt to elaborate. Kurt grabbed the pen and wrote: **I skipped with Puck.**

Sebastian stared at the ink on the page in shock. Kurt had _skipped_? But he never skipped, especially not with how bad his attendance was already. Sebastian didn’t write anything else and copied Kurt, staring at the front. He would have done that for the rest of class if Kurt hadn’t leaned over and written something else on the paper.

**You okay? You look kinda annoyed.**

Sebastian looked at Kurt and nodded, not bothering to write a reply. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kurt shrug and go back to looking at the teacher.

* * *

At the end of class, Sebastian screwed up his test and shoved it in the bottom of his bag. If anyone asked, he’d just blame it on Madame Thomas and say she lost it. He turned back around to see Kurt smiling at him. “Walk me to Glee?” he asked.

“Uh.” Sebastian rubbed the back of his neck. _Was this crossing a line?_ “Shouldn’t you go with Puck? Your boyfriend?” 

“I just saw him not too long ago. And besides, he’s on the other side of school, so I’m just gonna meet him there. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Come on.” _Friends walk together all the time. It’s okay_ , he thought. “So, why did you skip?”

“To make out with Puck,” Kurt replied like it was nothing. Of course, it was nothing to him. But to Sebastian, it felt like he had been stabbed a million times in the heart. 

Love hurts. 

“Did he make you?” 

“No, I suggested it, actually. It’s on my bucket list.” Kurt pulled out his phone and showed it to Sebastian.

**#76: Skip class with boyfriend**

Sebastian chuckled and continue to look through the list. “Get into Juilliard?” he read aloud, a confused look on his face. “I thought you applied to NYADA?”

“Oh crap, I better delete that.”

Sebastian continued to scroll. “Have relations on a dewy meadow with lilac with Taylor Lauter before he gets fat.”

“Oh my God, is that still on there?” Kurt burst out laughing. “Still a possibility, if Puck’s up for a threesome.”

Sebastian bit his lip. Does that mean that Kurt and Puck were sleeping together? To distract his mind from these thoughts, he kept reading. “Arrive at school in a hot air balloon?”

“Ah, when I thought that making a grand gesture at school would make me popular,” Kurt recalled.

“Are you going to do it?” 

“Too expressive. On a completely other note, you’re rich, right?”

Sebastian snickered and shoved Kurt gently in his ribs. “Golddigger.” 

“That would only be the case if we were dating,” Kurt shot back, giggling.

 _Ouch_. “True,” Sebastian said. 

“So, you have your dad’s party thing Saturday, right?”

“Yeah. They’re _so_ boring.”

“What happens at them?”

As they neared the choir room, Sebastian realised that he didn’t want to stop talking to Kurt. Instead of walking straight on, he turned the corner. 

“Where are you going?” Kurt asked. 

“To my locker,” Sebastian said. “Anyway, my dad invites all his work associates and people that I don’t even know, and I don’t even know what they do. I’m just forced to stand there for hours and introduce myself to them. It’s all an act.” He opened his locker and took out some books that he didn’t even need. 

“That sounds awful.”

“It really is. I wish I didn’t have to go, but...”

“How about I join you?”

“What?”

“Keep you company. Maybe you won’t be so bored then.”

“I-I’d love that,” Sebastian said. _Boundaries_. “But Puck- I... Won’t he mind?”

“You’re my best friend and he knows that. I’ll ask him, ‘kay?”

“Okay.” For once, Sebastian was looking forward to Saturday.

“Great! It’s a date. Do you mind if I go find Puck? I wanna talk to him before Glee. You know how Mr Shue feels about us having social lives.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll see you later.”

“Looking forward to seeing you perform!” Kurt turned on his heel and skipped down the empty hallway. Sebastian watched after him longingly.

He ended up being 10 minutes late to Glee, and when he walked inside, Blaine shot him a glare. “Nice for you to finally join us,” he sneered. 

Sebastian tensed up at the sight of Bline, but rolled his eyes and dropped himself in a seat beside Kurt. He couldn't show weakness. He was already fed up of Blaine and they hadn’t even started performing yet.

“So, uh,” Mr Shue clapped his hands together awkwardly, “are we ready to start? Sebastian, Blaine?”

“Sure,” Sebastian muttered, walking to the front of the classroom. Blaine joined him, and after saying, “Hit it,” to the piano guy, Blaine started singing the first verse.

“ _There's a place that I know, it's not pretty there and few have ever gone. If I show it to you now, will it make you run away?_ ”

Sebastian sang the second verse. “ _Or will you stay? Even if it hurts, even if I try to push you out, will you return?. And remind me who I really am. Please remind me who I really am_.”

“ _Everybody's got a dark side. Do you love me? Can you love mine? Nobody's a picture-perfect, but we're worth it. You know that we're worth it. Will you love me? Even with my dark side?_ ” they chorused. While they sang together, Sebastian couldn’t help but sneak a few glances at Kurt. At the start of the performance, he seemed intrigued, but by the chorus, he was on his phone. _Is he really texting right now?_ Sebastian thought to himself. He felt betrayed until he felt his phone buzz through the pocket of his jeans. _Is he texting_ me _?_

“ _Like a diamond from black dust, it's hard to know what can become if you give up. So don't give up on me. Please remind me who I really am_ ,” Blaine intoned.

“ _Everybody's got a dark side. Do you love me? Can you love mine? Nobody's a picture-perfect, but we're worth it. You know that we're worth it. Will you love me? Even with my dark side?_ ” they sang together.

“ _Don't run away, don't run away. Just tell me that you will stay. Promise me you will stay. Don't run away, don't run away. Just promise me you will stay. Promise me you will stay. Will you love me? Ohh..._ ” Sebastian belted out.

“ _Everybody's got a dark side. Do you love me? Can you love mine? Nobody's a picture-perfect, but we're worth it. You know that we're worth it. Will you love me? Even with my dark side? Don't run away, don't run away. Don't run away, promise you'll stay_ ,” they finished together. 

Sebastian didn’t even wait for the applause to be over before he sat back down in his seat. He noticed Blaine roll his eyes, but didn’t think too much of it. 

“Well, that was really... something,” Mr Shue tried.

Sebastian frowned. Did he do something wrong? He pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw Kurt’s text.

**Kurt: Puck’s okay with me going on Saturday!!!! Also gr8 performance :D**

Sebastian chuckled and turned to Kurt. “Thank you,” he whispered. “But was I off or something?”

“You weren’t,” Kurt replied. “Blaine was. He was really off-key. Didn’t you notice?

“No.” He was concentrating too much on Kurt and his own singing to listen to Blaine. He felt sorry for everyone’s ears. 

* * *

Puck and Kurt waited for Sebastian after Glee. He approached them curiously, “Hey.”

“Hey,” Kurt said, holding onto Puck’s arm. “What time do you want to meet Saturday?”

“Uh, the party starts at 8, so maybe 5ish?” Sebastian answered. 

“I’ll take you out for lunch at 3 then,” Puck told Kurt. Sebastian looked at them in confusion, so Puck elaborated, “Since you get him all Saturday night, we’re going to go on a date in the afternoon.”

“Do you wanna join us?” Kurt asked, and Sebastian wondered if Kurt pitied him for being single. 

“What? No.” Sebastian fake laughed. He couldn’t imagine anything worse; watching Kurt and Puck act all coupley in front of him, while he sat there alone. “I wouldn’t want to be a third wheel.”

“Dude, you wouldn’t be,” Puck insisted. “Besides, you could take Kurt back with you. I’d be better than him driving alone.” 

Kurt was looking at Sebastian, smiling, eyes hopeful. Kurt wanted him there. How could he say no to that? “Okay, okay.”

“Great!” Kurt squeaked. “I’ll text you the details, okay? Come on, Puck.” Kurt led his boyfriend out of the room, but not before throwing Sebastian a quick grin. 

* * *

_Upon hearing the knock on his door, Sebastian shut his laptop down and slid it under his bed. “Who is it?”_

_“It’s Kurt. Can I come in?”_

_“Uh, sure.”_ Why is Kurt here? 

_Kurt opened his bedroom door, and Sebastian saw immediately that he had been crying. He jumped off his bed and pulled Kurt into a hug. “What’s wrong?”_

_“Puck broke up with me,” he sobbed, resting his head on Sebastian’s chest._

_“Why?”_

_“He cheated. With Blaine!”_

_“Oh my God, Kurt. I am so sorry. He never deserved you, I-“ he was cut off by Kurt crying again._

_“Why does Blaine get everything? He-He gets a mom, and a dad, and Puck, and-and you!”_

_“I don’t want him, Kurt. He doesn’t have me. You have me." He tightened his grip on Kurt, “and you always will.”_

_“You’re so good, Sebastian.”_

_“Kurt, I have to tell you somethIng,” Sebastian said._

_“What is it?”_

_“I’m in love with you.”_

_Kurt look took aback for a minute, then he blushed, then he smiled. “You-You are?”_

_“Yes. I’m so in love with you, it’s crazy. I have been for months, and it’s been torture seeing you with Blaine and Puck and Chandler. For so long, I wished that it was me. That I could hold you and kiss you and call you mine.”_

_“Seb, I feel the same way...” Kurt whispered._

_Sebastian felt his heart flip. Did he hear that right? Kurt liked him back?! “Really?”_

_“Yes, Sebastian,” Kurt giggled. “How could I not?” Kurt leaned in, parting his lips. It took Sebastian half a second to realise what was going on, and he connected their lips._

_It was exactly how he had dreamed it._

Dream.

* * *

Sebastian shot up, still touching his lips. That had all been a dream, hadn’t it? Kurt and Puck were still together, and Sebastian was still very much in the friend-zone.

How could he face Kurt today after that dream? He couldn’t even stop blushing now, he’d be a complete mess if he ever looked Kurt in the eye.

This was going too far. Sebastian doesn't go after guys with boyfriends anymore, yet he couldn’t keep Kurt off of his mind. For God's sake, he was _in love_ with Kurt. This wasn’t okay.

Sebastian didn’t fall in love, heck, he didn’t even get crushes. But whenever he was with Kurt, he was a completely different person. 

Kurt did something to him.

Sebastian stretched his legs and swung them off the end of his bed. He picked up his phone, checking the battery charge and for any new texts. He had a few from the group chat with Nick and Jeff, one from Santana, and 6 from Kurt. Naturally, he checked the texts from Kurt first.

**Kurt: So excited for Saturday!**

**Kurt: What should I wear???**

The rest of the texts were images of Kurt dressed in different suits. He looked gorgeous in every single one, but the one that stood out to Sebastian the most was a dark burgundy suit. Red was definitely Kurt’s colour. Best of all, the tie matched the one that Sebastian was planning to wear on Saturday. 

**Sebastian: 3rd one for sure!!!! See you at school**

He swiped off of his texts with Kurt and clicked onto Santana’s contact.

**Sebastian: Need your wisdom, screwed up big time**

He sighed and scratched his head, messing up his hair more. “Time to get ready for hell,” he mumbled to himself. 

As he went into the bathroom, he studied whether or not he should shower. Checking the time, he decided that he had enough time to shower as long as he had a quick breakfast. He quickly ran downstairs to tell his mom to prepare him breakfast if she could, only to find that she had left him a note on the counter.

 **\- Gone to work early, be home by 8, Mom**

He rolled his eyes. _Typical_. He put some bread in the toaster, praying that it wouldn’t burn while he was in the shower. 

He ran back upstairs and showered in record time, and combed his hair while walking back down to the kitchen. Just as he was setting the comb down, the toast popped out of the toaster. As he was eating while getting dressed, his phone buzzed.

**Santana: By screwed up do you mean you screwed He Who Shall Not Be Named for the 2nd time?**

He chuckled and texted her back, telling her that no, he hadn’t, but it was almost as bad. She replied quickly, ordering him to meet her at his locker before class. He grabbed his keys and ran outside, knowing that if he wanted to catch her up on everything, he’d need to leave the house immediately.

* * *

With 15 minutes before class, Sebastian practically ran to his locker and was relieved to see Santana waiting there. “Took you long enough,” she snapped. “So, tell me, what have you done now?”

“I had a dream about Kurt,” Sebastian admitted, his face turning a deep red shade.

“So?” Santana didn’t seem to understand the meaning.

“Not a sex dream...” Sebastian swallowed harshly. “A _dating_ dream. Where he broke up with Puck and we got together _romantically_.”

“What’s the big deal? You can’t help your dreams and how you feel.”

“Look, it was fine when Kurt was single, but I have this thing about going after guys in relationships. I- It has to stop.”

“What’s your issue with it?”

“When I lived in France, almost every guy I hooked up with was in a relationship. I ruined so many peoples lives and broke too many hearts. I saw the damage that I was doing, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t until my mom told me that Ohio was a fresh start that I realised I could change, and I promised myself to be a better person,” Sebastian admitted. “You saw what happened to Kurt after he found out about me and Blaine. I _helped_ do that. I can’t do it again to Puck.”

“Sebastian...” Santana shuffled her feet awkwardly. “What you have with Kurt isn’t just a random hook up, it’s feelings. It’s something you can’t help.”

“I think I’m in love with him,” Sebastian didn’t meet her eye. He’s sure that his face was as red as her lipstick.

“Oh my God!”

“I know. Which is why I have to let him be happy with Puck.”

“Look,” Santana looked at him with genuine care, “if you want to get over him, there’s only one way. Distance yourself. That means no more duets, eating lunch together, spending time alone. And you’ll have to move away from him in French.”

Sebastian felt his heart hurt. No more Kurt. That would mean he’d have to cancel their date for the party. _Ugh_. _Why is love so hard?_

* * *

The rest of the day was a blur. Luckily for him, he didn’t have French, so he didn’t have to worry himself about moving seats just yet. At lunch, he ate in the library alone, just like he had on his first day at McKinley. The only difference was that Kurt didn’t come to find him. After what felt like decades, he was pulling back into his driveway. A day without Kurt was a long day.

He walked into the ‘living’ room to find both his parents sitting in silence. As much as they acted like it, they weren’t a perfect couple. Sebastian knew about his mother’s affairs and about his father’s scandals. They were about as suited for each other as he and Blaine were. 

“Mom, I thought you weren’t going to finish until 8,” Sebastian said.

“I finished early, sweetheart,” his mother replied, not even looking up from her phone.

“Okay, well, this is great, actually. There’s something I need to tell you both.”

“What is it?” Sebastian’s father asked, being as attentive as his wife to what his son was saying.

“I’m not going to the party on Saturday.”

“What?” This got their attention.

“Dad, I just can’t this time-“

Sebastian’s father cut him off. “I do everything for you, I provide you with shelter, food, clothing, everything you need! And all I ask in return is that you do me one small favour, and you can’t even do that?”

“Dad, please!” Sebastian begged. If there was one thing that got to Sebastian, it was disappointing his father.

“Enough, Sebastian. You’re going,” his mother chimed in.

“I’m not. I can’t go, I’m sorry.”

“Sebastian, after everything we’ve done for you-“

“Everything you’ve done for me?!” Sebastian yelled. “What exactly have you done?”

“We look out for you-“

Sebastian rolled his eyes at his mom. “Look out for me? To do that, you’d actually have to be around. Do you know that I used to sneak out every night? And that I used to lie to your faces? And sleep around as much as Mom does-“

“Watch it!” his father warned.

“You guys _suck_ at parenting! If you were actually here, maybe you’d know that I’m not the perfect kid that you make me out to be. You try to control my life without actually being in it.”

“Go to your room,” his mother ordered.

“Why? Because I’m actually making valid points and you have nothing to say to defend yourself-“

“Go to your room!”

Sebastian sighed dramatically and turned on his heel and stormed upstairs. _So much for being able to avoid Kurt_ , he thought. He only had one more option, and it was something that he really didn’t want to do.

He took his phone out of his pocket, thankful that his parents didn’t think to confiscate it.

“Hey.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Kurt replied through the phone. “ _Missed you at lunch today_.”

“Sorry, wasn’t feeling good,” he lied. “Um, you know Saturday-“

“ _OMG, I am so excited! I know it’s not a big deal or anything, but it’s not every day you get a chance to wear a suit._ ”

Sebastian smiled. Hearing Kurt happy made him happy. “I’m sorry, but I could’ve sworn that a few weeks ago you wore a suit to school.”

“ _That was a casual suit! This is, like, so fancy. Wait until you see all the buttons! And the cufflinks!_ ”

“Can hardly wait.” How could he let Kurt down when he was this excited for it? He changed his mind and decided not to tell Kurt not to come. Instead, the party would be his goodbye, and after that night, he would go Kurt-free. “Can you do me a favour? I’ve had a rough day.”

“ _Of course. What’s up?_ ”

“I-I’d rather not talk about it."

Sebastian didn’t hear anything for a minute, and he wondered if he’d lost the connection or something, but then he heard Kurt’s sweet voice. " _That's okay. Just know that if you need to talk, I'm here. I'll always listen to you, alright? You're my best friend.i"_

“You’re always there for me.”

“ _I don’t know where I’d be without you_ ,” Kurt replied. “ _You feeling better?_ ”

“Yeah. Thank you. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“ _Okay! Bye!_ ”

* * *

Thursday and Friday’s were hard days for Sebastian, purely because of Kurt. He spent the next two days spending lunch in the library, and he sat at the front of the class in French. He purposely got to class later than Kurt so he wouldn’t be able to ask any questions. It hurt him to see the pained and confused look on Kurt’s face, but he knew it would be worth it in the long run. If he could keep Kurt and Puck together and not ruin another relationship, and more importantly, if he could keep Kurt happy, it would be worth it. 

He almost ran to Glee in an attempt to avoid Kurt. He sat down beside Santana, and when Kurt walked in, he saw that the other boy was probably going to talk to him but then Puck walked in. Kurt turned around and kissed his boyfriend, but there was still a slight sadness to his face. Sebastian wished that he knew what Kurt was thinking.

“You okay?” Santana asked, noticing how Sebastian was staring at Kurt.

“I can’t keep avoiding him. It’s hurting us both.”

“Look, you’re seeing him tomorrow, right? Explain yourself there.”

It was at that second that Sebastian remembered with absolute horror that he was supposed to be third-wheeling with Puck and Kurt tomorrow. He mentally threw himself off a cliff. “Explain myself how?” 

“I don’t know,” Santana muttered. “Vaguely? It’s your life, handle your own issues.”

“Thanks,” Sebastian replied sarcastically.

* * *

That night, when Sebastian got home, he decided to face the music. Since he was still supposed to be meeting with Kurt and Puck for lunch tomorrow, and Kurt still hadn’t given him the details, he decided to use it as an excuse to call Kurt. “Hey, K-“

“ _I think you have the wrong number_ ,” Kurt snapped. Sebastian didn’t blame him.

“I-I don’t. I know that I’ve been a little... distant, lately, but-“

“ _Distant?!_ ” Kurt let out an unfriendly laugh. “ _You’ve been acting like I have the plague._ ”

“I’m sorry.”

“ _What do you want, Sebastian?_ ”

“What time are we meeting for lunch tomorrow? And also, where are we meeting?”

“ _Oh, are we still doing that? Aren’t you scared you’ll accidentally look me in the eyes and turn to stone?_ ”

“I deserved that.”

“ _Breadstix. 3:30._ ”

“Okay. I’ll explain everything, I promise.” Kurt hung up, but Sebastian knew that he heard what he said.

* * *

Sebastian stood outside of Breadstix, looking inside to see if he could spot Kurt and Puck. He made sure to arrive 10 minutes late so he wouldn’t have to spend any time alone with either of them. Finally, he saw a familiar mohawk seated opposite a wavy set of hair. _Thank God_.

Approaching the table, he heard Kurt say, “I don’t think he’s coming. He’s been really-“

“Hey!” Sebastian said loudly. He didn’t want to hear the end of the sentence. “Sorry, I’m late.”

“T- That’s okay,” Kurt stuttered. He looked almost shocked to see Sebastian.

Sebastian nodded politely to Puck. He didn’t know what to do, since Puck and Kurt were sat opposite each other, he only really had the options to sit beside Kurt, or sit face to face with Kurt. In the end, he grabbed a chair from behind and set it between the couple. “So, what are we talking about?”

“Uh, mine and Kurt’s duet,” Puck answered, sensing the tone. Sebastian didn’t doubt for a second that Kurt had made Puck aware of his strange behaviour.

At that comment, the couple quickly started talking about what song they chose, how they had split it up, how well their voices harmonised. They tried their best to include Sebastian in their conversations, but Sebastian didn’t reciprocate their efforts. By the end of the date, Sebastian felt confident that the date had gone as badly as he had predicted.

* * *

The trio walked out to the parking lot. Sebastian leaned against his own car waiting for Kurt to say goodbye to Puck. He was too caught up in his thinking to notice that Kurt was back, staring at him expectantly. 

“I think I was promised an explanation,” he said, folding his arms.

Sebastian broke down and threw his arms around Kurt, pulling him into a tight hug. Kurt was shocked for a second, but then he unfolded his arms and hugged Sebastian back.

“I’m so sorry,” Sebastian whispered.

“It’s okay. I’m not really _mad_ , just confused. Did I do something?”

“No, no, not at all,” Sebastian reassured. “It’s all me. I’ve been going through something, and I thought it would be best to shield you from it. I was trying to protect you, but I was going at it the wrong way.”

“Seb, you idiot,” Kurt chucked. “You’re my best friend, if you’re going through something, I want to be there alongside you, helping you. I don’t need you to protect me.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologising. Come on,” Kurt opened the passenger side door and jumped in the car. “I missed you, you know,” Kurt added. “Don’t ever start avoiding me out of the blue again.”

“I won’t,” Sebastian promised. He knew one thing, he could never get Kurt Hummel out of his life. All that he could hope was that nothing could ruin their friendship.

* * *

After arriving at Sebastian’s house, the two decided to get dressed for the party as Kurt insisted that it would take at least 2 hours for him to accessorise to a standard. 

After bickering for a few minutes, Kurt had won the argument as to who would get changed in the bathroom, leaving Sebastian alone in his bedroom.

He ripped off his casual wear, shivering slightly at only being in his boxers. He carefully took the black pants off the hanger and pulled them on. They were a little tight, but he figured he would wear into them by the time the party would start. The same went for the shirt, which after 5 seconds of having it tucked in, was quickly untucked. The next part was the tie- the one that matched Kurt’s. He wrapped it around his neck and loosely knotted it. He shrugged the blazer on, opting to leave it unfastened. He was still mad at his parents, so it would be fun to rile up his dad a little.

He heard a knock from the outside, followed by a, “Can I come in?”

Kurt.

“Sure,” Sebastian said, smoothing down the blazer once more. He turned around to face Kurt, and his breath was taken away. Kurt looked... incredible.

“Sebastian Smythe,” Kurt blushed, “you really are a sight for sore eyes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser for the next chapter:
> 
> [The urge to kiss him was so strong, he just didn’t know why. I can’t do this, he thought. Not to Puck. ]


	22. Just The Heat Of The Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian and Kurt attend his father’s party, each of them coming to realisations.

“Sebastian Smythe,” Kurt blushed, “you really are a sight for sore eyes.” Sebastian really did look amazing. As Kurt looked Sebastian up and down again, he noticed something. He grinned and grabbed Sebastian’s tie, pulling his face closer to his own. “Samesies!” He giggled.

“Ah, I was wondering when you’d realise.” Sebastian chuckled. “You look gorgeous, by the way.”

Kurt smiled and pushed Sebastian away gently, releasing his tie. “I know.”

“So, what do you wanna do? We have a few hours to kill until it starts.” 

“Hmm, I don’t know. Wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure,” Sebastian jumped back on his bed. “Your choice.”

“Have you seen _Clueless_?” 

“Nope.”

“Oh my God!” Kurt joined Sebastian on his bed. “How haven’t you- it’s so iconic! You have a terrible taste in movies.”

“I do not.” Sebastian sniggered, pushing Kurt gently. 

“Do!” Kurt repeated, nudging Sebastian in his ribs. Sebastian tried to push Kurt again, but Kurt grabbed his hands. Sebastian overpowered him and jumped on top of Kurt. He got his hands free and started to tickle Kurt. “Stop! Stop!” Kurt yelled between laughter. 

“Say that I have a good taste in movies!”

“This is so... stupid!” 

“Say it.” Sebastian tickled him harder, laughing himself.

“Fine! You have... a good... taste in... movies!”

“Ha!” Sebastian took his hands back and gasped when Kurt pushed him back. He fell backwards onto his back. Kurt smirked and climbed on top of Sebastian. 

“Look who has the upper hand now,” Kurt taunted.

Sebastian winked and said, “You’re too sweet to do anything.”

Kurt didn’t reply. He couldn’t stop staring at Sebastian- or, more specifically, Sebastian’s lips. He parted his own and leaned down, so their noses were touching but their lips were slightly apart. 

“Kurt...” Sebastian whispered. 

“I know,” Kurt said. He knew what Sebastian was thinking. _I have a boyfriend_. “Just...” He moved closer until their lips were practically together. The urge to kiss him was so strong, he just didn’t know why. _I can’t do this_ , he thought. _Not to Puck_. 

Sebastian, however, had other intentions. He moved his head up so their lips connected, but only for a brief second. Kurt quickly pulled away, a horrified look on his face.

“What are you doing?” Kurt demanded, shuffling away from Sebastian.

“I-I don’t know. You were the one who-“

“I know. An- And I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Sebastian gave him a small smile. While he thought Kurt was looking away, he touched his lips again. “But why did you...?”

“It- It was just the heat of the moment. We were close to each other and laughing. I would never cheat on Puck.”

“Right.” Sebastian nodded.

“Besides, we don’t feel that way about each other, right?”

“Right,” Sebastian repeated. “It was just the heat of the moment. Are you going to tell Puck?”

“Uh, there’s no reason to, is there? We don’t like each other, it was an accident, and it was barely a kiss anyway. It was like a platonic kiss.”

“Yeah. Platonic kiss.”

“So, wanna watch _Clueless_?” 

“Absolutely.”

* * *

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sebastian asked. He was tucking in his shirt while Kurt straightened his tie. His dad had called them 10 minutes ago to tell them that it was almost time for the party to start, so they didn’t want to be late. “I mean, you can always hang out in my room until it’s over.” 

“Nope. I came here to support you, so that’s what I’m going to do. What kind of best friend would I be if I let you down like that?” Kurt replied, stepping away from Sebastian to check his tie. 

“What kind of best friend would I be if I let you die of boredom?” 

“If I have you with me, I’ll be okay.” Kurt held his arm out. “Shall we?”

“We shall.” Sebastian linked arms with him and led him downstairs.

Sebastian led Kurt through to a part of the house he didn’t recognise. They walked down a long hallway, past about half a dozen doors, until they reached huge double doors at the end of the hall. Sebastian pushed the doors open, and Kurt mentally gasped.

Inside, was a huge hall filled with at least 500 people that Kurt didn’t recognise in the slightest. He felt his anxiety rise at the sight of the strangers and held onto Sebastian tighter.

“You okay?” Sebastian whispered.

“Yeah. Can we just go somewhere quieter?” Kurt asked, resisting the urge to cover over his ears.

“Of course. My parents are over there,” Sebastian said, using his free hand to point to a familiar woman and a man Kurt didn’t recognise. The woman was Sebastian’s mother, so Kurt assumed the man was his father. 

Kurt nodded and followed Sebastian over to them. 

“Hey,” Sebastian said to them, at Kurt noticed his friend tense a little when they looked at him.

“Sebastian, who’s this?” his father asked, looking Kurt up and down. “Boyfriend?”

“This is his friend I was telling you about,” his mom answered.

“Dad, this is Kurt,” Sebastian said, giving Kurt’s hand a squeeze.

“Hi,” Kurt said quietly, giving a small wave to the Smythe’s. 

Sebastian’s father gave a small nod, clearly not interested in Kurt. Sebastian’s mother, however, smiled at him. “Well, it’s nice to see you again, Kurt. Make sure you both talk to your father’s colleagues, okay? That’s why you’re here.”

Sebastian nodded and took Kurt away, muttering a small “sorry” to Kurt when they were out of his parent’s earshot. 

“It’s fine. They weren’t... unpleasant.” Kurt chose his words carefully.

Sebastian laughed. “Honestly, for them, that was pleasant.”

“Your mom seemed really nice when we first met.” Kurt recalled the hug she wrapped him in.

“Yeah, she can change moods quickly. Right now, she’s probably on edge. She hates coming to these things almost as much as I do.”

“Ah.” Kurt couldn’t remember his mom being anything but sweet and caring.

“Do you want a drink?” Sebastian asked, pointing to a table of beverages.

“Sure,” Kurt nodded. Sebastian released himself and went over to the table. While he was gone, Kurt took his phone out of his pocket to check through his messages. They had only been there for 2 minutes, but it had felt like much longer. He knew it was going to be a long night.

Sebastian returned a few minutes later, carrying 2 glasses of coke. “Here,” he said, passing Kurt one of the glasses. 

“Thanks,” Kurt looked around the room and recognised someone that sent a chill down his spine. Blaine’s father. “Seb.”

“Yeah?”

“I- Is that Blaine’s dad?” he asked, pointing to the familiar older man. 

Sebastian cursed under his breath. “I forgot he was going to be here. Blaine told me. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kurt took a deep breath. _It’s just his dad. Not Blaine, he reminded himself._

“I know this is probably really boring...” Sebastian looked at him and winked. “So, I have something we can do.”

“What is it?”

“Come with me.” Sebastian put their drinks on a nearby table then took Kurt’s hand. 

“Where are you guys going?” a voice asked from behind Kurt.

That voice. That _voice_. Why the hell was Blaine here? Kurt looked at Sebastian for answers. “Why didn’t you tell me he was here?” he hissed.

“I didn’t know!” Sebastian shot back. He turned around to look at Blaine. “Why are you here?”

“You told me to come,” Blaine replied. Kurt gasped and snatched his hand back from Sebastian.

“No, no, I didn’t. Where the hell did you get that idea?” Sebastian demanded, giving an apologetic look to Kurt.

Kurt had to admit, he didn’t believe what Blaine was saying. Sebastian wasn’t like that, he wouldn’t invite Blaine to an event that he knew Kurt was also attending. Sebastian had been his biggest supporter when leaving Blaine, so he wouldn’t let Kurt down now. 

But at the same time, a small voice in the back of Kurt’s head told him not to trust Sebastian. After all, hadn’t everyone in his life either betrayed him, left him at some point, or both. 

“You told me your father was throwing it and when it was,” Blaine said. “That’s practically an invite!”

Kurt rolled his eyes. He should’ve known Blaine would pull a stunt like this. “Can we go?” he pleaded Sebastian, taking his hand again.

“Not yet,” Blaine snapped. “I need to talk to Sebastian alone.” The way he looked at Sebastian suggested that he knew something Kurt didn’t.

Sebastian didn't want to be alone with Blaine. He felt like throwing up just being this close to him. But if he didn't go, Kurt would get suspicious. “I’ll be right back, okay?” Sebastian said, slipping his hand away from Kurt’s.

“Okay.”

* * *

Sebastian locked the door to the supply room and turned around to see Blaine smirking. 

“Getting right to it, aren’t you?” he said smugly.

“What?” Sebastian stared at him in confusion.

“Locking the door.”

“Uh, it’s for privacy.”

Blaine chuckled. “I know.”

“Okay, what do you think is going on here?” Sebastian crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. 

“Sex.”

It was Sebastian’s turn to laugh. “God, you have no shame. You said you wanted to talk, so _talk_.”

“Less talking, more kissing,” Blaine lunged himself at Sebastian and clashed their lips together. 

Sebastian froze. _No, not again_. “Stop!”

“You don’t want this?” Blaine whined, pulling away.

“No! I don’t want _you_ , or any of _this_! Just leave me and Kurt alone, please.”

“I don’t understand. We’re great together.”

“No, we’re not. We’re not meant to be, Blaine. And until you sort yourself out, you shouldn’t be with anyone.”

Blaine looked almost hurt for a second, but his expression quickly changed. “I was meant to be with Kurt,” he snarled, roughy shoving Sebastian away. “But _you_ ruined it!”

“I didn’t ruin anything!”

Blaine pushed himself up against Sebastian again, backing the other male up against the door. Sebastian thought that Blaine was going to punch him, but instead, he kissed Sebastian roughly. “Do it, Sebastian. Date me. You’ll make Kurt jealous, and he’ll be all yours before you know it.”

 _What’s wrong with him?_ Sebastian thought. “No, I’m not doing anything with you ever again. If I’m going to be with Kurt, I’m going to get him the right way. Not by sleeping with you, or by,” he took a deep breath, “kissing him when he’s with someone else.” He still couldn’t believe he had done that. He had almost made Kurt a cheater. 

“You’re making a mistake,” Blaine drawled, once again trying to suck on Sebastian’s neck.

“No,” Sebastian pushed Blaine off of himself for good, “being with you would be a mistake.” With that, he unlocked the door and marched out.

* * *

Kurt felt like everyone was staring at him. He knew he didn’t fit in there, with all these snobby, rich business people. He wished that Sebastian would hurry up and-

“Oh,” Kurt said to himself, “he’s back.” 

Sebastian was walking briskly back to him, and Kurt noticed that Sebastian’s cheeks were pink and his bottom lip was swollen. _Oh my God_ , Kurt thought, _did Sebastian and Blaine..._

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Kurt replied, trying not to let his inner-freaking out show on the outside. “W- What did he want?”

“To have sex,” Sebastian told him honestly.

“Oh,” Kurt felt his heart drop. _Of course. How could anyone resist Blaine?_ “I’m gonna go.”

“Wait,” Sebastian gently grabbed his arm, “I didn’t. I wouldn’t do that. You know I wouldn’t.”

“But I don’t know that, Sebastian.” Kurt turned back to him, tears in his eyes. “Every single person that I’ve ever trusted has let me down. And honestly, I’m just waiting for you to do the same.”

Sebastian felt his cheeks burn. “I never want to hurt you, nor will I ever. You have to put your faith in people.”

“Why should I put my faith in people when I’m the only person who comes out hurt?!”

“Come with me, please,” Sebastian begged. 

Kurt rolled his eyes but reluctantly followed Sebastian. As they entered another hallway, he wondered how many rooms this house actually had. “How big is your house?” he muttered.

Sebastian laughed. “There’s two parts to it, really. The front part of the house is your typical home: living room, kitchen, bathrooms, bedrooms, etc. Then the back of the house is basically where all _this_ happens. I don’t even know where it all is myself or how to describe it. Just useless rooms filled with crap, just to flaunt how much money we have to make everyone below my father feel bad about themselves.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“It sucks. I only really come to this part of the house for two reasons.”

“Being?”

“Galas like this.”

“And?”

Sebastian smiled at him. “I’m about to show you.” He pushed open a door to reveal a huge spiral staircase. “You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”

“No?” Kurt sounded like he was trying to convince himself. 

“Okay.” Sebastian put his arm around Kurt’s waist and held him tight. “Grab the handrail, and we’ll walk up slowly. Don’t look down.”

Kurt nodded and gripped onto the handrail so tightly his knuckles turned white. The more stairs they walked up, the more tempted Kurt was to look down. In the end, Kurt gave in and looked over the edge. It was a long, long, long way down. “How far up are we?” he dared to ask.

“About 3 floors.”

 _Huh_. It seemed a lot more than that. Maybe his fear was making it seem a lot higher up than it really was? He took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Do you want to stop? This was probably a bad idea.”

“No, it’s okay. Let’s just get to the top. How much further?”

“Just a bit further.”

Kurt nodded to himself. He could do this. He wasn’t alone. There was no way he could fall. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He’ll be-

“Here.” Sebastian pushed open a door at the top of the staircase. At first, it seemed like it was just any old room, but then Kurt saw how the room lit up. One of the walls was pure glass, letting the moonlight fill the room. 

“Woah,” Kurt whispered, pressing the palm of his hand against the glass. He watched in the reflection as Sebastian came up behind him and put his hand on Kurt’s shoulder. 

“Look, I know that I can’t force you to trust me, but I can promise you that I’ll never intentionally hurt you. You’re my best friend, Kurt, and I wouldn’t want to do anything that could ruin that. I know that a lot of people have let you down, and I wasn’t around for that. But I’m not Blaine, or Puck, or anyone else. I’m Sebastian. And you don’t have to completely trust me until you’re ready to, but I need you to believe me on this, I promise that I didn’t do anything with Blaine tonight, nor will I ever again.”

Kurt didn’t reply. ' _I’m not Blaine, Puck, or anyone else_.' The fact that Sebastian included Puck’s name stood out to him the most. Puck technically was Kurt’s ex-bully, but over the past year or so he had proven himself to be a good friend, and more importantly, a good person. He had changed for the better.

 _Relationships are about trust_. Did he trust Puck? He made a mental note to think over that later. Right now, he had to think about the tall brunet who was stood behind him. Every time that Kurt had doubted him, Sebastian had come out on top, had always come through for Kurt, and had always stood by him.

He thought back to when he and Sebastian first met. Sebastian and Blaine were talking about him, about him not wanting to be sexual. Sure, that hurt. But Sebastian had quickly acted friendly towards Kurt, making sure there weren’t any issues between the two of them. He had been honest from the start. Wait-

Kurt turned around, making Sebastian jump a little. “When we first met, you lied to me.”

“What?” 

“On the first day we met, I asked if anything had happened between you and Blaine. You said, and I quote, ' _Nope. He’s just a friend_.' You lied.”

“I...” Sebastian looked down in shame. “You’re right, I did. And I’m sorry. I know it’s not really an excuse, but I didn’t know you and I asked Blaine what he wanted me to say because I didn’t want to upset you. If I had known that he had cheated with me, I would’ve told you in a heartbeat. I’m sorry.”

Kurt was taken aback. Sebastian had told him the truth, admitted that he was wrong, and had apologised. He had lied, but with good intentions. Sebastian had never been anything but a good friend to Kurt. 

Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian and rested his head in the crook of his neck. “I trust you,” he murmured.

“And I, you.”

“That was cringy.”

“Shut up, you’re cringy,” Sebastian shot back.

Kurt chuckled and lifted his head up. _Damn_ , he thought, _Sebastian really does look good from every angle_. Once again, for reasons he would never be able to explain, he was overwhelmed with the desire to kiss Sebastian. But he knew he couldn’t. He was with Puck. 

How could he be with Puck when he felt this strongly about being with Sebastian? He had the urge to kiss Puck too, all the time, but it was nothing like _this_. Everything that he had felt for Blaine, Finn, Sam, Puck, Chandler, David... it was never anything like _this_. _This_ was something new. 

Things with Puck were fine. Puck treated him well, always checked in on him, and was a great kisser. But Kurt wasn’t feeling that _spark_. Once again, Kurt made a mental note to reevaluate his relationship with Puck. 

“Kurt,” Sebastian breathed.

“Come on,” Kurt pulled himself away, “your dad is going to get mad at us if we don’t head back now.”

* * *

Sebastian hung back at the end of the hallway. They were so close to going back to being normal, acting as if nothing had happened. But he didn’t want to act as nothing had happened. He had seen the way that Kurt had looked at him, he was almost certain that Kurt felt the same. 

Kurt walked a few steps in front until he noticed Sebastian falling behind. “You coming?” he asked, smiling.

“Just give me a minute, okay? I’ll catch up,” Sebastian replied. He watched longingly as Kurt walked back into the hall, most likely only for Blaine to ambush him again. 

He wasn’t imagining things, was he? Kurt felt the same. So, why was he with Puck?

Sebastian sighed. So many unanswered questions. It seemed that was all life was; unanswered question after unanswered question. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teaser for the next chapter:
> 
> [“Oh.” Kurt laughed. “Thank God. I thought you said ‘I love you’.”]


	23. To Know Him, Is To Love Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Puck move forward in their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update today since this is a short chapter :)
> 
> I know nothing about football, especially American football, and especially especially American high school football. I’m just winging it.  
> Italics=flashbacks in this chapter.  
> And the make out scene is why I don’t write smut it’s so awkward I can’t-

With the holidays approaching, Kurt found himself spending more and more time with Puck. Their classes were starting to settle down and the teachers were relaxing on homework, giving the couple a lot of spare time. On one particular Wednesday afternoon, however, Puck had an idea.

His lips were roughly pushing themselves against Kurt’s as he pushed his boyfriend against one of the poles. They had been making out under the bleachers for almost 10 minutes, and he couldn’t get a single thought off his mind. He stopped kissing Kurt, making the other male whine.

“Puck, what’s up?”

“Uh, I have something to ask- ask you,” he stuttered. Him talking wasn’t stopping Kurt from leaving a trail of kisses on his neck.

“Yeah?” 

“W- What are you gonna do next year?”

“Oh.” Kurt stopped kissing Puck and looked him in the eye instead, “I’m not sure. I’m gonna run for senior class president and see how that goes. I have to do my NYADA audition. Maybe join another club? Oh, Nationals, too.”

“Cool,” Puck replied. “Wanna know what I wanna do?”

“What?”

Puck put his lips close to Kurt’s ear. “You.”

Kurt felt his cheeks burn. “Oh.”

“Are you okay with that?” Puck asked. “We’ve been dating for over a month now, and I was thinking maybe it’s time.”

“I’m okay with it.”

“You sure? I heard what happened with Blaine, and I don’t want you to feel pressured in the slightest.”

Kurt cupped Puck’s cheek and kissed his on the lips. “With you, it’s different. I was always afraid of being with Blaine, but I don’t feel that way with you. I’m ready, Puck.”

Puck grinned. “Great!”

“But...”

“But?” Puck’s smile faltered a little, but he tried not to look too disappointed.

“I don’t want to wait until next year. Is this Saturday okay?”

“Y- Yeah, yeah.” Puck nodded quickly. “Though, I should tell you something.”

“Hm?”

“I’ve never done it with a guy before.”

Kurt gave him a small smile. “Me either. We can figure it out together, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Puck stretched his arms and yawned. “Anyway, I should be heading home. Want a ride?”

“If you don’t mind,” Kurt replied, holding Puck’s hand and swinging it back and forth as they walked to his car.

“Of course not.” Puck was going to open the passenger door for Kurt, but the other male stopped him.

“Not so fast,” Kurt said, softly swatting Puck’s hand away. “I’m my own man, I can do it myself.”

“Okay.” Puck chuckled. “Excuse me for trying to treat my boyfriend like the king he deserves to be treated as.” Pucks tone told Kurt that he was being playful, so when Puck climbed into the driver's seat, he gave him a passionate kiss. 

Kurt kissed him deeper and before he was aware of what he was doing, he climbed into Puck’s lap, still kissing him. Puck reached under his seat and pulled the lever, making the seat recline back. 

Kurt grabbed Puck’s shirt and yanked it over his head, then proceeded to let his hands roam around Puck’s chest. “Puck...” he breathed, licking his lips.

“Kurt...”

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the window, shocking the two of them out of their trance.

“Hey!” Sue Sylvester snapped, glaring at the two of them. “Get the hell out of here! School finished over an hour ago!”

“S- Sorry,” Kurt stuttered, blushing deeper than he ever had before. Puck just laughed. He quickly shoved Puck’s shirt back into his boyfriend’s hands as he almost jumped back into his seat. “Drive!” he told Puck, his voice high and desperate. 

“Okay, okay.” Puck was still laughing.

* * *

Puck pulled into the empty space in front of Kurt’s house. As soon as he turned the engine off, Finn came running up to the car. Kurt wound his window down so they could hear what Finn was saying.

“Dude! You’re not gonna believe this!” Finn exclaimed, looking past Kurt and over at Puck.

“What?!”

Kurt ignored what the two of them were talking about and instead listened to the music that was still conveniently playing. It wasn’t until Puck tapped him on the shoulder that he paid attention to them.

“Babe, you can do it, right?” Puck asked, looking at Kurt hopefully. 

“Do what?”

“Fill in as the kicker.”

“What are you talking about?” Kurt wrinkled his nose in confusion.

“Our current one broke his leg,” Finn told him, “so we need you to fill in for a while. Please.”

Kurt sighed. Last time he did it, he was so bored. “Isn’t there anyone else?”

“No one as good as you.” Puck took his hand. “Please, we’ll owe you big time!”

“And you wanted more extra-curricular’s,” Finn pointed out.

“But it’s so _boring_.”

“Please!” Finn begged.

“Fine.” Kurt ran his fingers through his hair. “But you seriously owe me!”

“Thank you.” Puck threw his arms around Kurt and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll call you later.”

“Okay.” Kurt smiled at him then opened his car door. “Bye.”

“Later.” Puck started the engine again and drove off, leaving the two brothers standing alone on the sidewalk.

“Are you guys okay?” Finn asked, turning to face Kurt.

“Yeah, why?” 

“You seemed kind of off with him.”

Kurt frowned and shuffled his feet. “Did I?”

Finn nodded. “You’re not breaking up with him, are you?”

“I was considering it,” Kurt admitted. “But I changed my mind.”

“Why?”

“I just did,” Kurt replied and started to walk to the front door. Finn shrugged and followed him inside the house.

“He’s not doing anything bad to you, is he?” Finn asked. “He’s not making you stay with him as Blaine did.”

Kurt paused and took a deep breath. _Don’t think about Blaine_. “He’s not, I promise,” Kurt patted Finn’s arm. “Thanks for looking out for me, though.”

“Anytime.”

* * *

Kurt flopped back on his bed, scrolling through his phone. He had an unread text from Sebastian, asking Kurt about the French homework they had. Between the conversation with Finn, and now the text from Sebastian, Kurt found his mind wandering back to the night of the party. More importantly, about what he had realised later that night.

* * *

_Kurt laid awake that night, unable to sleep. He had way too much to think about. He mentally organised his thoughts, deciding to reflect on the easiest of his troubles first. The kiss with Sebastian._

_In his defence, Sebastian had kissed him. But Kurt was 100% aware of the fact that he had wanted to kiss Sebastian too, and in some way, he may have initiated it. But_ why _had he done that? Kurt had first-hand experience of how much it hurt, how damaging it was to be cheated on, and he would never do that to Puck._

_Sebastian was definitely good looking, but Kurt wasn’t attracted to him like that. Not in the way he was to Puck, or how he used to be to Blaine. Sebastian was his best friend, and Kurt simply didn’t see him that way._

_So, Kurt decided he was right beforehand. It was just the heat of the moment. They were both having a good time and lost themselves for a little while. There were no feelings involved whatsoever._

_The next part that Kurt thought about was the question that hadn’t left his mind. Did he trust Puck?_

_Puck may have bullied Kurt in his past, but it was clear that he’s changed. Puck was kinder, more caring, and he defended Kurt when it came to the Karofsky situation last year. He obviously had Kurt’s back._

_At first, to Kurt, that seemed like a good enough reason to stay with Puck. He trusted him and enjoyed being with him. But then Kurt realised, he didn’t trust Puck the most, nor did he enjoy being with Puck the most. It was always Sebastian who came to mind when Kurt thought about those aspects._

_He sighed and pulled a pillow over his face._ Why is everything so hard? _he thought. How could he be with Puck when he felt this way about S-. No. Kurt did_ not _have feelings for Sebastian. He couldn’t. Sebastian was the last perfect thing he had in his life, and he couldn’t let love ruin that._

_How could he be with Puck? Their relationship was... could Kurt even call it a relationship? It felt more like friends with benefits. They never did any couple-y things, all they did was make out and occasionally talk and go to Breadstix._

_When Kurt imagined a future, he couldn’t see Puck in it. Or at least, a future where he was_ with _Puck. He couldn’t picture marrying Puck, or growing old with him. Their relationship was based mostly on lust, and Kurt couldn’t see it lasting long term._

_Which meant one thing. Either he had to break up with Puck, or he had to hire a hitman to take care of Puck for him. And the thought of doing either of those things made Kurt’s heart hurt._

* * *

Despite having come to the conclusion, Kurt, in the end, had failed to go through with his breakup. He wasn’t too shocked at himself when he did back out, since it did take him a few attempts to leave Blaine. He remembered what had happened when he did try to leave Puck.

* * *

_Those eyes. That smile. Those... abs. Kurt stared at his boyfriend, who looked so happy to see him. Puck pulled Kurt into a hug then kissed him roughly. Kurt allowed himself to be pushed against the door, kissing Puck back. He got lost in the moment until he remembered his reason for being there._

_“Puck, stop.”_

_“Am I hurting you?” Puck asked, immediately backing away._

_“No, it’s just...”_

_Puck raised his eyebrow at Kurt and tilted his head slightly. He still had a small smile on his face. “Yeah? Is something wrong?”_

_Puck was shirtless, and it was very distracting. Maybe if Puck was wearing a shirt, this would be easier._

_“I...”_ I want to break up _. All Kurt had to do was say those words, and it would be over._

 _No, it wouldn’t be over, Puck would want to know why. And Kurt would have to tell him._ Tell him what? _Kurt thought. He didn’t have an exact reason to break up with Puck. His main reason was his confusion with Sebastian, but based on how he felt when he learned that he wasn’t good enough for Blaine, Kurt knew he didn’t want to make Puck feel that way._

_There was also Puck’s past, but Kurt was aware that if he broke up with him because of Puck’s old bullying, he would make Puck feel guilty._

There’s no way to do it _, Kurt thought. Once again, Puck’s bare chest caught his eye._ This probably isn’t a good idea, but I’m going to do it anyway _._

_“‘You’ what?” Puck asked following Kurt’s silence._

_Kurt grabbed Puck’s face and crashed their lips together. “Nothing.”_

* * *

Now that Kurt thought about it, he was really just making excuses. _Huh_ , he thought, _guess I owe Mercedes an apology_.

* * *

_Kurt left Puck’s place feeling confused. He had gone there with the intention to break up with Puck but had left with a mark on his neck that said otherwise. He touched the hickey again, just another reminder of what his relationship with Puck really was._

_Feeling troubled, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Mercedes._

_“Hey, girl!”_

_“_ Hey. What’s up? _” Mercedes replied, seeing through Kurt’s fake happy voice._

_“I suck at dumping people.”_

_“_ You’re breaking up with Puck? Why? _”_

_“There’s no... feelings between us. It’s just a ton of making out and no connecting.”_

_“_ Oh _,” Mercedes said. She was quiet for a while, most likely thinking. “_ So, why can’t you leave him? _”_

_“I tried, but I couldn’t get the words out. I knew that he’d ask why, and I didn’t want to hurt him.”_

_“_ Hun, you can’t be scared of hurting people. You can’t protect everyone and make yourself happy at the same time. If you don’t want to be with Puck, then that’s okay. Just be honest. _”_

_“What if he cries?”_

_“_ Puck isn’t the crying type. He’ll be fine _.”_

_“But-“_

_“_ Stop making excuses. You’re in the relationship as much as he is, you get a say in it as much as he does. You can do this, Kurt _.”_

_Kurt sighed. “I’m not making excuses; I’m just trying to do this right.”_

_“_ You’re doing what you always do. You’ll think about all the ‘what if’s’ until you talk yourself out of it _.”_

_“I-I’m not. I just don’t want this to be a Blaine situation.”_

_“_ Look, Kurt. I love you, but you need to stand up for yourself and do what you want for a change. You need to stop making excuses and do what’s best for you _.”_

* * *

Mercedes was right. Kurt had to do this. He just wasn’t sure when.

* * *

Friday dragged on to a point that Kurt was considering skipping Glee to get home faster, but he had a to perform his solo and Mr Shue would probably take away his part in the duet for Regionals if he didn’t do it. 

As usual, he walked to the choir room with Sebastian, only this time it was in silence with the two of them exchanging occasional glances, instead of the normal small talk they made. 

Sebastian opened the door for Kurt, who quietly thanked him. Neither of them was sure where the sudden awkwardness came from.

After Mr Shue made a long, tedious introduction about nothing relevant to the lesson at all, he asked who wanted to perform first. Both Kurt and Sebastian raised their hands, leading to them both laughing and offering for the other to go.

“Sebastian, you go,” Mr Shue said, sighing. He didn’t get paid enough for this.

“Uh, okay,” Sebastian brushed his knees for no reason and walked to the front of the class. He sang about his confused feelings for Kurt; how he wished they could be together but he wouldn’t get in the way of Kurt and Puck.

After he finished the song, he nodded his head a little as everyone clapped for him and turned his gaze to Kurt. “It’s all yours.”

Kurt laughed a little. “Thanks for that opening act, Seb.”

Sebastian put on an expression of mock hurt and waved Kurt off.

“Okay,” Kurt said, clapping his hands together as he faced the other ND’s. Brad started playing the piano and Kurt started singing. At first, he believed that he was singing about Puck, but as the song went on, he realised how the lyrics applied more to Sebastian than his boyfriend.

But that couldn’t be right because he liked _Puck_ , not Sebastian, right?

* * *

At long last, it was Saturday, and Kurt was opening the door to reveal his boyfriend grinning at him. 

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Puck replied. “So, should we go upstairs?”

 _Oh, it’s happening right away_ , Kurt thought. “Uh, sure,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Do you want a drink or something?”

“I’m good.”

Kurt nodded. _Okay, you can do this. It’s just sex_. He led Puck upstairs to his bedroom, slightly shocked at how nonchalant Puck was about taking off his shirt. Kurt instinctively threw his arms around his boyfriend and kissed him. 

Puck tenderly picked Kurt up and threw him onto his bed, climbing on top of him. “You sure you want to do this?”

Kurt nodded impatiently. “Yeah. You are too, right?”

“Definitely.” In one swift movement, Puck had managed to also remove Kurt’s shirt. He moved his lips down to Kurt’s neck, passionately marking him. “God, I love this.”

Kurt pushed him away, a terrified look on his face. “What?”

“I said, ‘ _I love this_ ’,” Puck repeated, unable to hide his confusion.

“Oh,” Kurt laughed. “Thank God. I thought you said ‘ _I love you_ ’.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” 

“I...” Kurt was stumped.

“We should be feeling that way about each other right about now.”

 _Oh, God_. “We should?”

“Yeah. Don’t you feel _that_ way about me?”

 ** _Oh, God_**. “I have to go,” Kurt burst out, panic rising up in him. He couldn’t do this right now. 

“What? This is your house-“

 ** _Oh, God!_** “Bye! I- I’ll call you!” Kurt jumped off the bed, pausing briefly to grab a random shirt. This was not how today was supposed to go.


	24. Treehouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt makes a choice about his relationship with Puck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
> \- Mention of previous attempted non-con (from ch. 20)

After running out of his house, Kurt pulled the shirt over his head. Luckily for him, he still had his phone in his back pocket. Instinctively, he took it out and thought about who he would call. 

Rachel, Finn, and Quinn were all out of the question since they all had biased opinions about Puck.

Mercedes seemed like the most intelligent option, but he did not need her logic right now. He just needed someone to confess to.

When it came down to it, there was only one person he wanted to talk to.

“Hey, Sebastian,” Kurt said over the phone. “Can you meet me?”

“ _Yeah, of course_ ,” Sebastian replied. “ _Where?_ ”

Kurt looked around. He had no idea where to go. Puck was still inside, most likely talking to Finn, so Kurt knew that going back inside was definitely not an option as he wasn’t ready to face Puck yet. He was still confused as to what had happened. That also meant that he couldn’t go in and grab his keys for his car, so he had to go somewhere within walking distance. He didn’t want to go to the Lima Bean or Breadstix as there was still a possibility of running into Blaine there. That was when Kurt recalled a sad story that Rachel told him, about how she begged her dads to build her a treehouse when she was younger so she could have sleepovers with her friends in it. Of course, up until recently, Rachel didn’t have any friends, and the friends that she had now weren’t exactly the type to sleep in trees, so the house went unused. If luck was still on Kurt’s side, the treehouse would still be there and he could meet Sebastian there. “Meet me outside of Rachel’s, ‘kay?”

“ _Alright. Are you okay? You sound kind of down_.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you in a few hours-“

“ _Actually, I’m at the Lima Bean with Nick right now. I’ll be there in 10_.”

“Oh, okay,” Kurt nodded his head to himself. “See you then.” After he had hung up, he sighed to himself and started on the long walk to Rachel’s house.

* * *

Kurt felt slightly light-headed as he walked. He could hear his heartbeat and his thoughts would not stop racing through his mind. Ever since running out of his house, he had refused to address the current situation, pushing the constant thoughts out of his head. But now he had almost 20 minutes of doing nothing ahead of him and he knew that he couldn’t avoid it forever.

He started off with the most obvious statement: he had thought that Puck had told him that he loved him, and Kurt had completely freaked him out. But _why_ had he? The answer to that question completely eluded him, and he knew that he needed some more advice. 

He pulled his phone back out of his pocket and dialled his therapist’s home number, praying that she would pick up. He knew that she had finished work earlier that day, but she had promised him that she would always pick up if he needed her. 

“ _Hello? Dr Lee speaking, how can I help you?_ ” his therapist, Dr Lee introduced.

“H- Hi. It’s Kurt. Kurt Hummel.”

“ _Oh, hi, Kurt. Is everything okay?_ ” Dr Lee asked gently.

“I have a question.”

“ _Go on_.”

“So, my boyfriend told- well, I _thought_ he told me that he loved me. And I panicked and then he started saying all this crap about how we should be feeling stuff at this point in our relationship, but I don’t feel it and I don’t know why.”

“ _Well, after your relationship with Blaine, it is possible that you’re afraid to be in another serious relationship. You may be protecting yourself from getting hurt again_.”

“I- I’m not scared.”

“ _You said yourself that you panicked, why do you think that is?_ ”

“I don’t know.”

“ _Do you like your boyfriend?_ ”

“Yes, a lot. He was one of my best friend’s before we started dating. But when he said- I _thought_ he said that he loved me, it just all got so _real_. _Oh_ ,” Kurt facepalmed, “I am scared.”

“ _The first step is admitting it._ ”

“So, because of Blaine, I can’t be in a relationship?”

“ _I wouldn’t say that. You have a boyfriend at this moment in time. I would say that you have trust issues and are afraid of being in a committed relationship. Was there anything that Blaine did while you were with him that would cause that for you?_ ” Dr Lee explained.

“He...” Kurt thought back to when he tried to leave Blaine the first time. “He always said that I couldn’t leave him because he needs me.”

“ _Your root of the issue could be that you’re worried about someone becoming too dependent on you and making you trapped in the relationship_.”

“Maybe... do you have any advice on what I could do?”

“ _I would say to open yourself up to people. You’re always going to get hurt in life but you can’t be afraid of it._ _Not every person that you date will be like Blaine and you need to trust again, even if it’s just starting off with one of your friends._ ”

Kurt nodded to himself. “Okay, thank you, Dr Lee. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“ _Bye, Kurt. Have a good night_.”

Dr Lee hung up, leaving Kurt feeling both relieved and confused. Things were a little clearer, but he still wasn’t sure. Did he have issues with commitment? His relationship with Chandler had gone nowhere. He had kept himself from getting close with Puck. He had never pursued a relationship with Sebastian. All simply because he was afraid... afraid that he’d be hurt, or that things would get too serious and everything would be ruined. That part was obvious.

But he was still confused about what to do next with Puck. Was he supposed to break up with him? Let Puck dump him? Talk it out? He ran his hand through his hair, turning into Rachel’s street. He guessed that things would be clearer after a meaningful conversation with Sebastian.

* * *

Kurt grinned as soon as he saw Sebastian’s familiar, tacky, bright green hoodie that was way too out of style. It was the first time he had felt happiness since the Puck-fiasco.

“Hey.” Kurt nodded his head at his best friend.

“Hey. Care to tell me why we’re outside of Rachel Berry’s house at...” Sebastian checked his non-existent watch, “9:45 on a cold December’s night?”

“Follow me.” Kurt reached out and took Sebastian’s hand in his own. He led him through Rachel’s front yard and to her back garden, where a tall, thick tree stood, containing an old but safe-looking treehouse. There was no ladder or rope to climb up, so Kurt decided to use the branches instead. “You know how to climb, right?”

“Of course,” Sebastian replied. “But won’t we get caught?”

“Rachel is sleeping at Quinn’s house tonight, and her dad’s always go to this fancy dinner party thing every Friday. We’re good.”

Sebastian shrugged and started to move up the tree carefully with Kurt, following not far behind him. After they were both comfortably sat in the house, Sebastian cleared his throat. 

“So,” he said, “what’s up?”

“Promise you won’t judge me.”

Sebastian chuckled softly. “Trust me, I’m the last person to do that.”

“I thought that Puck told me he loved me and I ran away.”

“Oh, crap. I’m sorry.

“Am I a bad person?”

“God, no, Kurt. I- I’ve tons of bad things, but I don’t consider myself to be a bad person. I’m sure you had your reasons for doing what you did. And after what Blaine put you through, I don’t blame you.”

Kurt nodded. “My therapist said the same thing. She told me that I might be scared of commitment.”

“Blaine sucks.”

“He does,” Kurt laughed. “So, is there anything you want to get off your chest?”

Sebastian drew a sharp breath. _Just tell him_ , he thought. _It’s time_.

“Seb?”

“Blaine tried to sleep with me,” he blurted out.

Kurt looked slightly confused for a second then let out a nervous laugh. “I know, and you guys _did_ do it. Like, 5 months ago.”

“No, I mean recently.”

“How recent?” Kurt asked, his tone slightly annoyed.

“Nearly a month ago. But we didn't do it."

“Why not?” Kurt asked, holding Sebastian’s hand in his own.

“I don't want to say.”

“Seb.”

“He kept... touching me even after I said no."

"Oh my God..." Kurt covered his mouth with his free hand.

"I managed to escape once and then he pinned me up against the door. Then when I pointed out that he was forcing me, he let me go. I don't think he was aware of what he was doing- or at least that it was _wrong_. Or maybe he was and is just a really good actor."

"I'm so sorry," Kurt whispered.

"It's okay. It was hard at first, just seeing him made me sick. But it's fine now- well, not _fine_ , but I can sleep at night again."

"And I accused you of sleeping with him again..."

"It's okay." Sebastian smiled at him. "I would have thought the same thing. He did _kiss_ me a little."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise, Kurt. It wasn't your fault."

Kurt nodded his head, though he didn't believe Sebastian's words. "It's gonna be hard."

“What is?”

“Talking to Puck.”

“Just be honest with him.”

Kurt rested his head on Sebastian’s shoulder. “It just feels like my life is a never-ending struggle. Sorry, I know you've been through a lot too...”

Sebastian gently lifted Kurt’s head up so they could look at each other in the eyes. “It’s okay, Kurt. I’ve come to terms with it, and as long as he doesn’t get too close to me-” the kissing from his father’s gala had hit Sebastian later that night- “I’m fine. Let’s work on your issue now, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Do you love Puck?”

Well, that was a fun question. “I don’t know,” Kurt answered. “I don’t think so. I like kissing him and he’s nice, I guess”

“But…”

“We barely talk. In fact, we talk less than when we were just friends. I feel a spark when I’m with him, but it’s not an _ohmygodIthinkI’vejustmetmyfuturehusband_ spark, it’s more of a _justtalkoffyourdamnshirtbeforeIloseit_ spark. There’s no connection.”

“Do you think you might get one over time?”

Kurt sighed. “No… I feel the same about him as I’ve always felt- he’s hot and I’m horny. I guess that breaking up with Blaine made me see all the possibilities, and Puck was just less of a fantasy and more of a reality. Maybe I got in way over my head.”

Sebastian didn’t ask Kurt what he was going to do about it. Kurt probably didn’t have an answer, and if he did, Sebastian didn’t like the chances of Kurt saying that he would stay with Puck. Here he was, deeply in love with the blue-eyed boy, and the idea of love completely freaked Kurt out. 

Typical, the first time Sebastian felt this way about someone and it could most likely never be returned. 

“Well, I know that you’ll figure it out,” Sebastian said. “You always do, right?”

“What if I don’t?” Kurt mumbled.

“Then everything will be okay, I promise. You’ll always have me, no matter what. It’s not as bad as the Blaine situation. All you have to do is talk, and he’ll listen. Or he’ll talk, and you listen. Think about it tonight, and maybe tomorrow, talk to Mercedes or Rachel or whoever handles your damage control and see what they have to say, and then face Puck on Monday. I promise that everything will be okay.”

“Thank you,” Kurt whispered, squeezing Sebastian’s hand.

* * *

Despite acting cool about what Blaine had done in front of Sebastian, once Kurt was back home alone, he wasn’t as calm. It clouded his mind more than the situation with Puck.

Was this somewhat Kurt’s fault? Blaine was only at Sebastian’s house because they had to work together for the duet. Maybe if Kurt had worked with one of them, Sebastian would have ended up okay. Or maybe if he hadn't broken up with Blaine, then Blaine wouldn’t have tried anything to begin with.

Sebastian would have been okay.

Why did everything revolve around Blaine? Even now, with the New Directions knowing everything that Blaine did to Kurt, they were starting to forgive him again. Jeff and Nick were hanging out with him outside of school, Tina was calling him her ‘best gay’ despite that term being offensive, he and Trent were flirting, Rachel was duetting with him all the time, and Mr Shue was even talking about giving him a solo at Regionals! No matter how much hurt he caused, Blaine always came out on top. Tina wasn’t his friend. Rachel wasn’t his friend. He was barely even close to the Warblers to begin with, so it wasn’t too much of a loss, but it still hurt. He knew that ~~his friends~~ the New Directions could be friends with who they wanted, but the fact was that they were friends with him first, and their disloyalty was painful. 

And now Blaine had hurt Sebastian too. 

That brought Kurt back to the issue at hand. _This is my fault_ , Kurt thought. Was his friendship with Sebastian putting the other male in danger? Was Blaine targeting Sebastian out of revenge for the breakup? If Kurt wasn’t friends with Sebastian anymore, then Sebastian would be safe. 

But Kurt didn’t want to terminate his friendship with Sebastian. He was his best friend, after all, and Sebastian hadn’t done anything wrong. But Sebastian wasn’t the type of person to blame himself, right? Kurt was sure that if he just explained the situation then everything would be fine. 

Maybe, though, if Kurt took Blaine back, he could have it all. Blaine might even change-

But that would mean kissing Blaine, being close to him, maybe _sleeping_ with him just to stop him from doing it with anyone else.

“No,” Kurt whispered, “I can’t go through that again.”

So ending it with Sebastian it was. Kurt hated the idea with a burning passion, but if it would keep Sebastian safe, it would be absolutely worth it. All Kurt wanted was to keep Sebastian safe.

After a lot of thought, he dialled Sebastian’s number, which was instantly picked up.

“I just wanted to tell you,” Kurt said quickly, “that we can’t be friends anymore. I’m sorry.” 

With that, he hung up, hearing a small and confused “ _what?_ ” from the other end.

* * *

Kurt woke up the next morning with a missed call from Mercedes. He called her back, putting her on speaker while he got ready for the day. 

“ _Are you okay?_ ”

“Yeah, why?” Kurt asked, spitting out his toothpaste so she could hear him clearly.

“ _Puck told me what happened._ ”

“Crap,” Kurt muttered to himself. “Did he tell anyone else?”

“ _No, just me._ ” Kurt heard Mercedes sigh. “ _He’s just worried about you, Kurt. You should call him back_.”

“I will talk to him, it’s just going to be tomorrow at school, I think. I just need to decide what I’m going to do.”

“ _Okay, I’ll talk to you later. Take care_.”

“Bye!” Kurt replied, hanging up. He sat down at his vanity table but didn’t start on his skincare routine. Instead, he reread through his texts from Puck.

Kurt wasn’t sure in the slightest what to do. He already knew that he didn’t have a future with Puck, but did that really mean they had to break up? He liked being with Puck- _but not as much as you like being with Sebastian_ , he told himself. 

But he wasn’t with Sebastian anymore. And that reminder felt like a punch in the gut. 

“If I break up with Puck, then I’ll have lost both him and Sebastian in less than a day,” Kurt thought out loud. Where was Burt Hummel when you needed him? His dad would always know what to do.

Finn poked his head into the bathroom. “Hey, Kurt, which part of my face is my T-zone again?”

Kurt drew lines across his face, demonstrating. Just as Finn turned to leave the room, Kurt blurted out, “Wait!”

“What?”

“D- Did Puck tell you what happened?”

Finn sighed and leaned against the door frame. “Yeah, he did.”

“And?”

“He was pretty mad at first since you just ran out on him. Then he was upset that you had that reaction to something he didn’t even do. _Then_ he was just worried about you. Neither of us knew where you were or what you were doing.” Finn walked towards Kurt and put a hand on his shoulder. “ _I_ was worried about you. You should have called me to let me know you were safe, little brother.”

“Sorry.” Kurt looked down at his lap. “I was with Sebastian.”

“‘With Sebastian’ how?”

“We were just talking about everything.” Kurt decided to not mention anything about what Blaine did or that he and Sebastian were no longer friends. 

“I’m really glad you have Sebastian,” Finn confessed.

 _Great_. “Really? Why?”

“I can see that he’s helped you a lot and you’re definitely happier with him around. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Thanks.” Kurt bit his lip. 

“What are you going to do about Puck?”

“What do _you_ think I should do?” Was Kurt seriously asking for relationship advice from _Finn_? The guy who considered having Rachel as his Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday girlfriend, and Quinn as his girlfriend for the rest of the week?

“I think you should break up with him. It’s not fair for you to lead him on if you’re not feeling anything. If I’m being completely honest, I never thought you two would work out.”

“Really?” Kurt wasn’t expecting that answer.

“Yeah.” Finn looked deep in thought for a second before saying, “I always thought you and Sebastian would be together.”

Kurt shook his head. “I don’t think of Sebastian that way.”

* * *

Kurt spent most of Monday morning searching for Puck. Finn had told him that morning that Puck had gone to school early for once, so it was just a matter of finding him. After failing to find him with 20 minutes left before class, Kurt sighed in defeat and rested on the wall outside of the auditorium. That was when he heard the sound of someone softly singing. Just as he walked inside, the singing stopped. It was Puck. Kurt put his hands together and clapped as he walked into the auditorium, catching Puck’s attention. “Wish I could have heard the whole thing,” he said, sitting on the piano beside Puck.

“Yeah,” Puck muttered.

“Look, Puck, I’m really sorry about what happened on Saturday.” Kurt reached for Puck’s hand and held onto it tightly.

“It’s okay, I shouldn’t have freaked you out like that.”

“So, we’re okay?” Kurt asked.

“Kurt, I think we should just be friends,” Puck told him gently. 

“Y- You’re breaking up with me?”

“This is mutual, Kurt. You don’t want to be with me, do you? And I don’t want to force you to be in this relationship even in the slightest.”

Kurt nodded his head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, dude.”

“T- This wasn’t just a rebound relationship, was it?”

“No,” Puck jumped off the piano and pulled Kurt into a hug, “we had feelings and cared for each other, but we just weren’t meant to be.”

“Friends?” 

“Friends,” Puck agreed.

Kurt leaned his head on Puck’s chest. “Who would have thought that Blaine would turn out to be a jerk and you a total sweetheart.”

“Yeah, well, don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to keep.”


	25. What The Hell Is My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuck in detention with Sebastian, Kurt thinks over his life.

Kurt cursed under his breath, emptying his bag for the second time. “It has to be in here somewhere,” he muttered. 

His English teacher was getting closer to him, yet he still couldn’t find his homework. “Kurt?” she said, holding out her hand. 

“Uh, it’s not in my bag,” he said, looking at her helplessly. “It might be in my locker. Can I go look?”

“You have 2 minutes,” she told him, crossing her arms. She certainly wasn’t impressed. 

“Thank you!” He ran out of the classroom, around 2 corners, and down the hall to reach his locker. He put in his combination and opened it up, searching through the shelves.

“Kurt?”

Kurt froze. _Oh God no_ , he thought. He slowly closed his locker and turned around. “Sebastian, what are you doing here?”

“I was coming back from the bathroom. I- I think we should talk,” Sebastian told him.

“I don’t agree.”

“Did you get any of my texts?”

“Yeah, all of them. Seb, we shouldn’t be friends anymore.”

The look on Sebastian’s face broke Kurt’s heart. “Why?”

“Because you were friends with me Blaine tried to do that to you...”

Sebastian sighed. “Kurt, you don’t really believe that it was your fault, right?”

“It’s Blaine we’re talking about here, Sebastian.” Kurt shut his locker. “When has anything that involves him _not_ been my fault? Or at least connected to me in some way.”

Sebastian swallowed harshly. He wished that he could tell Kurt that it had nothing to do with him, but he didn’t want to lie to Kurt. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Then why did he do it?”

 _Damnit._ “Okay.” Sebastian took a deep breath. “A while back, I had a small crush on you.”

“Why-“

“Let me finish, please. Blaine knew about it, and when he came over to my house to rehearse our duet, he- he kept kissing me. And, of course, I rejected him, but then he started saying all this stuff about how I was supposed to like _him_ and not you and,“ Sebastian suppressed the urge to vomit, “he said that he would prove it…”

Kurt gently touched Sebastian’s arm and Sebastian savoured the feeling. “I’m so sorry,” Kurt whispered.

“It’s not your fault. I’m sure that if it was someone else who liked you, Blaine would have tried to do the same. I mean, I sure hope that he hasn’t and won’t, but still…”

“Can I ask you something?” Kurt asked, his voice small.

“Of course.”

“Do you still have a crush on me?”

 _Crap._ Sebastian couldn’t be honest about this, could he? It would make their friendship weird. And besides, Kurt obviously wasn’t in the right place to be hearing romantic confessions. “No.”

Kurt laughed a little. “Okay, good.”

“Besides, you’re with Puck, anyway,” Sebastian pointed out.

“No, we broke up this morning,” Kurt said, and Sebastian’s heart skipped a beat. 

“Can we be friends again?” Sebastian asked.

Kurt shook his head. “It puts you in a dangerous position and I don’t want that. This is for the best.” Kurt didn’t wait for a response and walked away.

* * *

As Kurt walked back into his English class, he quickly realised that he had actually forgotten to get his homework. When he saw his teacher, he shook his head at her. 

“Okay, Mr Hummel,” she said, “I’ll see you in detention tonight.”

Kurt sighed and slumped into his seat. “Great,” he complained. “Just great.”

Detention meant doing absolutely nothing for 2 hours except being surrounded by all the jocks. Maybe, if he was lucky, Puck or Finn would also have detention. 

_Crap_. _Puck_. Was he still allowed to hope to spend time with Puck anymore? They maybe have only just broken up a few hours ago, so the wound was still fresh, but they had agreed to be friends. 

_Friends_. _Sebastian_. “What am I supposed to do?” He grumbled. He had literally had nothing but bombshells dropped on him for months, especially in the past 72 hours. How could he make sense of anything?

He turned to the back page of his notebook, writing the title, ‘ **What The Hell Is My Life** ’.

He wrote the number one, then was stumped. What was the biggest obstacle that he was yet to overcome? He had confronted Blaine as much as he could, but he was still yet to talk to David.

  1. **Talk to David.**



_Okay_ , he thought. _Easier written than done_. _What’s next?_ He still had to figure out what to do about his friendship with Sebastian. And Sebastian’s crush on him. _“I had a small crush on you.”_ Had. Past tense. He no longer had one. Kurt sighed in relief as he wrote it down. He could not deal with another love interest right now, he knew that he had too much in his life to sort out.

  1. **Decide on the situation with Sebastian.**



Kurt already felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulder. _What else is there?_ There was his NYADA audition coming up, and he was still yet to choose a song.

  1. **Choose NYADA song**



And his duet with Sebastian.

  1. **Brainstorm Regionals duet**



He knew that there was more to figure out, but the bell was about to signal the end of class. 

* * *

Sebastian stood there in the hallway, his mouth hanging open. _What the hell just happened?_ he thought. Kurt had... broken off their friendship? Because of Blaine. _Ugh, why did Blaine keep ruining things for Kurt?_

After what felt like forever, he finally made his way back to class with only 10 minutes left. He was in the middle of a quiz when he left, but he couldn’t get his mind straight enough to finish it. By the time the bell was going, he handed in a half-completed test to his teacher on the way out.

His teacher glanced at it and frowned. “I expected better from you, Sebastian,” he said, making Sebastian hang his head in shame. “Detention after school.”

Sebastian was about to argue by saying that he couldn’t afford to stay behind for 2 hours since he already had a 2-hour drive home, but he was too tired. He simply nodded and continued his way to lunch.

On his way into the hall, he ran into Santana. 

“What’s up with you?” She said. 

“I got detention and Kurt isn’t talking to me.”

“Rough day, then. Why’d you get detention?”

“I didn’t finish my test because Kurt isn’t talking to me.”

“And why isn’t Kurt talking to you?”

“Because of what Blaine did.”

“God. What are you gonna do?”

“Just wing it, I guess.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No, he needs to make his choice on his own.”

* * *

Kurt watched as Santana and Sebastian sauntered into the lunch hall, and was instantly reminded of his ‘ **What The Hell Is My Life** ’ list. He decided that now would be a better time than ever to make his decision, or at least get started on it, about what to do with Sebastian. He pulled his notebook and pen back out and turned to a new page. 

“What are you doing?” Mercedes asked, giving him a questioning look.

“Homework,” Kurt replied. He titled the page, ‘ **Sebastian Smythe ???** ’. 

He decided to start off by listing the facts.

**Blaine tried to force Sebastian to have sex with him. It hurt Sebastian a lot and it could have ended badly. It was my fault.**

Kurt stared at the page and sighed. It wasn't his fault, he had to stop blaming himself. He didn't make Sebastian have a crush on him, he didn't control Blaine's actions. And keeping his distance from Sebastian wouldn't guarantee his safety, Blaine would most likely pull stunts no matter what. And for God's sake, Sebastian was his _best friend_. Kurt shouldn't be avoiding him, especially not after he yelled at Sebastian for doing the same a few weeks back.

Kurt turned back to his ‘ **What The Hell Is My Life** ’ list and crossed off number 2.

  1. **~~Decide on the situation with Sebastian.~~**



* * *

“Okay,” Coach Sylvester said, sitting on top of the teacher's desk. “You losers are in here because- oh, Porcelain, it’s just you.”

“Yeah,” Kurt said, resting his head on the desk. Luckily for him, it seemed that no one else was in detention. “Just me.”

“Why the hell are you here? You’re not popular enough to be in detention.”

“Forgot my homework.”

“Idiot,” Coach Sylvester muttered under her breath. “Anyway, sit here and shut up for- oh?” Coach Sylvester turned towards the door as someone else walked in. 

Kurt lifted his head just enough for him to see who it was. He narrowed his eyes as he stared at the green-eyed boy in front of him. “Sebastian. Why are you here?”

“Be quiet, Porcelain, I’ll do the talking around here. Other-Gay-Kid-From-Glee-That-I-Never-Bothered-To-Learn-The-Name-Of, why are you here?”

“I, uh, didn’t finish a test,” Sebastian answered.

“Well, looks like we have two 'troublemakers' here today. Sit down, and be quiet.”

Sebastian looked around the room for an empty seat, glancing at Kurt hopefully. Kurt sighed and dragged his bag off the seat beside him.

“Thanks,” Sebastian whispered. 

“Now, I’m going to go check on Becky. I’ll be about 10 minutes which is enough time for you both to have a meaningful conversation,” Coach Sylvester announced, leaving the room.

The two sat in silence for a few seconds until Kurt said, “I’ve been thinking, and, I want to be friends.”

“Really? I don’t want you to feel like you have to-“

“Seb, you’re my best friend. It's all okay, we'll figure this out.”

“Thank you,” Sebastian expressed, pulling Kurt into a hug. “So, we’re okay?”

“Yes, we’re okay. We’ll always be okay, even if we’re in a fight. I-I love you.”

“I love you,” Sebastian murmured. _Only we mean it in different ways_ , he thought. “Kurt, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“W-Would me sleeping with Blaine have any impact on us two ever... dating?” he dared to ask. “I’m asking for a friend,” he quickly added. 

“You’re asking for a friend about the possibility of you and I dating?” Kurt clarified.

“Exactly.”

“Okay, um. I don’t know. I’m gonna be honest, I’m taking a break from dating. I literally just broke up with Puck today.”

“Oh, God, I’m sorry-“

“It’s okay."

“C-Could you maybe sorta possibly answer the question please?” Sebastian asked quickly.

“Uh, I haven’t really thought about you and I being like that too much. But I don’t think it would stop us from being together,” Kurt answered.

Sebastian sighed in, if Kurt didn’t know any better, he would say relief. “Okay. Thank you.”

Kurt leaned his head on the desk. “No problem.”

“So, why does Coach Sylvester call you Porcelain?”

“It’s kind of my nickname she gave me,” Kurt replied. “It was an apology for calling me Lady.”

“Oh, crap.”

“It’s okay, she’s more educated now and actually helped me a lot.”

“Hey, Kurt?”

Kurt lifted his head to look at Sebastian. “Yeah?”

“What’s up?”

Kurt sighed and pulled out his notebook, showing his ‘ **What The Hell Is My Life** ’ list to Sebastian. “I have no idea what to do. There‘s just so much and-“ he cut himself off by groaning. “Life is hard.”

“Shh,” Sebastian said, running a hand through Kurt’s hair. "You're really smart and amazing and talented, I guarantee that you'll figure it all out. And you know that I'm here if you need anything, always. Just don't shut me out, okay? You're my friend and I don't care about Blaine. He can do whatever he wants to me, but as long as you're with me, I promise we won't let him get away with it. We can stop him. If we have each other, we'll always be okay."

“That was sweet,” Kurt murmured, giving Sebastian a dopey grin.

“Really?”

"Yes, dummy."

"Oh, I'm not really used to the whole sentimental cr-"

“I told you losers not to talk!” Coach Sue hollered at them, reentering the room. 

“Sorry, Coach.” “Sorry!” Sebastian and Kurt said at the same time, both resisting the urge to laugh together.

* * *

At long last, detention was finally over, allowing Kurt and Sebastian to go back home. However, by the time they reached the parking lot, it was pouring with rain. The water hit them both harshly, resulting in Sebastian pulling Kurt close to him as he covered their heads with his jacket.

Kurt cursed under his breath. “My car is on the other side of the lot.”

“Okay, um.” Sebastian clumsily retrieved his keys from his pocket. “Just wait in my car until this calms down.”

“Are you sure?” Kurt asked. “It’s already late enough as it is, I don’t want you to get home too late-“

“And I don’t want you to catch a cold. You’re already soaked enough.”

Kurt simply nodded in reply, opening the passenger side door to the car. As he slid into the seat, he gently shook his head, trying to remove as much of the water as he could. Sebastian did the same, only he wasn’t as careful and ended up getting water droplets all over the car. 

“I’m just going to call Finn,” Kurt told Sebastian. “I don’t want him to worry.” 

“Okay,” Sebastian replied, drying off his hair with an abandoned shirt from the back seat.

“Hey, Finn,” Kurt said. “I’m just in Sebastian’s car.”

Sebastian tried his best to listen, but he couldn’t hear what Finn said back.

“Yeah, it’s raining really badly and I can’t get to my car,” Kurt continued. “I’ll be home soon, ‘kay? Alright, bye.” Kurt hung up and sighed. “Brothers.”

“Can’t relate,” Sebastian chuckled. “Only child right here.”

“Lucky.”

“Not really, all I wanted when I was younger was a little brother or sister.”

Kurt grinned at him. “Well, I’ll be your brother.”

“Ah, great,” Sebastian said with fake enthusiasm. _Did I just get_ brother-zoned _?!_ he thought with horror. It seemed like a relationship with Kurt was getting further and further away with each passing day.

“Do you think the radio works?” Kurt asked, fumbling with the buttons to turn it on.

“Probably.” Sebastian took over, knowingly managing to turn the radio on. A random station played, with neither boy knowing what the song was. 

“So, what do you wanna do to pass the time?” Sebastian asked. “It doesn’t look like the rain is going to stop anytime soon.”

“Hmm, tell me about yourself. I barely know anything about your home life. You said you wanted a sibling.”

“Yeah. My parents aren’t the... best. I know it sounds ungrateful because they give me a roof over my head and everything. But it’s like their either never around or they’re too around if you know what I mean. They only care about me if it affects them. I just thought that by having a sibling, I wouldn’t be so alone.”

“I’m sorry.”

Sebastian shrugged. “It gives me some freedom, I guess. Not that I use it to my advantage anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know about my past, right? How I used to sleep around like my life depended on it. I don’t do that anymore.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve just... changed. That life doesn’t make me happy anymore.”

“What does make you happy?”

“You,” Sebastian admitted, blushing sheepishly.

“Aw.” Kurt looked like he was going to say something else when he suddenly gasped. "Okay, I actually _love_ this song! What’s it called?”

“Uh, hang on,” Sebastian pulled his phone out of his pocket and googled the lyrics that were currently being sung. “ _Rewrite the Stars_?”

“I love it!”

Sebastian chuckled. “Uh, do you wanna do this song for R-“

“Yes!”

“-egionals. Okay, I’ll save the song.”

“Great!”

“So, uh, how are you doing about your dad?” 

Kurt narrowed his eyes a little. “Why are you asking?”

“Because you’re my friend, and we haven’t talked about it for a while.”

“I talk about it with my therapist.”

“Sometimes it’s better to talk about things with your friends.”

Kurt nodded in agreement. “I’m doing my best to not think about it- him at all. I guess that somehow, it still hasn’t hit me. It just feels like he’s on a really long vacation.”

“What about when you do think about him?”

“T- That’s mostly on a night when I’m alone. I just stare at the ceiling until it passes.” Kurt exhaled harshly. “Or if it is really bad, I’ll go into Finn and Sam’s room. I just wish I could get over it. I hate the way I feel when I think about him.”

Sebastian held Kurt’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “It’s okay to not be okay,” he said softly.

Kurt met his eyes. Those words were the same ones he had been whispering to himself over and over during every breakdown, every night that he couldn’t sleep, every time he felt that he was being pathetic. _He understands_ , Kurt realised. _And he doesn’t judge me_. He looked down at Sebastian’s hand, the one that was softly stroking his own. Kurt felt something weird in him at that moment as he looked at the intimacy between them. 

_Things with Sebastian are simple_ , he thought. _I don’t have to be afraid of being myself around him, nor does he with me._

“It’s stopped raining,” Sebastian pointed out, and Kurt felt his heart drop. He didn’t want to leave. He felt a tightness in his chest at the thought of leaving-

_Oh my God._

Kurt didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay with Sebastian. When he was with the other male, he was always happy. He wanted Sebastian to be happy. It hurt so much when they were fighting. He wanted Sebastian in his future.

_Oh my God._

He had fallen for Sebastian without even realising it.


	26. Unicorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt runs for Senior Class President, but not everything goes to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know anything about this stuff so just roll with it, my dudes.

So. Much. Glitter. 

Kurt was sure that he would be getting glitter out of… _everywhere_ for months. 

When he had asked Brittany to help him with his presidential campaign, he wasn’t expecting a giant, pink glitter bomb to explode in his room. 

“What do you think?” Brittany asked, the type of grin on her face that you just can’t say no to. 

“Um **,”** Kurt chuckled awkwardly, knowing that if he somehow hurt her feelings, he would have Santana clawing his face off at 3am, “it’s a little… gay.”

“So?”

“So, there’s a lot more to me than just my sexuality, Britt.”

“Yeah, but why do you want to run for President?”

“So that I’ll have more extracurriculars.”

“And?”

“And to stop bullying,” Kurt answered in a condescending tone. He didn’t see where Brittany was going with this.

“Because?”

“Because I was bullied.”

“And why were you bullied?”

“Because I’m gay.”

“Exactly! That’s how you get people’s attention,” she gestured to the pile of posters on his bed, "by being who you are.”

“Everyone hates who I am.”

“That’s not true. No one in the Glee club does, or any of the kids who are also being bullied. That’s your audience, Kurt. Don’t change yourself to suit all the jerks.”

Kurt shook his head, once again staring at the glitter-fied Kurt on the poster. “I don’t need to go big, there’s no one opposing me. It’s basically a guaranteed win.”

“Didn’t you hear? Rachel’s also running.”

Kurt felt something inside of him snap. “What?”

“Rachel’s-“

“Yeah, I heard you.” Kurt drew in a sharp breath. “She knows how important this is for me,” he muttered to himself.

“Neither you nor Rachel are that popular, but I think she has a better chance than you. You need to go Unicorn, Kurt.”

“I just… Why is she running?”

“Same reason as you, she wants a better chance of getting into NYADA.”

“But she has like every single club on her resumé! Do you think I can talk her out of it?”

Brittany snorted. “It’s Rachel, what do you think?”

Kurt let out a groan while facepalming. “What am I going to do?”

“Take my advice.”

“Look, Britt. You’re popular, you’re pretty, you’re a cheerleader. If you did _this_ ,” Kurt waved manically at the posters again, “then you’d win in a heartbeat. But for me… I’d get laughed off the stage.”

Brittany glared at him, pouting a little. “Okay, but I think you’re making a mistake,” she announced before walking out.

* * *

Kurt stared at the poster on the wall in disbelief. It was an almost exact copy of the poster that Brittany had originally made for him, but instead of his face being on it, it was _Brittany’s_.

“What the hell?!” He hissed to himself.

“It looks like Brittany’s running for president,” Sebastian observed, coming up behind him.

“Yeah, no kidding,” Kurt muttered, ripping the poster down. He turned around to march away, but Sebastian grabbed his arm.

“Whoa, what are you doing?” 

“I don’t know! Probably to go see what the hell is going on.”

“Just chill out for a second. Why are you so mad?”

“Because this went from being an automatic win to me having 2 opponents. I have no chance of winning now.” Kurt felt like he was on the verge of tears. 

“Okay, okay. Come with me,” Sebastian took the scrunched up poster out of Kurt’s hand and abandoned it on the floor. He led Kurt into the Conveniently Empty Classroom, never letting go of his hand. After they were both sat down, he said, “I don’t think you need to worry.”

“Why not?” Kurt replied, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head. 

“You have my vote, and the Warbler's, and Finn and Puck’s and Sam’s.”

“And Brittany has everyone else,” Kurt pointed out.

“She isn’t exactly the… brightest star in the sky. I think you have a better chance of convincing everyone, plus, you have a better campaign.”

“No one cares about that stuff. Brittany’s a hot cheerleader who’s slept with half of the school, all she has to do is batt her eyelashes and they’ll vote for her,” Kurt sighed.

“You just have to try-“

“I’m tired of trying, Seb. I’ve had to work hard for every single thing in my life, and it’s never paid off. Practically everyone else gets everything handed to them, whether it be solos or dates or competitions. I’ve had to fight for everything, and just this once, I thought I actually had a chance,” Kurt expressed, slumping back in his seat and adjusting the already- neat cuffs on his sleeves. 

“You do have a chance.”

“Do I?” Kurt laughed, despite the statement not being funny in the slightest.

“Yes, just talk to Brittany. See why she’s working against you.”

That wasn’t a bad idea. Kurt leaned forward again, resting his chin in his hand. Yesterday, Brittany was all for helping him, but now she was running against him. _Was it because I didn’t like her posters?_ He thought to himself. 

Standing up, he turned to his friend, a light blush on his face when he realised he was staring at Sebastian’s forearms. They were so muscular. “Thanks for your help,” he eventually blurted out. “I’m gonna go see if I can catch Britt before class.”

“‘Kay,” Sebastian replied. “Good luck.”

* * *

Kurt had just missed Brittany by a few seconds, so he instead decided to ambush her in Home Economics. Instead of sitting in his usual seat besides Mercedes, he slid into the empty one beside Brittany. 

“Hi, Kurt,” she said, not put out by his presence in the slightest.

“Are you gonna address the elephant in the room?”

Brittany looked around the room with a furrowed brow. “There’s an elephant in the room?”

“No, what I mean is…” he trailed off and groaned.

“Are you okay?”

“I thought you were helping me! Why are you also running?”

“Oh. Well, I was, but then you didn’t listen to any of my ideas and you wouldn’t be yourself. So, I decided to run myself because our class deserves a leader who is a unicorn.”

Kurt let out an exasperated sigh. “So, if I embrace the unicorn, or whatever, you’ll help me again?”

“I don’t know, Kurt,” Brittany expressed. “I’m kind of enjoying this whole thing.”

“Well- Well,” Kurt stammered. “How about this, if you help me win, I’ll make you my VP and listen to _all_ your suggestions. That way you can have all the fun and none of the responsibility!”

Brittany considered this for a minute, tapping her finger on the desk. “Maybe…”

“We can both take down Rachel,” Kurt continued. “If you can talk me up to the popular kids, she won’t stand a chance.” Kurt took Brittany’s hand in his. “Please, Britt. I’ll let you choose the prom theme.”

Brittany grinned and nodded. “You had me when you said I can choose the prom theme.”

“That was _literally_ the last thing I said, but okay.”

Brittany squealed. “This is going to be so much fun!”

“Yeah,” Kurt said, allowing his muscles to untighten, “it is.”

* * *

Despite feeling more confident about his chances of winning, Kurt still stormed up to Rachel’s locker upon seeing another one of her campaign posters defiling the halls.

“We need to talk,” he snapped, clenching his fists.

“About NYADA? Because I think-“

“No! About you running for president,” he corrected. “Against me.”

“Look, Kurt,” Rachel bowed her head, “I’m sorry, but after cancelling West Side Story, what other choice do I have? I _need_ this.”

“So do I! You have all of your solo’s at competitions to help you out, what do I have? Nothing.”

“You-You don’t understand, Kurt-“

“No, you don’t understand. If you get this, sure, you get into NYADA. But if I get this, Britt and I can make a real difference for kids here.”

“Wait, you and Brittany? You’re working together?” Rachel shook her head.

“Yeah, she’s gonna be my VP.”

“You stabbed me in the back-“

“You stabbed me first!”

“Why does she get to be your Vice?”

“Because she’s actually my friend!”

Rachel gasped overdramatically. “You don’t mean that.”

“Pretty sure I do,” Kurt shot back, turning on his heel and walking away.

Rachel stood there for a minute, her arms wrapped around herself. She forgot what she was supposed to be doing, until a voice from behind said, “Can you believe him?”

Rachel spun around, not meeting his eye. “You heard all that?”

“Of course I did, you two weren’t being exactly quiet,” Blaine snickered, attempting to seem cool by leaning against one of the lockers. “He’s a jerk.”

“He is,” Rachel agreed, before shaking her head. “But he’s kind of right. I shouldn’t be running against him.”

“Why not? You deserve a spot at NYADA as much as he does, more so, actually. He doesn’t get to dictate what you do. I told you before, Rachel, he’s controlling,” Blaine said. He stood up straight, approaching her and linking his arm through her’s as they walked down the hallway. “Let’s be honest, do you really think him being president will give him a better shot at getting in? He’s not talented enough.”

Rachel had to admit, she had been doubting Kurt’s chances of getting in.

“So,” Blaine continued, “I propose that we work together. We can stop Kurt from winning, and make it so you can win.”

"What do you get out of this?"

Blaine smirked. _Taking Kurt down_ , he thought, but aloud he said, "Just knowing that you get what you deserve."

Rachel’s eyes twinkled. “What do you have in mind?”

Blaine smirked and whispered something in Rachel’s ear, earning a satisfying gasp from her.

“That’s… foolproof,” she breathed. _I’m going to win for sure_ , she thought. 

* * *

Kurt was using his free period to design his new campaign posters when Brittany came strolling in.

“Don’t you have Maths right now?” Kurt asked her, setting down his gel pen.

“I’m like a lizard, I come and go as I please,” Brittany replied, sitting down on one of the empty stools. “These posters aren’t unicorn enough.”

Kurt furrowed his brow and glared at her. “They’re pink and have _some_ glitter, what more do you need?”

“There’s no horn.”

“There doesn’t need to be a horn.”

Brittany grabbed a black marker and drew a giant horn on top of Picture Kurt’s head. “There!” She exclaimed proudly, her nose crinkling as she smiled.

Kurt stared at the poster, and even he had to admit, the horn made it look more… complete. More like himself. “Thanks, Britt.”

“Shall we photocopy them?”

“Um, can you, please? I have to work on my speech.”

“Okay.”

As Brittany left the room, Kurt felt someone come up behind him and give him a hug.

“Working hard, Mr President?”

Kurt chuckled and turned around to face Sebastian. “Yup. Just doing my speech.”

“What have you got so far?”

“Address and solve the bullying issue, such as making sports like dodgeball optional, ‘cause the popular kids just abuse it as a way to bully others.”

“I see. So, did you talk to Brittany?” 

“Yup. We’re working together again. She’s going to try and convince the cheerleaders to vote for me, and since I’m on the football team I might be able to persuade the jocks.”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah. Oh!” Kurt exclaimed as he remembered what happened earlier. “I talked to Rachel and-“

“Guys!” Brittany came sprinting back into the room, her eyes wide open. “Rachel is working with Blaine!”

“What?!” Sebastian and Kurt gasped at the same time.

“Is that what you were going to tell me?” Sebastian asked.

Kurt shook his head furiously. “No-No, I didn’t know.” _I feel sick_ , he thought. Rachel was working with Blaine?

“Why would she do that?” Sebastian voiced Kurt’s very thoughts. “I mean, I knew she was annoying, but I didn’t think she was _evil_.”

“What would Blaine get out of this?” 

“When he was with her,” Brittany said, “they kept laughing and talking about beating you. Maybe he just wants to make you fail.”

Kurt slumped back in his seat. “That sounds like Blaine.” And, from having first-hand experience of what Blaine is capable of, Kurt knew that Blaine had a good chance of ruining this for him.

Sebastian squeezed Kurt’s shoulder. “You’ve got this, okay? Right, Britt?” He turned to Brittany for agreement.

“Right,” Brittany agreed. “I’ve got most of the cheerleaders to agree to vote for you, and they’ll probably get their boyfriends to, too. You’ve got this, Unicorn.” She ruffled his hair playfully, unfortunately, getting glitter tangled in it.

“Thanks, Brittany,” Kurt murmured, pinching the end of his nose. “I just wish I knew what they were planning.”

“Relax, okay.” Sebastian stood up from his chair and patted Kurt on his head. “It’s just a few more days until the election. You’ll have won before you know it.” With that, he left the room, leaving Brittany behind, who was staring at Kurt with an enigmatic smile.

“What?” Kurt asked, slightly afraid.

“You like him!”

“What?!”

“It’s so obvious. Oh, Santana is going to be so happy!”

“W- Why would me liking Bas make Santana happy?” 

“Because Sebastian likes you.”

“No.” _For God’s sake, not again_ , Kurt thought. He held his arms close to himself. “He can’t.”

“Why can’t he?”

“Because I’m not ready for another relationship,” Kurt confided. “I broke up with Blaine like 2 months ago, and what have I done? I rejected probably one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met and dated _Puck_ , who I only broke up with like a week ago. I _need_ to take some time for myself.”

“So you’re not going to date him?” Brittany frowned.

“Not right now. Maybe not ever, I don’t know! I just… as much as I like him-“

“So you do have feelings for him!”

“- I can’t see myself being _with_ him.”

* * *

“That was great,” Sebastian whispered into Kurt’s ear as he sat back down.

Kurt had just finished reading out his speech to the students at McKinley who had bothered to show up to the election. It was terrifying, he had to admit, but it went relatively well. And by well, Kurt meant he hadn’t had anything thrown at him.

Blaine had shown up, only to support Rachel. And as Sebastian whispered those comforting words to Kurt, Blaine gave Rachel a kiss on the cheek and told her “good luck” as she went out onto the stage.

Kurt picked at his recently manicured nails as he watched her confidently grab the microphone.

“Students of McKinley High, I speak before you today to tell you that you should vote for me, Rachel Berry, as your Senior Class President. I could rant all day about why I am the perfect candidate, but instead, I’ll tell you about why you _shouldn’t_ vote for Kurt Hummel.”

“Crap,” Sebastian muttered under his breath, turning his head so he could see Kurt’s reaction. 

There wasn’t one. Kurt didn’t seem put out by the comment in the slightest.

“First of all,” Rachel continued, “Kurt is a _massive_ traitor. Remember when he moved to Dalton, away from us? He can’t even bother to stick around! He has no morals!”

There were a few murmurings from the crowd, but Kurt couldn’t decipher if they were positive or negative. 

“And you’ve seen his outfits! Imagine if he chose our prom theme-“

“Hey!” Kurt snapped from the sidelines.

“You suck!” a guy from the audience yelled, throwing a can at Rachel’s head.

“That’s enough, Miss Berry,” Principal Figgins said. “If you don’t have anything to say about yourself then sit down.”

Rachel hummed and flipped her hair as she walked off the stage, giving Kurt a deathly glare which he returned.

“Now, please welcome to the stage Miss Brittany S. Pierce,” Principal Figgins introduced.

Brittany was met with a huge round of applause. “Hello, everyone!” she cheered, throwing her arms out. “Okay, so, I am resigning from the election. And instead, I want you guys to vote for Kurt! You see Kurt over there,” Brittany excitedly pointed at her friend, “and if he wins, he’s going to make me his Vice President. And as VP I pledge to do Topless Tuesday’s and to choose this year's prom theme. So, Rachel,” Brittany turned to the cowering brunette, “you can shove your rude comments about Kurt so far up you-“

“Thank you, Brittany,” Principal Figgins interrupted, shaking his head. These damned Glee kids were the worst. 

* * *

“Who are you voting for?” 

The Glee seniors (minus Kurt and Rachel) were all gathered together, waiting for their turn to vote. Mercedes had just asked the question that everyone had been wondering about each other.

“Kurt, obviously,” Finn answered. 

“Really?” Quinn raised her eyebrow at him. “Rachel’s your girlfriend.”

“Yeah, but she doesn’t have good intentions. And that speech she made…”

“That was just horrible,” Santana chimed in. “And that’s coming from _me_.”

“I’m voting for Kurt,” Mike added, and everyone else nodded in agreement.

* * *

Kurt walked into what he thought was an empty stall, not realising that there was actually someone else in there until he bumped into them. 

“Oh, sorry!” he exclaimed. Upon further inspection, he realised that the person was actually, “Rachel?!”

“Kurt!” Rachel turned around, guilty. 

It was seeing her then that Kurt noticed she was holding what looked like a stack of papers. More specifically…

“You’re stuffing the ballot?” he realised, disbelief dripping from his tone. “Are you really that selfish?” He grabbed the papers from her hand. Instead of the tick being placed in the box beside “Rachel Berry”, it was actually next to “Kurt Hummel”.

“I was trying to help you win! I felt bad,” Rachel attempted. 

_God, if her acting is that bad, she may actually need this win_ , Kurt thought. He ran his finger along the spine of the papers again. “There are at least 300 ballots here,” he noted. “That’s more than there are seniors. Even you’re not that stupid.”

“I’m sorry!” Rachel burst out. “It was Blaine’s idea! He said that if we got you disqualified, I would automatically win!”

“How could you?!”

“I’m sorry!”

“But you’re not,” Kurt scoffed, pulling back the curtain. He shoved the papers back into her hand. “Either you tell Figgins what you did, or I will. I hope you’re happy.”

“Kurt, wait, please!” Rachel pleaded, following him out of the room.

“Leave me alone, Rachel. You’ve done enough.”


	27. I Want You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine performing a song in Glee leads to a series of events resulting in Sebastian icing Kurt out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
> \- Violence  
> \- Refernces to CH 20

“Hey, Mr President.”

Kurt chuckled and turned around to face Sebastian. “Bas, it’s been nearly a week since I won. You can stop calling me that.”

“And Rachel is still suspended.” Sebastian couldn’t keep the smirky grin off his face.

“Don’t smile. I feel kind of bad for her.”

“Why? She had it coming. She can’t pull stunts like that and expect to get away with it.”

“Yeah, but Blaine manipulated her into doing it.”

“I can’t believe he didn’t get in trouble as well.” Sebastian sighed. “The one time he could’ve gotten _actual_ consequences.”

“It wouldn’t be Blaine if he didn’t get away with everything.”

Sebastian snickered. “Have you got everything? We gotta get to Glee.”

“Yup!” Kurt slammed his locker shut and took a deep breath. “I heard that Blaine’s performing some big solo today to convince Mr Shue to give him the lead at Regionals since Rachel can’t do it.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Seriously? He doesn’t deserve it. You do.”

“I’ve already got the duet with you, and that’s more than I could ever ask for. I wish that Mercedes could get it.”

“She’d kill it!”

“For sure.”

Kurt opened the door for Sebastian, and as they walked into the choir room, they saw that Blaine was already standing in the front of the room. 

“Today,” Blaine said, “I’m going to be dedicating this song to someone very important to me. Hit it." He yelled the last sentence to Brad, the Underrated Piano Player.

“ _You gotta go and get angry at all of my honesty._ ”

“He is _not_ singing Justin Bieber,” Kurt hissed to Sebastian, though he was staring at Sam. From the look on the blond’s face, it seemed like he was having the same tragic flashbacks to the ‘Justin Bieber Experience’ as Kurt was.

“ _You know I try, but I don't do too well with apologies_.”

Kurt snorted. As if Blaine would ever even _try_ at apologising. 

“ _I hope I don't run out of time, could someone call a referee? 'Cause I just need one more shot at forgiveness_.”

Kurt couldn’t help but wonder who Blaine was apologising at. It couldn’t be Rachel, since she was still absent from school. Tina, maybe? Those two were practically inseparable.

“ _I know you know that I made those mistakes maybe once or twice. By once or twice, I mean maybe a couple a hundred times._ ”

Now _that_ sounded like Blaine.

“ _So let me, oh let me redeem, oh redeem, oh myself tonight, 'cause I just need one more shot at second chances,_

“ _Yeah, is it too late now to say sorry?_ ”

Kurt was, in a weird way, starting to enjoy the performance. Blaine’s singing wasn’t as awful as it was in his duet with Sebastian. But then Blaine turned to look at Kurt and winked at him.

 _Oh_ , Kurt thought. _He’s serenading me_.

“' _Cause I'm missing more than just your body. Oh, is it too late now to say sorry? Yeah, I know that I let you down. Is it too late to say I'm sorry now? I'm sorry, yeah. Sorry, yeah. Sorry. Yeah, I know that I let you down. Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?_ ”

It seemed like everyone else in the room had caught onto what was happening. A few of the girls were giving Kurt weird stares, the guys were all whispering together, and Mr Shue was facepalming.

“ _I'll take every single piece of the blame if you want me to_.”

“That’s new,” Kurt muttered.

“ _But you know that there is no innocent one in this game for two_.”

“Excuse me!” Kurt scoffed a little too loudly.

“ _I'll go, I'll go and then you go, you go out and spill the truth. Can we both say the words and forget this?_ ” At this point, Blaine sprinted across the room and skidded in front of Kurt. 

“ _I'm sorry, yeah. Sorry, oh. Sorry. Yeah, I know that I let you down. Is it too late to say I'm sorry now? I'm sorry, yeah. Sorry, oh. Sorry. Yeah, I know that I let you down. Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?_ ” Blaine took a deep breath and grinned at Kurt. “Kurt, I am so sorry for everything I did to you. I understand that I was wrong. So, will you please be my boyfriend again?”

 _Oh, dear God. This can’t be happening_ , Kurt thought, horrified. He could hear his heart pounding in his head.

“Kurt?”

 _I have to say something_. “Uh,” he cleared his throat, “c- can we talk outside?”

“Of course.” Blaine nodded his head excitedly. “Let’s go.”

Kurt followed Blaine outside, hesitating a little. For a brief moment, he had forgotten all about the awful things that Blaine had done. Until he looked at him with _that_ look- the one that could make Kurt do anything he wanted, the one that was filled with empty promises and heartbreak. And it was with one glance at that expression that Kurt knew he had to be careful. One wrong move and everything could be back the way it was a few months ago.

Eventually, they stood in the parking lot, facing each other. 

“So?” Blaine said, his eyes filled with hope.

“Blaine… I can’t.”

“You can’t?” Blaine pressed his lips together and took a deep breath. “Why?”

“I don’t feel that way about you anymore.”

“B- But,” Blaine stammered. “I did everything right! I apologised, I took responsibility for my actions, I did a grand gesture-“

“Did you use WikiHow for how to get your ex back?”

“Why, Kurt?!” Blaine exclaimed, his face flushed and his fists clenched. “I- I’ve done everything. I’ve changed.”

“No, you haven’t.” Kurt gestured to Blaine’s current body language. “This- This isn't you changing. I don’t even think you know what you did wrong in our relationship.”

“I love you.”

“You can’t use that as an excuse for your actions.”

“Why not? I love you, and I made a mistake. Why can’t you forgive me?”

“I’m not talking to you about this,” Kurt said as he ran his hand through his hair. “I can’t get back together with you, Blaine. Not while you’re like this, not until I know that it’s even _safe_ to be around you.” With that, he turned on his heel and stalked off to his car, surprisingly not turning back to see the look on Blaine’s face.

* * *

He spent the next 40 minutes waiting for Finn and Sam to leave Glee. As soon as they sat in the front seats, Finn turned to Kurt and asked, “What happened?”

“I said no, obviously,” Kurt replied.

“Yeah, but did he hurt you? Do we need to kill him?” Sam inquired.

“No, he just got annoyed and kept asking me why I wouldn’t take him back.”

Finn nodded, “Okay. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, honestly. I think that maybe he’s actually going to change.”

Sam turned around, with a horrified look on his face. “Y- You’re not going to take him back, right? Like, _ever_.”

“I don’t know.”

“Kurt, you can’t. Even if he does change, you can’t. He’ll hurt you all over again.”

Kurt sighed and slumped back in his seat. “Yeah.” He knew they were right, but deep down, a small part of him still craved for Blaine back.

* * *

Sebastian groaned, pulling himself off of his bed. Someone was pounding loudly on his door, and no matter how much he ignored them, it wouldn’t stop. He didn’t even manage to open his door open all the way before a certain gell-headed hothead was pushing their way into his bedroom.

“ _You_!"

“Blaine? What are you-” Sebastian was cut off by Blaine’s fist connecting with his jaw. He was stunned at first until he felt the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. “What the hell?!” he exclaimed, covering the bruising patch of skin with his hand. He tried to even his breathing- but Blaine was _so_ close.

Blaine ran forward, and despite his small frame, he managed to pin Sebastian to the wall. “You ruined everything!” he hissed.

“What’s wrong with you?!” _Please let me go._

“I almost had Kurt- but _you_! You’re the reason he won’t take me back!”

“Maybe he won’t take you back because you’re crazy!”

Blaine once again punched Sebastian, this time aiming for his nose instead of his jaw. Sebastian felt the blood drip down into his mouth, which was hanging open from shock. He tried to escape Blaine’s grip, but he was too strong, and it didn’t help that Sebastian’s eyes were watering. _I can't see what he's doing to me._

“What are you gonna do, huh?” Sebastian spat out. “Beat me up? _Kill_ me? It won’t make Kurt take you back!”

“Shut up!” Blaine yelled, slamming his fist into Sebastian’s face, this time splitting his lip open.

“Oh, God,” Sebastian moaned, wishing that he had his arms free so he could tend to it somehow. 

“Maybe that’ll teach you to keep away from what’s mine,” Blaine threatened as he finally released Sebastian. 

“He’s not yours,” Sebastian hissed as he felt his face. He could feel the constant throbbing. 

Blaine grunted as he left the room. Sebastian slid down his bedroom wall, in too much pain to do anything about it.

* * *

With just enough energy, 2 hours later Sebastian picked himself up off the floor and went into his bathroom.

“Dear God,” he muttered as he stared at his reflection. He had a dark purple bruise surrounding his jaw, upper lip, and nose. His lip was split open, and his nose was probably broken, but they had all stopped bleeding at least. He dared to touch it, and hissed as he did, instantly retracting his hand. 

He sighed and turned the tap on, cupping water in his hands and splashing it over his face. Once most of the blood was gone, he dried his face and ran downstairs. 

Passing by the living room, he heard his mom yell, “Did you have fun with your friend?”

 _So that’s how he got in_ , Sebastian thought. “Sure.” His mom really had to stop letting strangers into the house. 

He entered the kitchen and grabbed a handful of ice out of the freezer and carelessly shoved it into a towel. Going to the doctor would require explaining what happened to his parents, and he would rather treat the injuries himself than do that. 

As he held the ice-towel to his face, he scrolled through his phone, wondering if he should tell anyone what happened. It only took a second of thinking for him to come to the conclusion not to.

* * *

On Wednesday, Kurt was in a daze all through school. Sebastian wasn’t there, and it felt like a part of him was missing. He hadn’t relied on someone this much since Blaine. 

Oh, God, _Blaine_. He seemed to take Sebastian’s absence as a sign that he should spend every minute of the day by Kurt’s side. And the worst part? Kurt couldn't stop him- Blaine just wouldn't leave no matter how much Kurt begged.

It was early that morning, Kurt standing at his locker alone when Blaine approached him.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Kurt replied, crossing his arms. He never condoned violence, but right now he wanted to punch Blaine so hard.

“Can we talk?”

“We are.”

“I mean,” Blaine shuffled his feet, “in _private_.”

Kurt knew- or at least, thought that he knew- what private meant, so he shook his head. “Whatever you have to say, you can say it here. With witnesses.”

“Fair enough. I want us to be friends.”

“Friends?” It took all his self-control for Kurt not to laugh.

“I know that I got a little ahead of myself by asking for us to get back together, and maybe it won’t ever happen, but I miss you. We were best friends before we got together, and I don’t know what to do without you.”

Kurt pondered this for a minute. He had to admit, part of him missed Blaine too. But it was so terrifying being with him. But as long as they weren’t _together_ together, and maybe if they were on good terms, Kurt may be able to make sure Blaine doesn't hurt anyone else… “Okay.”

“Okay? We can be friends?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Thank you,” Blaine leaned in and stretched his arms out, going in for a hug. Instead, Kurt met him halfway and awkwardly shook his hand. 

“Uh, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Kurt said, shutting his locker and hurrying away.

* * *

They spend the entire lunch hour together, sitting outside in the chilly January air (look at me being descriptive). Kurt had tried to sit with the group, hating the idea of _ever_ being alone with Blaine, but Blaine had gone on and on about how much the rest of the New Directions made him uncomfortable, and Kurt made him calm. And a calm Blaine was a good Blaine. They spent the first 20 minutes catching up, from Blaine’s brother Cooper visiting to Kurt’s short-lasting relationship with Puck.

“I’m sorry, you know,” Blaine suddenly confessed. “For all of the crap I did to you.”

“Yeah,” Kurt murmured. “It wasn’t great.”

“I mean I think back to it, and I’m like, ‘Why did I do it?’ It seems so unlike me, you know.”

“I- It really was quite a shock. You just suddenly went from being the nicest guy ever, the guy who _helped_ me escape abuse… to being the guy _who_ abused me. What happened to you, Blaine?”

Blaine shrugged helplessly. “I’ve always had anger issues, and it gets worse when I don’t get what I want. And I just really wanted to be with you, but you wouldn’t let me. I’m sorry.”

“So, it’s my fault?” Kurt snaps.

“No, no.” Blaine leaned forward and placed his hand on top of Kurt’s. “It’s my fault, and I’m getting help for it, okay? Please, don’t blame yourself.”

“Okay." Kurt looked from Blaine’s hand to Blaine’s face, and suddenly, it was like he was a junior at Dalton again. It was just him and Blaine against the world. 

So maybe that was why he didn’t stop Blaine from leaning in closer. And why he didn’t stop Blaine from connecting their lips. And why he didn’t stop Blaine from sliding his tongue into his mouth.

Or maybe it was because he was scared of what would happen if he _did_ stop him.

It was nice at first, it felt familiar, just like he hoped it would. Blaine had always been a decent kisser for the most part, of course, he only got better after he started cheating.

 _Oh_ , Kurt thought. And all too quickly the memories came flooding back. He remembered what kissing led to, and the fear that came with it. He remembered how _angry_ Blaine could get if he refused. Just the feeling of Blaine's hand on the back of his head was enough for Kurt to snap out of it and push Blaine away.

“Kurt,” Blaine moaned, leaning back in. 

“No, Blaine,” Kurt said.

“What?” His tone was enough to send shivers down Kurt’s spine. 

“Don't get mad. I just don't want you to kiss me.”

“How can I not be mad? You _led me on_.”

“How did I lead you on? You kissed me.”

“You didn’t stop me.”

“Wel, I am now. So don't kiss me again.”

Blaine sighed and slammed his hand on the table. “I’ll never understand you. I’ve been perfectly reasonable, and you _still_ won’t take me back?”

“I don’t want you back, Blaine. There’s just no way that I can see past everything you’ve done,” Kurt explained. "So just _stop_ because it's so annoying."

“Just go away, Kurt. Before I do something we’ll both regret.” Blaine squinted his eyes and jeered. 

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "Why do I always have to do what you want? You have no right to be angry at me. Idon't want you to kiss me, that's _my_ choice. I'm not listening to you anymore. I'm leaving because I want to leave. Not because I'm afraid of you, because I'm done being scared. You can't hurt me."

* * *

Kurt knocked on Sebastian’s door. He was driving home when he decided to check on his friend as Sebastian hadn’t been answering his texts. After quickly informing Finn of where he was going, he turned his car around and drove to Westerville. 

Sebastian’s mom had let him straight into the house with a smile. She wasn’t even aware of the fact that Sebastian hadn’t gone to school.

Kurt nodded politely at her and went up the stairs, somewhat familiar with the layout of the Smythe’s house at this point. 

He waited patiently for Sebastian to answer his knock, but after 2 minutes, he realised there wasn’t going to be one. 

“Sebastian?” he said softly, pressing his ear up to the door. He heard rustling.

“ _Go away, Kurt._ ”

Kurt was stunned by the vicious response. It was so unlike Sebastian to talk to him like that. “What’s going on, Bas?” he responded.

“ _I don’t want to talk to you. Leave me alone._ ”

“We promised to always be honest with each other, Sebastian. Don’t do this, please.” Kurt rested his head against the door, feeling overwhelmed. “Blaine kissed me today.”

Silence, then, “ _What did you do?_ ”

“I let him.”

“ _Well I hope you two are very happy together_ ,” Sebastian- if Kurt sensed his tone right- snapped.

“We’re not together, Seb,” Kurt told him. “I don’t want to be with him. I… I want to be with,” _with you_. “I don’t want to be with him. Can you _please_ let me in?”

“ _Just please leave me alone_ ,” Sebastian repeated. 

“Did I do something?” They hadn’t talked since Blaine’s little serenation in Glee yesterday. And knowing about Sebastian’s crush on him, Kurt wondered if that was what Sebastian was mad about. But Kurt had already cleared up that they weren't together… 

“ _You didn’t do anything, Kurt._ ”

“Blaine?”

Silence.

“What did Blaine do?”

Slowly, the door creaked open, revealing Sebastian’s face. Sebastian’s _very_ _bruised_ face.

“Oh my God!” From Sebastian’s darkly bruised jaw to his busted nose, to his split lip, Kurt got more and more horrified looking at each injury. “Did Blaine..?” 

“He came over yesterday,” Sebastian said, “and beat the hell out of me. He kept on saying that I’m the reason you won’t take him back and I have to learn to not take what’s his. Which isn’t true, because you aren’t his.”

“I am so sorry,” Kurt exclaimed, lightly tracing his hand along the bruising. 

“Don’t apologise. It’s not your fault.” Sebastian sounded so exhausted that it broke Kurt’s heart. 

“Is this why you weren’t in school?”

“Yeah. It really hurts.”

“I’m so sorry,” Kurt hushed.

“It’s not your fault,” Sebastian repeated. "Why didn't you take him back?"

“I don’t want him.” Kurt swallowed harshly. “I want you.”

“You… You want me?” Sebastian felt his heartbeat quicken.

“Yeah. But first, I need to make sure you’re okay,” Kurt once again looked over the bruising. “I don’t think you treated this right, come on.” He took Sebastian’s hand and led him into the bathroom, but the entire time, Sebastian had only one thought in his head:

_I want you._


	28. Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt decides to move on from Blaine for good.

It was the step that Kurt had never dared to take. 

Throwing out all of Blaine’s stuff just seemed like admitting that things were truly over, which at that moment, was all Kurt wanted to do. He had quickly realised after the kiss that things had to end between them for good, and the quicker he could move on, the better.

He started with pictures, removing the photos from the frames because they were expensive. Then he moved onto the birthday and Christmas cards, mementoes, and clothes. As he tried on the pure white pea coat, he found it to still be too big, just like it had been the first time he had tried it on months ago. In a way, it reminded him of his relationship with Blaine. No matter how much they tried, they would never be a perfect fit.

He folded it neatly and placed it into the metal box on his bed and locked it, sliding the key into his pocket. 

He picked it up, staggering slightly at the weight of it, and carried it downstairs. Placing it on the kitchen table, Kurt looked around the room. Earlier that night, Finn had had Puck over, and the two of them had drunk quite a few beers. He sighed at the mess and grabbed the bottles off of the table, finding 3 of the bottles to still be half full. Shrugging, he tilted one of the bottles up and took a sip, coughing at the bitter taste. How his dad used to be able to drink one in mere minutes he would never understand.

He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Ugh,” he muttered, spitting in the sink. “Disgusting.” He called Sebastian. “Hey, Seb,” he said. “Where are you?”

“ _Uh, home?_ ”

“Can you meet me? I need your help.”

“ _Yeah, of course. Where are you?_ ”

“I’m at home now, but I’m gonna meet you outside of this forest near my house. It’s about 20 minutes away, I’ll send you the directions. Is that okay?”

“ _Yeah, sure, just text me. I’ll see you in a few hours._ ”

“Okay. Can you fetch a shovel, please? I only have one.”

“ _Sure._ ”

“Thanks, bye!” Kurt hugged his phone to his chest as he felt the butterflies fluttering in his stomach. “God, what have you done to me, Smythe?”

* * *

Sebastian waited patiently in his car for Kurt to show up. He was parked at the side of the road, the forest staring back at him. He was sure that in daylight the forest would be beautiful, but at night, in the darkness, it looked like the opening scene of a low budget horror movie.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he nearly jumped out of his skin when Kurt knocked on the window.

“Hey, Sebastian,” Kurt said, a grin on his face.

“Are you okay?” Sebastian questioned.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“So, what are we doing here?”

“We’re burying Blaine!” 

“What?” Sebastian opened his door and looked at the duffle bag Kurt was carrying. “Is Blaine’s body in there? Did you _kill_ him?!”

“No!” Kurt let out a high pitched laugh. “Let me rephrase that, we’re getting rid of Blaine’s things. Clean break!” 

“Oh,” Sebastian had to admit he wasn’t that relieved to know that Kurt hadn’t gone on a homicidal rage and killed his ex. “Okay, so, let’s go?”

“Yup!” Kurt reached out and took Sebastian’s free hand, the one that wasn’t holding a shovel. 

Kurt led Sebastian into the forest, the couple stepping over logs and fallen branches. Sebastian had to help steady Kurt a few times as he regularly tripped over nothing and everything. 

Just when Sebastian was beginning to think that they would never stop walking, Kurt threw himself onto the ground and zipped open his duffel bag, pulling out a shovel, bottle of water, and a metal box. 

“What’s in the box?” Sebastian asked.

“Things that Blainey Days got me," Kurt said, rolling his eyes at the nickname.

“Ah, so, you’re getting rid of it?”

“Yup. I don’t want anything to do with him anymore.”

Sebastian smiled. “What caused this then? I figured you’d have thrown this stuff out by now.”

“I don’t know,” Kurt shrugged as he clumsily attempted to start digging, “I guess part of me thought he was worth remembering. But he crossed a line.”

“What line?”

Kurt stared at Sebastian like he was clueless. “Hurting you.”

“Oh.” Sebastian smiled to himself as he sat down beside Kurt and started digging. 

Kurt grabbed the bottle of water and took a long sip and sighed happily after. “Better than beer,” he said.

Sebastian chuckled, “Why do you drink if you don’t like it?”

“I like the feeling it gives me.”

“How deep do you want this?”

“I don’t want it to be easy to get to, or for anyone else to find it.”

“Okay.”

“How’s your face?” Kurt asked, gesturing towards Sebastian’s bruises.

“Doing better, actually. It doesn’t hurt as much, and I think after a few more days it’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” Kurt looked at Sebastian through his lashes. “I’m sorry, too.”

“Kurt, stop."

Kurt set his shovel down and leaned over, wrapping Sebastian in a hug. “Just let me be sorry.”

Sebastian hugged him back. “Alright.”

“I think it’s deep enough. Do you think it’ll fit?”

"Sure."

Kurt carefully picked up the box and placed it in the hole. “So long, Blaine.”

“I’m proud of you,” Sebastian said as he began to shovel the dirt on top of the box. 

“I’m proud of me too.”

Sebastian softly shook his head fondly and tapped the dirt, the box buried way under. “So, why’d you have to bury it here?”

“I thought that if I put it in the trash or something I’d break down and take it back out. I wanted a more permanent solution but I didn’t want to start a fire.”

“Don’t you think you’ll be able to get it out here?”

“Nope. I have no idea where we are,” Kurt chirped.

Sebastian chuckled nervously. “Well, you know how to get out of here, right?”

“No.”

“Kurt!”

“What?” Kurt glanced up at Sebastian with innocent eyes.

“How are we supposed to get out?”

“I thought you knew.”

“How would I know?!”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” Sebastian ran his hand through his hair, “I mean, we’re not too far away from the car, right? What direction do we walk back in?”

“That one.” Kurt pointed straight ahead.

“Are you sure? I think we might have turned around a bit or something… God, Kurt. We’re lost, aren’t we?”

“No! It’s you and me, we can do this.” Kurt jumped off the ground and grabbed Sebastian’s hand. “We can do anything, okay? As long as we have each other.”

Sebastian nodded. “We can. Grab your things, let’s go.”

Kurt picked up his and Sebastian’s shovel, placing them both carefully in the duffel bag, then swung the bag over his shoulder.

“How much battery has your phone got?” Sebastian asked.

“Uh, 30%.”

“I’ve got 79%,” Sebastian replied, “we’ll use mine first.”

“Use it for what?”

“Flashlight.”

Kurt couldn’t help but hold Sebastian closer. It was pitch black outside now, and he could only see the small puddle of light ahead of him. 

“I’m scared,” Kurt whispered.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. We’ll get out of here, I swear.”

“‘Kay,” Kurt replied, “I’ve got you too.”

“Sure you have.” Sebastian chuckled softly. “You can barely manage yourself.”

Kurt shifted himself so he was instead standing beside Sebastian, but he never let go of his hand. 

“Tell me a story,” Kurt murmured.

“What about?”

“I don’t know, surprise me.”

“Okay.” Sebastian exhaled sharply, his mind working. After a few seconds, he said, “Once upon a time, there was this boy who lived in Paris.”

“I like Paris.”

“I know you do.” Sebastian smiled fondly. 

“What was his name?”

“He, uh, doesn’t have a name.”

“Why?”

“Because… he just doesn’t, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Anyway,” Sebastian continued, “he had lived in Paris his whole life. Every time he wanted anything, no matter what it was, he would have it handed to him.”

“So he was spoiled,” Kurt observed.

“To put it bluntly, yeah, he was. But he didn’t realise it until much later on. So, he was spoiled, but there was one thing he was missing.”

“What’s that?”

“Love. But the boy mistook love for attention.”

“Oh.”

“His parents never loved him, or the way he saw it, gave him attention. But one day, he overheard his parents arguing.”

“What were they arguing about?”

“The boy's mother was sleeping around because his father didn’t pay her attention. The boy heard this and got it in his head that if he started to sleep around, his parents would become concerned and would finally notice him.”

“What happened?”

“He snuck out of the house one night- very noticeably, if I may add- with some older friends of his. They went to a bar, and he hit it off with a bunch of guys. He went into the bathroom with one of them and had sex with him.”

“Oh.”

“He did that a couple of times a week,” Sebastian continued, “until eventually, he messed up. It turned out that one of the guys was already in a relationship.”

Kurt turned his head at this, “What happened?”

“He got punched in the face.”

Kurt let a giggle escape but quickly recollected himself. “Was he okay?”

“Physically, yes. Emotionally, no. It was by that reaction that he came to an awful conclusion: if he continued to do this, if he became a homewrecker, he would get attention from so many people.”

“That’s terrible.”

“I know, but he didn’t know any better. He just needed to be noticed by someone, even if he got hurt, even if he ruined people’s lives. Because to me, there was nothing better than seeing the heartbreak in people’s eyes and knowing that he was responsible. Because it just meant that he mattered someone, even if it was for the worst reasons possible.”

Sebastian felt Kurt tense up beside him. “What happened after that?”

“The boy kept doing it. In fact, he would go out of his way to make himself known. He would stay in his lover’s bed until the guy’s partner came home, or he would leave evidence behind, or he would tell others about it. A few times, he would take his lover’s phone and text their partner, telling them about it.”

“Does the boy still do it?” Kurt asked, his voice strangely tight.

“No. One day, his mom told him that he was moving away from France, that they could all have a fresh start. That made him realise that things could change for him. It didn’t stop his promiscuous behaviour- at least, not straight away. But he decided to stop ruining people’s relationships just because life wasn’t the best for him.”

“And?”

“And he stuck to that rule, at least, he tried to.”

“What do you mean he didn’t stop sleeping around ‘straight away?’” Kurt inquired.

“The boy was talking to one of his former conquests when the most beautiful guy he had ever seen approached the table. He had eyes like the ocean and a fashion taste that was somehow both questionable and stunning. They shook hands, and sparks flew. At least, they did for him. And after that day, he knew there was no one else he wanted.”

“How is the boy doing now?”

Sebastian considered his answer for a few seconds. “He’s better, happier. He doesn’t treat people like they don’t matter anymore. He misses France every day, but he wouldn’t trade the life he has now for anything.”

“That’s good. I want him to be happy.”

“Really?”

Kurt gave Sebastian’s hand a squeeze. “Of course. The boy is you, isn’t he?”

Sebastian felt a blush take over his face. “How’d you know?”

“You used first person instead of third in one of your sentences.”

“Crap.”

“So, you used to be that way?” 

“Yeah,” Sebastian admitted shamefully. “I’m not proud of it, nor will I ever be, but my past made me who I am today, and I’m grateful that I changed for the better.”

“I am too. What would old-you have been like with me?”

Sebastian chuckled. “I don’t know. Probably would have insulted your clothing and… basically everything about you.”

“Thank God you changed.”

“I don’t know, it probably would have made an amazing enemies-to-lovers story-“ Sebastian stopped himself as he realised that he had just made a hypothetical relationship about the two to them. But Kurt wasn’t running for the hills, nor was he looking at Sebastian like he was crazy. In fact, Kurt’s expression seemed like he… was happy about the statement.

So, why not take a chance? After all, Kurt had said that he wanted him. What did he have to lose?

He tightened his grip on Kurt’s hand as he saw the streetlights near. 

“I think we’re almost out,” Sebastian said to Kurt. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed; he had been enjoying the alone time with Kurt.

“I knew you’d do it,” Kurt sighed fondly.

Sebastian let a smile take over his face. All he’d done was walk back the way they’d come, but he could never get tired of hearing Kurt praise him.

Sebastian stepped over a log and helped Kurt do the same. He recognised his car and sighed in relief.

“So, Blaine’s completely out of the picture?” Sebastian asked, resting against his car. 

“Yup!”

“And you’ve moved on?”

“Yeah.”

“So, you’re ready to start dating again?”

Kurt froze. “I guess,” he muttered. “Why?”

“Look, Kurt, I’m going to be honest here; I really like you,” Sebastian confessed. “And I don’t mean as a friend, I mean that I- I really like you. I want to date you. And-“

“Seb-“

“And I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and it terrifies me every day, but then I see you and it’s like everything in the world just makes sense. I’ve never-“

“Seb-“

“Felt this way about anyone before, and I never wanted to. But when I’m with you, it’s all I ever want to feel,” Sebastian reached out and held Kurt’s hand tightly. “Kurt, you’re the most beautiful, caring, talented, annoying guy that I’ve ever met. Even with your stupid outfits which I find totally hot in a weird way, and your hair, and the fact that you are so ridiculously stubborn, I still want to be with you. And- And it would mean the world to me if you would go out with me.”

It was as if time had stopped. For so long, those words were all Kurt had dreamed of hearing. Not from Sebastian, exclusively, but in general. Just for someone to like him for who he was, not who he pretended to be. 

And it all made sense. From the start, it was supposed to be him and Sebastian. But _Sebastian_ was his best friend, and if they messed things up...

“Seb,” Kurt said gently, “I can’t…” O _h_ , Kurt thought as he saw Sebastian’s posture deflate, _that’s what heartbreak looks like_.

“I’m sorry,” he continued. "I need to think about it. It's not a definite no or yes. Just give me time.“

“You said you wanted me,” Sebastian reminded him, his voice cracking. “I don’t understand, what changed?”

“Nothing! I still do, it’s just… I need to think."

"I... I don't understand. Are you afraid?"

“I’m not afraid,” Kurt expected Sebastian to interrupt him again, but the other boy just turned around and opened his car door. “Where are you going?”

“Home, Kurt. It’s late, and I just want to forget about tonight.”

“Wait,” Kurt reached out and grabbed Sebastian’s arm, “are you mad?”

“There’s nothing to be mad about, Kurt,” Sebastian replied without turning around. Kurt couldn’t identify what emotion the other boy was feeling. “I just want to go back home.”

Kurt let his arm drop, freeing Sebastian. “Okay,” he said, his voice on the verge of breaking.

He stood there helpless as Sebastian got into his car, slamming the door a little too harshly for Kurt to feel guilt-free about what he said. He watched as Sebastian started his car, the two of them sharing a look filled with pain and unsaid feelings, before he drove away.


	29. Rewrite The Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian get ready to perform at Regionals.

By the time Friday after came around, Kurt was a nervous wreck. He and Sebastian still weren't comfortable talking as Kurt hadn't decided on his answer.

So when they were all waiting around for the rest of the show choirs to turn up for Regionals at McKinley, Kurt found himself sitting alone.

And being alone meant only one thing, he couldn’t escape Rachel. 

She slid into the empty seat beside him. “Hey, you.”

“What do you want?” he asked, not looking away from the wall he was distracting himself with.

“I want to be friends again.”

He couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped his lips.

“I’m being serious, Kurt. We were best friends before all this went down, and I miss you.”

Kurt couldn’t help but notice that her words were similar to those that Blaine had said to him about a week prior. _At least this won’t end in her kissing me_ , he thought in relief. Aloud, he said, “Rachel, what’s done is done. You can’t take back what you did-“

“Blaine made me-“

“Did he? Tell me, Rachel. Did he threaten you? Force you to run against me and say all those things?” 

Rachel shook her head slowly.

“Then he didn’t make you. You had every right to say no, but you didn’t. It was your choice, you made the mistake, now you have to face the consequences.”

“Look, I won’t hang out with Blaine anymore!” Rachel attempted, putting a hand on Kurt’s shoulder to stop him from moving. 

“You think this is about yours and Blaine’s friendship?” Kurt laughed again. “God, Rachel. I couldn’t care less who you were friends with. I care about the fact that you embarrassed me and stabbed me in the back.”

“I’m sorry,” Rachel muttered. “What else do you expect me to do?” She started to tear up, but Finn had taught Kurt well. He recognised which type of crying it was- the fake one she used when she wanted something.

“We all make mistakes,” Kurt said, his gaze turning to Sebastian, who was laughing at something Nick had said. “But sometimes mistakes can’t be forgiven, and we have to live with that.”

Rachel saw where he was looking and caught on. “What happened between you and Sebastian?”

“Nothing that I want to share with you,” Kurt spat.

* * *

An hour later, Kurt and Sebastian were standing outside of the entrance into the auditorium. They could hear Mercedes faintly finishing her solo, their cue nearing to begin their duet.

“Sebastian,” Kurt said, his voice low. “After our performance, I think we should talk. Okay?”

Sebastian cleared his throat, about to reply, when the music began playing. He opened the curtains and walked out.

“ _You know I want you, it's not a secret I try to hide. I know you want me, so don't keep saying our hands are tied_ ,” Sebastian sang, and Kurt was instantly drawn in by his beautiful voice. 

He waited behind the curtain as Sebastian kept singing. 

“ _You claim it's not in the cards, and fate is pulling you miles away and out of reach from me. But you're here in my heart, so who can stop me if I decide that you're my destiny?_ ”

Kurt drew in a deep breath, thinking about how much the lyrics applied to his and Sebastian’s situation. _Can't catch a break_ , he thought bitterly. 

“ _What if we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine. Nothing could keep us apart. You'd be the one I was meant to find_ ,” Sebastian sang, his voice switching flawlessly between high and low. “ _It's up to you, and it's up to me. No one can say what we get to be. So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours, tonight._ ”

Kurt rubbed his hands together to calm his nerves before pulling the curtain back and stalking out.

“ _You think it's easy, you think I don't want to run to you. But there are mountains. And there are doors that we can't walk through_ ,” Kurt sang, walking down the stairs. His eyes met with Sebastian’s, who was standing on the opposite side, waiting for Kurt to catch up. Kurt saw a few of the audience members look shocked as they realised that it was a male/male duet. He couldn’t help but feel afraid as he sang, knowing that there was a risk of it affecting his performance. But that still didn't prevent his mind from thinking about what could go wrong; he could trip up the stairs, forget the words, miss a step in dancing. It was a lot more active than the infamous _Candles_ duet with Blaine.

“ _I know you're wondering why because we're able to be just you and me within these walls. But when we go outside you're gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all_ ,” Kurt sang as he and Sebastian both walked simultaneously down to the stage. They met in the middle, Sebastian grabbing Kurt’s hands.

Sebastian’s eyes showed both everything that he was feeling and nothing at all. 

“ _No one can rewrite the stars. How can you say you'll be mine? Everything keeps us apart. And I'm not the one you were meant to find. It's not up to you, it's not up to me, when everyone tells us what we can be. How can we rewrite the stars? Say that the world can be ours, tonight_.”

“ _All I want is to fly with you_ ,” they harmonised together. “ _All I want is to fall with you. So just give me all of you_.”

“ _It feels impossible_ ,” Kurt sang. 

“ _It's not impossible_.”

“ _Is it impossible?_ ”

“ _Say that it's possible_ ,” they sang together. “ _How do we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine? Nothing can keep us apart cause you are the one I was meant to find. It's up to you, and it's up to me. No one can say what we get to be. And why don't we rewrite the stars? Changing the world to be ours_.”

Sebastian was cupping Kurt’s face, stroking the side that was facing away from the audience with his thumb. His other hand was holding tightly onto Kurt’s, reminding Kurt of the first time they met; the handshake. Only this time, the grip was gentler. More caring than aggressive.

“ _You know I want you. It's not a secret I try to hide. But I can't have you. We're bound to break and_ ,” Kurt sang the last line so quietly that he was sure if it wasn’t for his mic, the audience wouldn’t be able to hear him, “ _my hands are tied_.”

The two of them stared at each other, desperately trying to fight the tension between them. The last thing they needed was a repeat of the Nationals kiss from last year. After a few seconds of staring, they turned around so they were facing away from the audience along with the other New Directions. 

As the lights dimmed, Kurt saw out of the corner of his eye Sebastian glance at him and smile.

* * *

“Meet me in the Spanish room in 5,” Kurt told Sebastian as they left the stage. 

“Okay,” Sebastian said, unable to keep the smile off his face. 

Kurt went inside the classroom and sat down. It was _finally_ time to think things through. And when he asked himself if he wants to date Sebastian, his mind instantly said _yes_.

He was young. Who cares if they don't work out? Kurt knows they're meant to be together, so they're going to _be together_.

Sebastian walks inside.

“You’re here,” Kurt eventually said after a few awkward seconds of silence lingered between them.

“Of course I am.”

“We need to talk.”

“I agree," Sebastian says. "First of all, I'm sorry for the way I acted. It wasn't cool at all. I should have respected your answer. Even if you would have eventually said yes, that would have been no way to start a relationship between us. I'm sorry."

Kurt smiles. "You're forgiven."

Sebastian let himself smile. “I miss you, Kurt. I miss my friend.”

“I miss my friend too.”

“So, friends?” Sebastian asked, and before he could help himself, he added, “For now, and we’ll see what the future brings.”

Yes, friends."

"Good."

"Do you think we won?” Kurt asks him.

“I think we did, but I know we definitely won in a different way.”

“What do you mean?”

“We fixed our relationship, didn’t we? And that’s the most important thing to me.”

“Yeah…” Kurt pulled back, “Sebastian?”

"Yeah?"

"I _really_ like you."

“I really like you too.” Sebastian wasn’t sure if he was reading Kurt correctly, but he took the chance anyway. “Would you… I don’t know, want to grab dinner later?” 

“Like a…” Kurt blushed deeper than he had ever before, “a date?”

“Yeah, like a date. If that's what you want.”

“I would love to, but if we win, we’re going out to Breadstix to celebrate with the others. And if we lose, we have to spend the night convincing Rachel that we didn’t lose just because she didn’t sing lead.”

Sebastian bit his lip and masked his disappointment. Maybe they just weren’t there yet.

“But,” Kurt continued, “maybe you could spend the night at my house… as my boyfriend.”

Sebastian’s eyes lit up and he took Kurt’s hand in his. “I would love that!”

“R- Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Oh my God!” Kurt squealed and threw his arms around Sebastian.

Sebastian hugged Kurt tightly. “I love to see you so happy.”

"I am happy! God, I love being happy. Maybe we should get back out there? They’ll be announcing the winner soon.”

“Yeah.” Sebastian did not want to leave. Especially not now, not when he could kiss Kurt without feeling unsure of what the reaction would be. Not when Kurt was his _boyfriend_. God, that was a scary and wonderful word. It meant so much… Maybe Sebastian would have to Google what boyfriend’s do later that night. He wanted to do everything right for Kurt, he deserved to have someone treat him like the king he is. 

“One more thing. Can we keep our relationship a secret? I’m not ashamed of you- or us- but I just want it to be an _us_ thing for a while,” Kurt asked.

“Of course.” Sebastian understood. He wanted to keep Kurt to himself too. And a night of just holding Kurt in his hands sounded like heaven to him. And besides, the longer without Blaine knowing, the more peaceful life could be for them...

“Thank you.”

Sebastian gave him a reassuring smile. “Ready to face the music?”

“More than I’ll ever be.”

* * *

The two of them walk back into the auditorium, holding hands. As they walk onto the stage, the other New Directions don’t even blink an eye at them. Sebastian nods at Kurt and squeezes his hand. It was time to find out if they had won more than each other out of this.

Kurt was so lost in the contact between them that he didn’t hear the announcements, but the next thing he knew, he was being pulled into a tight hug by Sebastian.

“We did it, Kurt, we did it!” Sebastian cheered, throwing a smug look at Blaine, who, despite their victory, looked deeply annoyed. 

Kurt could hear Rachel’s shrill voice complaining that it wasn’t possible for them to win without her solo, they must have cheated. Maybe Blaine had rubbed off on her more than she had let on. 

“Yes!” Kurt was about to hug Sebastian back when he was pulled away by someone who he quickly identified as Mercedes. They exchanged congratulations before he was dragged into a joint hug with Sam and Finn. He was passed around between members, smoothly avoiding Blaine. As much as he loved embracing his friends, he hated the fact that he was becoming farther and farther away from his boyfriend. Each person congratulated him on his duet with Sebastian, and he hoped that Sebastian was getting the same love and support as he was. Kurt made sure to credit Mercedes for her solo, despite him not exactly hearing a quality version of it. He was sure that it was beautiful nevertheless.

Kurt looked back at his partner, who looked simultaneously comfortable and uncomfortable at being in a Brittany and Santana sandwich. Sebastian smiled at Kurt and motioned for him to make his way over.

Kurt nodded and finally freed himself from Mike, shimmying his way through Trent and Rory. 

“I’m proud of you,” Kurt yelled at Sebastian, although despite his high volume, Sebastian still barely managed to hear Kurt.

“I’m proud of you too!”

“So, are you coming back to my place later?” Kurt asked, ignoring the questioning and suggestive looks from Brittany and Santana. He grabbed his boyfriend’s hand and pulled him over to the side. “Just for a sleepover, of course.” Despite the fact that it was _Sebastian_ \- the person who made him feel the most comfortable and at home, Kurt still wasn’t ready to take the next step. Maybe by graduation...

“I am,” Sebastian confirmed, “and don’t worry, I don’t expect anything. Just a night of running my hand through your hair sounds amazing.”

“Don’t you dare mess it up,” Kurt teased, and he pulled Sebastian back in for another hug. “Thank you.”

“No problem… boyfriend.”

Kurt blushed and looked down at the floor. That name sounded so right coming from Sebastian; as if it had been made just for him. As if it had been made for him to call Kurt it.


	30. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian figure out their relationship while trying to keep it a secret.

Kurt smiled sleepily and traced the outline of Sebastian’s face. After a night of celebrating the Regionals win with the New Directions, Kurt had snuck Sebastian back into his house. They hadn’t slept together, only in the same bed. As much as Kurt liked Sebastian, he wasn’t sure that he was ready to take that step.

Sebastian had fallen asleep rather quickly, apparently laying with Kurt in his arms was soothing for him. And that left Kurt awake, staring at his boyfriend (he couldn’t believe that Sebastian was his boyfriend!) and admiring his beauty. He wanted nothing more than to kiss every single one of Sebastian’s freckles to prove how cute he found them, but he and Sebastian hadn’t even had their first real kiss yet, and he wanted it to be as beautiful as possible.

The previous night had been spent at Breadstix with the rest of the club, and aside from Santana’s knowing smile, it seemed that none of the others knew about their new relationship. They wanted to keep it a secret for as long as they could since many relationships had been ruined in the past due to lack of privacy.

So, for now, Kurt would take what he could get. There may not be any romantic kisses on stage, or holding hands in the halls, or even public dates for a while, but Kurt was content with appreciating Sebastian’s beautiful sleeping face.

And most importantly- he was wearing Sebastian’s sweatshirt! He lifted the material up to his nose and smiled as the familiar scent hit him. Somehow it smelled more like Sebastian than Sebastian himself. It felt nice to be able to wear his boyfriend's hoodie. Blaine’s clothes had either been too expensive for Kurt to borrow, too small, or way too big. Meanwhile, Puck’s clothes had always been covered in some sort of strange stain that Kurt didn’t want to be near. But Sebastian? It was as if his clothes were made for Kurt’s comfort. And best of all- _it smelled just like Sebastian!_

So, that was how Kurt fell asleep. Stroking Sebastian’s cheek, his blue eyes absorbing as much detail as they could, with protective arms wrapped around his waist.

* * *

He woke up, however, hanging off of the bed with no covers supplying him with warmth. It turns out that Sebastian moves around in his sleep- a lot. He had somehow managed to kick Kurt onto the other side of the bed and then wrap the blanket around himself.

“Seb!” Kurt croaked out, shivering at the lack of heat. He crawled over the bed and shook Sebastian. “Seb? Seb, please wake up.”

“Mm?” 

“It’s Kurt. I’m cold.”

Sebastian, without opening his eyes, made an opening for Kurt to get under the covers. Kurt got under and instantly felt Sebastian wrap his arms back around him.

“Morning, babe,” Sebastian whispered into Kurt’s ear.

Kurt relaxed and snuggled further into Sebastian’s chest. He could stay like this forever.

“Good mor-“

“Dude! Kurt!” Finn burst into Kurt’s room, a panicked expression on his face. He was about to explain what had gotten him so rattled when he saw that his brother wasn’t alone. “Sebastian?”

“‘Sup, Finn,” Sebastian replied, his eyes remaining closed.

“Uh, are you guys… together?”

Kurt glanced at his boyfriend, who, at that comment, had finally decided to look at the world before him. Sebastian gave Kurt a look that said, “ _It’s up to you if we tell him or not._ ”

“Kind of,” Kurt said carefully, watching his brother's face for any sign of murderous intent. Instead, Finn just shrugged.

“Cool. I kind of figured you guys would end up together, remember?”

“We haven’t told anyone else yet, so keep it to yourself,” Kurt warned.

“Can I tell Sam?”

Kurt sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yes, you can tell Sam.”

“Are you guys coming down for breakfast?”

“Oh, food.” Sebastian sat up at this and grinned. “I’m starving.”

“Me too,” Kurt agreed. “We’ll be down in 5.”

“‘Kay.”

After Finn had left, Kurt groaned and stretched. 

“Let’s go downstairs.”

“Don’t you wanna get dressed first?” Sebastian asked.

Kurt looked down at Sebastian’s sweatshirt that he was still wearing. “No, I’m fine staying in this.”

“I’m never going to get that back, am I?” Sebastian chuckled fondly, tracing the words “ **Dalton Academy Lacrosse Team** ” that were printed on the cotton.

“Nope!”

* * *

Kurt went downstairs, missing Sebastian’s warmth. After spending all night and morning wrapped around each other, it was a little strange to be apart. Sebastian was brushing his teeth in the bathroom upstairs while Kurt checked that the house was free of visitors. It was bad enough that Finn knew. 

Kurt sighed in relief when he saw that it was only Finn and Sam who were downstairs- he still wasn’t sure of how to break the news to Carole.

“Dude,” Sam turned around to Kurt and grinned, “congrats!”

“Thanks, Sam,” Kurt winked and stole the last piece of toast from Finn’s plate. “Where’s your mom?” he asked Finn.

“She had to get to work early, she said she’ll be home for-”

“Finn?” A voice that sent shivers down Kurt’s spine shrieked. “Finn, I need to talk to you!”

“Why is Rachel here?” Kurt hissed to Finn, who merely shrugged.

Kurt was just about to run upstairs and hide out in his bedroom with Sebastian when Rachel walked in, dressed in one of her hideous sweaters that Kurt could have sworn that he burned not too long ago. Back when he and Rachel were still friends.

Just as Rachel approached the counter, Sebastian came running downstairs. “Kurt-“

“What is Sebastian doing here?” Rachel demanded, as if it was even an issue, and if it was, that it was any of her business.

“What’s it to you?” Kurt asked, crossing his arms. Sebastian looked between the two curiously.

“Are you sleeping with him?”

“No.”

“Dating him?”

Kurt glanced at Sebastian, who gave him a supportive smile. It hurt his heart to say it, but, “No.”

“Then why is he here?”

Sebastian answered for Kurt, “It’s a long drive back to Westerville, Berry. I just crashed here.”

“And besides, why he’s here is none of your business anyway, we’re not friends.”

“As true as that may be,” Rachel’s eyes glistened with tears as she said it, “this is still my boyfriend’s house, and I have the right to know who is present there.”

Kurt narrowed his eyes. Was she being serious? “No, you don’t,” Kurt scoffed and turned to Sebastian. His eyes immediately softened at the sight of his boyfriend. “Do you want breakfast?”

“I was thinking maybe we could go to this café in Westerville,” Sebastian told him, then he shifted his gaze over to Rachel. “As friends,” he clarified, but when he looked back to Kurt he winked. 

“Yes, that’d be great,” he smiled at Sebastian. “Let’s go get dressed.”

* * *

“Do you think Rachel believes that we’re still just friends?” Sebastian asked as they sat down with their coffees. They had just ordered their meal and were waiting for it to be placed down.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, she has a history of being wrong about these sorts of things, I don’t think anyone would truly believe her anyway,” Kurt replied.

“Do you feel bad about lying?”

“Kind of. We don’t owe it to anyone to tell them, and it’s not like it’s going to be a secret forever. It’s just nice, you know, just being the two of us.”

“I agree. Your friends-“

“Our friends.”

“Our friends can be a little crazy at times, and I doubt that they’d just let something like this slide.”

“Yeah, they really need to get other hobbies.”

Sebastian looked at Kurt and smiled sadly, “It’s Blaine, too, right?”

Kurt sighed, “I just- He’ll get it into his head that me moving on means that he has to ruin whatever relationship I’m in. He cornered me in the hallway and gave me a 40 minute rant when I first started dating Puck.”

“What? What did he say?”

“I don’t want to get into it, I kind of blocked it out of my memory. But,” Kurt placed his hand on top of Sebastian’s, “I just want to enjoy this time with you. We still have so much to figure out, and everyone else will just make it all kinds of confusing.”

Sebastian smiled at the contact. “What kinds of things to figure out?”

“Well, we’re graduating soon, right? Are we going to New York together?”

“I’d love to go with you. When’s your audition for NYADA?”

“I'm not sure.”

“Do you know what you’re singing?”

“I was thinking _Phantom_ , but that’s playing it safe, so I’m not sure. I considered doing _Not The Boy Next Door_ , but Rachel got in my head…”

“Well, take her out of your head. You’ll be amazing no matter what- but if you go with _The Boy From Oz_ , it better come with the gold pants.”

“Obviously,” Kurt laughed. “You’ll watch it, right?”

“I promise,” Sebastian stroked Kurt’s knuckle. He could get used to this boyfriend thing. “So, where else have you applied?”

Kurt pretended that he didn’t hear Sebastian. He didn’t want to have that conversation right now.

“Kurt?”

“Mm?”

“I asked you where else you applied to college.”

“Oh, did you?”

“Yes.” Sebastian looked at him suspiciously. “You have applied elsewhere, right?”

“I mean… I meant to…”

“Kurt!”

“What?” Kurt sighed. “You believe that I’ll get into NYADA, right?”

“Of course I do, but there are other barriers that could prevent you from going there besides being rejected. I just think that it would be smart to have a backup plan.”

Kurt nodded. “You’re right. I just don’t even know where to start looking. NYADA seemed like my theatre dream.”

“Well, you’re really talented at making clothes, right? What about a fashion major of some sorts…”

“I never even considered doing fashion,” Kurt admitted. Now that he thought about it, why hadn’t he? His outfits defined him more than his voice in some ways.

“You’d be amazing at it, trust me,” Sebastian said. He got his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Kurt. “Here, look through them. You don’t have to decide anything right now, so no pressure, but it can’t hurt to look.”

Kurt took the phone. _It’s being smart, not admitting that NYADA is over_ , he reminded himself. Some of the fashion schools looked really promising while intimidating. He saved some of the links, making a mental note to send them to his own phone later. He would probably need to take some pictures of his fiercest and most impressive outfits and use them- or maybe he could make a whole new wardrobe.

“Thanks,” Kurt said while still scrolling. “This- This means a lot.”

“Hey, no worries. The more options the better, right?” Sebastian gave Kurt the kind of smile that gave him butterflies.

“Yeah,” Kurt grinned back. “You wouldn’t mind being a model for me later, would you? I think I have a few design ideas I want to try out.”

“As long as you don’t stab me with a needle.”

“No promises.”

* * *

“My dad would have loved you.”

Sebastian looked over to Kurt with surprise. Kurt rarely ever talked about his dad, so he had to make sure he heard him right.

“What?”

“My dad,” Kurt repeated, this time looking Sebastian in the eye, “would have loved you.”

“Oh.” They were currently sitting in Kurt’s living room, as luck was finally on their side, giving them a house that was free of Sam, Finn and Rachel. Sebastian wasn’t sure what it was that made Kurt come out with the comment, it could have been the pictures on the wall, or perhaps an advert on TV advertising a repair shop. Either way, Sebastian wasn’t sure how to respond. “Thanks?”

Kurt looked at Sebastian equally confused. “You’re welcome?”

Sebastian let out a small laugh. “I mean, it’s just a random thing to say, right? What made you say it?”

“I was just thinking about Blaine-“ _How fun_ , Sebastian thought bitterly- “and how he went to my dad to give me the sex talk-“

“I’m sorry, who went to who to give you the what now?”

“It’s a long, embarrassing story on my behalf.”

“As your boyfriend, shouldn’t I know all of your long, embarrassing stories?” Sebastian looked at Kurt with the puppy eyes that he couldn’t refuse.

“At my time at Dalton, Coach Sylvester told me and Blaine that the Regional judges were looking for sexy. So, Blaine decided that the Warblers should learn how to be sexy for our performances. Anyway, one performance later, Blaine was asking me if I was okay because apparently, my sexy faces looked like I was having gas pains.” Kurt looked down into his lap, blushing. The story sounded less humiliating in his head.

Sebastian tilted Kurt’s chin up with his finger, forcing Kurt to look him in the eyes. “Hey,” Sebastian said, his voice low in a way that sent shivers down Kurt’s spine, “I think you’re sexy.”

“You do?”

“God, Kurt, like you don’t know it. Have you looked in the mirror?”

“I’ve always been told I was cute…”

“You are, and hot, and sexy, and adorable,” Sebastian whispered as he never broke eye contact with Kurt. “You’re everything good in the world.”

Kurt licked his lips and relaxed a little. “So are you.”

Sebastian smiled and moved away from Kurt. “So anyway, what does that have to do with your comment about your dad?”

“Well, after Blaine saw what my ‘sexy faces’ were, he found out that I knew nothing about sex. Which wasn’t true, I was just embarrassed and decided that that was the most logical excuse for me not knowing how to _look_ sexy. Blaine took it upon himself to go to my dad and to tell him to give me the talk. After that, my dad wasn’t too fond of Blaine. He liked him because Blaine made me happy- or at least, he _did_ make me happy. But my dad believed that Blaine crossed a line and after that… he kept his distance.”

“God, I don’t even know what to say.”

“Anyway, I started to think about how my dad never really had _the_ connection with Blaine, but if he had met you, he would have. Granted, he would have kept an eye on you since you’re my boyfriend, but he would have loved you. You would have bonded greatly.”

Sebastian chuckled fondly, “You think so?”

“Oh, I know so.”

Sebastian looked over at the picture on the mantel. It was a younger Burt with a young Kurt, and the two of them looked so happy together. Sebastian smiled sadly, wishing that he could have met Burt Hummel. The Glee kids always talked about the stories of him when Kurt would let them, and even Mr Shue and Coach Sylvester had some fond memories of the man. Sebastian felt like there was a huge part of Kurt’s life that he would never get to hear about. 

"Do you think you can spend the night here again?” Kurt asked.

Sebastian shrugged. “Probably. My parents are away for work anyway so they won’t notice I’m gone.”

“What does your mom do for a living? I know your dad works for Blaine’s dad.”

“She’s a model,” Sebastian replied casually. “At least, she was in Paris. Now she works mostly from home, occasionally going out to ‘professionally shop’, but she mostly works on magazines.”

“That’s amazing. I can see why; she is beautiful.”

“True. Also, will Carole mind me staying again? I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“Nonsense.” Kurt laughed a little. “You’re always welcome here, Carole loves you. I’m thinking that we should tell her we’re dating, too.”

“You know, after what you said about your dad, will she still like me if we tell her that? She’s really nice and I can’t imagine her being mean to me.”

“Carole’s lovely no matter what. She welcomed Blaine and Puck with open arms, I can't see her being any different with you.”

“Good, because I definitely want to sleep with you in my arms again.”

“Until you shove me off the bed again.” Kurt snickered.

“Did I do that?” Sebastian asked, an innocent expression on his face.

“Nearly,” Kurt said. “If we live together in New York we will definitely need a king-size bed and 2 blankets.”

“Live together in New York?”

“Hypothetically,” Kurt said quickly, unsure of whether he had freaked Sebastian out by the comment. “I mean, we would still need to figure a lot out as living together may not be the best idea. Especially since it's a new city for the two of us, and who knows what it could change-”

“Kurt,” Sebastian interrupted. “I would love to live in New York with you. Maybe not right away because, as you said, we need to be smart. But someday I would love to live with you.”

“And I would love to live with you,” Kurt replied.

“Yeah, babe, we already covered that.”

“Shh.” Kurt kissed Sebastian’s cheek. “What are your views on marriage?”

“Slow down.” Sebastian chuckled. “First living together, now marriage? What’s next, kids?”

“Well, I _have_ always loved the name-”

“No, no, no.”

“I’m kidding, Seb.” Kurt grinned. “But I’m being serious about the marriage question.”

“I don’t know. I never even considered myself a _boyfriend_ kind of guy up until last night. But marriage seems cool, I guess. Though if we ever get married, Brittany has already planned a double wedding with her and Santana.”

“Oh, God. Somehow my wedding has already been ruined and I’m not even _engaged_ yet!” Kurt exclaimed, but he couldn’t contain his laughter.

“For some strange, unexplainable reason, I have the feeling that you have a secret book hidden under your bed that is filled with wedding designs.”

“Absolutely not,” Kurt denied. “And on a completely unrelated note, I need 184 pictures of your face, ranging in all sizes.”

“Done.” Sebastian leaned his head on Kurt’s shoulder. “For real, though. Marriage doesn’t really sound so scary anymore.”

“It did before?”

“My parents aren’t really a shining example.”

Kurt intertwined his fingers with Sebastian’s. “Well, I guess you’ll just have to set a better example for your kids.”

“Ah, here we go with the kid talk again.”


	31. Two Warm Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens ig nothing too interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Becky, for naming this chapter  
> Kinda forgot that I killed Burt off so Carole in this chapter was meant to be Burt so if it seems awkward that's why <3

A couple of hours later, Carole arrived home from work, greeting Kurt and Sebastian with a smile. She didn’t blink an eye at the fact that Kurt and Sebastian were tangled up in each other, cuddling as if they couldn’t bear to part, so Kurt assumed that it would be no big deal that the two of them were dating.

As Carole made her way into the kitchen, Kurt removed himself from Sebastian, earning a whine from the other male. 

“I’ll be right back,” Kurt promised and followed his step-mother into the kitchen. “Hey, Carole.”

“Hello, sweetie,” she replied. “Do you need anything?”

“I was just wondering if Sebastian could stay for dinner?”

“Of course, he’s always welcome.”

“Okay, great, thank you.” Kurt was about to go back into his boyfriend before he added, “Could he stay the night, too?”

This was what Carole raised her eyebrow at. “That depends, are you two more than friends?”

Kurt nodded his head shyly. “Kind of…”

Carole hesitated a little before saying, “Well, you’re both 18, so as long as Sebastian’s parents are okay with it, I guess so.”

Kurt smiled warmly. “They are,” he said, remembering Sebastian’s earlier comment about his parents being away.

“Okay, then. Is he okay with having casserole for dinner?”

Kurt stuck his head into the living room and yelled, “Seb, casserole good?” 

“Yeah!”

“Yeah, casserole's good,” Kurt told her and made his way back into his boyfriend. He wrapped his arms back around Sebastian and rested his head in the crook of Sebastian’s neck. 

“How long do you think we’ll have until Finn and Sam get home?” Sebastian asked, stroking Kurt’s back.

“Hmm, I’d probably say about a half-hour?”

“Do you want to go upstairs then? I don’t really feel like being walked in on.”

Kurt gave Sebastian a sceptical look- was he insinuating sex?

“Just so we can cuddle,” Sebastian clarified. “Nothing else; not until you’re ready.”

Kurt nodded and took Sebastian’s hand, leading him upstairs to his bedroom. They both laid down on the bed, taking the same position they had almost always been in recently, with Sebastian spooning Kurt.

“What flavour is your shampoo?” Sebastian asked, sniffing Kurt’s hair.

“Coconut, why?”

“It’s really nice.” Sebastian ran his fingers through it. “Could I borrow some sometime?”

“You want to use my shampoo?” Kurt laughed softly. “It’s in my bathroom if you want to get a shower later since you’ll be staying over again.”

“Mm, that sounds nice.”

Kurt readjusted himself so that he was facing Sebastian. “Do you believe in ghosts?” 

“What?” Sebastian chuckled softly.

“Well, what are your views on the afterlife in general?”

“I don’t know, I mean, I hope that death isn’t the end, because it would kind of suck to just _never_ see your loved ones again. But I don’t know, I guess it’s just a wait-and-see, really. Unless I’m immortal, since that’s always a possibility,” Sebastian answered. 

“That’s interesting. Anything you want to know about me?”

“Who do you look up to the most in the world?”

“I’d say my dad since he’s always supported me no matter what and I admire that. He was my hero and protected me.”

Sebastian smiled. He hadn’t expected any other answer.

“If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would it be?” Kurt inquired.

“Hmm, I’m not sure. I miss Paris so much, but New York is somewhere fresh and exciting. My final answer is cheesy, but wherever you are.”

Kurt blushed and grinned like an idiot. “That’s lovely, but you’re right: _cheesy_. But I have the same answer.”

“If you could have any career, what would it be?”

“See, I’d normally say Broadway without any hesitation, but our conversation from this morning has gotten me thinking. Would fashion be better? I’ve doubted my voice at some points in my life, but my outfits have always been something I’ve been so sure about… I don’t know.”

Sebastian stroked Kurt’s cheek. “You’ll be amazing no matter what you peruse, and I’ll always support you.”

“And I, you.” Kurt kissed Sebastian’s forehead. “If you could be doing any one thing right now- no limits whatsoever- what would it be?”

Sebastian didn’t even hesitate before answering, “This.”

“Really?”

“Yes, having you in my arms and getting to know everything that I’ve ever wondered about the mystery that is Kurt Hummel- that’s everything I’ve ever wanted in the world.”

Kurt bit his lip. “God, you’re so sappy.”

“I know. I’ve never been this way before. And I love it.”

“Okay, now ask me something.”

“Okay, okay. What’s your favourite animal?”

“Llama.”

Sebastian waited a few seconds for Kurt to explain why, but it never came. He shrugged and said, “They’re adorable, like you.” This boyfriend thing was fun for him since he could say every compliment he had ever wanted to confess to Kurt without fear of overstepping some sort of line. Plus- _he could hold Kurt in his arms! And Kurt was so warm!_

“Are you a glass-half-full or half-empty kind of person?”

Sebastian had to think for a minute. “A bit of both, I guess. It depends on the situation. In some cases, I’m a total optimist and want to see the best out of a situation, like how I hoped I would end up with you. Whereas occasionally, I can only see bad things coming, like when I think of my parents.”

Kurt nodded in understanding. As of recently, he was becoming more of an optimist, instead of his usual pessimist self. And he wouldn’t for a second believe that Sebastian hadn’t had some sort of play in that. 

Sebastian had just opened his mouth to ask Kurt another question when Carole shouted upstairs, telling the couple that dinner was ready.

“Ready to go?” Kurt asked, sitting up on the bed.

“Mhm, I’m starving,” Sebastian replied. 

Kurt took his hand and walked downstairs with Sebastian. They were about to sit next to each other at the table when Carole took the seat beside Kurt. Sebastian had no other option but to sit diagonally across from Kurt, as Finn and Sam had taken the other seats. Kurt gave Sebastian a small smile and shrugged apologetically. 

Carole passed out the plates and then turned to Sebastian. “So, Sebastian, what do you plan to do once you leave McKinley? You are graduating, right? What are your grades like?”

“Oh, um,” Sebastian looked at Kurt for help but his boyfriend gave him nothing, “I- I’m going to NYU, and yes, I’m graduating. My grades are really high…” he trailed off awkwardly.

“We’re going to New York together, actually,” Kurt piped up.

Carole made a noise in acknowledgement. “And your parents, Sebastian? I can’t recall meeting them at any point.”

“Right, uh, yeah, see-” Sebastian cleared his throat, “they’re _really_ busy, you know. I’m sure I can arrange a way for you to meet them at some point…”

“I see.”

Kurt gave his step-mother a strange look. Why was she being so invasive? She hadn’t questioned Blaine as much- she had been polite but hadn’t asked into his future. And she had _met_ Sebastian before- didn’t she know most of this stuff?

“This is really nice,” Sebastian said, his mouth still half full with the casserole. 

“I’m sure it is,” Carole said with a smile that made Kurt unsure of whether or not she had poisoned Sebastian’s meal. His boyfriend seemed to have had the same thought as he dropped his fork and stared at the table.

“So, what are your intentions with my son?”

Kurt was so put out by her asking of the question that he couldn’t even smile at the fact that Carole had called him her ‘son’. Sebastian looked so uncomfortable that it was almost funny. 

“I, well, I don’t know what the right answer is…” Sebastian admitted; a blush had completely taken over his face.

Kurt gave him a sympathetic look and mouthed ‘ _you’re doing great_ ’ to him. 

“Just be honest,” Carole said, and Sebastian relaxed a little.

“Well, um, I _really_ like him so,” Sebastian kind of wished that Finn and Sam we’re staring at him with smug looks on their faces, “I kind of want to, you know, take him out on dates and show him off and compliment him and…”

Kurt looked at Sebastian with pure love.

“...and I want to remind him how special he is and- and- and…”

“Okay,” Carole said. She had a small smile on her face as well, but she tried to hide it.

“Um, Carole, could I talk with you in the den for a minute, please?” Kurt asked, standing up from the table.

“Of course, sweetie.” She followed her step-son into the other room and looked at him curiously. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you have a problem with Sebastian?” Kurt got straight to the point.

“I just want to make sure he doesn’t hurt you,” Carole said gently. “You’re my son, and you went so long without telling me- or anyone- about what Blaine was doing to you. I have to look out for you, that’s my responsibility; to make sure that you’re safe. You’ve been through a lot already.”

“I understand,” Kurt said, touched. “But I wouldn’t think for one second that Seb would ever do- or would even be capable of doing- any of the things that Blaine has done. And I’m a lot better now, so if he ever did, I would be able to handle it. I would be able to get help. And it’s sweet that you’re looking out for me; I do really appreciate it, but as I said, Sebastian would never do that to me.”

“Okay, honey.”

“And you’re kind of giving him a _really_ hard time,” Kurt added. “Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him sweat so much in my life. If you keep this up, there’s going to be a Sebastian-shaped hole in the wall.”

Carole chuckled before pulling him into a hug. “Look after yourself, sweetheart.”

Kurt hugged before going back into the kitchen, and Carole took his seat, allowing him to sit beside Sebastian. He squeezed Sebastian’s hand under the table and received a grateful smile.

“Well, Sebastian,” Carole said, “welcome to the family.”

Sebastian sighed in relief and pulled at the collar on his shirt. “God, I’d hate to see what it’d be like if we ever got engaged.”

Kurt’s heart fluttered as it always did whenever Sebastian made a reference to the two of them having a future together. 

“Yeah,” he replied, ignoring the teasing looks from Finn and Sam. 

“You know, I was thinking about asking Rachel to marry me,” Finn said, resulting in Kurt spitting out his drink.

“No! Finn, I am not having that she-devil being related to me until I am old enough to drink!” Kurt exclaimed. 

“Hang on a minute, Kurt,” Sam said, raising a finger. “If he and Rachel get engaged, would that mean he would move in with the Berry’s?”

“Huh.” Kurt considered this. “That _would_ be nice.”

“Hey!” Finn yelled.

“ _No one is getting engaged under my roof_!” Carole said. “Especially you, Finn.”

Finn pouted and sat back in his seat, mumbling about how he’s 18 and can do what he wants. 

“Want to go upstairs?” Kurt asked, turning to his boyfriend.

“I don’t know, I kind of want to see how this will turn out,” Sebastian said, but he stood up anyway and took Kurt’s hand. The couple walked upstairs and sat side by side each other on the bed. 

“Do you want to take that shower?” Kurt asked. “Then we can get ready for bed and watch a movie?”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” Sebastian walked into the en suite. He found a fluffy towel and dropped it on the floor. 20 minutes later, Sebastian emerged from the bathroom, the towel wrapped around his waist.

Kurt looked up and gasped a little. It had been the first time he had seen Sebastian shirtless in person and… _damn_. 

“Sorry,” Sebastian said. “I just… don’t have any clothes in there-“

“Oh, right, hang on,” Kurt ran into Finn’s room and grabbed an old shirt and some sweats he was sure Finn wouldn’t mind Sebastian borrowing. He went back into his own bedroom and passed the clothing to Sebastian. “Here, I hope these are okay.”

“They are, thank you.” Sebastian went back into the bathroom and came back out a few minutes later fully clothed.

“So,” Sebastian said, sitting beside Kurt on the bed. “Do you really think Finn will propose to Rachel?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt said. “To be honest, I kind of assumed if anyone would be getting engaged in our senior year it would have been Sam.”

Sebastian nodded. “What about you?”

“Me?” Kurt laughed. “I don’t really want to get married for a long time. I just don’t really see the point in getting married so young. If you love someone, you’d be willing to wait for them. It just seems like rushing things and then what? You have nothing to look forward to. And besides, marriage doesn’t make a breakup evitable, just more complicated. And at such a young age… There's still so many things that people don’t know about each other and haven’t experienced. I’m not against marrying your teenage partner, but with Rachel and Finn… they’ve dated and broken up so many times I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened again.”

“Noted,” Sebastian said, making Kurt blush. 

“Do you want to see a beautiful view?” Kurt asked.

“I’m already looking at one,” Sebastian said, staring into Kurt’s eyes.

“Oh, you!” Kurt pushed Sebastian’s shoulder playfully and grabbed his arm. “Outside!”

“Out- what?”

Kurt smirked at him and pulled Sebastian over to the window. He slid it open then climbed out. “Join me?”

“I thought you were afraid of heights.”

“Climbing them, yes. This is just one small jump, so it’s okay.”

“Is it safe?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then okay.”

Kurt shuffled across the roof, giving access to Sebastian to climb on himself. Sebastian did and moved next to Kurt.

“So, what vi-“ Sebastian cut himself off, noticing the sunset in the distance. He took a deep breath and took Kurt’s hand.

“Like it?” Kurt asked with a smirk.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful. Thank you for showing me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“How often do you come up here? I’m not too fond of the idea of you falling and injuring yourself.”

“Not too often, just sometimes I need fresh air and I can’t go out of the front door. And one time I had to climb out in the middle of the night, but that’s a bad story.”

Sebastian nodded. He scooted a little closer to Kurt and rested his head on his shoulder. 

“Tired?” Kurt teased.

“Little bit.”

“You can go to sleep if you want to.”

“How do I know you’ll still be here when I wake up?” Sebastian mumbled.

“What do you mean? Of course I’ll be here.”

“I still kind of feel like this is a dream. You’re really mine.”

“I am yours, Seb. And this isn’t a dream, as much as it feels like one.”

“You’re mine.” Sebastian lifted his head up and shifted himself so he was looking Kurt in the eye.

Kurt felt himself blush. Sebastian was looking at him with such… desire. It made Kurt feel a way he had never felt before. He felt attractive and wanted and sexy. And that was something that Blaine had never made him feel, heck, Blaine had gone out of his way to make Kurt feel unwanted. Unless, of course, Blaine wanted to get laid. But that didn’t make Kurt feel good about himself, it made him feel used. Like a toy. 

But Sebastian? He had always complimented Kurt. Even when he was teasing Kurt about his outfits or skincare routine, Kurt never felt insulted.

And the way Sebastian was looking at him now… Kurt had never felt more attractive.

“What?” Kurt said, a small laugh taking over the tone of his voice.

“Nothing just… you’re really gorgeous,” Sebastian murmured, his voice low and husky. 

“And so are you.”

“I know I am, but I know that you’re insecure, Kurt.”

Kurt was blushing for a whole other reason now. “I’m not insecure,” he said. “Do you not hear me talk myself up all the time? About my clothes and my voice and my hair-“

“I do, and I also see the truth in your face when you say it. You don’t believe anything you say, nor do you believe anything anyone else says. But I’m going to help you believe it.”

“How?” Kurt asked, both interested and slightly afraid of the answer.

“Well, to start off, by doing this.” Sebastian tilted Kurt’s chin up with his finger and stared into the enchanting blue eyes.

Kurt gulped. _Is he going to kiss me? h_ e thought. 

Sebastian smirked slightly, but it comforted Kurt.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for forever,” Sebastian whispered, and at long last, he connected their lips. 

Kurt relaxed into it instantly. Somehow, it just felt _right_. He had never felt this way about anything before- not with Blaine, or Puck, or Brittany, or Karofsky. The kisses with Blaine felt intrusive. With Puck, they felt heated and meaningless. With Brittany, it was as if he was trying to convince himself they were nice, but it just felt like he was lying to himself. And Karofsky… it felt as if all of the hatred in the world was being pushed on his lips.

But Sebastian? It was sweet and full of love and care. It was warm and fuzzy. And just _right_.


	32. Secrets Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian try to keep their relationship a secret, but Rachel isn't willing to let that happen.

As it turned out, keeping their relationship a secret was a lot harder than Kurt and Sebastian anticipated. For starters, they could barely keep their hands off of each other.

A full weekend of cuddling and holding each other's hand had made Monday even more dreadful, as they had to pretend that they wouldn’t each sell their souls just to kiss in the school hallway. 

By the time the couple had to go to French, they were severely touch-starved from one another. As they were waiting outside of the classroom, Sebastian tapped Kurt on the shoulder.

“Hey, do you remember that time you skipped class to go have sex with Puck?”

“I did not have _sex with him_ ,” Kurt clarified; his voice low to prevent others from overhearing. His face flushed a deep red, and it seemed as if Sebastian had noticed.

“Huh, from the look on your face, you’d think that you’d never had-” Sebastian gasped slightly when Kurt looked down. “Are you a _virgin_?”

“God, can you say it any louder?!”

“Sorry. But I thought that you and Puck…”

“We _were_ going to, but then I thought he said that he loved me, and you know the rest,” Kurt admitted sheepishly. “So, yes, I am a blushing virgin.”

Sebastian gave him a small smile. “Okay.”

“Okay? You aren’t going to make fun of me, or freak out?” Kurt eyed his boyfriend suspiciously. 

“No, it’s not that much of a shock. I kind of wish that I was still a virgin so my first time could be with you. But at least I can make sure that yours is really special-” Sebastian cut himself off. “Not that I’m assuming anything, of course. You don’t have to with me, ever-”

“Seb.” Kurt chuckled. Sebastian was so cute when he was panicking, but Kurt would try his best to not let his boyfriend worry about anything. “It’s okay, I do want to. I’m just not ready yet.” He reached out and squeezed his boyfriend’s hand. “Why did you bring up Puck and I, anyway?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to skip with me, that's all. I kind of miss kissing you… and touching you.”

“I do, too. But it’ll be a little bit suspicious if we’re both gone at the same time.”

Sebastian pouted adorably but quickly went back to his default smirk. “Fine, but I have to go home after school, so we won’t be able to be _us_ until later in the week.”

“What?” Kurt whined. “I wish you could live with me. I need to be in your arms, like, _all the time_.”

“Me too, but we’ll be in New York in just a few months, and we can spend every night together then.”

* * *

The couple sat together in French, trying their hardest to concentrate. It didn’t help that every few minutes, Sebastian would glance at Kurt and would throw him a wink and a smirk. And when they would be given something to note down, Sebastian would instead write about how hot he thinks Kurt looked, or how talented he found his voice, making Kurt blush. 

Sebastian had stuck to his word, trying to help Kurt overcome his insecurities. It had started with the kiss, which had been beautiful and thrilling, and later in the night, Sebastian had whispered about how sexy and gorgeous Kurt was, and how he was incredibly talented.

And little by little, Kurt was starting to believe it.

Once again, Sebastian nudged Kurt’s elbow, making the countertenor glance at him. Sebastian fluttered his eyelashes and gave Kurt a coy smile. 

“Stop it, you,” Kurt hissed, but he couldn’t keep the fondness out of his voice.

“Yeah, make me,” Sebastian teased.

“Maybe I will.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Sebastian licked his lips while maintaining eye contact with Kurt.

“Seb!” Kurt whined. 

“We wouldn’t be having this issue if you had skipped class with me,” Sebastian said, but he gave Kurt a genuine smile and went back to doing his work.

“You’re impossible.”

* * *

By the time Glee came around, Kurt wasn’t sure if his secret was going to be so secret anymore. Finn had approached Kurt at lunch, telling him that Rachel hadn't believed their act from Saturday and suspected that he and Sebastian were dating.

“I don’t know how much longer I can last,” Finn had said. “She’s really intimidating.”

Kurt trusted Finn, he didn’t expect Finn to out his secret relationship on _purpose_. But sometimes Finn would do anything to please his girlfriend, and he could easily fall for her manipulation.

So, when Rachel stalked into Glee looking all too smug, Kurt didn’t doubt for one second that she had something up her sleeve.

“Hello, all!” she drawled out, waving to no one in particular.

Everyone in the Glee club either rolled their eyes or outright ignored her- except Blaine. He looked almost as excited as she did.

“Hey, Rachel,” Blaine said, his voice sounding robotic and rehearsed, “do you want to go to the mall later?”

“Oh, as much as I would love to go shopping with my _best friend_ ,” she shot the last two words in Kurt’s direction.

Kurt sighed in exhaustion. It seemed like she was past the phase of being sorry and begging to have Kurt back, and was now doing anything she could to spite him.

Rachel continued, “I am afraid that I simply cannot. You see, I, Rachel Berry, am meeting up with my extremely talented and attractive ex-boyfriend- wait for it- _Jesse St. James_.” 

Finn shot up. “What the hell!” he exclaimed.

Kurt frowned and narrowed his eyes. He could see right through Rachel- this was a trick. She was just using Jesse as a way to get Finn to follow her orders. 

“I’m sorry, Finn.” Rachel stuck her chin up and looked away from him. “I need a man who I can _trust_ and know _won’t keep secrets from me_ , especially secrets that are about my _soon-to-be-family_. And Jesse is a man I can trust-“

“Did you forget that he smashed eggs on your face?” Santana interrupted.

Rachel gave her a glare. “He’s matured, unlike _someone._ ” She finally looked at Finn.

“Rachel, what do you want from me? I can’t tell you,” Finn sighed, and he looked guiltily at Kurt.

Kurt inhaled sharply and felt Sebastian tense slightly beside him. _Please don’t tell her Finn_ , Kurt mentally begged.

Rache faked holding back a sob. “It just hurts. I thought you loved me.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. Blaine must have given her lessons.

“It’s true!” Finn burst out, and Kurt clenched his jaw and shot his step-brother an icy stare.

“It’s true? So, Kurt and Sebastian _are_ dating!” Rachel gasped, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. She sounded outraged, and normally Kurt would have laughed at her being overdramatic had he not been the victim of her words.

“What?” Mercedes perked up. Most of the other New Directions were muttering amongst themselves as well.

Blaine was staring at the couple, an unidentifiable look on his face. 

Sebastian squeezed Kurt’s hand. “Are you okay?”

Kurt shrugged. He was upset, but mostly because their relationship had been made public without their consent. But now, at least he could do this:

Kurt cupped Sebastian’s face and pulled him in, connecting their lips for a brief second. “Yeah,” he said. “I’m okay.” He couldn’t help but catch Blaine’s eye and wonder what his ex-boyfriend had up his sleeve. He turned to Rachel next, and said, “Why the hell did you do that?”

Rachel sighed and walked up to the front of the room, her hands on her hips. “We are a family,” she announced. “And as a family, I do not believe it to be right that we keep secrets from each other. I mean, how are we supposed to perform at Nationals if we’re having secret relationships?”

“Um, maybe by singing?” Sebastian said, facepalming.

“It is not healthy for us to do things like this-“

“Yes, it is!” Kurt called out. “We need privacy and time to ourselves, and, God forbid, we need to have things in our lives that are just our business. Do you want to know what isn’t healthy, Rachel? Lying, manipulating, cheating, spying on one another. So what if Sebastian and I are dating? That’s _our_ business, and no one else's!”

Rachel looked taken aback by his outburst for a second before recollecting herself. “You’re wrong,” she said. “And you’ll see that after you ruin Nationals for us.”

* * *

As he and Sebastian walked into the parking lot, hand in hand, Kurt felt the girls staring after him. He knew that they would have questions- ones that he probably wouldn’t feel like answering. 

The couple arrived outside of Sebastian’s car, and Kurt felt reluctant to say goodbye. They had spent the entire weekend together, and he wasn’t ready to part yet. To go home to a house where Sebastian wasn’t. 

Sebastian smiled at him awkwardly, also seeming to sense the girls staring at them. Normally, he would come up with a witty comment to get rid of them, but he didn’t want to ruin his moment with Kurt.

He leaned down and planted a kiss on Kurt’s lips, savouring it for a few seconds before pulling back. “I know that today didn’t go exactly as planned, but we’ll be okay, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kurt agreed, squeezing Sebastian’s hand. 

“I’ll call you when I get home.”

“And I’ll text you when I do as well. Don’t text and drive, by the way!”

“I won’t,” Sebastian chuckled, but he was secretly touched by Kurt’s caring. When he hooked up in Paris, none of the guys ever cared how he got home. _No_ , he thought, _Kurt’s not just a hookup_. “Stay safe.”

“I will. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kurt gave him a small wave then started to walk away.

He walked back to Mercedes, Quinn, Brittany, and Santana, who unexpectedly looked at him with sympathy. At first, Kurt thought it was because they didn’t approve of Sebastian, but then Mercedes said, “Rachel had no right to do that.”

Kurt nodded in agreement. “What are you guys doing here? And where’s Tina?”

“She’s with Blaine,” Quinn said. “We just wanted to make sure you’re okay. What you said in there was 100% correct, we are all way too involved in each other’s lives for our own good. But you also seemed upset.”

“I’m fine,” Kurt said. It was true, for the most part. “Just a little worried about how Blaine’s going to react. And I need to have a conversation with Finn later about this.”

“Look, I have no doubt that Blaine will have some bizarre plan stashed up his tiny sleeve, but it’s nothing you can’t handle, right?” Santana said, smiling at him. “And if you need us, call us.”

“I’m making ‘Kurt Hummel: Protection Squad’ shirts,” Brittany told him, and Kurt nodded, not knowing what to say in response.

“Thanks, guys,” he eventually decided on, pulling all four of them into a hug. “I gotta get going, but we _must_ have a sleepover again soon!”

* * *

“I’m a little surprised about Kurt and Sebastian,” Tina said, sitting next to Blaine on her bed. “I always assumed they’d be one of those ‘what-if’s’ couples. But they’re super cute together!”

“Not as cute as Kurt and I are,” Blaine mumbled.

“Kurt wasn’t really happy when he was with you.”

“So? I’m not happy now. Why does everything have to be about Kurt? He’s been off with like 3 different guys since we broke up, and me? I’ve stayed loyal to him!”

“Wait, you can stay loyal to him when you guys are broken up, but not while you were together?” Tina narrowed her eyes.

“My point still stands. When do _I_ get to be with him again?”

“You don’t. He’s with Sebastian now, and I think you should respect that. Maybe move on.”

Blaine shook his head. He couldn’t move on; Kurt was the love of his life. “Can you help me with something?”

“What?”

“Help me come up with a plan to get Kurt back.”

“Blaine, no. You have to drop this. You’re already on the bad side of most of the club. If you do anything to Kurt, you’ll have to quit.”

Blaine knew she was right. He was starting to act irrationally again. But he had seen Kurt kiss Sebastian… and that had made something inside of him snap. “Can’t you see what Sebastian’s doing to him?”

“What do you mean?”

“Sebastian is changing him! Kissing him in the choir room… that outburst he made at Rachel. That’s not Kurt.”

Tina raised her eyebrow. “That is _exactly_ Kurt. He once called Mr Shue uptight because he wouldn’t let us do Britney, and he would yell insults down the hall to the jocks. Maybe Kurt wasn’t that way with you because you wouldn’t let him have his own voice.”

Blaine just stared at Tina with his mouth hanging open. She wasn’t taking his side? Who did she think she was? “Tina, that is a really mean thing to say,” he said. He even refused to blink just so his eyes would water a little. “I thought you were my friend.”

“I am, but that doesn’t mean I’m just going to let you be destructive and make both yours and Kurt’s life harder. I’m trying to help you, but you have to help yourself, too. Have you considered going to therapy?”

Blaine scoffed and shook his head. “I can’t believe this! When will anyone care about what _I_ want?!”

“I think you should go,” Tina sighed. She couldn't look him in the eye.

Blaine stood up and silently walked to his car. Once he was sitting inside, he rested his head on the steering wheel. “How many?” he whispered to himself. “How many relationships will I ruin? I _just want Kurt. What’s so wrong with that?_ ”

But he knew. He knew that he had hurt Kurt to a point where most of the Glee kids were afraid to even talk to him. Where Coach Bieste had outright refused to let him try out for the football team on account of Kurt already being a member- _since when did Kurt like football?!_ Where Coach Sylvester had not only rejected him from the Cheerios; but was also looking for any reason she could to get him expelled from school. _Expelled?!_ Could she even do that? It wasn’t as if he had done anything wrong-

 _But you have_ , he thought. _You’ve done so much wrong. And you need to let go of Kurt._

He sighed again. It was time to move on.

* * *

When Kurt walked into the house, he slammed the door shut to let Finn know he was back- and he was _angry_. Sam was at Mercedes’, and Carole was at work, so he had approximately half an hour to give his dear step-brother a piece of his mind.

Finn emerged from the kitchen cautiously, his head hung down. “Hey.”

“Well, at least now I know who you would save if both me and Rachel were hanging off the edge of a cliff,” Kurt said, walking past him and into the kitchen. He made a glass of water and drank it while glaring at Finn, who had followed him.

“Dude,” Finn said.

“Really, Finn? You fell for her manipulation again. I mean, come on. Do you honestly think she would break up with you? She’s so dependent on you for everything.”

“You mean Jesse isn’t back?” Finn asked, scratching his head.

“God, Finn. No, he isn’t. Couldn’t you see through her acting?”

“Not really.”

Kurt pinched the bridge of his nose. “You can’t keep letting her get away with things like this.”

Finn shrugged helplessly. “What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know, Finn. I just want you to be safe. And by the way: what you did was _not_ cool. I trusted you and you broke that trust.”

“I’m sorry, man. I thought she was serious about leaving me. I can’t lose her.”

“Your life doesn’t revolve around her, Finn. And if it does, maybe you’d be better off without her. You need to find yourself.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry about telling everyone about you and Sebastian. I know you guys wanted to keep it a secret.”

“It’s okay. I actually feel a lot lighter now that it’s out in the open. Everyone seems to be taking it fine if you exclude Blaine. Why is Rachel so bothered about it, anyway?”

“Oh, about that. She blames Sebastian for why you won’t be friends with her again. Apparently- and these are more Blaine’s words than mine- Sebastian turned you into a snarky, annoying, self-righteous downer who thinks he's better than everyone in the world. Again, not my words, and I don’t believe Blaine at all. But Rachel got it in her head that if she could break you guys up, you would be friends with her again. She really misses you.”

“I miss her too, but I don’t like the person she is now. Yeah, she was annoying before, but now she’s downright awful. But I don’t care anymore- I’m done having bad people in my life. I’m in a relationship with the best man alive right now, I have amazing friends, I have my NYADA audition coming up. I’m happy.”


	33. Cheerios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coach Sylvester makes Kurt an offer he can't refuse, while Sebastian gets a disturbing phone call.

On Friday, after school, Kurt had to leave school alone as Sebastian had skipped Glee. Kurt had no idea where his boyfriend was, but when he opened his locker while talking to Mercedes, a piece of card fell out. He gave his friend a questioning look, wondering if she knew what was going on. She shrugged and motioned for him to read it.

“‘ _Do you remember where we first met?_ " Kurt read aloud. “‘ _Xoxo, Seb_ '.”

“Oo, looks like someone has a hot date,” Mercedes teased. “Where did you guys meet?”

“The Lima Bean,” Kurt recalled. “Does he want me to meet him there? It doesn’t say that on the card…”

“Well, whatever happens, call me, okay? I’m sure your little boy toy won’t let you down.” Mercedes patted his cheek lightly and left.

Kurt smiled as he read the note again. The handwriting matched Sebastian’s perfectly, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow Blaine was behind this…

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a quick text to Sebastian.

**Kurt: Got your note! Do you want me to meet you there? Xx**

He waited a few minutes for a response, but when one didn’t arrive, he sighed and went to his car. He checked once again before he set off. Nothing.

Against his better judgement, he drove in the direction of the Lima Bean instead of going home. A small part of him knew that it could all still be Blaine, especially since he still hasn’t received a confirmation from Sebastian. But Sebastian also hadn’t denied it.

Kurt parked his car in the eerily empty parking lot. When he walked up to the door, he saw that all of the blinds were closed, as well as the sign on the door saying **‘CLOSED’** instead of **‘OPEN’**. He turned on his heel, determined to get the hell out of there. This had to be some kind sick prank, or maybe Blaine was hiding out in a bush waiting to kidnap him. He was about to walk back to his car when someone- _something?!_ \- grabbed his arm and pulled him inside the coffee shop. Kurt jumped and let out a high pitched yelp when he heard a small laugh come from his kidnapper.

“Relax, it’s me.”

Kurt sighed in relief when it turned out to be Sebastian. “You scared me!”

“Sorry,” Sebastian said sheepishly, “I probably could have thought this out better. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well, you got what you wanted. I _am_ surprised.” It was then that Kurt looked around the Lima Bean. The room would have been completely dark had it not been for a few candles on a table- _the table where he saw Sebastian for the first time_. There was also vases filled with roses scattered around. “What…”

“I rented this place out for the day.”

“I-You… You _rented out the Lima Bean?!_ How does one do that exactly?”

Sebastian shrugged. “It only cost me a few hundred bucks.”

“What? Seb, that’s-” Kurt was cut off by Sebastian placing a gentle kiss to his lips. 

“Let’s not overthink it, okay? This is our first date, and I want it to be special for you.”

Kurt smiled. “I used to pride myself on being a hopeless romantic, but now it seems you have me beat.” He took Sebastian’s hand and walked with him to their table.

“No worries, I want to spoil you. And besides, Valentine’s day is coming up soon, so you can go all out then.”

Kurt smirked. “Then prepare to be beaten, Smythe.” He took a sip from the coffee that was in front of him. _Perfect_. “So, what exactly is happening here?”

“Well, I couldn’t quite convince the owners to let me use their kitchen, so I made us some stuff from home. You skipped lunch to study, right? You must be starving.”

Kurt nodded. “I did. How did you pull this off, anyway? You’re barely 18.”

“I used my father’s email. They all took the day off and the guy who owns this place- who’s spelling is atrocious, by the way- left the keys under the mat.” Sebastian reached into his school bag and pulled out 2 sandwiches, passing one to Kurt. It was his favourite. 

“You know, at first, I thought this was all Blaine.”

“Ah.” Sebastian couldn’t hide the hurt that flashed across his face.

“Not like that, I mean- I thought this was just an attempt to get me back or something…”

“Are you disappointed that it wasn’t him?” Sebastian couldn’t help but ask.

“No, not at all. I was hoping that this was all you, and I’m glad it was.” Kurt reached across the table and took Sebastian’s hand in his own.

Sometimes, it was hard for Sebastian to believe that this thing with Blaine was over, that Kurt just wouldn’t go running back to him. “Let’s just not talk about Blaine, okay?”

Kurt gave his boyfriend a small smile and nodded. “What are your thoughts on soulmates?”

Sebastian tilted his head a little. “I haven’t really given it much thought. I mostly assumed that it was something that only existed in fiction. But I guess in some way, it makes sense that there would be that perfect person for you. The last person that you’d expect it to be. I guess it can exist both romantically or platonically; either your partner or best friend. It’s just someone who you can’t imagine your life without, someone who keeps you grounded and also helps you step out of your comfort zone, someone who consoles you and also points out when you’re being dramatic, someone who can easily match you, someone who can read you like an open book. I don’t think that any two people are made _just_ for each other, because nobody is ever completely unique, and besides, anything could happen. I don’t believe in fate,” he squeezed Kurt’s hand, “but I believe in us.”

Kurt blushed and grinned. “As I said, you’re sappy.”

“What about you? Soulmates: yay or nay?”

“Total yay,” Kurt said without hesitating. “I’m a total love at first sight kind of guy. Well, I was… I felt it with Finn, and Sam, and he-who-shall-not-be-named, but those relationships either never happened or crashed and burned. The only one that has worked out so far is you and I. So, maybe I don’t believe in fate either. But like you said; I believe in you and me.”

Sebastian moved his chair around to pull Kurt in a hug. “God, you’re the best.”

“You’re staying at my house tonight, by the way.”

“Oh, am I?” Sebastian smirked.

“Yup, because I need to fall asleep in your arms again. Honestly, you’ve ruined any other kind of sleep position for me. Do you know how exhausted I am? I may need to invest in another boyfriend pillow.”

“Hang on,” Sebastian raised his eyebrow, “ _another_ boyfriend pillow?”

Kurt blushed. “Sophomore year was a very lonely time from me,” he mumbled quietly.

“And do you still have this boyfriend pillow?”

“Nope, I threw it out when Finn moved in because I didn’t want him to find it.”

“Smart move. Okay, I’ll cuddle you just as long as you don’t replace me with a stuffed arm.”

“I’m not making any promises.”

* * *

Sebastian decided to be smarter this time, so before heading back to Kurt’s to spend a long weekend there, the couple went to Sebastian’s so he could pack a few belongings.

Kurt made the claim that Sebastian should just leave some things permanently at Kurt’s since he spent so long there anyway, but Sebastian pointed out that they would both be graduating in a few months anyway.

When they finally pulled outside of Sebastian’s house 2 and a half hours later, Kurt noticed that the driveway was empty.

“Are your parents ever at home?” He asked, looking at his boyfriend curiously. He had met Sebastian’s mother a few times- on each occasion, she had acted differently towards him- and Kurt believed he had only met Sebastian’s father once. 

“Sometimes, honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if they had another house they stayed at just so they could avoid me.” Sebastian had said the statement so casually that it broke Kurt’s heart. Things had been getting tenser and tenser between Sebastian and his parents.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why? It’s not your fault.”

“I know but… I just wish I could help.”

Sebastian squeezed his boyfriend’s hand and got out of the car. “You are helping. Now, I’m assuming you want to pack my clothes for me?”

“Oh, I thought you’d never ask!” Kurt grinned, all gloomy thoughts about his boyfriend’s homelife vanishing. 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Sebastian chuckled and led Kurt into the house. Though Kurt had only visited the Smythe household a handful of times, by now he had a pretty good idea of where Sebastian’s bedroom was. Kurt let himself into the room, and after receiving its whereabouts from Sebastian, he pulled out a duffel bag. He then began to search through the wardrobe, pulling out clothes that he deemed suitable for the activities they would be doing that weekend. Kurt imagined that they would be going out somewhere for lunch one day, but aside from that, they would be inside the house all the time. Kurt may have snuck in an extra hoodie for himself. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help?” Sebastian asked for the second time. He was just sitting on his bed, checking his phone, while Kurt worked his magic.

“Honey, trust me, I’ve got this,” Kurt replied, not glancing away from Sebastian’s shelf of body spray. He knew that it would be logical to just let Sebastian borrow his, but he loved the way Sebastian smelled too much. “This is my idea of _fun_.”

“You’re weird,” Sebastian commented, a fond smile on his face.

“Really? No one has ever told me that before. God, Seb, why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Kurt gasped, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“Ha. Ha.”

“Okay, I think we’re just about done,” Kurt said, zipping up the duffel bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “Correction, _I’m_ done.”

“You’re so modest.” Sebastian gently stole the bag from Kurt and carried it himself.

“Hey!” Kurt said, trying to reach for the bag back.

“What? It’s heavy and I want to carry it.”

“It’ll take us like 5 minutes to get to the car, there was no point in you doing that.”

“And there’s no point in us bickering about it, especially since we could be halfway to the car right now if you hadn’t said anything to begin with.”

Kurt sighed, rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but smile a little. “Let’s go.”

* * *

“I could get used to this.”

“What?” Sebastian mumbled, his voice muffled from his mouth being buried in Kurt’s hair. They were laid in bed together, and he was nearly falling asleep, so he was only half-sure that he had heard Kurt right.

“I said, I could get used to this. _Us_. Cuddling,” Kurt repeated.

“Oh, yeah,” Sebastian readjusted himself so he could talk clearer, “me too. I’m kind of hoping that this could be the new normal.”

“Just a few more months,” Kurt said with a smile.

* * *

“You can’t quit!”

“Puck, I-”

“Please! We need you!”

“I don’t-”

“Kurt, you can’t quit. How are we supposed to win without you?” Puck pleaded.

They were standing in the crowded hallway, and Kurt had just told Puck that he had quit the football team. The mohawked-male hadn’t taken the news very well, and he was trying to convince Kurt to stay. 

“Look, football is boring,” Kurt replied. “You said I only had to be on the team for a few months, and I need to start and practice for my NYADA audition.”

“Please,” Puck begged. 

“Puck…” Kurt sighed, and for a brief second, he considered hearing Puck out; until a loud, booming voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Porcelain, my office, now!”

Kurt rolled his eyes and followed Coach Sylvester to her office.

“Sit down, Porcelain,” Sylvester said after Kurt just lingered in the doorway. 

Kurt hesitantly sat down. He couldn’t recall doing anything that would put him in Sue’s bad book, but then again, anything could set her off. “Is there an issue, Coach?”

“A little birdie told me that you quit the football team,” Sylvester said, leaning on her desk.

“Puck was yelling it in the hallway, I’m pretty sure that everyone knows.”

“You’re going to rejoin the Cheerios,” Sylvester stated.

“I don’t-”

“I wasn’t asking.” She slid a uniform over to him. “I need _you_ to win me Nationals again.”

“I’m sorry, Coach, I really appreciate the offer but I really don’t have the time…”

“Nonsense! You’ll have plenty of time.”

“Coach, I can’t…”

“What do you want in return?”

“What?”

“Obviously I’ll have to bribe you to join the squad in some way, so what do you want?”

Kurt thought for a minute, but nothing came to mind. “I don’t know.”

“What college are you going to?”

“NYADA.”

“Never heard of it.”

“Oh, it’s a performing art-” Kurt began to explain.

“Don’t care. If you rejoin, I’ll write you a recommendation letter or whatever. Deal?” Sylvester offered. 

Kurt bit his lip as he considered this. He was going to need all the help he could get, especially if he was going up against Rachel. He had also applied to a couple of design schools, but he felt more confident with those than he did NYADA; besides, he didn't want to push his luck by asking for any more favours from Coach Sylvester. “Deal,” he said, shaking her hand. 

“Great, I’ll see you at practice after school. Now, get the hell out of my office.”

* * *

Before going to class, which he was already extremely late for, Kurt called into the bathroom to change into the Cheerios uniform. As comfy as the material was, he didn’t like it that much. He would much rather express himself with his own clothes, but there wasn’t much he could do. Maybe if he performed really well at Regionals he could sweet-talk his way into her letting him wear his own fierce outfits during the day. 

Kurt was just leaving the stall when a familiar face walked into the bathroom.

“Hey, you,” Kurt said with a smile on his face. 

“Hey,” Sebastian replied, looking Kurt up and down. “What are you wearing?”

“Coach kind of bribed me into rejoining the Cheerios,” Kurt explained. 

“Bribed you how?” 

“She promised to write me a recommendation letter for NYADA.”

“I thought you were going to ask Shue?”

“I was, but I think Coach is a better option. The only solo I’ve had at a competition was our duet, which instead of watching, he instead comforted Rachel, who was crying because ‘that should have been her’. And he’s never really been too fond of me anyway; I was never scared to try new things or to tell him what I thought. It’s always been _Rachel Rachel Rachel_ ; it wouldn’t have surprised me if he started writing all about her half-way through my letter. But Coach Sylvester always let me shine, plus, senior year extracurriculars count, so between Cheerios, football, and Glee, I might have a good shot at NYADA.”

“You’ll get in on talent alone,” Sebastian said, taking Kurt’s hand as they went back into the hallway.

“Aren’t you going to use the bathroom?” Kurt asked.

“Nah, I only asked to go because Stoner Brett was doing my head in. I’d rather just lap around school with you.”

“You’re not going back to class?” Kurt asked.

“Nope, there’s only 15 minutes left. And didn’t Coach excuse you for the whole period?”

Kurt nodded. “Do you have anything in mind?”

“Is the choir room free? We could get warmed up for Glee.”

“Yeah, I think so, let’s go,” Kurt said, leading Sebastian in the direction of the room.

As they were walking, Sebastian’s phone started to vibrate from his back pocket. “Hang on,” he said. He frowned when he saw the caller ID and Kurt gave him a questioning look. “It’s my mom. I better get this. I’ll meet you there, ‘kay?” he asked, but he walked away before Kurt could answer.

He answered the call, “What’s up, Mom?”

His mom spoke on the other end, and as she spoke, Sebastian’s face fell.

“What, Mom, no! You have to be- put Dad on… I don’t care if he’s busy, this is important… Mom!” he sighed and hung up the call when his mom was in the middle of explaining things. He didn’t care.

He made his way to the choir room, and Kurt smiled at him brightly from the piano.

“Hey,” Kurt said, “everything okay?”

“Um, yeah,” Sebastian lied. He wouldn’t tell anything to Kurt until he knew for sure what was happening. “What do you want to sing?”

“How about _Every Breath You Take_?”

“Sounds perfect,” Sebastian said, taking a seat beside his boyfriend.


	34. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian comes up with surprises for Kurt for Valentine's Day.

A few weeks later, Kurt decided to text Karofsky.

**Kurt: Hey, sorry for not being in touch. I know it’s been a while, but I’m ready to talk things out. Let me know when you’re free and where you want to meet up. - Kurt**

He next got started on a list of things he wanted to ask Karofsky. He tried to not plan too far in advance, because, after all, Karofsky might not be willing to share anything, whether that be to protect himself or Kurt.

Kurt knew that he wanted to know who had initiated a relationship, and how it had been done. How long they had been together. If they had slept together or not. And if they had talked about him. He had received most of the answers from Blaine already, but he needed to be certain. 

He also wanted to check in on Karofsky’s well-being. Kurt had firsthand experience of knowing how bad Karofsky was at dealing with his emotions, and he had to make sure his friend (were they still friends?) was looking after himself right. 

Kurt’s phone vibrated in his hand just as he was finishing off his list.

**Karofsky: Glad to hear from you. Lima Bean tomorrow work?**

**Kurt: Can we do Wednesday? Tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day and me and Seb have plans**

After Karofsky agreed, Kurt sent a quick text to Sebastian to tell him the news, who sent him a response straight away telling him to be safe and to call if he needed anything. 

Finn knocked on Kurt’s door a few minutes later.

“Hey, dude, me and Sam are gonna make a sandwich-“ 

“It’s 11 o’clock at night.”

“We’re hungry.” Finn shrugged. “Do you want to join us?”

Kurt shook his head. “I better get some sleep. Oh, take your own car to school on Wednesday, I’m going to the Lima Bean after Glee.”

“You got a date with Sebastian?”

“No, Karofsky,” Kurt replied, then realised what he said. “Not a _date_ with Karofsky, we’re just sorting things out.”

Finn nodded. “Yeah. Night, little brother.”

“Night, Finn.”

* * *

Sebastian always seemed one step ahead of Kurt. The blue-eyed boy had made a plan to get into school an hour early to set up Sebastian’s Valentine’s Day surprise, but it seemed that his boyfriend had gotten there before him. When Kurt opened his locker, he was met with a bouquet of roses waiting for him. 

Kurt smiled and picked up the flowers, finding a card attached. 

“‘ _Meet me in the choir room,_ ’” Kurt read aloud. 

Kurt made his way over to the room, and when he walked inside, he had to bite back a laugh.

Sebastian was draped majestically across the piano, dressed in a purple velvet tux, with a box of candies in front of him.

“Hello, babe,” Sebastian said, his voice low and seductive. 

“I… Seb…” Kurt was at a loss for words.

Sebastian jumped off of the piano and walked over to his boyfriend, passing him the candies. “These are for you, and I see you’ve already found your flowers.”

“Thank you,” Kurt said, placing a sweet kiss to Sebastian’s lips. “How did you pull this off? I mean, I understand the card as you could slip that in through the slits of the locker, but how did you fit a bouquet in?”

“Well, as you’re the sweetest boyfriend ever, I knew you would have your locker combo as my birthday.”

Kurt blushed. “This is all amazing. What are you wearing, by the way?”

“Ah, I wanted to look sharp for you.” Sebastian twirled as a demonstration.

“You’ll be hot in that, and I don’t just mean attractively. Do you have a change of clothes?”

“Nope!”

Kurt unzipped his bag and pulled out a gift bag containing Sebastian’s present. “Well, maybe you’ll like this.”

Sebastian grinned and hastily pulled out his present. It was a white sweatshirt with **‘KURT AND SEBASTIAN 4EVER** ’ printed on the back. There was also a stuffed bear holding a felt heart. “I love these! Thank you.” Sebastian kissed Kurt and hugged him. “I’m going to give you yours at your surprise lunch.”

“Huh? You mean these aren’t all there is?” Kurt gestured to the flowers and candies. “And 'surprise lunch'? What does that mean? Seb, you’ve done so much already.”

“I know, but there are 2 little things left.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows. “First of all, nothing is little with you. And secondly, I feel like I’m letting you down.”

“What? Letting me- Kurt, you could never let me down. What’s got you thinking this?” 

“You keep doing these amazing surprises. Renting out the Lima Bean, taking me to the water park, the bike ride, and now all this? I feel like a crappy boyfriend.”

“Babe,” Sebastian sighed and pulled Kurt into a hug. “You’re not letting me down nor are you being a crappy boyfriend. You’ve been an amazing boyfriend to me. I want to spoil you and treat you the way you deserve to be.”

“I know, but you spent so long doing everything for me and I just took you for granted. I was either chasing after some other guy or breaking your heart or both simultaneously. It just doesn’t seem fair-“

“Kurt, listen to me. You make me feel loved and cared for and at home, and that’s all I want. Materialistic things don’t matter to me, I care about making memories with you, okay?”

Kurt smiled and nodded. “Thank you.”

* * *

When Kurt came out of math, ready to go to lunch, he found Sebastian waiting for him outside of the classroom. His boyfriend was no longer dressed in the tux, but instead was wearing gym sweats and the sweatshirt Kurt had gotten him.

“Ready to go to lunch?” Sebastian asked, offering his hand out to Kurt. 

“Sure! Do you like the sweatshirt?” 

“Yup, it’s really warm and soft. Puck actually high-fived me and congratulated me on tying you down. Honestly, I’m just wondering how long it’s gonna be until you steal it off me.” Sebastian winked at Kurt flirtatiously. 

“That depends on how long it takes for it to smell like you.”

“Probably a few days. And I’m guessing I’m never getting back my blue hoodie.”

“You are correct.”

“You should be proud of me. I reorganised my entire wardrobe just to hide my favourite hoodies out of sight.”

“Honey, you can try, but I know the contents of your wardrobe like the back of my hand. Nothing is safe.”

Sebastian led them into the library, and Kurt was a little confused. If it was lunch, shouldn’t they be eating? Especially since he had had to skip breakfast to get to school on time.

Sebastian led them to the back corner of the library, where they were out of view from everyone. He reached into his bag and pulled out 2 things: a cheesecake (Kurt’s favourite, he was pleased to notice), and a rectangle object wrapped in pretty blue wrapping paper.

He set the cheesecake in between them and passed the gift to Kurt.

Kurt thanked him and kissed him on the cheek before unwrapping it. It was a French book that he didn’t recognise at first, but then it clicked.

“Was this the book you were reading on your day at McKinley? When I found you here during lunch to avoid being attacked with tomatoes?”

“Yes!” Sebastian seemed really proud of himself. “It’s a romance story, so I think you’d really enjoy it. It’s not my typical genre when it comes to reading, but I had it recommended to me a ton so I figured that I would give it a try and I actually loved it.”

“Thank you, this is perfect.” Kurt kissed him again. “You’ve really made this day special for me.” He laid down in Sebastian’s arms.

“Ah, the day is just getting started, babe.”

* * *

Sebastian was holding onto Kurt’s hand tightly as they walked out of school. The rest of the day had gone well. Kurt had started reading the book that Sebastian had bought him during his free period and he knew right away that Sebastian was an amazing gift giver. He was glad to know that Sebastian loved the sweatshirt. When he had ordered it, he wasn’t sure whether it was too soon, but he found it too adorable to resist.

Kurt wondered what the other surprise was, and he hoped that it wasn’t too much. Though he hated that he still made comparisons, Blaine had never done this much for Valentine’s day. They had never celebrated the holiday as a couple, but if the GAP Attack was anything to go by, anything that Blaine could have pulled off would probably be public and humiliating. 

So, this was Kurt’s first celebrated Valentine’s Day, and it was better than he could have ever imagined.

He had tried to pry the second surprise out of Sebastian all day, but his boyfriend was determined to keep it to himself.

“So,” Kurt said as they arrived at Sebastian’s car, “care to tell me now?”

Sebastian kissed his nose. “You’re so impatient.”

“Pretty please?”

“I’ll pick you up at 5:30, okay?” 

“Pick me up to go where?” Kurt attempted, smiling sweetly.

“Nice try. I’ll see you then, babe.” Sebastian kissed him again.

“How about a little hint?” 

“What’s in it for me?” Sebastian teased.

“Hmm, I’ll give you another kiss?” He brushed his finger across Sebastian’s lips. “How does that sound?”

“That sounds agreeable,” Sebastian said, smiling. 

Kurt leaned in and connected their lips, pulling Sebastian’s head down to deepen the kiss. He pulled back after a few seconds and licked his lips.

“How was that?”

“Amazing,” Sebastian smirked. “Okay, it’s at my house.”

“Your house?” Kurt raised his eyebrow and wondered what Sebastian could have in mind. “Will your parents be there?”

“God, no. It’s just you and me.” Sebastian took Kurt’s hand and rubbed his knuckles. 

“Okay, I’ll see you then.” Kurt pulled his hand back then made his way to his own car. 

* * *

Kurt walked into the house, yelling that he was back to whoever was home. Sam came out of the kitchen looking at Kurt guiltily. 

“Hey, Sam,” Kurt said, “what’s up?”

“Um, we only saw the note _after_ we ate them,” Sam told him.

At first, Kurt was slightly confused, but then he remembered. That morning, he had made Sebastian some chocolate filigree hearts as a treat before he went to school. He had worked incredibly hard on them- and Sam and Finn had eaten them all?!

“Please tell me you’re joking,” Kurt begged, sliding past Sam to get into the kitchen. Finn stood by the fridge, an empty tray that was once filled with chocolate hearts beside him.

“Sorry, dude,” Finn apologised. “In our defence, the note fell off.”

“And did it never occur to you that I might have made them for Sebastian?” 

“We thought that it could have been a brother thing, you know?” Finn attempted. “You’re always making us stuff.”

“Not for _Valentine’s Day_ ,” Kurt groaned. He forced his brothers out of the kitchen and got started on a fresh batch. After he had placed them in the fridge, he went upstairs, showered and got dressed in the suit that he had picked especially for Valentine's Day. He went back downstairs and placed the chocolates carefully into a small gift box and covered it over with tissue paper.

After spending a further half-hour sorting out his hair and moisturising, he was waiting downstairs for Sebastian.

“Hey, dude, you look great,” Sam said as he sat next to Kurt on the couch.

“Thanks,” Kurt replied, picking at his cuffs nervously. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just hoping that tonight goes well. It’s kind of a special night.”

“Oh, is it your first Valentine’s Day?”

Kurt nodded, but that wasn’t the only reason. He was planning on having sex with Sebastian tonight.

* * *

Sebastian knocked on Kurt’s door excitedly. He had tried his best to not speed on the way over there, knowing that Kurt would kill him if he got in an accident.

Kurt answered, instantly pulling Sebastian into a heated kiss. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmured.

“Right back at ya. Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” 

They walked back to the car, and once they were both seated, they exchanged gifts.

Sebastian gave Kurt a card that was covered in as much glitter, stickers, and colour as possible. There was also a cute poem written inside that Kurt read out loud.

“ _‘Roses are red, your eyes are blue, out of all of the guys I have been with, my favourite is you_.’” Kurt laughed and pulled Sebastian in for a kiss. “Thank you, love. That was adorable.”

“I’m glad. Can I open this?” he asked, pointing to the gift box containing the chocolate hearts.

“Yup!” As Sebastian opened it and gasped with excitement when he saw what it was, Kurt explained, “I made a batch of them this morning, but Sam and Finn took it upon themselves to eat them.”

Sebastian chuckled and put one in his mouth. “Well, they’re amazing either way. Thank you.” 

Sebastian put the radio on and started the car, and they spent most of the drive singing along to random songs on the radio, even if they didn’t know the words, and eating the chocolates.

“What’s the strangest dream you’ve had?” Kurt abruptly asked, squeezing Sebastian’s hand which was resting on the steering wheel.

“Hmm. When I was 4 years old, I had a dream that my TV came alive and tried to kill me,” Sebastian told him.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I got so terrified that I couldn’t even be in the same room as it. We ended up selling it to my friend. What about you?”

“I had a dream that my cat started talking to me- it was voiced by James Earl Jones- and was telling me that the world was about to end.”

“I didn’t know you had a cat,” Sebastian said.

Kurt looked at him with a serious expression. “I didn’t.”

* * *

Sebastian covered Kurt’s eyes as they walked through his living room to get to the patio, where apparently the surprise was waiting. Kurt hit his leg on a table and almost tripped over, but luckily Sebastian caught him.

“Careful,” Sebastian said, catching Kurt with one hand and keeping his eyes closed with the other, “there’s a table there.”

“Funny, I didn’t see it,” Kurt retorted. 

“Just a little bit further,” Sebastian told him, being extra careful to not injure Kurt any more. He opened the back door and led Kurt outside. “Here!” He removed his hands from Kurt’s face so his boyfriend could see the patio. He had decorated it so that fairy lights were wrapped around the gate. He had set up a table in the middle of the garden which had 2 plates and a candle in the centre. 

“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you went all out,” Kurt said. He wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s neck and kissed him. “You’re amazing.”

“So are you.” Sebastian pulled out a chair for Kurt to sit on.

“Such a gentleman,” Kurt laughed.

Sebastian took his own seat and pulled out a dome lid. Just before he removed the lid, he said, “I made my speciality.” He revealed 2 grilled cheeses.

“Wow, you should be a chef,” Kurt joked, but once he bit into it he realised he wasn’t being sarcastic. “God, you should cook more often.”

They ate for a while, making occasional small talk, until Sebastian said, “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”

Kurt giggled. “We already are together, Seb.”

“Fair enough. Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.”

Kurt stared at him with an unreadable expression. “You know, I thought these sandwiches were pretty cheesy, but then you started talking.”

Sebastian muffled a laugh and choked out, “Aside from being sexy, what else do you do for a living?”

“Sebastian! We are both still in _high school_!” Kurt exclaimed, but he was also snickering. “These don’t make sense. Did you just Google ‘pick-up lines’?”

“Speaking of Google, is that your name? Because you’re everything I’ve been searching for.”

Kurt banged his head on the table. “Stop. Being. So. Damn. Adorable.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet,” Sebastian cooed. “But you know what’s even sweeter than you?”

“What?” Kurt asked, dreading that the answer was another pun.

“Dessert!” Sebastian revealed, reaching under the table and producing two ice cream sundaes.

“Okay, how long have they been sitting under the table for?” 

“About 3 hours.”

Kurt nodded, that explained why they were nearly melted. He ate a spoonful and almost moaned. “Once again, your food skills have surprised me.”

“I’m full of surprises.”

“Yes, you are.”

“How do you feel about talking to Karofsky tomorrow?”

“I don’t know, nervous I guess. It’s not something I want to do, but I need to. Did I ever tell you what happened between us?”

“You and Karofsky?” Sebastian nodded. “Santana did. But tell me your side.”

“It’s no secret that he used to bully me. It started Freshman year when I first started at McKinley. I was the only other out gay kid- well, I wasn’t out by my choice. Apparently, it was just clear to everyone. Karofsky and the other jocks started to bully me, but by my junior year, it was really only him who was making it personal. I had had enough and I went to Dalton to spy for Regionals, and that was where I met Blaine. He told me about when he got gay-bashed at his Sadie Hawkins dance and he transferred to Dalton because of it. He said that he wished he didn’t run and that I shouldn’t run from Karofsky. So, the next day, Karofsky shoved me into a locker and I went after him. I yelled at him, telling him that he wasn’t my type and… and he hate kissed me,” Kurt swallowed harshly, “and he tried to do it again but I pushed him away. I told Blaine about it and he took it upon himself to come to McKinley and give him the ‘it’s-okay-to-be-gay’ speech in the middle of the courtyard. Karofsky told me that if I told anyone else he would kill me. He got suspended from school, then got un-suspended, so I transferred to Dalton. Santana decided that the best way for her to be voted prom queen would be to bring me back and start a Bully Whips thing, which was walking me to my classes. She got Karofsky to apologise for everything by threatening to out him. Karofsky won prom king, and I won prom queen. The principal made us dance and he kissed me and came out in front of the whole school. I ran out of there and Karofsky followed me, telling me that he loved me and only bullied me because I was so out and proud, and now that he was out we could be together. I turned him down. Blaine was strangely forgiving about the whole thing. Karofsky didn't return for the rest of the year, and then he transferred at the start of this year to avoid embarrassment for what happened.”

Sebastian squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry, baby. That’s…”

“It’s okay, Seb. I’ve heard it from everyone. Karofsky, my friends, teachers… I’m okay. But some part of me wishes I could forget it all.”

Sebastian smiled at him. “Do you have a pencil? Because I’d like to erase your past and write our future.”

* * *

After a few more sickly-sweet pick-up lines, and a perfectly sweet dessert, the couple went back inside.

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Kurt suggested, throwing himself down on the expensive sofa.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go upstairs to bed? You must be pretty tired after running through my mind all day,” Sebastian said, unable to keep the smirk off of his face.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” Kurt shook his head and pulled Sebastian down beside him.

“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but Blaine is still your boyfriend, right?”

Kurt pulled him in for a kiss. “You’ve never been more wrong.”

Sebastian smiled as they kissed. “A movie sounds perfect. How about _Titanic_?”

“Only if you’re ready to comfort me while I cry,” Kurt said.

“Always.”

* * *

By the end of the movie, Kurt was a sobbing mess and Sebastian was cuddling him and stroking his back soothingly. 

“I would let you get on the door,” Kurt whispered.

“What?”

“The door. If we were Jack and Rose, I would let you climb on and I would stay in the water.”

“No way, I would find a way for us to both get on.”

“Yeah, that sounds better.”

“Let’s just agree to not go on any ships.”

“Agreed. I get seasick anyway.”

Sebastian pulled at the collar on his shirt. “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”

Kurt smiled and buried his head in Sebastian’s chest. All of the comments were reminding him of his earlier decision for what he wanted to do later. “Let’s go upstairs.”

“Hm?”

“Your bedroom. I want to go upstairs.”

* * *

Kurt was on top of Sebastian, holding his face gently as he kissed him over and over again. Sebastian parted his lips slightly, so Kurt took the opportunity to slide his tongue into his mouth. Sebastian’s lips felt soft against his own and tasted chocolatey from dessert. Kurt felt warm and dizzy from it all; it was more passionate than what he was used to. 

Kurt pulled back, breathless. “I want to do this,” he told Sebastian. 

“What… _it_?” 

“Yeah, I want you.”

“Kurt, are you sure? I don’t want to unless you do,” Sebastian checked.

“No, I’m sure.”

Sebastian nodded and moved his lips down Kurt’s jaw to his neck. It became more demanding and forceful and Kurt whimpered.

“Is this okay?” Sebastian asked, pulling away to look Kurt in the eye.

“Yeah,” Kurt sighed.

Sebastian didn’t seem completely convinced as he went back to kissing Kurt’s lips. Kurt closed his eyes with pleasure and moaned as Sebastian bit down on his lower lip. 

“Take off your shirt,” Kurt murmured, playing with the hem of Sebastian’s shirt.

“Okay,” Sebastian whipped his shirt off and threw it carelessly onto the floor. Kurt ran his hands over Sebastian’s chest. “Do you want to take yours off, or is that too much?”

“Yeah,” Kurt said, and he moves Sebastian’s hands down to the bottom of his shirt.

Just as Sebastian started to pull it up, Kurt tensed up. _It’s Sebastian touching me_ , he reminded himself, but his boyfriend felt him stiffen. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Kurt, we promised to always be honest,” Sebastian reminded him and he instantly pulled his hands away. “Do you want to do this?”

“Yes, yes, of course I do.”

Sebastian nodded and put his hands back around Kurt’s waist, but it was as if something had completely changed and Kurt slapped his hands away. 

“Kurt!”

“I- I’m sorry,” Kurt said. 

“If you didn’t want to do this-”

“I do!”

“Baby, don’t pretend, it’s okay.” Sebastian softly stroked Kurt’s cheek.

“I did want to. I thought that I was ready but…”

“It’s okay.”

“When you touched me it reminded me of all the times that Blaine used to.”

“That’s okay, we don’t have to until you’re ready.”

“But it’s Valentine’s Day and I wanted it to be special.”

“Kurt.” Sebastian slowly pulled Kurt into a hug. “When- if we do do it, it _will_ be special. Not because it’s some silly holiday, but because it’s _us_. That’s all that matters to me, and I’ll be willing to wait as long as it takes.”

Kurt gave his boyfriend a small smile and relaxed into Sebastian’s arms. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“No need to thank me. I just want you to feel comfortable, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Come on, I should probably take you home, we got school tomorrow.”

Kurt kissed him briefly on the lips. “‘Kay.”


	35. The Biggest Risk is Not Taking Any Risk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt talks to Karofsky. Kurt and Rachel audition for NYADA.

“Is this seat taken?”

Karofsky looked up from his coffee cup to see Kurt staring down at him with a nervous smile on his face. He smiled back and shook his head. “No, go ahead and sit down. I actually saved it for you- you know all this. We agreed to meet here. Sorry.”

Kurt did and set his own coffee down that he had bought a few minutes prior. “Hi.”

“Hey.”

“So, how have you been? How’s Thurston?” Kurt asked, tapping his fingers on the table.

“Um, good, good, yeah,” Karofsky said. An awkward silence hung between them.

“So this is fun.”

“Yeah, it is. How have you been?” Karofsky asked.

“Fine, yeah. I have my NYADA audition coming up.”

“Really?” Karofsky cleared his throat. “NYADA? That’s cool.”

“Oh, have you heard of it?”

“Not at all.”

“Oh, well, it’s a nice school. Musical theatre.” Kurt shrugged, not knowing what to add. He had already gushed about the school to Sebastian for hours. “I have to ask, what do you think would be better for me? Musical theatre or fashion?”

“Um, I dunno. You’re really good when you sing and your clothes are really fancy. You’re talented in both things.”

“Exactly! Theatre has been something that I have dreamed off since I was younger. But I've also applied to some fashion schools. Maybe I can do both. I could get an internship or a part-time job somewhere."

“Yeah.”

“Sorry, I’m rambling. Um, what about you?” Kurt rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I got a football scholarship, so that’s pretty good.”

“Make sure to dance on the field.” Kurt chuckled.

“Will do. I still can’t believe you made us do that.” Karofsky shook his head, smiling.

“You guys threw me in the trash every day, I deserved some sort of revenge. And my hips looked amazing.” Kurt leaned back in his seat, smirking and took a sip from his coffee. “It was actually that same night I came out to my dad.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear about your dad by the way.”

Kurt tensed slightly. Had this really been the first time he had had a real conversation with Karofsky since his dad passing? Maybe their friendship wasn’t as strong as he had thought it had been. “Thanks.”

Karofsky waved him away. “No worries.”

The awkward silence returned, and Kurt panicked, saying the first thing that came to his mind. “I almost had sex with Puck!” he exclaimed.

“What?”

“Um, Puck and I dated for a while…”

“Oh?” Karofsky had a slightly amused look. “How did that happen?”

“Things just kind of clicked into place and we kissed and one thing led to another… you know.”

“So why’d you guys break up?”

“I thought he told me that he loved me and I freaked out and we broke up the next day.”

Karofsky gave Kurt a sad look. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Kurt shrugged again. “It’s okay. It wasn’t too hard to move on from him, we didn’t have that much of an emotional connection. Blaine was much harder to get over.”

The mention of their common ex created a third awkward silence.

“So, football scholarship?” Kurt changed the subject.

“Yeah.”

“I joined the football team again for a while,” Kurt told him.

“You’re kidding. What song did you make the team perform this time?”

“Unfortunately, none. Coach Beiste is an actual decent coach, so they didn’t need my amazing dance moves.” Kurt sighed. “I quit a few weeks ago and then Coach Sylvester made me join the Cheerios again. The uniform still sucks.”

“You’ve been busy.” Karofsky laughed.

“Do you remember when you kissed me at prom?” Kurt blurted out.

Karofsky looked taken aback for a second until he recollected himself. “I do.”

“That was super weird.” Kurt fake snorted. “But not as weird as you dating my boyfriend at the same time I was.”

Karofsky bowed his head. “Kurt, listen, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t,” Kurt interrupted. “We should talk things out first and then we can apologise, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I have some questions for you, but if you feel uncomfortable answering any of them, just let me know and we’ll move on.”

“Fair enough,” Karofsky agreed. “What’s your first question?”

“How exactly did you and Blaine get together? Who initiated it?”

“Um, depends. Blaine initiated it for the most part I guess. I was out at Scandals one night and he was there, crying about how he was doing something wrong or whatever,” Karofsky started.

“He was cheating on me?” Kurt asked, and his heart broke a little at the question.

“That was what I asked him. It never occurred to me that he was actually doing it, but most likely. He made up some crappy excuse about how he was only sneaking out to the bar to be rebellious to his mom or something.”

“Interesting,” Kurt said. “Carry on.”

“Before I left, he asked me for my number. He called me sometime after and we went to the mall together-”

“I actually did know about that,” Kurt said. “I was there too and Rachel saw you guys. He had lied to me that morning and said he was going out with his dad.”

“Oh,” Karofsky widened his eyes a little, “why didn’t you call me and ask why I was with him?”

“I…” Kurt trailed off. “I don’t know. I guess I wanted to give Blaine the benefit of the doubt and hear his side. Or maybe I was afraid you would tell me the truth and I wouldn’t be able to live in denial.”

“Did you end up asking him?” 

“Yeah. He told me that you didn’t want to be friends with me anymore so he was hanging out with you in secret.”

“God, we’re idiots.” Karofsky chuckled.

“I know! How did we not realise it sooner?” Kurt shook his head in disbelief. There were so many signs, yet he had ignored them all. “So, what happened at the mall?”

“He got a phone call and said it was from you.”

“Ah, that must’ve been when I called him to see if he was still lying,” Kurt recalled.

“When he came back, he looked kind of upset so I asked him what was wrong. He claimed that you had broken up and were cheating on him. He asked me to go to the movies with him, I said no at first but he somehow convinced me to say yes. We went back to his place and he started to kiss me. I thought that it was too soon so I left.”

“And after that?”

“We went on a few more “dates” which always ended in him kissing me but we never went any further than that. One night we went to Scandals and I decided to take a risk and ask him if we were dating. No surprise, he said yes and that was that.”

Kurt felt his heart snap. It wasn’t just a spur of the moment thing- Blaine had _planned_ this. It wasn’t easy to get Karofsky, so Blaine worked hard for this. Did he want a second relationship? Or did he purely want Karofsky? If he just wanted hookups, wouldn’t he have just continued sleeping around? _Ugh_ , Kurt thought, _so many more questions, but only Blaine could answer them_.

“How long were you together for?” he asked.

“Only a few weeks.”

Kurt nodded his head. He was impressed with Santana- it hadn’t taken long for her to find out the truth. “And how emotional were things?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you guys _have the connection_?” Kurt rephrased. “Like… did you think you could love him? Could you imagine a future with him?”

“I don’t know. I definitely liked him,” Karofsky admitted, “but whenever I tried to take things deeper he would shoot me down. He never wanted to talk after we were together, only make out and stuff. But a lot of the time he did say he was tired of doing those things with you. He claimed that you were clingy and blamed him for the breakup.”

“Because _I was still his boyfriend._ ” Kurt sighed. “God, I hate him so much.”

“Me too,” Karofsky said.

“I have another question,” Kurt told him, “and remember what I said before, you have the right to not answer.”

“You’re making me nervous. What is it?”

“Did you and Blaine have sex?”

Karofsky hesitated for a second before nodding his head. “Yes, we did. Why are you asking?”

“I think he just used you for sex.” Between refusing to make an emotional connection and me not putting out, it all makes sense. Maybe Blaine just wanted to make sure he would always have someone to sleep with." 

“Really?” Karofsky looked genuinely hurt. “I should’ve known. Of course nobody would want me-”

“Hey, no, don’t talk like that,” Kurt reached over and squeezed Karofsky’s hand, “please. I used to think that way too, but you shouldn’t. I found someone who makes me feel special and loved and attractive. And I promise that you will too. You’re an amazing person, David, and any man would be lucky to have you.”

David smiled. “Yeah, you’re right. And the same goes for you. I’m glad you’ve found someone.”

“Thank you.”

“Since you’ve asked me a ton of questions, I have one for you.”

“Shoot.”

“If you hadn’t been with Blaine at prom, do you think there’s a chance you and me could’ve gotten together?”

Kurt took a long sip from his drink as he thought it over. “No,” he eventually said. “You bullied me for years, David. And yes, I may have forgiven you for that, but it still _happened_. And you harassed me when you kissed me. You kissed me out of _hate_. I’m sorry, but any relationship that we would have had… it wouldn’t have been good. I do find you attractive, but while we may be friends, I could never see you as anything more than that.”

David shrugged. “Okay, I was just wondering what could have been. And you’re right, I was horrible to you.”

“Speaking of horrible things,” Kurt said, “Blaine told me that you said insulting things about me when you guys were together. Is that true?”

David blushed slightly and avoided eye contact with Kurt. “I’m sorry. Yes, it’s true.”

Kurt smiled thinly. He had assumed that it would have been correct anyway. “I don’t want to hear what you said about me. I’m guessing that it’s either what you said when you were my bully or nothing that someone else hadn’t already said about me.”

“I was just being petty because you were his ex- or at least, he _claimed_ you were. He was pretty angry about the so-called-breakup.”

“Angry?” Kurt narrowed his eyes. “Did Blaine ever get mad at you? Or throw things? Or pressure you into doing something you didn’t want to?”

“No, no, and no. What- Did he do all of those things with you?” 

“I- No, of course not.” Kurt laughed anxiously. He couldn’t let David know about how awful Blaine really was. “I just wanted to make sure you were safe, that’s all.”

“No, he was actually pretty sweet, if you minus all of the two-timing crap. And he never pressured me into anything.”

“Maybe that’s because you actually put out,” Kurt muttered. 

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Kurt.”

Kurt sighed and tried his best to look David in his eyes. “Blaine tried to get me to sleep with him a bunch. Sometimes he made small passes at me, and one time he…” Kurt tensed up instantly as he thought back to that night.

“Kurt, are you okay?”

“No.” Kurt took 3 deep breaths.

“It’s okay, I get what you’re trying to say. At least I think I do. Did he go through with it?”

Kurt shook his head.

“Okay, well, he didn’t do anything like that to me. Hell, most of the time I was the one to start it.”

“Can we change the subject?” Kurt quickly asked.

“Yeah, yeah. Do you want another drink?” David asked, pointing to the coffee cup that Kurt wasn’t even aware he was crushing in his hands.

“Please.”

David stood up and went back up to the counter. While he was gone, Kurt pulled out his phone and called Sebastian.

“ _Hey, babe, what’s up? Is everything going okay? Do you need me to pick you up?_ ” Sebastian’s voice instantly came from the other end, making Kurt smile.

“Everything’s okay. We just talked about… _Scandals_ ,” Kurt told him, and Sebastian made a noise of acknowledgement. 

“ _It’s okay, babe. Are you sure you don’t want to come home?_ ” 

“I’m sure. Thank you, though. What are you doing right now?”

“ _Just working on some homework. I’m wearing our sweatshirt, by the way!_ ”

“ _Our_ sweatshirt?” Kurt giggled.

“ _I’m willing to share because I’m the best boyfriend in the world_.”

“Yes, you are. And I think I should tell you something.”

“ _What is it?_ ”

“Kar- David asked me if it wasn’t for Blaine, would I have gotten with him at prom.”

“ _Oh. What did you say?_ ” Sebastian asked.

“I said no.”

“ _Not because of me, right? Because that was before us_.”

“No, because I wanted to be honest and not give him any false hope. He’s only a friend to me, and that’s all he ever was besides a bully.” Kurt looked behind himself and saw David heading back to their table. “David’s coming back. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“ _Okay, stay safe. Bye._ ”

“Bye!” Kurt watched David sit down and he smiled at him. “Hey.”

David passed him his cup of coffee. “Hey. Feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you. Sorry about all that.”

“No worries.”

“So how are you doing, David?” Kurt asked.

“Me? I’m doing okay. I’m not going to lie, Blaine took me a bit to get over and it really hurt. But like I said, I wasn’t super into him and we were barely together. I’m actually seeing someone else,” David told him.

Kurt made a noise in surprise. “Really? That’s great.”

“Yeah. It’s only been 2 dates so far, so we agreed to not spend Valentine’s Day together.”

“Tell me about him.” Kurt recognised the sparkle in David’s eye. It’s the one he has when he thinks about Sebastian. 

“Okay, he’s 19, has black curly hair, blue eyes. He’s nerdy-cute and is studying computer programming.”

“Damn, where were all the gay guys when I was a sophomore? I had to crush on _Finn_ ,” Kurt complained.

“I knew it!” Karofsky exclaimed, laughing. “God. You have a guy yourself now, right? What’s he like?”

“Oh!” Kurt grinned. Finally, he could gush about Sebastian. “His name is Sebastian-”

“Hang on, that’s the guy Blaine said you cheated on him with,” David said.

“Really? Blaine cheated on _me_ with Seb.”

“And you’re dating him?” David gave him a judgemental look.

“He didn’t know me when he slept with Blaine. It was in the summer.”

“Ah, okay.”

“Anyway, he’s amazing. He cares so much. I spent so long thinking that we wouldn’t end up together. It seemed like there were always obstacles in the way. But when we finally did get together, it was like, ‘ _why the hell haven’t we been doing this the whole time?!_ ’ I know that it sounds stupid, I mean, we’ve only been together a few weeks, but I think he’s my soulmate- and _God_ , you should have seen what he did for Valentines Day.”

“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.”

“He snuck roses into my locker and gave me chocolate and a French book. For lunch, we ate cheesecake in the library. Then he took me to his place where we had dinner on the patio which he made and then we watched _Titanic_.”

“Sounds like a magical night. I’d love to meet him sometime.”

“I think you kind of have. He was there at the Blaine Ambush.”

“He was?”

“Yeah, tall, brown hair, beautiful green eyes that you can’t help but get lost in…” Kurt sighed dreamily.

“Calm down there, Romeo. Yes, I remember him. Very attractive.”

“Hands off,” Kurt growled. 

David chuckled. “Relax, he’s not exactly my type.”

“How could you say that? He’s everyone’s type! He’s perfect!”

“Wait, I’m confused. Do you want me to find him attractive or not?”

“I… I don’t know!”

“Okay, well, it’s been nice catching up. And for the record, I am really sorry about everything that went down.”

“Me too,” Kurt said.

“What do you have to be sorry for?”

“I don’t know, I just think that maybe if I had been a little stronger or ended things sooner with him he wouldn’t have gone after you. Or at least cheated with you. And it was fine when I was the only one he was hurting. But dragging my friends into it-” did he just call David his friend? “- that’s too far. I should have put my foot down. He made Brittany cry so many times."

“Kurt, don’t blame yourself. Blaine is the one at fault.”

“Yeah, okay. Thank you.”

“I’m gonna get going. Shall I walk you to your car?”

“If you don’t mind.”

The pair walked to Kurt’s car.

“So, we’ll definitely stay in touch this time, right?” David asked, patting Kurt on the shoulder.

“Definitely. Look after yourself, and look after your man, too. But if he does anything to you, I’ll knock him out, ‘kay?” Kurt teased.

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll be terrified of you.”

“I can be scary.”

“Not gonna lie, there were a few instances when you were fighting back that I genuinely thought you were gonna claw my face off.” David laughed.

“And ruin my manicure? I could never.” Kurt mock-filed his nail. 

“You’re right, I should have known better.”

“Take care, David,” Kurt said, pulling him into a hug.

“You too.”

* * *

Kurt spun around in a circle, showing off his gold pants. “Well, what do you think?” he asked, grinning at Sebastian.

“Hot,” Sebastian said, winking.

“Thank you, I just hope whoever’s running the audition likes it too.” Kurt had his NYADA audition in 20 minutes, and after a few more days of brainstorming, he had made the final decision to go with _Not The Boy Next Door_ from _The Boy From Oz_. He figured that it would be better to take the risk than to go with the easy route. But now that it was actually time to do his audition, he was having second thoughts. “Do you think I’m making the right choice? What if it’s too big of a risk? I haven’t rehearsed it enough.”

“Hey,” Sebastian pulled Kurt into a hug, “you’ll be amazing no matter what. You know both songs forwards and backwards, so try not to worry, okay? Worrying won’t change the outcome of things.”

“Yeah, okay.” Kurt took a deep breath. “I’m going to go with _The Music Of The Night_. That’s safer.”

“Okay, though I’m not going to lie, I’m going to miss those pants.”

“I promise to wear them for you later.”

“Deal!”

Kurt smiled and kissed him on the lips gently. He grabbed his bag off of the floor which had his costume in. “I’m just going to go get changed,” he told Sebastian. 

“Alright.”

Kurt quickly ran to the bathroom to change. A part of him still considered doing _Oz_ , so he pulled his black tear-away pants over the top of his gold ones. He put his cape on and his mask then made his way back over to the auditorium. On the way, he texted Brittany, Mercedes, and Santana to back him up during his performance.

“Kurt!” 

Kurt turned back around to see Finn slightly behind him. 

“Hey, Finn.” Kurt waited for his brother to catch up.

“Are you on your way to the auditorium? You have your audition, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Rachel’s got hers, too.”

“How is she feeling about it?” He didn’t really care too much about Rachel, but more so on if he was overreacting about it. 

“Confident. She’s doing _Don’t Rain On My Parade_.”

“Classic Rachel.” Kurt chuckled. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Nervous,” Kurt admitted. 

“You’ll be great, you know that. You’re a great singer and Mr Shue should have given you more solos. Don’t tell Rachel I said this because she’ll probably kill me, but she’s overconfident. She hasn’t been rehearsing at all because she’s been doing that song since she could sing. But you, I know that you’ve put everything you have into this. If you don’t get in, it won’t be because you don’t deserve it, it’ll be for some dumb reason that you couldn’t have prevented.”

“Yeah, thanks, Finn.”

“No problem, little brother.” Finn ruffled Kurt’s hair before going to take his seat. 

Kurt gave himself a small smile and went into the wings. Sebastian was sitting on a chair, frowning at his phone. “Everything okay, honey?”

“Yeah, just…” He looked up at Kurt. “You look amazing, baby.”

“Thank you.”

“Um, my mom texted me and she needs me to call her. I’ll be there in two minutes, okay?” Sebastian told him.

“Yeah, of course, of course. Hurry back.” Kurt gave him a quick kiss then got ready to go onto the stage. Just as he was about to go onto stage, Rachel tapped him on the shoulder. 

Kurt sighed. “What do you want, Berry?”

“I just want to say that I’m proud of you for making the right choice.”

“Right choice?” Kurt rolled his eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re doing _Phantom_ , right? You’re playing it safe. Doing _Not The Boy Next Door_ would have been a disaster. You shouldn’t take risks, Kurt. It’s just not you.”

Kurt crossed his arms. “You’re being serious, aren’t you?”

“Yes! And now we can go to NYADA together.”

“Rachel, when will you get it? We aren’t going to NYADA together, there is no us. We’re not friends. Now I have to audition. Good luck with yours.”

“Good luck, Kurt.”

* * *

Kurt walked out onto the stage and saw that Madame Tibideaux was sitting in the audience. Finn, Mr Shue, and Coach Sylvester were sitting in the back rows. But there was no Sebastian. 

“Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning with…” Kurt thought about what Rachel said. He _was_ a risk-taker. He had taken countless risks. He didn’t want to take the safe option. If he was going to be famous he wouldn’t be able to live it safe. He threw off his mask and cape and ripped off his pants. “... _Not The Boy Next Door_.”

Madame Tibideaux nodded at him and the music started playing.

“ _Coming home used to feel so good, I'm a stranger now in my neighbourhood_ ,” Kurt sang, “ _I've seen the world at a faster place, And I'm coming now from a different place_ , _Though I may look the same way to you, Underneath there is somebody new_ ,

“ _I am not the boy next door, I don't belong like I did before, Nothing ever seems like it used to be, You can have your dreams but you can't have me, Oh, I can't come back there anymore, 'Cause I am not the boy next door_.”

Kurt saw Sebastian walk in from the back. He looked upset, but the second he and Kurt made eye contact, he brightened up a little. He gave Kurt a small smile and Kurt winked. _He’s here_ , Kurt thought.

“ _You've been saving those souvenirs, Faded photographs from our foolish years, We made plans but they're wearing thin, And they don't work out 'cause I don't fit it, And those memories will just weigh you down, 'Cause I got no place to keep 'em uptown_ ,

“ _I am not the boy next door, I don't belong like I did before, Nothing ever seems like it used to be, You can have your dreams but you can't have me, Oh, I can't go back there anymore, 'Cause I am not the boy next door_ ,

“ _I'm not sorry for just being me_ , _But if you look past the past you can see_ , _That I am not, Nothing ever seems like it used to be, You can have your dreams, oh but you can't have me, I can't go back there anymore, 'Cause I am not, I am not, I am not, The boy next door_.” Kurt hit the final note and knew instantly that he had killed it. There was no way that he wouldn’t get in.

He looked at Rachel who was standing in the wings. She shook her head at him, almost as if she was disappointed in him. But when he looked at Sebastian, his boyfriend gave him a thumbs up and clapped loudly.

Then Madame Tibideaux cleared her throat. “You know, Hugh Jackman won a Tony award for playing Peter Allen.”

Kurt hastily nodded his head. What was she getting at here?

“Hugh trained with me the summer I was in residence at the Sydney Opera House,” she continued, “and I’m certain that he would have been…”

 _Don’t take a dramatic pause!!!_ Kurt mentally begged.

“...as impressed with what you did with that song as I am,” she finished. “A bold choice, young man."

Kurt gasped and covered his mouth with his hands. 

“I congratulate you for taking such a risk today.”

“Thank you!” Kurt exclaimed, clapping his hands together. He blew a kiss to his girls and squeaked out another ‘thank you’ as he ran off the stage. 

He couldn’t believe it. He _had_ to get in now. He walked up the stairs of the auditorium and took a seat on the back row besides Sebastian.

“Hey,” Sebastian whispered. “You were great. I’m sorry I was late, my mom kept droning on and wouldn’t let me leave.”

“It’s okay. Was I really great?”

“Yes, and you know you were.” Sebastian squeezed his hand just as Madame Tibideaux called Rachel to the stage.

Rachel stalked out onto the stage confidently and turned to face the audience with a huge smile on her face. She truly believed she was the best in the world.

“Hi, I’m Rachel Berry, and I’ll be singing _Don’t Rain On My Parade_ from my favourite musical, _Funny Girl_ ,” she announced.

“God, can she shut up?” Sebastian hissed to Kurt.

“Shh, be nice, it’s starting,” Kurt whispered back.

“ _Don’t tell me not to live, Just sit and putter_ ,” Rachel sang, “ _Life’s candy and the sun’s a ball of butter, Don’t bring around a cloud, To rain on my parade_ ,

“ _Don’t tell me not to fly, I’ve simply got to, Life’s candy and the sun’s a…_ ”

Kurt sat up straight and stared at her. Those weren’t the words.

“I’m so sorry,” Rachel said, cupping the sides of her face, “I’m so, so, so sorry. Please, let me just start over one more time. I’m sorry.” She didn’t wait for a response before turning back around.

The music started again.

“ _Don’t tell me not to live, Just sit and putter, Life’s candy and the sky’s a_ …” She stopped again.

“Oh, God,” Finn whispered.

“Why does she keep getting it wrong?” Sebastian asked. 

“I don’t know,” Kurt said.

“I’m… I’m so sorry,” Rachel stammered. “I don't know… I know this song backwards.”

“Does she?” Sebastian snorted a little and Kurt gently pushed his shoulder.

“I know this... “ Rachel sighed. “Okay… Please, let me just do it one more time. I can-”

“No,” Madame Tibideaux interrupted, and the boys stopped whispering amongst themselves to listen.

“Excuse me?” Rachel asked.

“You get eight bars. I gave you 16. Do you know what happens when you forget the words on Broadway? They give the job to your understudy. I’m very sorry, but this audition is over.” Madame Tibideaux began to pack up her things.

“No,” Rachel began to tear up, “please… please, please, please. You have to believe me. You just have to… Please just give me one more chance, please. Please. Please.”

Kurt looked at Sebastian. “Let’s go,” he whispered. “I feel awkward being here.”

“Do we have to?” Sebastian asked. “I kinda wanna see how this turns out.”

“Yes, come on.” Kurt grabbed Sebastian’s hand and led him off the stage.

On the way out, Sebastian switched the lights off, leaving Rachel crying in the dark.

* * *

They were walking down the hallway together, talking about what had happened.

“I’ve never seen anything like that happen before. There was one time when she lost her voice and her singing was all screechy, but at least she knew the words. I wondered what happened,” Kurt said.

“Talk about second-hand embarrassment. It was funny at first, but then it was just sad,” Sebastian replied.

“Kurt.”

Kurt sighed and turned around. Rachel stood at the end of the hallway, looking at the couple.

“What do you want, Rachel?”

“Can I talk to you?” she asked. “In _private_.”

“I guess,” Kurt told her, giving Sebastian’s hand a squeeze before he left. 

“Can you help me?” she asked him.

“With what?”

“Getting me another audition.”

“No,” Kurt said straight away, crossing his arms.

“Please. If you do I’ll talk you up to Madame Tibideaux,” Rachel attempted.

“I don’t need your help, Rachel,” Kurt said. “I can get in on my own.”

“Oh, _please_ ,” Rachel rolled her eyes. “I told you not to take a risk and you did it anyway! You completely messed up your audition. You _need_ my help.”

“Taking a risk didn’t mess this up! Madame Tibideaux was _impressed_ by it,” Kurt pointed out.

“Risks don’t work out for you,” Rachel said. “Do you remember the first risk you took?”

“What?”

“Our _Defying Gravity_ diva-off. You took a risk by trying to steal my solo and you tanked the note.”

Kurt bit back a laugh. This was going to be good. “I threw the note on purpose,” he said, smirking. “You didn’t win because you were better, you won because I let you.”

Rachel glared at him. “What? Why would you do that?”

“My dad was getting anonymous calls that called me the f-slur. I didn’t want him to get harassed for me singing a girl song, so I gave it up for him.”

Rachel shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”

“I don’t care. I know that it’s true, and I believe in myself. And I believe that I can get into NYADA on my talent alone.”


	36. The First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on the HIMYM episode 'Zip, Zip, Zip'.

Kurt was sitting alone in Glee waiting for Sebastian. His mom had just called him again on their way to the extra-curricular, so Kurt had agreed to meet him in the choir room. 10 minutes later, Sebastian walked in, looking heartbroken.

“Okay, seriously, what is going on?” Kurt asked. “You always seem upset after talking to your mom. Is she saying horrible things to you?”

Sebastian swallowed harshly and took a seat beside Kurt. “I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Kurt took his hand.

“I- I’m moving back to Paris.”

“What?”

“My dad got transferred back to his old…” Sebastian started to explain everything that had happened, but Kurt couldn't hear him. It felt like he was drowning and everything was blocked out.

Then a thought occurred to him. “Is Blaine behind this?” Kurt asked, interrupting whatever Sebastian was talking about.

“No,” Sebastian said. “That was the first thing I asked my father. He actually thought I was crazy; as if a 17-year-old kid could do something like that.” He squeezed Kurt’s hand. “How are you feeling? I know this is a lot to take in.”

“I don’t know. Still kind of in shock, I guess.” Kurt laughed as he wiped away a tear. “What about you?”

“I’ve had a while to come to terms with it. I’m doing okay; it’s not the first time I’ve been forced to move.”

“A while? How long have you known about this?”

“A couple of weeks.”

“Seb!” Kurt leaned his head on Sebastian’s shoulder. “How could you keep this from me? We promised to always be honest with each other.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Sebastian said. “I didn’t want to freak you out over nothing. My mom just gave me the moving date today, so I guess it’s officially happening.”

“When?” Kurt was almost afraid to ask.

“At the beginning of March.”

Kurt shot up. “What? That leaves us with barely any time together!” He felt the tears fall down his cheeks. 

“I know.”

“Screw all of this, move in with me!” Kurt suggested.

“What? Kurt, I can’t…”

“Why not?”

“Carole is already having to provide a home for 3 teenage boys, I can’t put her out anymore.”

Kurt started crying more. “Seb, please, there’s a solution right here, take it.”

“I’m sorry, Kurt.” Sebastian leaned in to kiss him, but Kurt moved his head away. "Kurt."

"I don't understand. You don't _have_ to go, so don't. You're 18."

Sebastian sighed. "I know it sounds stupid but I _want_ to go."

"What?"

"I want to finish off the year there. I miss Paris. If I could take you with me, I would, but I know we can do this. I'm still going to New York with you, it's just a few months."

Finn, Puck, and Sam walked into the choir room and instantly shot daggers at Sebastian.

“What did you do?” Finn demanded.

“Kurt, do we need to kill him?” Puck asked.

“Did you break up with him?” Sam inquired.

“No,” Sebastian answered. “It’s just, I’m…”

Kurt shook his head. “Please…”

“I’m moving back to Paris,” Sebastian told them.

“I have to go,” Kurt said, running out of the room.

“Kurt, wait!” Sebastian chased after him.

Kurt didn’t stop until he got to his car, which he tried to get in before Sebastian caught up to him.

“Kurt, where are you going?”

“Home,” Kurt said. “I don’t want to be in Glee when everyone else is there. They’ll make this a big deal and won’t shut about it.”

“Well, do you want to come back to my place?”

“No,” Kurt snapped. “I wouldn’t want to get in the way of you _packing_.”

Sebastian sighed. “Look, babe, just don’t push me away, please. We barely have any time together and I don’t want to lose you over this.”

Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian. "You're not going to lose me. I'm sorry. You're right, we can make this work."

Sebastian kissed the top of his head. "I love you," he whispered.

"What?" Kurt asked, not catching what Sebastian had said.

"Nothing. I'll call you later."

* * *

The next day, Kurt asked Sebastian to go over to his place so they could talk things out like adults. 

“So, are you ready to figure this out?” Sebastian asked.

“Yeah,” Kurt said, nodding at his boyfriend.

“I’m still going to Paris.”

“I know.” Kurt cleared his throat. “And what does that mean for us?”

Sebastian gave him a sad look. “What do you want that to mean for us?”

“I don’t want to break up.”

“God, Kurt, no. That was never an option for me. I don’t want that either.” Sebastian squeezed Kurt’s hand.

“Okay, so we’re definitely staying together?”

“Always.”

“I feel a little better,” Kurt admitted. “We’re doing long distance, then?”

“I guess so. But I’ll call you every day and we’re still going to New York together. We can make this work, Kurt. I’m not giving up on you.”

“I’m not giving up on you either.” Kurt kissed him on the lips. “We’ll beat the odds, right?”

“Of course. I- I really want to stay with you. You can call me during lunch breaks at school.”

“Yeah, and we can text whenever. This can work.” Kurt excitedly grabbed Sebastian's hands. Then he sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re going to miss so much. Prom, Nationals, my graduation…”

“I know, babe. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” Kurt said. “ _I’m_ sorry for getting mad at you yesterday. None of this is your fault. And I know you’re trying. At least we have some time left together.”

“Yeah, we do. And we can do whatever we want.”

Kurt looked at Sebastian. He knew what he wanted to do. “I want you.”

Sebastian chuckled a little. “I want you too.”

“No, I mean, I _want_ you.”

“Oh,” Sebastian caught on, “you mean you want to…”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Are you sure?”

“More than anything.” Kurt kissed him again. “Date night at my house on Saturday, okay?”

“Okay.”

* * *

On Saturday night, Sebastian knocked on Kurt’s front door. Kurt answered a few minutes later, still wearing his apron. He instantly pulled Sebastian into a long, passionate kiss.

“Hey, you,” Kurt breathed after they pulled apart.

“That is one hell of a ‘hey,'” Sebastian replied. “Are you going to let me inside?”

“Oh, yeah.” Kurt moved to the side to let Sebastian get past.

“Mm, this smells great,” Sebastian said as he walked into the house. The couple made their way into the kitchen, where Sebastian took a seat at the dinner table while Kurt served up the meal. “So, I thought about what you said.”

“What thing in particular?”

“About me missing all of your celebrations.”

Kurt waved his spoon in the air to signal that it was all nonsense, but he really only ended up splattering sauce everywhere. “Don’t worry about that, Seb. I was just complaining over nothing. We get a whole _life_ together in New York. Who cares about prom or graduation?”

“You do. And I would love nothing more than to dance with you and yell about how proud I am of you when your name gets called, but that just can’t happen. _But_ , do you think you could come to Paris for a weekend?”

Kurt eyes instantly lit up. “I would love that!” 

“Really? I would love to show you around.”

“Yes! I’ll talk to Carole and will see what I can do.” Kurt sat down opposite Sebastian and they began to eat the meal that Kurt had prepared. “So how’s packing going?”

“Fine, most of our stuff is packed up.”

“Dare I ask about your packing methods?” Kurt chuckled.

“I just shove everything in boxes.”

“ _What?!_ You don’t organise anything?”

Sebastian gave him an innocent look. “Why would I organise it when I can do that while _unpacking_? What’s the point?”

“To make things easier when you _do_ unpack!”

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to come around to my place and help me with it.”

“Was this your plan all along?” Kurt asked. “To make me do it all for you?”

“Maybe it was just a plan to spend more time with you?”

“Aw, honey, I’d do that no matter what.” Kurt squeezed his hand from across the table.

Sebastian took another bite and moaned. “Oh, God, this is so good.”

“Shh,” Kurt hissed, “stop being so loud!”

“Why? No one is home, right?” Sebastian looked around the room as if someone had silently entered the kitchen.

“No, but…”

Sebastian smirked at him. “How did you manage this? Getting everyone out of the house?”

“Well, Rachel hasn’t let Finn leave her side since the audition fiasco so he's stuck at hers. I haven't seen him in days. Sam convinced Mercedes to go out with him; she thinks it’s just as friends, he thinks it’s for a date. And Carole is seeing her friend.”

“Fun.”

“Yup! So we have the whole house to ourselves.” Kurt was actually pleased. He hadn’t realised that they would be alone when they had organised the date. It seemed like luck had been on his side more and more recently. 

“So we can do whatever we want?”

“Yes, we can,” Kurt confirmed.

“You know we don’t have to if you’re not ready.”

“Seb, I’m ready. If I decide later that I’m not, I’ll tell you, okay?”

“Pinky promise?”

Kurt linked his pink with Sebastian’s offered one. “Pinky promise. Now finish that,” Kurt pointed to Sebastian’s plate, “or no dessert.”

Sebastian’s face lit up. “There’s dessert?”

“Not if you don’t finish dinner.”

Sebastian pouted. “You’re mean.”

Kurt smiled at him. “You know you love me.”

Sebastian laughed a little manically. “Okay."

“Um, so how do your parents feel about the big move?” Kurt tried to desperately change the subject.

“Oh, my mom’s happy. My dad’s neutral about it. I guess if he didn’t want to move, he’d had turned down the opportunity. He hasn’t said much aside to order me about.”

“Oh.” Kurt wasn’t sure what to say. “What about you? How do you feel?”

Sebastian shrugged. He didn’t want to upset Kurt, but he was happy about the move. Of course he didn’t want to leave Kurt, but Paris was his _home_. And he’d get to see all of his friends again. If only he could take Kurt with him. “I’ll miss you.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m excited. Paris is where all of my memories are and I never wanted to leave to begin with…”

Kurt smiled at him. "I’m happy for you.”

* * *

Sam and Mercedes were on their way to their own date when she began to freak out in the car.

“Sam, I need to use the bathroom."

Sam looked at his possibly-soon-to-be-girlfriend with sympathy. “There's one at the restaurant."

“I can't wait."

“Okay, no worries, we’ll just go to my place,” Sam said, turning the corner to back to the Hudmel's house. "We'll have to use Kurt's en suite, though. Finn broke the others."

* * *

While Kurt was washing up their dinner plates, Sebastian went to the downstairs bathroom. Kurt was feeling slightly nervous about the upcoming events, so he put his relaxing music playlist on to calm himself down. He put his earphones in, so he didn’t hear who came in through the front door.

“Is he home?” Mercedes whispered to Sam as they crept into the house. She could hear water splashing faintly in the distance.

“Yeah, he made a big deal about kicking me and Finn out so he could have Sebastian over. Let’s hurry up,” Sam told her. The pair hurried upstairs. They went into Kurt’s bedroom.

Sam waited outside while Mercedes used the bathroom. As soon as the door unlocked, Sebastian and Kurt barged into the bedroom, kissing loudly. Their backs were turned so they didn't see Sam. Sam panicked and let himself into the en suite so they couldn't see him.

“ _We’re going to do this_ ,” he heard Kurt murmur.

“ _Yeah, we are_ ,” Sebastian replied. “ _Let me know if you want to stop_.”

“ _I will_.”

“Oh my God!” Sam hissed. “Are they going to…”

“I think so,” Mercedes said with horror. “We have to get out of here.” She reached for the doorknob, but Sam gently slapped her hand away. He opened the door a small amount, though, so they could see what was happening.

“No, Kurt can’t know that we’re in here," he said.

“Why not?”

“When I first moved in here, he made a massive point that I could never use his bathroom, no matter the circumstances. He’ll kill me. Do you want me dead, Mercedes?”

“No…” She sighed and sat down on the toilet seat. “How long are we going to be in here for?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never heard them do it before.”

Mercedes looked at Sam with a blush. “Do you think this is their…”

“Gross, no. I don’t want to think about this.”

A loud moan came from the bedroom.

“And I don’t want to hear this!” Mercedes looked around the bathroom. “Does he have any earplugs in here?”

“Nope, they’re in his bottom nightstand drawer. We’re stuck listening to this.” Sam stepped into the bath and laid down. 

* * *

Sebastian stroked Kurt’s face gently and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "You're perfect," he whispered.

“God, you’re romantic,” Kurt gushed, kissing Sebastian again and nipping at his bottom lip. “You’re so precious to me.”

“And you are to me.” 

Kurt played with the buttons on Sebastian’s shirt, smirking at his boyfriend.

“Go ahead,” Sebastian told him.

Kurt unbuttoned Sebastian’s shirt, discarding it onto the floor. Sebastian attached his lips to Kurt’s neck.

“Oh, God,” Kurt moaned, running his fingers through Sebastian’s hair.

“You’re so beautiful,” Sebastian pecked Kurt’s lips, “it’s unbelievable. You’re like an angel from heaven who was sent to show me the light in the world.”

* * *

Sam mock-gagged. “God, this is so bad. Who says stuff like that?”

“I can’t believe it’s actually working,” Mercedes said. 

“I mean, it is kind of sweet. They’re so vulnerable and comfortable with each other that they can say things like that without being judged.”

“ _I’m_ judging them.”

“Well without judging each other, then,” Sam rephrased. “One day I hope to have a relationship like that.” He looked at Mercedes longingly. “Maybe with you.”

“Sam…”

“Just hear me out.” He readjusted himself so he was sat up, staring at her. “We had an amazing summer together. Is there any reason why we shouldn’t do this?”

“There’s a lot at stake here, Sam,” Mercedes sighed. “We’ve been friends for so long, what if things don’t work out?”

“If I’ve learned anything from those two idiots in there,” Sam gestured to the slightly-open bathroom door, “it’s that anything is possible, and you can find love in both the most obvious and the strangest places.”

Mercedes chuckled and shook her head. “Fine, but can I just say, this is one hell of a first date. If we don’t get out of here soon, I’ll never be able to look either of them in the eye again.”

“We’ll figure something out.” Sam dared to lean in and kiss her. 

She happily kissed him back until she gasped. “I think I have an idea.”

* * *

Kurt smiled and kissed Sebastian on the nose. “Take my shirt off.”

“Are you sure?” Sebastian recalled the last time they tried to do this, and he didn’t want Kurt to get scared again. 

“Yes, I’m sure. It’s you and me, Seb.” Kurt kissed him while Sebastian pulled his shirt off for him.

Sebastian drew in a sharp breath when he saw Kurt’s chest. He was beautiful. “You’re gorgeous,” he placed a kiss over Kurt’s heart, “inside and out.”

Kurt kissed him deeply. “This is so nice.”

“You have beautiful eyes. It drives me crazy that I can’t tell what colour they are.”

“Yours are so _green_. Green is your colour.”

“And red is yours,” Sebastian told him.

“That’s what Finn told me once,” Kurt recalled. He leaned in again to kiss Sebastian- he couldn’t seem to get enough of that- when Sebastian pulled a face.

“Gross, don’t talk about your brother when we’re about to have sex.”

“About to have sex?” Kurt wiggled his eyebrows.

“That is where this is going, right?” Sebastian checked. “Did you change your mind?”

“No, no,” Kurt kissed his nose, “it’s just… this is happening.”

“It is.”

That was when Kurt’s phone buzzed on his bedside table.

* * *

“What did you do?” Sam asked Mercedes. She had asked for his phone and then had spent the past 5 minutes crafting a text.

“I texted Kurt asking if you guys had any milk left. I figured he and Sebastian could go downstairs long enough for us to find a way out,” Mercedes told him.

“Oh. I never thought of that. Do you think they’ll go together?”

“Probably. They can’t seem to bear to be apart right now.”

“ _Who’s that?_ ” Sebastian asked from the bedroom.

“ _I don’t know, I’ll check after_ ,” Kurt replied.

“Oh, for God’s sake,” Mercedes sighed, sending another text to Kurt.

The phone buzzed again.

“ _It could be important_ ,” Sebastian said.

“ _Okay, I’ll check… Seriously?! Sam wants me to check if we have milk_.” Sam and Mercedes could hear the frustration in Kurt’s voice.

“ _Yeah, that can wait_.”

Mercedes sent Kurt a third text.

“ _He’s not going to stop_ ,” Kurt said, sighing. “ _I’ll be right back, you wait here_.”

“ _Okay_.”

“Damnit,” Mercedes said. “What now?”

Sam bit his lip and looked around the room. “I don’t think Sebastian will mind us being here. We could ask him to help us escape.”

Mercedes nodded and the couple creeped out of the bathroom. Sebastian heard them and looked up in surprise.

“What the hell are you guys doing here?!” 

Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s a long story. We were stuck in Kurt’s bathroom.”

“You’ve been in there the whole time? _Listening to us?!_ ” Sebastian didn’t seem annoyed or embarrassed about the situation, just confused.

“Unintentionally,” Mercedes pointed out. “Can you help us get out?”

“Fine, I’m pretty sure it would ruin the mood anyway if Kurt found out.” Sebastian jumped off the bed and led them down the stairs. “Okay,” he said, “you guys go out of the front door, I’ll distract him in the kitchen.”

“Thanks, man,” Sam said, grinning like an idiot, “now you go find your angel from heaven who was sent to show you the light in the world.”

Sebastian punched Sam on the arm before going into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist while his boyfriend was busy texting Sam back.

“Hey, babe,” he murmured into Kurt’s ear.

“Hi, I’ll be back up in a minute.”

Sebastian pouted and started to kiss his way down Kurt’s neck. Kurt froze and smirked.

“I guess we can go up now.” Kurt turned around to beam at his boyfriend, then he heard the front door slam.

Sebastian instantly pulled Kurt in for a passionate kiss.

When he pulled away, Kurt asked, “Did I hear the front door?”

“Um, I don’t think so,” Sebastian replied dumbly.

“Really? I’m sure I-”

“Ah, that must’ve been the sound of… my heart… beating fast… for you…”

Kurt smiled and rested his head on Sebastian’s chest. “Let’s go back upstairs.”

* * *

After it was over, they laid in bed together, holding hands. 

“Thank you,” Kurt whispered.

“For what?” Sebastian gently stroked Kurt’s hair with his free hand.

“You gave me the perfect first time.” In his mind, Kurt thought back to Blaine and every attempt his ex-boyfriend had made to try and get this to happen. Blaine had been rough, and bitter, and careless. Sebastian had been sweet, and tender, and loving.

Sebastian was also thinking back to Blaine. When they had had sex, it had been meaningless and with hurtful intent- at least on Blaine’s half. But this had meant everything to Sebastian. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Kurt snuggled into Sebastian’s arms more. He was overcome with so much love for Sebastian right now, and he wanted nothing more than to tell him that. “Sebastian?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I…” Kurt cut himself off. This was Sebastian’s first relationship. What if it was too soon for him to hear that? Or even worse, what if Sebastian couldn’t say it back. Kurt wasn’t sure what he would do then. Blaine had been the one to say ‘I love you’ first. He had thought Puck had said it first. He had _tried_ to say it to Finn, but that hadn’t worked out. And based on Sebastian's reaction from earlier...

Kurt just needed to hear Sebastian say it first, just so he was sure. “I want you to stay over,” he eventually said.

Sebastian chuckled softly. “I thought I was going to anyway.”

“Oh, yeah, duh.” Kurt slapped himself on the head.

Kurt looked so cute right now. Screw making the moment more precious, he wanted to see Kurt’s dumb smile forever. And he knew that by saying those three little words, he could make that smile even bigger. 

Or he could ruin the perfect night.

Sebastian mentally groaned.

They both wanted to confess their love for each other, but neither had the nerve to do it.


	37. The Last Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian spend their last day together before Sebastian leaves for Paris.

On the day before Sebastian left Ohio to go back to Paris, he was awoken at 7am by the sound of something coming in through his window. He chose to ignore it, figuring that it was just the wind or something. But he couldn’t ignore the whispering in his ear.

“ _Seb. Hey, Seb, wake up_.”

Sebastian groaned and cracked open an eye. He was met with Kurt staring back at him, a small smile on his perfect face.

“K’rt?” Sebastian mumbled, rubbing his eyes and opening them properly. “What’re you doing here?” He glanced at his alarm clock- yep, it was definitely 7am. 

“I’m here to see you, silly.”

Sebastian yawned and sat up. “How’d you get in here?”

“Well, at first I tried to come in through the front door. I knocked and eventually, your mom answered, but she told me to go away and come back at a decent hour. I didn’t want to do that, so I came in through your window.”

“I thought that I locked it,” Sebastian said to himself.

“You did.”

“Don’t you have school?”

“I was going to go, but I couldn’t go through with it. I _had_ to see you.”

“I’m here.” Sebastian pulled Kurt into the bed and wrapped his arms around him. “So, what do you want to do today, hmm? What’s going around in that beautiful mind of yours?”

“Well,” Kurt pecked his lips, “I thought we could spend the day doing whatever you want to.”

“Is that so?” Sebastian started to kiss him gently. “How does spending the entire day cuddling sound, babe?”

“Something _productive_ ,” Kurt corrected. 

“I find cuddling to be very productive.”

“Stop being so adorable.” Kurt relaxed in his arms. “But you’ve convinced me.”

“Oh?”

“We can spend a while cuddling.”

“Yay!” Sebastian ran his fingers through Kurt’s hair to find that it was still damp. “Did you wash your hair this morning?”

“Yup.”

“How the hell did you do that? You must’ve set off at 5 to get here, and with your skincare routine thingy and how long it takes you to get dressed... What time did you wake up?”

Kurt looked down at the mattress. “I didn’t sleep.”

“Baby, why?”

“I felt sick. I hate the thought of you leaving so soon.” Kurt stroked Sebastian’s face. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to guilt you or anything.”

“That’s not how I feel, it’s okay. You could have called me if you were having trouble.”

“I didn’t want to make things harder for you.”

“Babe, I’m okay with this. The thought of leaving you kills me, but I know that we’re going to stay together and it’s only a few months. If you’re struggling, I want to help you. Or at the very least, talk to you on the phone until you fall asleep.”

Kurt smiled at him. “Thank you.”

“You said you felt sick. Did you eat breakfast?” Sebastian asked.

Kurt shook his head.

Sebastian untangled himself from Kurt and sat up. “Alright, I’ll go get us something. Stay here.”

Kurt pressed a sweet kiss to his lips. “Thank you, honey.”

Sebastian smiled at him and went downstairs to the kitchen. He made 4 slices of toast for them to share then took it back upstairs. When he walked into his bedroom, he found Kurt fast asleep on his bed, snoring softly. 

Sebastian gave his boyfriend heart eyes. He looked at the plate of toast and shrugged, deciding to eat it himself. After he had finished breakfast, he brushed his teeth, washed his face, and showered. By that point, it was 8:30, and Kurt was starting to stir. He slowly opened his eyes and gave Sebastian a friendly smile.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Sebastian replied; he was sitting on his bed wrapped in a towel, “you missed breakfast. Did you have a nice nap?”

“Yes, thank you.” Kurt yawned and stretched. “What time is it?”

“8:30. I decided that you can choose what I wear.”

Kurt hummed as he thought. “Your grey hoodie, white shirt, and jeans.”

“Oh, you mean the hoodie that you stole from me?” Sebastian recalled, smirking.

“Mm, it’s really comfy.” Kurt had worn it last night, and he wished he had it with him now. “Okay, how about your red hoodie?”

“Sure. You haven’t managed to get your little manicured hands on that one yet.” Sebastian ruffled Kurt’s already-slightly-messy hair just before he made his way over to his wardrobe. 

He quickly got dressed and dove onto his bed, making Kurt jump a little.

“Okay,” Sebastian said, “if we’re going to do this thing, I’m going to need coffee.”

Kurt grinned at him. “Well, lucky for you, I know just the place.”

* * *

They sat down in their usual seats in the Lima Bean. Kurt had slept on the drive there and was feeling more rested than before. They had ordered their drinks and Kurt had bought a cookie to make up for skipping breakfast.

“How are you feeling?” Sebastian asked Kurt as he gazed into his boyfriend’s beautiful eyes.

“Better,” Kurt replied. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. It’s going to feel so weird not seeing you every day.”

“You’ll be fine. It’s not like you’ll go crazy.”

“Wanna bet?” Kurt smirked at him. 

“You just need to distract yourself.”

Kurt sighed. “Easier said than done. I might need to actually talk Finn into proposing to Rachel just so there’ll be some drama around here.”

“Keep me posted.”

“What time does your plane leave?”

“In the morning.”

“Can I go with you to the airport?” Kurt asked.

“I don’t know, I might be tempted to sneak you on board,” Sebastian joked. “Of course you can. And we can have one of those cheesy airport goodbye scenes.”

“I’ve always dreamed of doing one of those,” Kurt admitted.

“Well, now you can. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.” Kurt sighed again. He looked at his watch- it was 11:06m. “That leaves us with barely any time."

“Okay, try not to think of it like that. Think of it as we have almost an entire day together- _just the two of us_. And we’re not going to be saying goodbye, it’s just that you’ll be seeing me as pixels for a while. But I’m still your boyfriend.”

Kurt nodded. He thought back to the promise he made to Blaine when he had transferred back to McKinley. _I’m never saying goodbye to you_. He silently made that promise to Sebastian.

“Did you ask Carole about you visiting me for a weekend?” Sebastian asked.

Kurt perked up at this. “I did. She said just as long as it isn’t too close to the end of the year it should be okay. Just tell me when it conveniences you the most and I’ll book a flight.”

“Perfect!”

“So, tell me about Paris.”

“What in particular?”

“Where do you live?”

“I don’t know if we’re moving back into our old house. But either way, it was beautiful. Small and homely. It had a pretty garden. My grandma used to live with us.” 

“Where does she live now?”

“She died a few weeks before we moved.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. She didn’t like me that much to begin with.”

“Keep going.”

“I told you about how I acted when I lived there, right? How I used to hook up?"

Kurt nodded his head. He did remember. And he remembered that it was moving to Ohio that made Sebastian want to change. “I do.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly have the best reputation, but my friends still stood by me nonetheless. They’re some of the greatest people I’ve ever met- aside from you, of course.” Sebastian squeezed his hand. “Anyway, when I wasn’t hooking up, I was hanging out with them. I’m looking forward to seeing them, actually.”

Kurt bit his lip and nodded. Why was he feeling a little jealous? 

“Do you want to go shopping?” Sebastian asked.

“Huh?”

“You seem a little sad and shopping cheers you up. I could use some new clothes for Paris anyway. My mom is donating most of my old ones to charity.”

Kurt narrowed his eyes. “You waited until _now_ to mention that you need clothes?”

Sebastian shrugged sheepishly. “Sorry?”

Kurt grabbed his boyfriend's hand. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Kurt was in his element. He knew exactly what style he wanted to dress Sebastian in, and luckily for him, his boyfriend was more than happy to let Kurt take the lead. Sebastian tried on whatever Kurt handed him without complaint.

Honestly, Kurt’s style was amazing.

And the clothes he chose for Sebastian were impeccable.

“So why are you throwing out all of your clothes?” Kurt asked as he held a pale blue shirt up against Sebastian’s chest. “Didn’t you just buy a ton?”

“Most of them are 7 months old,” Sebastian replied.

“How is that possible?!”

“They were the ones you picked out just before I started at McKinley.”

“That was 7 months ago?!” Kurt couldn’t believe it. He had known Sebastian for 7 months. “You haven’t replaced your clothes for 7 months?!”

“Is that an issue?”

“I go shopping every _week_.”

“And that makes you happy. I don’t really like shopping too much, but it’s fun to do it with you. I like how concentrated you are.”

Kurt smiled at him. “Fair enough. Can you try these on for me, please?”

Sebastian accepted the pile of clothes from Kurt and made his way to the changing room. 

Kurt continued to browse, picking out a few things for himself that he knew Mercedes would adore to see him in. It had dawned on him that this could be one of his last times shopping in Lima. After graduation, Carole was moving to Canada to live with her friend. She said an empty house would be too much for her since her 3 boys were leaving. The only thing that was tying Kurt to Lima was the New Directions, and in a year, he wouldn’t have that anymore either. 

He wouldn’t have to step foot in Ohio ever again if he didn’t want to. 

Sebastian tapped Kurt on his shoulder, scaring his boyfriend out of his thoughts. “What are you thinking so hard about?”

Kurt gave him a calming smile. “Nothing.” He pointed to the clothes Sebastian was carrying. “Are they all good?”

“Yup! You did an amazing job.”

“Thank you. Are you hungry?”

“Um,” Sebastian looked at the time: 1:27pm, “yeah. Do you want to get something to eat?”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They went to the food court, with Kurt ordering their lunch while Sebastian found them a table. Instead, Sebastian went to the jewellers.

A week ago he had ordered a custom piece and had intended to pick it up sooner, but he kept getting distracted. Luckily for him, Kurt was always willing to go to the mall, so he could pick it up today. 

After thanking the jeweller for their incredible work, he went back to the food court just as he saw Kurt looking around, seeming lost. Sebastian quickly sat down at a 2 seater table and called Kurt over.

“Oh, there you are,” Kurt said, sitting down and putting the tray on the table. “Where have you been? I looked over here earlier and couldn’t see you.”

“I went to get you this.” Sebastian reached into the top of his carrier bag and pulled out the box containing his gift for Kurt.

“Oh!” Kurt took the box and opened it excitedly. Inside was a golden chain with a heart-shaped locket attached. “Seb, it’s beautiful. Thank you.”

“Open it.”

Kurt opened the locket and sighed happily when he saw what was inside. There was a picture of himself on the left, and one of Sebastian on the right. “Oh my God…”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it! Can you put it on me?”

Sebastian nodded and stood up. When he was stood behind Kurt, he took the locket and fastened it around Kurt’s neck. “There.”

“Thank you. But what’s the occasion?” Kurt asked.

“So that even when we’re apart, we’re always together.”

* * *

The last thing that Sebastian wanted to do was go for a walk in the park. Kurt wasn’t sure why; Sebastian had never mentioned anything about a park prior to that moment. But if that was what his boyfriend wanted, Kurt sure as hell was going to make sure that it happened. 

It was the park that Kurt and Blaine had spent the last of their summer in, where Blaine had tried to convince him to take a gap year instead of starting college. Now that Kurt thought about it, Blaine’s attempts at controlling his future had been so obvious. Kurt was glad that Sebastian did nothing but encourage him to reach his true potential.

They walked through the park together, holding hands and nudging each other in the side when the other made a terrible joke. Neither boy could stop thinking about how much they would miss this.

Sebastian dragged Kurt over to an isolated area, where a lonesome tree stood. He and Kurt laid under it, still holding onto each other.

“So, you’ve been to Paris before, right?” Sebastian said.

“I believe that was what one of our first conversations were about, yes,” Kurt replied.

“What was that like?”

“It was nice. We didn’t live there like you, we just went on vacation. I’ve been 3 times. The first was when I was 4, which I don’t really remember. The second time I was 6, and the third I was 7. We were supposed to go again when I was 8, but my mom was too sick by then so we cancelled.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Sebastian gently stroked Kurt’s jawline with his thumb and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “What sorts of things did you do in Paris?”

“Mostly just touristy things. You’d had probably shamed us for being so ‘basic’.”

Sebastian laughed. “Maybe. Anything you remember in particular?”

“Not really. When I think back to it, I just recall feeling happy and seeing my parents so in love and having a good time.”

“That’s sweet. I mostly just remember the sex.”

That comment stung Kurt, and Sebastian seemed to notice. 

“Oh, babe, I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered, squeezing Kurt’s hand. “That was a bad joke. Of course that's not all I remember at all.”

Kurt nodded his head. _What if going back to Paris sets him back to his old ways?_ Kurt thought bitterly. Especially with long distance. Would it be too much temptation for Sebastian to handle? “Are we crazy for trying long distance?” he mumbled.

“What?” Sebastian sat up. “No, I don’t think we are. We care about each other a lot. I would- Do you think I’d cheat on you?”

“I don’t know. I never thought Blaine would-”

“Can you stop comparing me to Blaine?!” Sebastian snapped, then he took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for getting at you. But the sooner you realise that _I am not_ your ex, the easier this will be. I would never cheat on you, no matter who the guy is, I don’t want him. I just want you, okay?”

Kurt nodded his head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Come here.” Sebastian held his arms out and Kurt snuggled into him. 

* * *

The next morning, Kurt woke up feeling sick again. He had been unable to sleep the night before, so he had called Sebastian and the two had talked until they each fell asleep. He didn’t want Sebastian to leave, but he was above creating some evil scheme to force his boyfriend into staying.

He went over to Sebastian’s house early in the morning to help the Smythe’s with some of the last-minute packing. Sebastian’s mom and dad tried their best to send Kurt away, but he was stubborn.

He was going to take every minute with Sebastian he could get.

He and Sebastian were just putting his new clothes into his suitcase when Kurt got an idea. It was an awful one, but he was desperate. 

He decided to take his time packing up Sebastian’s things, because that way, Sebastian would _have_ to stay here with him if he wasn't ready. He slowly folded up a pair of jeans, smoothing down non-existent creases. He then reorganised half of the suitcase to make room for it, despite there being plenty of space.

It wasn’t until Kurt had repeated those actions with the 6th piece of clothing that Sebastian spoke up.

“I know what you’re doing.”

Kurt gave Sebastian an innocent look. “What am I doing?”

“You’re stalling.”

Kurt sighed. “You caught me.”

Sebastian pulled him into a hug and stroked his back soothingly. “It’ll be okay, Kurt.”

Kurt tried to hold back the tears. “I know it will,” his voice cracked, “but it still hurts.”

Sebastian began to tear up himself. “4 months. We can make it, I promise.”

“What if we can’t?”

“We can. Our life isn’t some angsty fanfiction. We'll be okay."

“Yeah, sure. Sorry. Of course we’ll be okay. It’s us, Seb.”

“Yeah, it’s us.”

* * *

It felt as if they were moving in slow motion. All too soon it was time for Sebastian to get on the plane, and they had to say their goodbyes.

Sebastian slowly moved his hand from his side to cup Kurt’s cheek. He was saying something, but Kurt couldn’t hear him. His voice was drowned out.

It was Sebastian’s father’s voice that cut it.

“Sebastian! Let’s go, now.”

Sebastian shook his head. “Just give us a minute, Dad.” He turned back to Kurt once his father had left. “Are you okay?”

Kurt wasn’t. But he had to pretend to be. “Yeah,” he croaked out.

“Okay, well, I better get going.”

“Wait!” Kurt pulled Sebastian in for a long, passionate kiss. This was it. He had to say those three words- Sebastian _had_ to know how he felt. “Seb…”

“Yeah?”

“I-”

“Sebastian! Now!”

“Dad!” Sebastian yelled back, groaning. He looked at Kurt sympathetically. “Sorry. Carry on.”

“I…” _Come on, Kurt_ , “I’ll miss you.”

Sebastian smiled at him. “I’ll miss you more. I’ll call you when I land, ‘kay?”

“Okay,” Kurt gave him one last hug. “Later, Smythe.”

“Later, Hummel.”


	38. 17 Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Sebastian try to adjust to their new lives as well as keep their relationship strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time zones are hard so just pretend they're accurate here  
> 

After a long drive back to Lima, Kurt was relieved to be home. To his surprise, he hadn’t cried at all on his way home. No matter how hard it was to watch Sebastian walk away, he hadn’t let himself lose it. He couldn’t. He had promised Sebastian he was okay, so he had to be okay.

And when he walked into his house, that was the first thing he was asked.

“Dude, are you okay?” Finn asked, shooting Sam and Puck a concerned look.

"Yeah,” Kurt said, nodding.

“You sure?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Kurt repeated. Truth be told, he wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Maybe he was just in a state of shock.

The three of them were sitting on the couch, and Kurt was honoured to see that they had paused their video game just for him. He sat down on the armchair.

“Is there anything we can do?” Puck inquired, then he offered his controller to Kurt. “You can shoot Finn if you want.”

“Hey!” Finn exclaimed.

Kurt smiled and accepted the controller. They played the game and Kurt found that he was a natural, with the help of Puck, of course. He opted for killing Sam instead, much to the blond’s dismay. But it still didn’t help.

After his 6th time winning, Kurt chucked the controller onto the cushion and sighed. “This isn’t working.”

"Are you okay?" Finn asked again.

Kurt shook his head. “Sebastian’s gone,” he whispered.

“Yeah, we know,” Finn replied. “You said you were fine.”

“I’m not fine!” Kurt exclaimed. “I miss him so much, and I’m angry that he left, though I know it wasn’t his fault! I’m just really confused and-”

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” Finn suggested, cutting off Kurt's ranting.

“No, I’m exhausted. I’m going to go up to bed. Thanks for trying to distract me, though.”

* * *

Kurt woke up hours later to the sound of his phone ringing. He glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand, where the time **3:00** glared back at him. _Who the hell is ringing me at 3am?!_ Kurt thought with annoyance. 

He grabbed his phone and couldn’t help but grin when he saw the caller ID. It was Sebastian.

But why was Sebastian calling him at 3am?

“Hello?” Kurt croaked out after he had answered the call.

“ _Bonjour_ ,” Sebastian chirped from the other end, “ _I'm finally free to talk."_

“Huh?” Kurt didn’t understand what Sebastian meant.

“ _In Paris, babe. I’m in our new house now._ ”

“Paris, right,” Kurt sighed. Everything made sense now. “How is it?”

“ _As perfect as I remember._ ”

“It’s 3am here.”

“ _Oh, crap, I’m sorry. I’ll let you get back to sleep._ ”

“No,” Kurt said quickly. He had waited all day to talk to Sebastian again, and he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep if he passed up this opportunity. “I’m not that tired and I want to talk to you.”

“ _Okay, but when you get tired, just tell me, okay?_ ”

“Okay. Dare I ask how your unpacking is going?”

“ _It’s not too bad, actually. I’m keeping most of my things in boxes so it’s easier when I’m packing again for New York._ ”

“Nice.” Kurt stifled a yawn. “What are you doing later?”

“ _I’m probably going to spend the rest of the day unpacking. I’m meeting up with a couple of my old friends tomorrow, so that’s cool._ ”

“How do your parents like it?”

“ _My mom’s definitely happier. I haven’t really seen my dad._ ”

“That’s nice,” Kurt murmured. He was trying his best to not fall back asleep. He needed to talk to Sebastian so badly. “What’s your house like?”

“ _Um, a little different than our old one. It’s homely, I guess. A little chilly. It feels more like a vacation than home. It’ll take some getting used to._ ”

“Mm, I can’t wait to see it.” Kurt closed his eyes.

“ _Yeah. How does 2 weeks on Wednesday sound?”_

Kurt made a noise in acknowledgement. He wasn’t really listening to Sebastian right now- sleep felt too tempting. 

“ _Kurt?_ ”

“Y’h?”

“ _Do you want to come to Paris in 2 weeks on Wednesday?_ ”

“Yeah, sure…”

“ _You are tired, aren’t you?_ ”

“No… I wanna talk to you.” Kurt forced himself to open his eyes. 

“ _Call me later, okay? I want you to sleep._ ”

Kurt sighed a little. “Okay… Goodnight, Seb.”

“ _Night, Kurt._ ”

Luckily for Kurt, Sebastian hung up the call, so he just closed his eyes and drifted back off.

* * *

Kurt woke up at 8am later that morning, feeling fully rested. He had fuzzy memories of the night before- Sebastian _had_ called him, right?

He didn’t want to disturb Sebastian so Kurt just sent him a quick text saying good morning. His boyfriend replied a few seconds later.

**Sebastian: How did you sleep?**

Kurt smiled and hugged the phone close to his chest. He really had missed talking to Sebastian.

**Kurt: Good actually :) how’s it going?**

**Sebastian: Fine just a weird sleep schedule**

**Sebastian: Probs gonna fall asleep at soon**

Kurt sighed.

**Kurt: Cool! I’m just gonna get breakfast :D call you after!!**

**Sebastian: KK!**

Kurt slid his phone into the pockets of his sweats then went downstairs into the kitchen. Surprisingly, Sam and Finn were already sitting at the counter in the kitchen, eating breakfast.

“Morning, little brother,” Finn said. “Are you feeling better?”

Kurt nodded his head as he got a bowl from the cupboard.

“We’re meeting Puck and the others at the Lima Bean in an hour,” Sam said, “do you want to join us?”

“I’m gonna call Sebastian,” Kurt replied, “but thanks for asking.”

“Oh, is he in Paris now?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, he said the house is nice. He called me at 3am.”

“ _3am?!_ ” Sam exclaimed. “I don’t think there’s anyone I would wake up at that hour for. That time is for sleep and sleep alone.”

Kurt rolled his eyes fondly. “You wouldn’t be saying that if Mercedes was in Paris right now.”

“Maybe.”

“So you’re okay now?” Finn asked.

“Yeah. I miss him like mad, but it’s not as terrifying now that I’ve actually talked to him. I know he’s not _gone,_ gone.”

“Man, I don’t know what I’d do if Rachel left like that,” Finn said. 

“Yeah.” Kurt abandoned his cereal. He had to talk to Sebastian now. “I’m gonna go to the den.”

His roommates said their goodbyes to him and Kurt made his way to the den. He sat down on the couch then pulled his phone out.

“ _Hello?_ ”

And just like that, all of Kurt’s insecurities left. This was _Sebastian_ \- his boyfriend, the boy he had been in love with for God knows how long before he realised it. There was nothing to worry about.

“Hey, you,” Kurt replied.

“ _How’s it going?_ ”

“Good. Finn and Sam are meeting up with the others at the Lima Bean. What about you?”

“ _Fine, thanks for asking. Just taking a break from unpacking to eat. Why aren’t you going with them?_ ”

“I want to talk to you.”

“ _Kurt, promise me you won’t push everyone away because of me._ ”

Kurt sighed. That wasn’t what he was doing, was it? It was his first day without Sebastian, so it wasn’t a big deal if he wanted to spend it on the phone with his boyfriend. Besides, plenty of friends didn’t see each other outside of school. “I promise.”

“ _Okay, good. Do you remember our conversation from this morning?_ ”

“Vaguely.”

“ _I asked you if you wanted to come to Paris in 2 weeks on Wednesday._ ”

“Really?” If Carole said yes, that would only mean 17 days until he could see Sebastian. 

_“Yes, really. And surprisingly, my mom is okay with it._ ”

“I would love to! Thank you.”

“ _Of course. I miss your beautiful face._ ”

“And I miss yours. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“ _Going out with some of my old friends, remember?_ ”

“Oh, right, yeah.” Kurt tried to not think about how that meant that Sebastian might not have any time to talk to him. _Don’t think like that_ , he told himself. _Sebastian isn’t stopping you from seeing your friends, so don’t do it to him._ “I hope you have fun.”

“ _Thanks!_ ”

* * *

They spent the rest of the morning talking until Sebastian said that he was tired and was going to go to bed. Kurt was fine with it. Sebastian needed his rest, and they could talk again.

So Kurt had all day to kill. Sam and Finn were still at the Lima Bean, and it was probably too late for him to join them. He had to find _something_ to do. He didn’t want to be one of those people whose lives revolved around their significant other.

In the end, he resorted to watching a bunch of musicals alone on the couch. When Finn and Sam did come home, they didn’t join him and instead went up to their bedroom.

Kurt sighed as he just finished _Gypsy_. If this was going to be the new normal for the next 4 months, he didn’t like it.

But he was willing to do it for Sebastian.


	39. Paris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter <3  
> I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think in the comments!  
> (Also IK they probably wouldn't get their college letters this soon (IDK I'm British in my college we find out if we get a place the day of our interview) but pretend for plot purposes)

At long, long, long last, it was finally the day before Kurt got to see Sebastian again. Kurt felt relieved to know that in less than 24 hours, he would be in Sebastian’s arms. They worked on their communication, both telling the other if they felt ignored or that they needed some space.

It was this that made Kurt’s anxiousness around seeing his boyfriend fade away. Their relationship was still as strong as ever, if not stronger. He knew that it would just be a matter of locking eyes and everything would click into place.

A couple of days ago, Kurt received his NYADA letter. Rachel had opened hers right away, claiming that she was certain that she would have gotten in. Apparently, she had found a way to change Madame Tibideaux’s mind. However, when she had ripped the envelope open right in front of the glee club, her expression had fallen more and more as she read on.

“I didn’t get in,” she whispered, and even Kurt felt sorry for her.

He had been planning to open his own letter that night over video call with Sebastian, but he had instantly changed his mind. If Rachel had been rejected, what chance did he have of getting in? He knew that if he was going to be turned down, he would need Sebastian there in person to comfort him.

Sebastian had been accepted into NYU. He had called Kurt ecstatically as soon as he opened his letter, waking his boyfriend up in the early mornings. Kurt had been incredibly happy for him, and it was only a few hours later that Kurt had opened his own acceptance letters to 2 of his fashion schools. He tried not to mind the one rejection letter he received. 

So Kurt was looking forward to seeing Sebastian again- in fact, looking forward was a huge understatement. 

He could barely concentrate on anything.

* * *

“So, any big plans?” Mercedes asked Kurt, as he and the girls chatted to each other in the choir room. Mr Shue was late, most likely handing some personal issues with Miss Pillsbury that should be sorted in his own time.

“I’m visiting Sebastian, remember,” Kurt said, unable to keep the grin off of his face.

“Oo,” Quinn playfully punched his arm, “Paris, huh?”

“Paris, indeed.”

Blaine glanced over at them then. He had a frown on his face as he sat in the corner of the room, alone. It seemed as though his friendship with both Rachel and Tina had been terminated, as they were both avoiding him.

“Are you nervous?” Santana asked, leaning her head on Brittany’s shoulder.

“Not really. We haven’t been fighting or anything. I’m just wondering if us seeing each other again will be as magical as I’m imagining. But I have no doubt that we’ll still be in love.” Kurt smiled longingly. 

“In love, huh?” Mercedes raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah.” Kurt’s face flushed with embarrassment. “I do love him…”

Blaine looked over at them again, this time narrowing his eyes slightly.

Kurt groaned. “Excuse me,” Kurt said, standing off of his chair and walking over to Blaine. “What is your problem?!” he demanded, pointing an accusing finger at his ex. 

“What do you mean?” Blaine asked, looking slightly taken aback. 

Kurt fought back a laugh. “You keep looking at me, and I want to know why!”

“You keep talking about Sebastian…”

“And what? Do you think that just because he’s in France that we’ll break up?”

“No, actually, I don’t think that. I just feel sorry for you, is all,” Blaine responded.

Kurt felt like throwing up. He didn’t want Blaine’s _pity_. “You _feel sorry_ for _me_?” 

“Do you really think that Sebastian can resist all of those hot French guys? He’s bound to cheat on you if he hasn’t already.”

 _No_ , Kurt thought, _Sebastian would never cheat on me. I trust him._ “He would never do that. I love him and he loves me,” Kurt hissed. 

“Have you guys ever told each other that?”

“Not that it’s any of your business but-” Kurt hesitated. They hadn’t _said_ it. “We don’t need to say it to each other. I can feel that he loves me and he shows it in the way that he acts. Saying _I love you_ doesn’t mean that you feel that way. And for the record, I learned that from you.”

* * *

The second that Kurt got home, he ran straight up to his room to pack for Paris. He wasn’t sure what sort of activities Sebastian would have in mind for the two of them, so he made sure to include a range of clothes. The weather was apparently quite warm, so packed Sebastian’s favourite pair of shorts of his that showed off his legs. 

He fantasized about what it would be like to see Sebastian again. Would it be stiff at first? Or would it be as if they were never apart?

What about Sebastian’s parents? Sebastian had told Kurt that his mom was much happier now that she was back in Paris, so maybe she would be pleasant towards Kurt. He prayed that she would. 

Finn poked his head into the room. “Hey, little brother. Are you packing for your big trip?”

Kurt flashed him a smile. “Yup! I’m really excited!”

“I can see that,” Finn chuckled. “You’ll stay safe, right?”

“Of course.”

“Great, I love you and I’ll see you when you come back.”

“Love you too.”

* * *

Kurt sat down next to the window on the plane, taking his earbuds out of his bag. It was a long flight, but he had had to wake up early so he just decided to sleep on the flight.

Once the plane started moving, he started his music and closed his eyes.

* * *

_“Honey, wake up.”_

_Kurt opened his eyes and saw Sebastian staring back at him, his green eyes as beautiful as ever. He grinned and threw his arms around his boyfriend, embracing him tightly._

_“Seb! I missed you so much,” Kurt exclaimed._

_“Hey, I’ve only been out of bed for an hour,” Sebastian chuckled, “but I missed you too.”_

_“Bed? What?” Kurt looked around the room and saw that he wasn’t on the plane anymore but was instead in a bedroom. “Where are we?”_

_“At home, silly.” Sebastian ruffled Kurt’s hair. “How long did you sleep for?”_

_“Home? Where’s home?”_

_“New York. Come on, rise and shine.”_

_Kurt sat up and kissed Sebastian gently. Since when were they in New York? The last that he remembered, he was on a plane to Paris._ Oh well _, he thought_ , as long as I’m with Sebastian, I don’t care where I am.

_“Are you hungry?” Sebastian asked. “I cooked breakfast.”_

_“Since when can you cook more than grilled cheese?” Kurt teased. “Unless… did you make grilled cheese for breakfast?”_

_Sebastian rolled his eyes fondly. “Come on, babe, enough of the cooking jokes. I actually did learn a lot from those cooking classes we went to.”_

_“Cooking… classes?”_

_“Yeah, remember? The ones where you completely showed off and we almost got kicked out because it was a_ beginners _class.”_

_“Right…” Kurt had no memory of any such classes, but if Sebastian did, it must have happened. “Yes, I am hungry by the way.”_

_They went into the kitchen, and it was from walking through the living room that Kurt realised where they were. It was the apartment that he had been looking at for when he moved to New York. Except, apparently he was already in New York._

_A stack of pancakes was waiting for him on the kitchen table._

_“Share?” Sebastian asked, though he was already getting 2 forks out of the drawer._

_“Of course.” As Kurt reached out to grab one of the forks, he noticed something on his hand. A ring. “What’s this?” he asked, pointing to the piece of jewellery._

_“Your engagement ring.” Sebastian laughed nervously. “You’d think that you’d recognise it since you spent hours picking it out.”_

_“I did?”_

_“Yes. I tried really hard to pick out one that you’d love, but nothing's good enough for Kurt Hummel, right?”_

_“I’m sure you did an amazing job and I was just being picky.” Kurt stroked the ring. “We’re really engaged, huh?”_

_Hurt flashed across Sebastian’s face at that comment. “Did you hit your head or something?”_

_“No, no, it’s just… I’m still in shock.”_

_“Still? We’ve been engaged for 6 months.”_

6 months. _“What year is it?” How the hell had Kurt managed to miss so much?_

_“Are you okay?” Sebastian raised his eyebrow. “You’re in your final year at NYADA, you have your big Broadway show coming up, and our wedding is next year after we graduate.”_

_Kurt stared at Sebastian in shock. Fiancé, wedding, NYADA, Broadway… it was everything he ever wanted._

* * *

“Sir? Sir, wake up.”

Kurt cracked his eyes open. A stewardess was looking at him, her eyes a bright green like Sebastian’s. “Mm?”

“Can I help you with anything?” she asked. 

Kurt shook his head gently, wincing slightly. His neck was stiff. “Actually, a pillow would be nice,” he said. He hadn’t thought to fetch his own.

“Yes, sir, I’ll be right back.” The stewardess left and returned a few minutes later carrying a neck pillow. 

“Thank you.” Kurt smiled to himself. If only that dream would come true…

* * *

_Kurt felt someone snake their arms around his waist. He turned around and saw Sebastian beaming at him._

_“Hey, you,” Kurt said, kissing him._

_“Happy wedding!” Sebastian exclaimed._

_“Oh? Who’s wedding is it?”_

_“Don’t play dumb.” Sebastian chuckled._

_“I’m being serious.”_

_“It’s_ our _wedding day.”_

_Kurt couldn’t keep the grin off of his face. “We’re getting married today?”_

_“Yes, and it’s going to be the happiest day of our lives.” Sebastian kissed him. “Unless you’re having second thoughts, of course. Is it too much having everyone here? We can reschedule or cancel or-”_

_Kurt cut him off with a kiss. “No, I love you and I can’t wait to marry you.”_

_“I love you too.”_

_“So, shall we do this thing?” Sebastian asked, holding his hand out to Kurt._

_“We shall.” Kurt took his hand._

_Mercedes held tightly onto Kurt’s arm as she walked him down the aisle. Santana had walked Sebastian down a few seconds prior._

_“I’m really happy for you,” Mercedes whispered as she released him._

_“Thank you,” Kurt said. He stood opposite Sebastian, grinning wildly at his soon-to-be husband. “Hi.”_

_“Hi,” Sebastian said._

_Sue Sylvester cleared her throat- she was officiating the wedding?! “I believe that you two losers have prepared some vows,” she said._

_“I’ll go first,” Sebastian said. Santana passed him a gold ring. “Hey, Kurt. I’ve spent the past year trying my hardest to figure out what I want to say to you, and if I’m being honest, I still don’t have a clue. You are the most talented, beautiful, incredible man that I know and I love you so, so much. I vow to always be honest with you, to stay faithful, to remind you how beautiful you are and that you are perfect in my eyes. Because you are, Kurt. You are everything I want, as and long as we have each other, we’re okay. And most importantly, I vow to always love you for the rest of our lives.” He slid the ring onto Kurt’s finger._

_Kurt teared up. Screw NYADA and Broadway- this right here, the man standing in front of him, this was what Kurt wanted. Everything that he had ever wanted. “I love you so much. And I vow to love you no matter what, too-”_

_“Including my hideous polo shirts with the popped collar?” Sebastian interrupted, smirking. The same smirk that Kurt had fallen head over heels for._

_“Including your hideous polo shirts with the popped collar,” Kurt clarified. “And I will always remind you how handsome you are and… I’m just so happy that we’re together. I’ve spent my entire life_ dreaming _of finding someone like you and I just never thought I would. But there you were, with your beautiful green eyes and awful fashion sense. And I’m so glad you were there for me, Seb. And now we can spend the rest of our lives together.” After wiping his eyes, Kurt accepted the ring from Mercedes and carefully slid it onto Sebastian’s finger. “I love you.”_

_“I love you,” Sebastian replied._

_“Well, that was lovely,” Sue said. “Now, by the power invested in me by the internet, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss each other.”_

_Sebastian didn’t even hesitate before wrapping his arms around Kurt and kissing him passionately. Kurt was at a loss of breath. This was it. “The rest of our life starts now,” he whispered._

* * *

The worst part about aeroplanes, to Kurt, was when a baby starts crying. Especially when there were 3 babies on the plane, and one of them crying sets off the others. Because 3 babies crying was enough to wake Kurt up, despite his earbuds being on full. 

He grumbled as he sat up, still tired. He didn’t have anything else he could do, as he had intended to spend the entire flight napping. He wasn’t hungry, either, and he wasn’t one to waste money on food he wouldn’t eat.

So, while the babies cried, he settled for looking through his phone. He wished that he had brought a book or something so he wouldn’t be so bored. As he scrolled through pictures of himself and Sebastian, he felt himself get excited. In just a few hours, he would be in his boyfriend’s arms again. If only the crying would stop so he could _go back to sleep_.

After another hour of painful crying, Kurt was finally able to drift back off.

* * *

_“Kurt? Can you help Elizabeth go back to sleep, please? She won’t stop bugging me,” Sebastian called from the kitchen._

_Kurt looked curiously around the strange house he was in. He couldn’t recognise it at all, but he must live here, right? There were pictures of him and Sebastian hanging on the walls. There were also pictures of a baby that Kurt didn’t recognise._

_“Is that Elizabeth?” he asked himself. He walked into the kitchen and saw a little girl, sitting on the counter, grinning at him. She had Sebastian’s bright green eyes, no doubt._

_“Hi, Daddy,” she giggled, holding her arms._

_Kurt picked her up. “She’s all you,” he said to Sebastian, smiling._

_“Yeah.” Sebastian set his mixing bowl down and got closer to Kurt, putting an arm around his husband’s shoulder. “You don’t mind, right? We discussed this before, she’s still both-”_

_“No, I don’t mind,” Kurt reassured him. He looked at Elizabeth- his_ daughter _\- and smiled. “She’s beautiful.”_

 _“She is,” Sebastian agreed, and Elizabeth laughed. “I’m not sure who she takes after in personality, though, because she is_ way _too polite to take after us.”_

_"She’s perfect.”_

_“Perfect, but very distracting,” Sebastian said. “Can you get her to take a nap, please? Or we’ll be having dinner late again tonight.”_

_“Of course.” Kurt carried Elizabeth upstairs and found a door with a huge, green_ **E** _on it. He took her inside and tucked her into bed._

_“Not tired,” Elizabeth sang._

_Kurt chuckled. “Oh, yeah? How about I read you a story?”_

_“Sing!”_

_“_ _Your grandmother used to sing to me when I was a young boy,” he told her, his voice soft._

_Elizabeth scrunched her nose up. “Granny can’t sing.”_

_Kurt was confused for a second as to why his daughter would know whether or not his mother had a beautiful voice, but then he realised that she wasn't_ _talking about his mom. “Oh, you’re talking about Carole. I mean my actual mom, who you’re named after, actually.”_

_“Really? Where is she?” Elizabeth looked around the room._

_“Oh, um, she’s not with us anymore.” Kurt started to tear up so he kissed her forehead. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”_

_“Night, Daddy.”_

_He went back downstairs and found Sebastian in the kitchen, having just finished preparing dinner._

_“Hey, are you okay?” Sebastian asked, embracing his husband when he saw the tears in his eyes._

_“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Kurt wiped his eyes and kissed Sebastian on the cheek. “She’s amazing.”_

_“Because she has you as a role model.”_

_“And you.”_

_“True, I_ am _amazing. So, you really like being a dad?”_

_“I love it.”_

_“Well, Liz turns 6 next month… do you remember what we discussed?”_

_“What?”_

_“That when she was old enough, we would consider having another kid. Maybe a boy?”_

_Kurt smiled. “That is definitely something we should consider.”_

* * *

A few hours later, Kurt woke up and got off of the plane. He looked around the airport and couldn’t see Sebastian anywhere- _did he forget he was supposed to pick me up?_ But then his eyes met the beautiful, green ones that had been haunting his dreams every night. 

“Sebastian,” he breathed. 

“Hummel.” Sebastian made his way over to Kurt and wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you more.”

“Not possible.”

Kurt pulled away from Sebastian slightly to look him in the eyes again- those perfect eyes. He smiled at his boyfriend and kissed him again. “Certainly is possible.”

“Wanna bet?”

 _I love you_. “I would love to bet, but I’m kind of tired,” Kurt said.

“You’re not telling me that you didn’t sleep on the flight.” Sebastian shook his head fondly.

“Okay, I did, but I’m still _tired_ but not _sleepy_. Besides, I want to see your new house!”

“Okay.” Sebastian, with one arm still around Kurt, keeping his boyfriend close, led Kurt out of the airport and to the cab.

* * *

“Mom! I’m home, and I have a special someone.” Sebastian went into the living room with Kurt trailing behind him.

Kurt definitely preferred this house to the one back in Ohio. It was smaller- still unnecessarily big, but homelier. It was warmer and smelled nice. It was evident that people actually lived there.

“It’s nice to see you again, Kurt.” Sebastian’s mom smiled at him and pulled him into a hug, just like she did when they first met. But this hug was friendlier.

Kurt could see what Sebastian meant when he said his mom was happier. Her smile was less strained and more genuine, she was more relaxed, and her tone was more gentle. “It’s nice to see you as well,” Kurt replied, enjoying the hug. 

“So, tell me all about school. Would you like a drink?” she asked.

Kurt was taken aback for a second. “Oh, um, really?”

“Of course, you’re our guest. We want you to feel comfortable here, right, Seb?”

Sebastian nodded. “Right.” He saw Kurt’s shocked expression and lowered his voice so only Kurt could hear, “I told you, it’s weird.”

“Well,” Kurt said, “I’m graduating soon and my Glee club has Nationals coming up.”

“That’s exciting,” Sebastian’s mom said. “What about colleges?”

“I got into 2 of my fashion colleges and…” Kurt reached into the front pocket of his bag, “I have my NYADA letter here. I figured that Seb and I could open it later.”

“Well, don’t let me hold you little lovebirds up,” she said. “You go unpack and make yourself at home. I’ll shout you guys when dinner is ready.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Thanks, Mrs Smythe.”

The couple went upstairs, and after spending half an hour unpacking, Kurt held his NYADA letter in his hands.

“You don’t have to open it,” Sebastian said, rubbing Kurt’s back. “We can do it later.”

“No, it’s okay, I want to know.” Kurt made no effort to open it.

“Babe, to open it you have to… open it.”

Kurt took a deep breath and in one quick movement he ripped the envelope open but didn’t take the envelope out. “What if I don’t get in?”

“You have your back up schools. You’ll be okay no matter what,” Sebastian said. 

Kurt nodded and pulled the letter out, staring at the words. It took reading it 3 times for the words to sink in. Tears formed into the corners of his eyes.

Sebastian instantly took the letter out of his hands and set it to the side and wrapped his boyfriend in a hug. “It’s okay, they didn’t deserve you anyway. Your audition was amazing and-” Sebastian was cut off by Kurt saying something, but his words were muffled. Sebastian pulled back slightly. “Sorry, what was that?”

“I got in,” Kurt whispered, a smile on his face.

“You got in?”

“I got in!” Kurt confirmed, picking the letter back up and waving it in Sebastian’s face. “See!”

Sebastian chuckled and hugged Kurt again. “I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it!”

“I got in.” Kurt was still in disbelief. “I’m going to NYADA.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m going to _NYADA_! We’re going to _New York_ together…”

“You got everything you wanted, babe.”

Kurt laughed gently and took Sebastian’s hands in his. “No, everything that I want is right in front of me.”

Sebastian kissed him. “Let’s go out and celebrate tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.”

* * *

The next day, they went out for dinner to a fancy restaurant that Sebastian had booked reservations for in advance.

“When did you plan this?” Kurt asked once they were seated and had ordered their food. 

“About 3 hours after you confirmed when you were coming.”

“Aw.”

“So, we’re going to New York together,” Sebastian said, stroking Kurt’s ring finger. “What do you think it’ll hold for us?”

Kurt blushed as he remembered his dream on the plane. “I… actually had a sort of dream about that…”

Sebastian smirked. “Sexy dream?”

“No!” Kurt blushed harder. “A… cute, future dream.”

“Tell me about it?” 

“Well, it was our final year of college, we were living together in this cute apartment I was looking at… andwewereengaged.”

“I didn’t catch that last part,” Sebastian said, but his smirk suggested otherwise.

“We were engaged…”

“Keep going.”

“The next dream was our wedding- which we did _not_ share with Britt and Santana. You said these beautiful vows and everything was perfect.”

“That sounds lovely,” Sebastian said.

“And the final dream.”

“Mm?”

“We were dads… we had this beautiful little girl, Elizabeth. She had your eyes and was perfect…” Kurt teared up; it all felt so real.

“God, Kurt, that-that sounds like… I want that with you when we’re older…”

Kurt stared down at the table. “I love you.”

Sebastian didn’t say anything. He just stared at Kurt, his mouth hanging open. 

_Oh, God, that was a mistake_ , Kurt thought. “I mean, no I don’t, that’s too soon, right? I take it back, I’m sorry-”

Kurt was cut off with Sebastian cupping Kurt’s face in his hands. “Don’t take it back,” Sebastian whispered, “because I love you. So, so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed! <3


End file.
